Welcome to yet another Russ Redraft! Is this all I know how to do? Maybe! But come on, it’s fun. So, let’s get to the rules. The basic idea came from the question “What if you redrafted the entire league based purely on TPE? Would the TPE be distributed evenly, or would there still be some really low teams?” So, here we are. I eliminated all S24 players and any player with less than 200 TPE, really because I thought I wouldn’t need that many players. BOY WAS I WRONG! I also tried to eliminate all players who were listed as inactive since before June 01, 2020. Once all the cuts were made, the draft process was simple; Pick the player with the highest TPE left on the board, permitting that your roster has room for them. The roster template I used was based on the average size of the roster size in the league at time of pulling the data, which was 22. I also did not group Defensive Linemen and Defensive Backs together. Rather, I kept all positions separate in order to keep more parity (that was the aim). So, if the highest TPE player available was a CB, but you already had 3 CBs, you move to the next highest TPE player.
MAJOR DISCLAIMER I pulled the data from the Duckblade index at the beginning of the off-season (07/29), so lots of shit is wonky. Activity dates were off. Some retired players had not yet been removed from the index. Admittedly, I should’ve done a better job of tracking that, but alas. Another big concern is that many players had not yet done their regression, so TPE is a bit skewed for some players. I’ve done my best to remedy such cases, and I discuss them in the writeups for each team. This wasn’t the best time I could’ve chosen to do this article, but I knew I needed a lot of time, as the process was all manual, and I needed to get it done in time for that sweet Draft Week Bonus!
Ultimately, outside of the errors mentioned above, I think this new league looks incredibly interesting. The TPE distribution is remarkably even across all teams, which was my goal. However, some teams got hit hard by the errors particularly. I don’t think those skewed the results in a major way, but they definitely had an impact. All things considered, the project yielded interesting results with what I think is a highly competitive league. Please let me know your thoughts, good or bad. Would you have done it differently? Let’s discuss!
Now, control F and find your new team!
Orange County
QB: Monterey "Monty" Jack
RB: Mathias Hanyadi
RB: Acura Skyline
WR: Asher Quinn
WR: Jah Bur'Berry
WR: Jake Dropson
WR: Brock Bodenhamer
TE: Clark Boyd
OL: Perry Tucker Jr.
DE: Troen Egghands
DE: Ismael Sanchez
DT: Bubba Thumper
DT: Shane Masters
LB: Derred de Ville
LB: Ade'lie de Pengu
LB: Ryan Scott
CB: Jim Waters
CB: Matt Krause
CB: Bane Ka'ana'ana
S: Mason Blaylock
S: Richard D'Attoria V
K/P: Venus Powers
Total TPE: 13102
Thanks to the powers of random number generation, The Orange County Otters claimed the first pick in this ultimate redraft. As such, while it wasn’t a guarantee, they did end up with the highest total TPE of all of the new teams. There are some huge highlights in the squad and some interesting quirks. Perhaps the first that people would notice is that Hanyadi and Skyline have been united once again in the new Otters backfield. I don’t know what the odds of that were going into this, but I imagine they were pretty low. They also ended up with one of the youngest QBs in the draft to lead them into the future, Monty Jack. He already has his requisite rough rookie season under his belt, and will enter the season with right around 700 TPE. Jack will be joined by what I imagine would be an excited Asher Quinn, who finally gets to be the primary receiver in offense that should be quite versatile. Bur’Berry is a well-known name at this point and should be a great second option for the young QB. Dropson is IA, but the S23 Bodenhamer is earning very well and should take over the WR3 spot quickly. Boyd is more than serviceable at TE, and could be poised for a breakout.
Bumper was the first overall pick in the draft as he had the highest current TPE at the time of me pulling the data. He and Masters will be a powerhouse combo at DT, both stopping the run and putting pressure on QBs. And they’ll be flanked by Egghands and Sanchez. Sanchez will need to step his activity up, but Egghands is rocking at near 700 TPE as an S22 draftee (you’ll see similar phrases a lot. S22 has around 50 players above 600 TPE. It’s nutty.) The Secondary is certainly promising. Outside of D’Attoria, it’s a very young unit lead by one of the best players in the league, Blaylock. At CB, Waters stamped his name on the league this last season with his 3 INT game. Is he ready to be CB1 right now? That remains a question mark, but he doesn’t have to do it all alone. Krause is an incredibly underrated player in the league and continues to earn his ass off aster being IA in his first season. Bane is a bit of a liability with his speed, but could possibly turn that up in a season or two. Don’t forget kickers are people too, and Powers is one of the best in the game. Due to the high earning nature of Powers, she was taken quite early. But it secures the position for the Otters for the foreseeable future. Another notable quirk of this team, which occurs on other teams as well, the Otters did have to select a player with below 200 TPE due to a shortage at the position. This is due to my poor prior planning.
Overall, the Otters look like they could perhaps ride their defense and incredible run game to the playoffs like the 2000 Ravens, which would fit their current narrative. Their youth should let them to continue to push for an Ultimus in the next couple seasons. Monty Jack is the future of the redrafted Otters, and I know for a fact, they’re in great hands there. There were a handful of established quarterbacks in the draft, but getting this young rising star to lead the lines was quite a boon. Speaking of young stars, the average draft year for this team is S20, which bodes quite well for building toward the future.
Grade: B+
Sarasota
QB: Wolfie McDummy
RB: Dax Frost
RB: Rando Cardrissian
WR: Sean O'Leary
WR: Chris Kross
WR: Garfield Despacito Jr.
WR: Raheem Okusi
TE: Von Hayes
OL: Dick Thruster
DE: Steco Ocewilder
DE: Slinky Claxton
DT: Tyler Montain
DT: Ricardo Morris
LB: Holden Summers
LB: Tyrone Woods
LB: Samuel L Sackson Sr.
CB: Louisiana Purchase
CB: Brando Brooker
CB: Ben Stackinpaper
S: Prince Vegeta
S: Awkward Sexjoke
K/P: Dougie Smalls
Total TPE: 13003
I think this is the team to beat after the redraft. It has so much going for it. McDummy is in his second year of regression, but he was still one of the best QBs available in this redraft. The RB combo of Frost and Rando is terrifying. Both players are from S21, and while there’s a big difference in TPE, both are proven as productive pieces. Rando does not get enough love from the league, that’s for sure. The WR room is pretty good, but you’ll see comparatively that it isn’t top-tier. O’Leary was one of the coveted gems in the draft, and I’m sure Wolfie is happy that he landed in Sarasota. Kross has been IA for a while, but he can still get open and occupy defenders. Despacito is probably the de facto WR2, but he’ll need to pick up the earning to make a bigger impact. Okusi saw some success in the ISFL, but is a low earner that may need replacing soon in order to keep up. Hayes is one of the young stars at the TE position and will be yet another weapon for McDummy. He should offer some help in the blocking schemes as well as in the air.
The glaring weakness of this defense is at LB. It’s the weakest group in the league and I had to pull in Sackson who is IA and under 200 TPE. All three are IA actually. An unfortunate consequence of the structure and critieria + the data being a little wonky. Outside of the LBs though, this team is stacked. The secondary is an immediate contender for best in the new league. As I was working my way through the manual draft process, I kept thinking “there’s no way they get him too,” and every single time, they did. Vegeta is incredible. Sexjoke is IA, but you could do much worse as far as that goes. Booker is one of the best young CBs in the league. Stackinpaper is more than adequate as CB3. And Purchase is easily one of the best CBs in the game. It’s a ridiculous group. And, once again, you can’t forget that they nabbed Smalls, who some are tipping to be a perennial KoTY candidate. They are set there for a long while.
With an incredible defensive unit and an offense that can play to multiple different styles, the Sailfish could definitely push for an Ultimus in the inaugural season of this redrafted league. And, with an average draft year of S21, they should be able to keep the push up for at least 2-3 more seasons.
Grade: B+
San Jose
QB: Colby Jack
RB: Forrest Gump
RB: Fuzzy Dotson
WR: Deondre Thomas-Fox
WR: Thomas Passman
WR: Lucas Scabbia
WR: Taylor Cooper
TE: James Lewandowski
OL: Julio Jones
DE: Immanuel Blackstone
DE: Son Goku
DT: Thorian Skarsgard/Trae Bacon
DT: Braxton Sincliar
LB: Tyron Brackenridge
LB: Inspectah Deck
LB: Wayne Howyanow
CB: Lord Beerus
CB: Colt Mendoza
CB: Lucas Knight
S: Matt "Son of Cross" Havoc
S: Wesley Eriksen
K/P: Matthew McDairmid
Total TPE: 12953
This is the only Secondary that can challenge the Sailfish. Eriksen and Cross are a powerful combo of S22 Safeties that, if they both remain active, will become one of the best tandems around. Beerus and Knight are legendary Cbs, the former coming into his prime and the later a grizzled veteran on the league. Both will be able to give Mendoza space to grow as one of the most promising S22 Corners from his incredibly stacked draft class. DT is their weakest group and will have to be addressed immediately. Due to how the draft played out, they didn’t pick DT until very late. So, they got Skarsgard who is retired, and an IA under 200. Since Skarsgard is retired, I had to fill in with another IA under 200. Not great, but this whole thing sort of broke down in the final rounds. However, their DE combo is one of the best. Blackstone has already immerged as an incredible talent, and Goku is fresh off an impressive rookie campaign. So, if they can pick up a couple DTs they should be able to plug that hole in one draft.
One of my favorite parts of this whole draft was watching how my old team formed and seeing a lot of cats end up right back in their home. I truly believe Matty McDairmid is the best kicker in the league, and that’s based on his stats on a struggling offense. With the way this team is built, he should have plenty of opportunities to blast balls through the uprights at his incredible conversion rate for the next 10 seasons. Brackenridge was their first-round choice, which is fitting as he just resigned with the team in reality. He was also reunited with his old teammate and LB partner, Inspectah Deck. Unfortunately, the LB corps will need some work in future drafts as Deck and Howyaknow are IA and not quite up-to-par. A group that won’t need a ton of help immediately however, is WR. Another current cat leads the way; you know him as DTF. Passman is a major star from the S22 class that flew under some radars, but is already starting to produce in a big way. Scabbia is the 9th highest earning player from the s23 class and should round out this amazing group. Moving further up the roster, we get to RB and it’s a bit up and down. Gump and Dotson are incredible players. For the first season of this new league, these two will be highly effective. But, Gump is already deep into regression and Dotson will enter regression in a year, with a lower TPE amount than you’d like to see. As they move forward, SJS will need to address RB in upcoming drafts, but for a season or two, this combo should be way more than serviceable. Finally, you get to QB and SJS landed rookie, Colby Jack. This Jack brother has not yet taken an ISFL snap, but when he finally does, he will be over 700 TPE. Typically, the sim is not kind to rookie QBs, but with the setup this offense has, he may be able to manage his way through it and push SJS to the playoffs. If he can do that, then the sky could be the limit for this team moving forward.
Grade: B+
New Orleans
QB: Jay Cue
RB: Ashley Owens
RB: Richard Gilbert
WR: Hugh Mongo
WR: Nate Swift
WR: Michael Witheblock
WR: Leeroy Jenkins
TE: Peter Larson
OL: Calvin Golladay
DE: Bobby Boucher
DE: Simeon Works
DT: Reggie Culbertson
DT: Sardine Bean
LB: Galf Wilf
LB: Stanislaw Koniecpolski
LB: Hingle McCringleberry
CB: Xavien Adams
CB: Zamir Kehla
CB: Brennan Kennedy
S: Jamie N'Kiah
S: LiterallyJust A. Hexagon
K/P: Silver Banana
Total TPE: 12918
The Second Line were the lucky winners in the Jay Cue raffle, so they are set to start off hot immediately. And, they most definitely have the right mix of young and veteran talents at WR. The likes of Mongo and Swift should have another great season in them, and Witheblock is one of the brightest young stars at the position. They should be able to draft one more high-tier WR in the upcoming draft and be able to lock this position in for a while. The backfield is another great mix of youth and experience. Owens will hit regression this season, but with over 1000 TPE, should still have a few more seasons of top tier play. And, Gilbert who has quietly earned over 500 TPE, will be ready to take more and more of those touches as Owens slows down. TE will need to be addressed in an upcoming draft as well, but Larson is more than capable of rounding out this incredible offense. And, speaking of round, NOLA managed to snag Golladay as their designated OL. He was one of the highly coveted OL pieces in the S22 draft, so they will be chuffed to have him anchor the line to protect Cue. The other point-scorer on this team is the one-and-only Silver Banana. An incredible kicker with many years left in his legs, NOLA should be fine to leave this position alone.
The defense most definitely has some work to do. They have one of the lowest TPE totals for D-Line in the league, and while that’s the place you’d prefer to have low TPE, it certainly doesn’t help. However, they did get two of the best LBs in the league as far as current talent and youth. Wilf is an absolute animal and has shown his worth plenty of times. Stanislaw is one of my S22 LB peers, and is clearly no slouch as well. Those two will have their work cut out for them while NOLA work to shore up the front seven in future drafts, but surely, they’re up for the challenge. The secondary is up and down as well. Adams is one of the best in the league and Zamir, controversial as he is, is an absolute force in the league. They did end up with a sub-200 TPE CB, but they should be able to replace him soon enough. N’Kiah and Hexagon are a very solid Safety duo, with N’Kiah a perennial contender for multiple awards. Throwing the ball will not be easy against this secondary, but you may be able to exploit the run game fairly well.
Overall, this team seems up and down. They have an incredible offense with a great mix of experience and youth poised to take over those rolls. Cue is a diamond in this draft and can lead this team to immediate success and continue that for feasibly 4-5 more seasons. The defense is a bit shaky and probably won’t generate a lot of pressure. The secondary is incredible and ready to compete right away. But the front seven leaves a lot to be desired. NOLA should be ready to compete, but with some of the new-look teams having high-powered offense already, they may fall short of Ultimus success.
Grade: B-
Baltimore
QB: Franklin Armstrong
RB: Jamar Lackson
RB: Julio Tirtwidjaja
WR: Bender B. Rodriguez
WR: Jed Podolak
WR: Susan Cash Jr.
WR: Griff Oberwald
TE: Avon Blocksdale Jr.
OL: Simon Tremblay
DE: Jayson Kearse
DE: Tycker Om
DT: Otis Allen
DT: Giannis Kroustis
LB: Deshun Jones
LB: Spike Suzuki
LB: Omar Wright Jr.
CB: Mervin Leonard
CB: Cadillac Harris
CB: Jonathon Altidor
S: Thor Kirkby
S: Takeda Okura
K/P: Jacob Small
Total TPE: 13062
Picking in the middle of the draft, The Hawks may very well have ended up with the best new team in the league. This offense is terrifying, even if Armstorng is getting old. They will need to draft the QB of their future immediately to start them gaining in the DSFL, but with the S22 combo of Lackson and Julio, they can lean on their run game to grind opponents into the ground, and bleed clock. Those two combined for 2,347 yards on the ground and 11 TDs. So, not only are they young, but they’ve proven they can handle an ISFL work-load. But, Armstrong is not useless by any stretch, and boy does he have weapons. Bender and Podolak is a combo that plenty of people wouldn’t mind in fantasy football, but for the Hawks, it’s their new reality (kinda. Give it to me.). Cash Jr., is no slouch either and has 3 years of youth on her peers. Then you throw Blocksdale into the mix of this passing attack, and you’re really cooking now. Add in Tremblay to block for this three-headed rushing attack, and you’ve got easily one of the scariest offenses in the league. Finally, you get to rely on the fresh S22 legs of Small to provide consistent and powerful kicks for another 10 seasons. This is an incredible pickup.
Moving on to the defense, things don’t get much better for the rest of the league. Kearse and Om are a solid edge-rushing duo, especially seeing how much the sim fancies Om already. He had 16 TFLs and 4 sacks in his rookie campaign, no easy feat in a league with more and more O-linemen popping up. Now then, you move onto their DT combo and the league weeps, for now. Ottis and Kroustis are monsters. Ottis’ numbers belie his impact on the game. Krou on the other hand, doesn’t need you to look further than the stat sheet to see his impact. He may have slowed down a little in the last year or two, but he’s got enough in the tank to get the job done. At first blush, LB seemed like a weak group, but Jones is one of the best young LBs in the game, and the sim has chosen Suzuki to bless with their powers of disruption. 24 TFLS. That is all. The secondary, admittedly, is a bit of a mess. Leonard is clearly one of the best players in the league, so no issue there. Harris was a great talent coming out of the S22 draft, but has become increasing more IA with the league and may be fully gone by season start. However, you could do worse as an IA player at CB. Altidore is just a complete miss. Not much to say there. Thor is another solid IA, but not ideal. He can have impact on games, but with Okura as his partner, this position will need to be addressed, as well as CB, immediately. Probably need to draft one of each very early and get them working. A good enough DB from a DSFL draft could replace Altidore or Okura as soon as they are drafted.
Overall, The Hawks have the best offense in my eyes. Absolutely lethal pieces everywhere. They’ll need to start grooming Armstrong’s replacement immediately, but he still has a couple years left in him. The defense has some bright spots, but will need to be the focus of the next two drafts minimum. Secondary may be able to skate by until Leonard hits regression. Again, immediate concerns in the next draft are DB DB DB.
Grade: B
Philadelphia
QB: Easton Cole
RB: Sam Torenson
RB: Ruff Ruff
WR: Daymond Brooks
WR: Tychondrius Hood
WR: Videl-San
WR: Doug Howlett
TE: Austin McCormick
OL: Dorfus Jimbo Jr.
DE: Logan Noble Jr.
DE: Patrik Money
DT: Cuco Clemente
DT: Riles McTackle
LB:Mike Hockhertz
LB: Douglas Quaid
LB: Lanzer Grievous
CB: Johnny Snuggles
CB: Lesean Paris Crooks
CB: Caleb Beck
S: Shawn Dawkins
S: Buck Thornton
K/P: J.J. "Jay" Jay-Jaymison
Total TPE: 12925
I think this is the first team that I feel will truly struggle in this redraft. Cole is a great QB. He’s two years into regression now, but still has 2 more years of top-flight play. But, as with the Hawks, they will want to draft their future QB ASAP. Torenson is also starting to really feel the regression bug, but should be able to shoulder the load for another couple seasons. Ruff Ruff is younger, but IA for a while now, so not going to improve. RB will need to be addressed as well in the next draft or two. This WR corps is actually a bright spot in my opinion. They will struggle in year one. That’s just a fact. But, all four of them are S22 or S23. That’s insane. The top 3 will enter S24 with around 550 TPE each, and Howlett is nipping at their heels as well. If that group stays together and pushes each other, the transition at QB should be a smooth one. McCormick is well-known in the league as one of the best TEs and is 14 TPE away from passing the 1000 TPE mark this off-season. Another great weapon for Cole’s twilight years. As for kicker, despite his low TPE, JJJJJJJJJaymison is a great addition. He has been one of the best kickers in the league for two seasons now, so Philly shouldn’t need to address this position for a while.
Running against this Liberty defense will not be fun. Noble and Money are a fantastic young DE combo that can terrorize QBs for a handful of seasons together. Clemente is a solid S22 star as well, and the three of them will be asked to do a lot against some of this new league’s stout run combos. But, is RBs manage to breakthrough, they’ll be met with possible the best LB trio around. Hockhertz is nearing the end of his prime, but still has 3 years of great games left. Quaid is the top of the new-guard, and can do absolutely anything you need on defense. Grievous is near the end of his journey, but he can still get after it. And, he should be able to take a more relaxed role with Hock and Quaid ahead of him. The secondary is another questionable unit. Snuggles is an S13 legend, but is mostly around for morale at this point. Crooks will be the #1 in this secondary with almost 500 TPE, and that just won’t cut the mustard, unfortunately. Beck and Buck are IA, but the latter should still be serviceable as a Safety. Dawkins is an S22 star with nearly 650 TPE, so they will have to build around him if they want to succeed.
Overall, again, I think they will struggle. Their offense has highpoints in their youth at WR, but the aging Cole and Torenson may not be enough to overcome the huge holes the defense will put them in on many occasions. The front seven is very young and can definitely stem the run, but the secondary is a huge issue. Philly will need to draft as many DBS as they can and hope they can hit on some winners quickly.
Grade: B-
Colorado
QB: Stan Francisco/Ben Slothlisberger
RB: Orien Drake
RB: Nicholas Ayers
WR: Jackson Kingston
WR: Friedrich Vequain
WR: Taylor Cooper
WR: Blake Alexander
TE: Tree Gelbman
OL: Givussafare Rubbe
DE: Kyle Idlewyld
DE: Sandro Ryeu
DT: John "Tripod" Smith
DT: Mo "Mamba" Magic
LB: Quenton Bode
LB: Tony Gabagool
LB: Lawrence Bass
CB: David Rector
CB: Desmond Scarlett
CB: Tyler Oles Jr.
S: Hamish MacAndrew
S: Greedy Sly
K/P: Herbert Prohaska
Total TPE: 12915
Let’s get this out of the way. As I mentioned, the data was pulled from the duckblade index and perhaps a little prematurely. A couple of the retired QBs were still listed, so I drafted them and replaced them with the next highest available QBs after each team had taken one. So, Slothlisberger will be leading the ranks for the Yeti in his rookie campaign. Unfortunately, he is being thrown onto possibly the worst team in this draft. Certainly the worst offense. Drake has been IA for ages now, but the S23 Ayers has already passed him in TPE, so he will take the starting job. Is he ready for it? Yet to be decided. He will not have any help from the WRs taking pressure away, that’s for sure. Kingston is the lone ray of sunshine in the group. He’ll enter the season with over 500 TPE, but the drop off is steep after him. Vequain is active, but under 400 TPE as an S22. Not terrible, but as the WR2, he’s going to have a rough go of things. The other two are both S22 IAs that will most likely be dead weight on an already struggling unit. Gelbman is a young TE that could develop a nice role in the future of this offense, but may also struggle with a rookie QB in their first season. They did land Rubbe, the fairest rub of them all. As the offense builds, he will prove to be key in their success.
Converse to the offense, this defense is absolutely stunning and I’m not just saying that because I’m on it. As a matter of fact, LB is the weakest position group. Bode and Gabagool have roughly one season left in each of them, and will hopefully pass off some of their incredible knowledge to Bass who will become one of the leaders of the front seven. They will need to find another LB, if not 2, coming up quickly. The D-Line is stacked, locked and loaded like a toddler’s diaper after trying tacos for the first time. As an S20 draftee, Idlewyld is the oldest member of the group. That’s crazy. Tripod and Mamba anchoring the middle of the line will be a nightmare for any RB. Every rush up the middle will be a futile effort. Ryeu and Idlewyld on the edges will be game-breakers. The Yeti led the league in sacks in S23 with 56. This group could very possibly pass that total. Especially if you take into account the fact that teams are going to have a miserable time throwing the ball against this secondary. I know I’ve said other teams have the best secondary, but I was wrong. The combination of ridiculous top-tier talent and youth makes this a terrifying group. Rector and Scarlett in the same secondary is bonkers. I have no idea how it worked out that this way, but it did. And they add Oles Jr., who’s got damn near 650 TPE as well as an S22. That alone would be enough to make teams shift to running more, but the safeties are the tops too. MacAndrew is an incredible talent from the S22 draft and Greedy is well over 500 TPE as an S23 draftee. Good luck moving the ball on this team.
Overall, that offense? Woof. There are definitely positives. They’ve got some young stars at most positions that will be able to grow over the next few seasons, while they replace their IAs. The good news is, the defense is so young and so fuckin talented, that they may be able to drag them to playoff contention on their own. Has a team defense ever outscored the offense? Asking for a friend.
Grade: C+
Honolulu
QB: Chika Fujiwara
RB: Darrel Williams
RB: Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi
WR: Nick Kaepercolin
WR: Kai Sakura
WR: Dre Matthews
WR: Jerome Davis
TE: Jeffrey Phillips
OL: Benson Bayley Jr.
DE: James Cho
DE: Ben Tu'inuakuafe
DT: Carl Wheezer
DT: Nuniq Annastesia
LB: Honda Edmond
LB: Dex Kennedy
LB: Jack Banks
CB: Korrin Abernathy
CB: Osiris Firestorm-Fjord
CB: AJ Lattimer/Xerxes Ridley
S: Tyrone Biggums
S: DB Jadakiss
K/P: Karmichael Hunt
Total TPE: 13052
The Hahalua ended up with the third highest total TPE in this redraft, a solid shot at competing right away and at being prepared for the future. The S21 Fujiwara will be their gunslinger; a fantastic grab for this format. Fuji already has two seasons out of the way and should be ready to take the next step soon. Their WR corps is very young, but definitely capable. Fuji is reunited with one of his old Hawk teammates in Kaepercolin, and they add the super earner and great person that is Kai Sakura as well. Matthews is not as big an earner as either, but he does a solid job and is another S23, so there’s plenty of potential. This is another team that ended up with a ridiculous RB tandem as well. Williams, another old Hawk, should prove to be one of the top backs in the league. He’ll hit 1000 TPE this season as an S20 draftee. A fantastic feat. And, he will combo with Keʻokeʻo, who will add another great passing threat as well as being a capable runner. Speaking of passing threat, the Hahas also ended up with the coveted Phillips as their TE selection. We all know what he is capable of, after his dominant season in Orange County last year. And, don’t you forget big lad Bayley shoring up the line as well. Huge earning GM player, that will anchor down and hold the line for Fuji and the gang. This offense is young and loaded with talent, and could be one of the best moving into future seasons. Interesting tidbit on Karmichale: I think it’s the only non-ISFL kicker drafted. But, we’ve seen low-TPE kickers be massively successful, so I don’t think this will be a detriment at all.
Defensively, Honolulu ended up in a pretty great place as well. Their front seven needs a little attention, but it’s certainly not bad. Cho is damn near 700 TPE as an S22 which is insane. Tu’inuakuafe will be effective for another couple seasons. Wheezer and Annastesia both put in solid updates this offseason, so they should be more than serviceable as well. Edmond enters regression this year, but stil has at least 3 more years of great play. And, both Banks and Kennedy are late-blooming S22 players that should compliment each other’s styles quite well. Now then, this secondary is another fantastic group. I keep saying it, but I think it’s warranted. I won’t put this in the “best secondary” convo, simply due to the fact that there’s not as much youth on it as other teams. But, hot damn are they incredible right now. Abernathy is incredible. Huge TPE and hasn’t even started regressing yet. Clearly a top CB for probably 3 more years. Fjord is also fantastic and will need to be, due to the next pick being an error. Lattimer is retired, but was still in the Index when I pulled the data. I decided to replace him with a fellow S15 player in Ridley, who will need to be usurped immediately by a fresh draft pick. Now then, to make up for the slack left by Ridley, Honolulu got a huge Safety duo. Biggums is the highest TPE safety in the game. And, while TPE doesn’t exactly correlate to success, it will correlate to longevity. Which will work perfectly with the S23 Jadakiss. Over the next 4 seasons, he will eventually pass Biggums and take over, and by then, the team will have groomed a suitable replacement. In any case, they should be set at safety for another 3 seasons minimum.
Overall, this team is pretty well-balanced. The offense can compete right away in my eyes, even if they need to rely on the run a bit more in their first year. The defense has great youth, but needs a little help at DB and possibly DE in the next couple seaons. This should be a playoff team from the jump, that pushed for an Ultimus in 2-3 years.
Grade: B+
Yellowknife
QB: George O'Donnell
RB: Joseph Petrongolo
RB: Ludicolo Bigby/Jacoby Batista
WR: Rayne Gordon
WR: Future Trunks
WR: William Alexander
WR: Mike Lee
TE: Heath Evans
OL: Bruce Buckley
DE: Nero Alexander
DE: Brave Ulysses
DT: Pete "Plop" Miller
DT: Claude Miller II
LB: Maurice Virtanen
LB: Blade McCoy
LB: Shepherd Marshall
CB: HeHateMe PickSix
CB: Eldrick Avery
CB: Tyron Shields
S: Pete Parker
S: Magnus Valdyr
K/P: Sam Sidekick
Total TPE: 13031
The new-look Wraiths are more than likely a couple years away from Ultimus contention, but not far off. In a redraft scenario O’Donnell is another one of those QB prospects that should be highly coveted. S21 and almost 800 TPE, he’ll be one of the top QBs of the future, and possibly the present with his WR corps. Gordon has established himself as a top threat in the passing game in Sarasota, and should continue that success in Yellowknife. Trunks is another rising star that saw major success in Orange County. Both have the coveted 100 speed, and they’ll need it to beat some of these incredible Secondaries. Alexander is a bit of an underrated talent in the league, and should find some great matchups as WR3. He could be a sneaky producer in this offense, who may need to throw a lot due to their weaker running backs. Petrongolo will be the lead back in this offense, and while he isn’t a bad player, he’s not exactly up to the standard that most teams have at RB1. Bigby is a legend, but he’s also been auto-retired due to inactivity. So, I had to find a similar replacement, and chose Batista. I like wrestling, what can I say? They will need to draft an RB immediately, simple as that. However, they won’t need to draft a TE for a while, because they managed to get Heath Evans; one of the highest TPE players in the stacked S22 draft. And, speaking of S22, they also got one of the big OL options from that draft in Buckley. Lots of positives to look at in this offense. They round out their point-scorers with Sidekick, another S22 kicker who has already shown he’ll be reliable.
Defensively, we’re looking at a familiar story. D-Line is again a bit, but has young talent. Nero has a fat TPE pool to drain, so he can still play at a high level for probably 4 more seasons. However, Ulysses will need to be replaced ASAP. He’s been a great player through his career, but his TPE has dwindled to liability levels. Miller and Miller II, how did that happen? I love redrafts. Anyway, young and strong. What more could you want? These two will feast for seven seasons together. Now, LB is a concern. Virtanen is incredible and will have to be asked to do a lot, because the two behind him are both low TPE inactives. This was a symptom of not enough qualifying LBs being available in the draft. So, they will need to address this ASAP. Hell, they may even need to trade for one if possible. That being said, not all is lost. Would you be surprised if I said we had another contender for best secondary post-redraft? Because we do. PickSix is technically IA, but he’s just trying to manage some life stuff. Even if he doesn’t update regularly, he’s a huge asset to any DB unit. Avery was one of the stars of the S22 DB class and will pair incredibly with PickSix. He wasn’t talked about as much coming into the draft, but has proven to be just as worthy as his peers. Shields is a late-bloomer, but he has absolutely come into his own. If your CB3 is a 500 TPE player that’s only 2 seasons into his career, would you complain? Then you round it off with Pete Parker who is in and out of the league, but can 100% anchor a defense, and Valdyr who is another 500 TPE S22 player. This secondary is very young, but does have a couple IA question marks to be slightly concerned with moving forward. But, again, the concern is slight.
Overall, I’d say this team is most likely a playoff contender right away, but doesn’t have all the pieces necessary to win the big one. In 2-3 seasons, the passing attack will be one of the best in the game and Petrongolo should have emerged as a more-than-solid lead back with a backup under his wing. The front-seven will need some immediate attention and is probably the biggest concern immediately. But, if we assume some of the shakier inactives come back and earn, then this secondary will be a top unit that can carry them quite far.
Grade: B-
Arizona
QB: Brock Phoenix
RB: Marcella Toriki
RB: Tatsu Nakamura
WR: Net Gaines
WR: Action Jackson
WR: Jacoby Clay
WR: Sean Snyder
TE: James Angler
OL: Douglas Quail
DE: Mike Karpaasi
DE: Matt Hole
DT: Rapid Eagle
DT: Yuuto Lira Cloudera
LB: Mack Arianlacher
LB: Warren Stephens
LB: Fawn Dillmiballs
CB: Dermot Lavelle Jr.
CB: Andrew Witten
CB: Thubba Bumper
S: Beat
S: Jack Rambo/Abbas Muhammad
K/P: Alfredo "Thighmaster" Crisco
Total TPE: 13031
The Outlaws also ended up with a very balanced team. I don’t think Ultimus contention is out of the question for them, but they aren’t as young as most of the other teams and there are definitely concerns. Big Cock Brock was another of the biggest gets at QB in this experiment. He’s over 1000 TPE and has been playing at a high level for a while now. He’ll be flanked by yet another potent RB combo. Toriki has wanted to be the feature back in an offense, and while she does have a massive TPE lead on her competition, it won’t be that easy. Nakamura exploded onto the scene last season with over 1400 rushing yards. The combined abilities of these two is frightening. Frightening duo, you say? What about Gaines and Jackson as WR1&2? Could be something serious for sure. Clay(S20) is inactive, but Snyder (S22) has already passed him in TPE, so he shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Snyder will be a great WR3, which leaves Clay to move around to different spots as needed. Angler is a great young TE and Brock will surely be glad to have him among the ranks. He had damn near 1000 receiving yards in his last season, and he’s just getting started. Quail has been IA for about a month now, but he can still fill a hole. They may want to target another OL prospect in the draft, but there are higher priorities for sure. Crisco is the first of only two kickers that I would recommend needs replacing within a season or two. Most of the other kickers are very young, but Crisco is nearing the end of his run.
In a TPE-based redraft, if you had to pick a unit on your team to hold all your lowest TPE players, I think most would agree that it should be your defensive line. That’s certainly the case with the Outlaws. Karpaasi is a bright spot; young, active and right around 400 TPE. Hole is IA and will most likely need replacing soon. Eagle will start the season with nearly 700 TPE, so he should have little issue doing his job effectively. Cloudera has a lower TPE count than you’d ideally want, but the cloud is active and earning, and at a position where you can afford to be a little behind. Not a bad unit by any means, but could use some love. The LBs, however, are set for a long while. The “oldest” in the group is Arianlacher from S19, and he’s got two more seasons before regression. Stephens has been a stalwart defender for multiple seasons now, and should continue on that path. Fawn is one of my S22 LB peers, and he has earned very well. He’ll have over 600 TPE to start the year, and will provide versatility in that he can also be effective rotating to play on the D-Line, or playing in coverage, which they will need him to do. Moving into the secondary, you have Dermot with over 1000 TPE leading the pack. He’s also two years into regression and still has that much TPE. Truly incredible. Witten is one of the best CBs from the S22 class, so you can’t go wrong with putting him on any WR2. Now then, Thubba is another slip-up, as he switched positions after I had pulled my data. For the sake of this experiment, let’s pretend that hadn’t happened and he can be their mid-tier CB3 with potential if he increases activity. Now then, remember when I said the Outlaws had bigger concerns than D-Line? Here they are. Beat and Rambo leave a lot to be desired at Safety, especially since Rambo is retired. Muhammad is not active, so Witten and Lavelle are going to be leaned on heavily to cover, and the LBs will have to pull some double duty as well.
Overall, Arizona may be worse off than I had originally let on. The offense should be one of the best, but the defense leaves some big question marks. The secondary has two great CBs, but outside of that, things get pretty hairy. While some teams have huge TPE monsters at D-Line, Zona do have a better D-Line than I originally thought. And they may have the best LB group in the league. Possibly the most interesting team to see play out.
Grade: B
Austin
QB: Corvo Havran/Luke Skywalker
RB: Mako Mendonca
RB: Kichwa Jones
WR: Saba Donut
WR: Randy Vuxta
WR: Rod Tidwell
WR: Ed Barker
TE: Earl Sauce
OL: Byron Dolls
DE: ILove Gimmy/Chip Otle
DE: Water Chestnut III
DT: Magnus Rikiya
DT: Momona Keiki-Kane
LB: Heinrich Kackpoo
LB: Griffin Porter
LB: Nat Wright
CB: Rotticus Scott
CB: Atlas Quin
CB: Mikel van Perkins
S: Johnny Hellzapoppin
S: Gregor Macgregor
K/P: Datsum Phastbawls
Total TPE: 12972
Ayyyyyy another retired QB taken! Sorry, fam. I worked with what I had. So, instead of Corvo, Austin will have Luke Skywalker. This will be his first year in the big time, but boy does he have some weapons. Wow. Mendonca had 500 yards Receiving last season, as an RB. Austin will be able to utilize that ability if they’d like, because they have Jones who can line up in the backfield when Mako is split out wide. Very solid combo. Now, this is possibly the best “right now” WR group. Donut is coming off of 1400 yard and 12 TD campaign; one of the best in recent memory. He entered regression this year, but still has multiple seasons left as a top WR1. Vuxta has been steadily increasing his abilities in Philly and is primed to take on a bigger role in a budding passing offense. Tidwell is Tidwell. Legend. Touchdown machine. Long play fiend. And Ed Barker is the future star. He’s already showing that he’s a star, but he can get even better. When your WR3&4 combined for 2000 yards in the previous season, I think you might be looking at a great passing attack. At TE, Sauce had solid numbers for a dedicated positional player. He’ll add some yards in the air, but more importantly, he is a great blocker. He and Dolls will have their work cut out for them, protecting their rookie QB and giving him time to find his super star Receivers. PhastBawls is tied for youngest kicker in this draft, and will open his register as a Copperhead. He’s already got a high amount of TPE for an S23 player, so he should be ready.
Gimmy is retired too. Shame on me. Filled in with Otle, who will need to be replaced soon. Chestnut is a GM who know he doesn’t need mega TPE to do his job, but he’ll drop updates when he needs to. Magnus is young, high-earning, and ready to steal your woman. No worries there. Momona, we all hope is doing well, and we hope to see back someday. So, the D-Line will need some attention in the next draft for sure. Unfortunately, so will LB. Kackpoo will be the other rock (Magnus) they build this front seven around. S23 with over 500 TPE; amazing. Porter is another S23 contemporary, but has about 100 less TPE. He’s not a bad player, but a lot will be asked of him and I’m not sure he’s quite ready to compete. Wright is IA and will mostly just fill holes and rotate in when the others are tired. The DB group is young, very young, but is missing one or two established super stars. That’s an odd way of saying they have incredibly talented players that could form one of the best secondaries in two seasons. Rotti is over 700 TPE, and will be asked to cover the WR1s that roll into town. Should be able to handle most with his build. Quinn is over 200 TPE behind his S21 teammate, and will most likely struggle to keep up with most of these high-powered offenses. Perkins Is the youngest of the bunch, so there’s room to grow. But again, probably not ready to compete at this level. Hellzapoppin is another freak from the S22 draft that’s been earning like it’s his literal job. And MacGregor, while a little slower to get started, still has a solid amount of TPE to his name. Should be a fine combo to stem the bleeding.
Overall, I think the major downfall of this team is going to be the defense; a rare sentence from me in this project. They have some great young pieces, but they won’t be ready to compete with some of these mammoth offenses. Their saving grace may be that a lot of teams have rookie or very young QBs that are still developing. That being said, they are in that boat as well. They have amazing weapons in the passing game, but Skywalker may not be ready to utilize them fully in his first year.
Grade: C+
Chicago
QB: Dexter Banks
RB: Baby Yoda
RB: Rick Skuff
WR: Nacho Varga
WR: Flash Panda
WR: Eddie Jeeta
WR: William Lim
TE: Leon McDavid
OL: Laszlo Forty-Two
DE: Mario VonPebbles
DE: Arik Eller
DT: Big Edd
DT: Hank Steel
LB: Haha Mango-Panda
LB: George "Corpse Grinder" Fisher
LB: Ugarth the Dissector
CB: Ray-Ray Jackson
CB: Chester Sweets
CB: Tomage McGullager
S: Walt Green
S: Eugene Smoothie
K/P: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname
Total TPE: 12924
Here we are. The final team. Yes, somehow the Butchers ended up with the final pick, but I swear it was all done randomly. But, last doesn’t mean worst, so let’s take a look. Starting with the kicker! Woah! Alex D. is old man. But, by kicking standards, he’s still probably got 2-3 more seasons of capable kicking. Secondary has some woes, for sure. Smoothie is a great S23 Safety that will learn from Green and take the reigns from him in just a few seasons as regression continues to chip away at Green’s sizeable TPE stores. Corners are very sus. And I don’t mean Jango’s version of sus either. Ray-Ray is an S23 with over 400 TPE, but he is most definitely not a CB1. Sweets has been IA since his first season in the league, but I hold out hope that he might come back some day. Hope he is well. McGullager is another young piece they can build up, but, again, not ready for this level of play. The LBs are fantastic and will let Chicago focus their draft efforts on DBs. Ugarth’s earning has slowed down, but he’s still effective on the field. Fisher is one of the steals of the S22 draft. He has his hands in so many pies in this league, it’s quite impressive. His first couple seasons in San Jose have been inspiring, so it’ll be fun to watch him continue to grow. Haha will lead the front seven, and has proven his efficacy on the field with his last campaign finishing at 129 tackles and 3 INTs. Steel and Big Ole Edd will eat up O-Lineman for lunch. Pancakes will be hard to come by around those two. Eller is a decent presence at DE, but he’ll need to pick up the pace with his earning if he wants to make an impact. Mario is a beast, and anyone who says different is wrong. He’s determined to be one of the best in the league, and he is well on his way.
Moving to the offense, we see a ton of positives. Laszlo is the second highest earning OL in the league, so the runners and QB will be pleased to have him holding up pass rushers. And speaking of blockers, McDavid is the best blocking TE in the entire league. Homie bagged 41 pancakes last season. 41. Eat that. I’m sure he’d like to see his passing role expand a bit, and this very well may be the offense for that to happen in. Chicago drafted a contender for best all around WR corps in terms of “right-now” talent and growth potential. Lim and Jeeta are both in the high 600s in TPE and have produced numbers on the field as well. Lim has an especially amazing S23 with 1200 yards and 7 TDs. It’s about now that you realize that he is the WR3 in this unit. Flash Panda (both of the league’s Pandas on one team, crazy) has unfortunately not been able to flex his muscles yet in Philly because heh as been #3 behind Varga and Vuxta. By TPE, he will be the #1 on this team, and be ahead of his old teammate Varga. The two will have an established chemistry that should help them dominate on the field. Varga is dipping under 700 TPE this year, but he’ll still be a top option. He should have another 2-3 seasons left. And with the other WRs on the team, his decline shouldn’t have much effect. Looking at the RBs, we have another reunion, but this time, it’s a DSFL connection. Yoda and Skuff were the RB combo on the Grey Ducks in my first year in the league, so it’s very interesting to see them back together. Skuff is IA and has been for a minute, but Yoda is the complete opposite. This backfield is his to command, and with 828 TPE, he’ll do just that for another 6-7 years. Finally, we get to Banks. This is a fantastic get for Chicago. They have a high calibur QB right away that can play for probably 4 more years. It may be worth grabbing his replacement in the upcoming draft to let them cook in the DSFL for a while, but the need at CB is so dire, that they may have to wait a year.
Overall, this offense is great right now. Unfortunately, the secondary is going to look like a shooting gallery after each game, so they may not have enough to keep up with other teams. They’ve got to address DB heavy in the upcoming drafts and eventually look for the heir to the QB throne.
Grade: C+
Word Count: 8848
MAJOR DISCLAIMER I pulled the data from the Duckblade index at the beginning of the off-season (07/29), so lots of shit is wonky. Activity dates were off. Some retired players had not yet been removed from the index. Admittedly, I should’ve done a better job of tracking that, but alas. Another big concern is that many players had not yet done their regression, so TPE is a bit skewed for some players. I’ve done my best to remedy such cases, and I discuss them in the writeups for each team. This wasn’t the best time I could’ve chosen to do this article, but I knew I needed a lot of time, as the process was all manual, and I needed to get it done in time for that sweet Draft Week Bonus!
Ultimately, outside of the errors mentioned above, I think this new league looks incredibly interesting. The TPE distribution is remarkably even across all teams, which was my goal. However, some teams got hit hard by the errors particularly. I don’t think those skewed the results in a major way, but they definitely had an impact. All things considered, the project yielded interesting results with what I think is a highly competitive league. Please let me know your thoughts, good or bad. Would you have done it differently? Let’s discuss!
Now, control F and find your new team!
Orange County
QB: Monterey "Monty" Jack
RB: Mathias Hanyadi
RB: Acura Skyline
WR: Asher Quinn
WR: Jah Bur'Berry
WR: Jake Dropson
WR: Brock Bodenhamer
TE: Clark Boyd
OL: Perry Tucker Jr.
DE: Troen Egghands
DE: Ismael Sanchez
DT: Bubba Thumper
DT: Shane Masters
LB: Derred de Ville
LB: Ade'lie de Pengu
LB: Ryan Scott
CB: Jim Waters
CB: Matt Krause
CB: Bane Ka'ana'ana
S: Mason Blaylock
S: Richard D'Attoria V
K/P: Venus Powers
Total TPE: 13102
Thanks to the powers of random number generation, The Orange County Otters claimed the first pick in this ultimate redraft. As such, while it wasn’t a guarantee, they did end up with the highest total TPE of all of the new teams. There are some huge highlights in the squad and some interesting quirks. Perhaps the first that people would notice is that Hanyadi and Skyline have been united once again in the new Otters backfield. I don’t know what the odds of that were going into this, but I imagine they were pretty low. They also ended up with one of the youngest QBs in the draft to lead them into the future, Monty Jack. He already has his requisite rough rookie season under his belt, and will enter the season with right around 700 TPE. Jack will be joined by what I imagine would be an excited Asher Quinn, who finally gets to be the primary receiver in offense that should be quite versatile. Bur’Berry is a well-known name at this point and should be a great second option for the young QB. Dropson is IA, but the S23 Bodenhamer is earning very well and should take over the WR3 spot quickly. Boyd is more than serviceable at TE, and could be poised for a breakout.
Bumper was the first overall pick in the draft as he had the highest current TPE at the time of me pulling the data. He and Masters will be a powerhouse combo at DT, both stopping the run and putting pressure on QBs. And they’ll be flanked by Egghands and Sanchez. Sanchez will need to step his activity up, but Egghands is rocking at near 700 TPE as an S22 draftee (you’ll see similar phrases a lot. S22 has around 50 players above 600 TPE. It’s nutty.) The Secondary is certainly promising. Outside of D’Attoria, it’s a very young unit lead by one of the best players in the league, Blaylock. At CB, Waters stamped his name on the league this last season with his 3 INT game. Is he ready to be CB1 right now? That remains a question mark, but he doesn’t have to do it all alone. Krause is an incredibly underrated player in the league and continues to earn his ass off aster being IA in his first season. Bane is a bit of a liability with his speed, but could possibly turn that up in a season or two. Don’t forget kickers are people too, and Powers is one of the best in the game. Due to the high earning nature of Powers, she was taken quite early. But it secures the position for the Otters for the foreseeable future. Another notable quirk of this team, which occurs on other teams as well, the Otters did have to select a player with below 200 TPE due to a shortage at the position. This is due to my poor prior planning.
Overall, the Otters look like they could perhaps ride their defense and incredible run game to the playoffs like the 2000 Ravens, which would fit their current narrative. Their youth should let them to continue to push for an Ultimus in the next couple seasons. Monty Jack is the future of the redrafted Otters, and I know for a fact, they’re in great hands there. There were a handful of established quarterbacks in the draft, but getting this young rising star to lead the lines was quite a boon. Speaking of young stars, the average draft year for this team is S20, which bodes quite well for building toward the future.
Grade: B+
Sarasota
QB: Wolfie McDummy
RB: Dax Frost
RB: Rando Cardrissian
WR: Sean O'Leary
WR: Chris Kross
WR: Garfield Despacito Jr.
WR: Raheem Okusi
TE: Von Hayes
OL: Dick Thruster
DE: Steco Ocewilder
DE: Slinky Claxton
DT: Tyler Montain
DT: Ricardo Morris
LB: Holden Summers
LB: Tyrone Woods
LB: Samuel L Sackson Sr.
CB: Louisiana Purchase
CB: Brando Brooker
CB: Ben Stackinpaper
S: Prince Vegeta
S: Awkward Sexjoke
K/P: Dougie Smalls
Total TPE: 13003
I think this is the team to beat after the redraft. It has so much going for it. McDummy is in his second year of regression, but he was still one of the best QBs available in this redraft. The RB combo of Frost and Rando is terrifying. Both players are from S21, and while there’s a big difference in TPE, both are proven as productive pieces. Rando does not get enough love from the league, that’s for sure. The WR room is pretty good, but you’ll see comparatively that it isn’t top-tier. O’Leary was one of the coveted gems in the draft, and I’m sure Wolfie is happy that he landed in Sarasota. Kross has been IA for a while, but he can still get open and occupy defenders. Despacito is probably the de facto WR2, but he’ll need to pick up the earning to make a bigger impact. Okusi saw some success in the ISFL, but is a low earner that may need replacing soon in order to keep up. Hayes is one of the young stars at the TE position and will be yet another weapon for McDummy. He should offer some help in the blocking schemes as well as in the air.
The glaring weakness of this defense is at LB. It’s the weakest group in the league and I had to pull in Sackson who is IA and under 200 TPE. All three are IA actually. An unfortunate consequence of the structure and critieria + the data being a little wonky. Outside of the LBs though, this team is stacked. The secondary is an immediate contender for best in the new league. As I was working my way through the manual draft process, I kept thinking “there’s no way they get him too,” and every single time, they did. Vegeta is incredible. Sexjoke is IA, but you could do much worse as far as that goes. Booker is one of the best young CBs in the league. Stackinpaper is more than adequate as CB3. And Purchase is easily one of the best CBs in the game. It’s a ridiculous group. And, once again, you can’t forget that they nabbed Smalls, who some are tipping to be a perennial KoTY candidate. They are set there for a long while.
With an incredible defensive unit and an offense that can play to multiple different styles, the Sailfish could definitely push for an Ultimus in the inaugural season of this redrafted league. And, with an average draft year of S21, they should be able to keep the push up for at least 2-3 more seasons.
Grade: B+
San Jose
QB: Colby Jack
RB: Forrest Gump
RB: Fuzzy Dotson
WR: Deondre Thomas-Fox
WR: Thomas Passman
WR: Lucas Scabbia
WR: Taylor Cooper
TE: James Lewandowski
OL: Julio Jones
DE: Immanuel Blackstone
DE: Son Goku
DT: Thorian Skarsgard/Trae Bacon
DT: Braxton Sincliar
LB: Tyron Brackenridge
LB: Inspectah Deck
LB: Wayne Howyanow
CB: Lord Beerus
CB: Colt Mendoza
CB: Lucas Knight
S: Matt "Son of Cross" Havoc
S: Wesley Eriksen
K/P: Matthew McDairmid
Total TPE: 12953
This is the only Secondary that can challenge the Sailfish. Eriksen and Cross are a powerful combo of S22 Safeties that, if they both remain active, will become one of the best tandems around. Beerus and Knight are legendary Cbs, the former coming into his prime and the later a grizzled veteran on the league. Both will be able to give Mendoza space to grow as one of the most promising S22 Corners from his incredibly stacked draft class. DT is their weakest group and will have to be addressed immediately. Due to how the draft played out, they didn’t pick DT until very late. So, they got Skarsgard who is retired, and an IA under 200. Since Skarsgard is retired, I had to fill in with another IA under 200. Not great, but this whole thing sort of broke down in the final rounds. However, their DE combo is one of the best. Blackstone has already immerged as an incredible talent, and Goku is fresh off an impressive rookie campaign. So, if they can pick up a couple DTs they should be able to plug that hole in one draft.
One of my favorite parts of this whole draft was watching how my old team formed and seeing a lot of cats end up right back in their home. I truly believe Matty McDairmid is the best kicker in the league, and that’s based on his stats on a struggling offense. With the way this team is built, he should have plenty of opportunities to blast balls through the uprights at his incredible conversion rate for the next 10 seasons. Brackenridge was their first-round choice, which is fitting as he just resigned with the team in reality. He was also reunited with his old teammate and LB partner, Inspectah Deck. Unfortunately, the LB corps will need some work in future drafts as Deck and Howyaknow are IA and not quite up-to-par. A group that won’t need a ton of help immediately however, is WR. Another current cat leads the way; you know him as DTF. Passman is a major star from the S22 class that flew under some radars, but is already starting to produce in a big way. Scabbia is the 9th highest earning player from the s23 class and should round out this amazing group. Moving further up the roster, we get to RB and it’s a bit up and down. Gump and Dotson are incredible players. For the first season of this new league, these two will be highly effective. But, Gump is already deep into regression and Dotson will enter regression in a year, with a lower TPE amount than you’d like to see. As they move forward, SJS will need to address RB in upcoming drafts, but for a season or two, this combo should be way more than serviceable. Finally, you get to QB and SJS landed rookie, Colby Jack. This Jack brother has not yet taken an ISFL snap, but when he finally does, he will be over 700 TPE. Typically, the sim is not kind to rookie QBs, but with the setup this offense has, he may be able to manage his way through it and push SJS to the playoffs. If he can do that, then the sky could be the limit for this team moving forward.
Grade: B+
New Orleans
QB: Jay Cue
RB: Ashley Owens
RB: Richard Gilbert
WR: Hugh Mongo
WR: Nate Swift
WR: Michael Witheblock
WR: Leeroy Jenkins
TE: Peter Larson
OL: Calvin Golladay
DE: Bobby Boucher
DE: Simeon Works
DT: Reggie Culbertson
DT: Sardine Bean
LB: Galf Wilf
LB: Stanislaw Koniecpolski
LB: Hingle McCringleberry
CB: Xavien Adams
CB: Zamir Kehla
CB: Brennan Kennedy
S: Jamie N'Kiah
S: LiterallyJust A. Hexagon
K/P: Silver Banana
Total TPE: 12918
The Second Line were the lucky winners in the Jay Cue raffle, so they are set to start off hot immediately. And, they most definitely have the right mix of young and veteran talents at WR. The likes of Mongo and Swift should have another great season in them, and Witheblock is one of the brightest young stars at the position. They should be able to draft one more high-tier WR in the upcoming draft and be able to lock this position in for a while. The backfield is another great mix of youth and experience. Owens will hit regression this season, but with over 1000 TPE, should still have a few more seasons of top tier play. And, Gilbert who has quietly earned over 500 TPE, will be ready to take more and more of those touches as Owens slows down. TE will need to be addressed in an upcoming draft as well, but Larson is more than capable of rounding out this incredible offense. And, speaking of round, NOLA managed to snag Golladay as their designated OL. He was one of the highly coveted OL pieces in the S22 draft, so they will be chuffed to have him anchor the line to protect Cue. The other point-scorer on this team is the one-and-only Silver Banana. An incredible kicker with many years left in his legs, NOLA should be fine to leave this position alone.
The defense most definitely has some work to do. They have one of the lowest TPE totals for D-Line in the league, and while that’s the place you’d prefer to have low TPE, it certainly doesn’t help. However, they did get two of the best LBs in the league as far as current talent and youth. Wilf is an absolute animal and has shown his worth plenty of times. Stanislaw is one of my S22 LB peers, and is clearly no slouch as well. Those two will have their work cut out for them while NOLA work to shore up the front seven in future drafts, but surely, they’re up for the challenge. The secondary is up and down as well. Adams is one of the best in the league and Zamir, controversial as he is, is an absolute force in the league. They did end up with a sub-200 TPE CB, but they should be able to replace him soon enough. N’Kiah and Hexagon are a very solid Safety duo, with N’Kiah a perennial contender for multiple awards. Throwing the ball will not be easy against this secondary, but you may be able to exploit the run game fairly well.
Overall, this team seems up and down. They have an incredible offense with a great mix of experience and youth poised to take over those rolls. Cue is a diamond in this draft and can lead this team to immediate success and continue that for feasibly 4-5 more seasons. The defense is a bit shaky and probably won’t generate a lot of pressure. The secondary is incredible and ready to compete right away. But the front seven leaves a lot to be desired. NOLA should be ready to compete, but with some of the new-look teams having high-powered offense already, they may fall short of Ultimus success.
Grade: B-
Baltimore
QB: Franklin Armstrong
RB: Jamar Lackson
RB: Julio Tirtwidjaja
WR: Bender B. Rodriguez
WR: Jed Podolak
WR: Susan Cash Jr.
WR: Griff Oberwald
TE: Avon Blocksdale Jr.
OL: Simon Tremblay
DE: Jayson Kearse
DE: Tycker Om
DT: Otis Allen
DT: Giannis Kroustis
LB: Deshun Jones
LB: Spike Suzuki
LB: Omar Wright Jr.
CB: Mervin Leonard
CB: Cadillac Harris
CB: Jonathon Altidor
S: Thor Kirkby
S: Takeda Okura
K/P: Jacob Small
Total TPE: 13062
Picking in the middle of the draft, The Hawks may very well have ended up with the best new team in the league. This offense is terrifying, even if Armstorng is getting old. They will need to draft the QB of their future immediately to start them gaining in the DSFL, but with the S22 combo of Lackson and Julio, they can lean on their run game to grind opponents into the ground, and bleed clock. Those two combined for 2,347 yards on the ground and 11 TDs. So, not only are they young, but they’ve proven they can handle an ISFL work-load. But, Armstrong is not useless by any stretch, and boy does he have weapons. Bender and Podolak is a combo that plenty of people wouldn’t mind in fantasy football, but for the Hawks, it’s their new reality (kinda. Give it to me.). Cash Jr., is no slouch either and has 3 years of youth on her peers. Then you throw Blocksdale into the mix of this passing attack, and you’re really cooking now. Add in Tremblay to block for this three-headed rushing attack, and you’ve got easily one of the scariest offenses in the league. Finally, you get to rely on the fresh S22 legs of Small to provide consistent and powerful kicks for another 10 seasons. This is an incredible pickup.
Moving on to the defense, things don’t get much better for the rest of the league. Kearse and Om are a solid edge-rushing duo, especially seeing how much the sim fancies Om already. He had 16 TFLs and 4 sacks in his rookie campaign, no easy feat in a league with more and more O-linemen popping up. Now then, you move onto their DT combo and the league weeps, for now. Ottis and Kroustis are monsters. Ottis’ numbers belie his impact on the game. Krou on the other hand, doesn’t need you to look further than the stat sheet to see his impact. He may have slowed down a little in the last year or two, but he’s got enough in the tank to get the job done. At first blush, LB seemed like a weak group, but Jones is one of the best young LBs in the game, and the sim has chosen Suzuki to bless with their powers of disruption. 24 TFLS. That is all. The secondary, admittedly, is a bit of a mess. Leonard is clearly one of the best players in the league, so no issue there. Harris was a great talent coming out of the S22 draft, but has become increasing more IA with the league and may be fully gone by season start. However, you could do worse as an IA player at CB. Altidore is just a complete miss. Not much to say there. Thor is another solid IA, but not ideal. He can have impact on games, but with Okura as his partner, this position will need to be addressed, as well as CB, immediately. Probably need to draft one of each very early and get them working. A good enough DB from a DSFL draft could replace Altidore or Okura as soon as they are drafted.
Overall, The Hawks have the best offense in my eyes. Absolutely lethal pieces everywhere. They’ll need to start grooming Armstrong’s replacement immediately, but he still has a couple years left in him. The defense has some bright spots, but will need to be the focus of the next two drafts minimum. Secondary may be able to skate by until Leonard hits regression. Again, immediate concerns in the next draft are DB DB DB.
Grade: B
Philadelphia
QB: Easton Cole
RB: Sam Torenson
RB: Ruff Ruff
WR: Daymond Brooks
WR: Tychondrius Hood
WR: Videl-San
WR: Doug Howlett
TE: Austin McCormick
OL: Dorfus Jimbo Jr.
DE: Logan Noble Jr.
DE: Patrik Money
DT: Cuco Clemente
DT: Riles McTackle
LB:Mike Hockhertz
LB: Douglas Quaid
LB: Lanzer Grievous
CB: Johnny Snuggles
CB: Lesean Paris Crooks
CB: Caleb Beck
S: Shawn Dawkins
S: Buck Thornton
K/P: J.J. "Jay" Jay-Jaymison
Total TPE: 12925
I think this is the first team that I feel will truly struggle in this redraft. Cole is a great QB. He’s two years into regression now, but still has 2 more years of top-flight play. But, as with the Hawks, they will want to draft their future QB ASAP. Torenson is also starting to really feel the regression bug, but should be able to shoulder the load for another couple seasons. Ruff Ruff is younger, but IA for a while now, so not going to improve. RB will need to be addressed as well in the next draft or two. This WR corps is actually a bright spot in my opinion. They will struggle in year one. That’s just a fact. But, all four of them are S22 or S23. That’s insane. The top 3 will enter S24 with around 550 TPE each, and Howlett is nipping at their heels as well. If that group stays together and pushes each other, the transition at QB should be a smooth one. McCormick is well-known in the league as one of the best TEs and is 14 TPE away from passing the 1000 TPE mark this off-season. Another great weapon for Cole’s twilight years. As for kicker, despite his low TPE, JJJJJJJJJaymison is a great addition. He has been one of the best kickers in the league for two seasons now, so Philly shouldn’t need to address this position for a while.
Running against this Liberty defense will not be fun. Noble and Money are a fantastic young DE combo that can terrorize QBs for a handful of seasons together. Clemente is a solid S22 star as well, and the three of them will be asked to do a lot against some of this new league’s stout run combos. But, is RBs manage to breakthrough, they’ll be met with possible the best LB trio around. Hockhertz is nearing the end of his prime, but still has 3 years of great games left. Quaid is the top of the new-guard, and can do absolutely anything you need on defense. Grievous is near the end of his journey, but he can still get after it. And, he should be able to take a more relaxed role with Hock and Quaid ahead of him. The secondary is another questionable unit. Snuggles is an S13 legend, but is mostly around for morale at this point. Crooks will be the #1 in this secondary with almost 500 TPE, and that just won’t cut the mustard, unfortunately. Beck and Buck are IA, but the latter should still be serviceable as a Safety. Dawkins is an S22 star with nearly 650 TPE, so they will have to build around him if they want to succeed.
Overall, again, I think they will struggle. Their offense has highpoints in their youth at WR, but the aging Cole and Torenson may not be enough to overcome the huge holes the defense will put them in on many occasions. The front seven is very young and can definitely stem the run, but the secondary is a huge issue. Philly will need to draft as many DBS as they can and hope they can hit on some winners quickly.
Grade: B-
Colorado
QB: Stan Francisco/Ben Slothlisberger
RB: Orien Drake
RB: Nicholas Ayers
WR: Jackson Kingston
WR: Friedrich Vequain
WR: Taylor Cooper
WR: Blake Alexander
TE: Tree Gelbman
OL: Givussafare Rubbe
DE: Kyle Idlewyld
DE: Sandro Ryeu
DT: John "Tripod" Smith
DT: Mo "Mamba" Magic
LB: Quenton Bode
LB: Tony Gabagool
LB: Lawrence Bass
CB: David Rector
CB: Desmond Scarlett
CB: Tyler Oles Jr.
S: Hamish MacAndrew
S: Greedy Sly
K/P: Herbert Prohaska
Total TPE: 12915
Let’s get this out of the way. As I mentioned, the data was pulled from the duckblade index and perhaps a little prematurely. A couple of the retired QBs were still listed, so I drafted them and replaced them with the next highest available QBs after each team had taken one. So, Slothlisberger will be leading the ranks for the Yeti in his rookie campaign. Unfortunately, he is being thrown onto possibly the worst team in this draft. Certainly the worst offense. Drake has been IA for ages now, but the S23 Ayers has already passed him in TPE, so he will take the starting job. Is he ready for it? Yet to be decided. He will not have any help from the WRs taking pressure away, that’s for sure. Kingston is the lone ray of sunshine in the group. He’ll enter the season with over 500 TPE, but the drop off is steep after him. Vequain is active, but under 400 TPE as an S22. Not terrible, but as the WR2, he’s going to have a rough go of things. The other two are both S22 IAs that will most likely be dead weight on an already struggling unit. Gelbman is a young TE that could develop a nice role in the future of this offense, but may also struggle with a rookie QB in their first season. They did land Rubbe, the fairest rub of them all. As the offense builds, he will prove to be key in their success.
Converse to the offense, this defense is absolutely stunning and I’m not just saying that because I’m on it. As a matter of fact, LB is the weakest position group. Bode and Gabagool have roughly one season left in each of them, and will hopefully pass off some of their incredible knowledge to Bass who will become one of the leaders of the front seven. They will need to find another LB, if not 2, coming up quickly. The D-Line is stacked, locked and loaded like a toddler’s diaper after trying tacos for the first time. As an S20 draftee, Idlewyld is the oldest member of the group. That’s crazy. Tripod and Mamba anchoring the middle of the line will be a nightmare for any RB. Every rush up the middle will be a futile effort. Ryeu and Idlewyld on the edges will be game-breakers. The Yeti led the league in sacks in S23 with 56. This group could very possibly pass that total. Especially if you take into account the fact that teams are going to have a miserable time throwing the ball against this secondary. I know I’ve said other teams have the best secondary, but I was wrong. The combination of ridiculous top-tier talent and youth makes this a terrifying group. Rector and Scarlett in the same secondary is bonkers. I have no idea how it worked out that this way, but it did. And they add Oles Jr., who’s got damn near 650 TPE as well as an S22. That alone would be enough to make teams shift to running more, but the safeties are the tops too. MacAndrew is an incredible talent from the S22 draft and Greedy is well over 500 TPE as an S23 draftee. Good luck moving the ball on this team.
Overall, that offense? Woof. There are definitely positives. They’ve got some young stars at most positions that will be able to grow over the next few seasons, while they replace their IAs. The good news is, the defense is so young and so fuckin talented, that they may be able to drag them to playoff contention on their own. Has a team defense ever outscored the offense? Asking for a friend.
Grade: C+
Honolulu
QB: Chika Fujiwara
RB: Darrel Williams
RB: Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi
WR: Nick Kaepercolin
WR: Kai Sakura
WR: Dre Matthews
WR: Jerome Davis
TE: Jeffrey Phillips
OL: Benson Bayley Jr.
DE: James Cho
DE: Ben Tu'inuakuafe
DT: Carl Wheezer
DT: Nuniq Annastesia
LB: Honda Edmond
LB: Dex Kennedy
LB: Jack Banks
CB: Korrin Abernathy
CB: Osiris Firestorm-Fjord
CB: AJ Lattimer/Xerxes Ridley
S: Tyrone Biggums
S: DB Jadakiss
K/P: Karmichael Hunt
Total TPE: 13052
The Hahalua ended up with the third highest total TPE in this redraft, a solid shot at competing right away and at being prepared for the future. The S21 Fujiwara will be their gunslinger; a fantastic grab for this format. Fuji already has two seasons out of the way and should be ready to take the next step soon. Their WR corps is very young, but definitely capable. Fuji is reunited with one of his old Hawk teammates in Kaepercolin, and they add the super earner and great person that is Kai Sakura as well. Matthews is not as big an earner as either, but he does a solid job and is another S23, so there’s plenty of potential. This is another team that ended up with a ridiculous RB tandem as well. Williams, another old Hawk, should prove to be one of the top backs in the league. He’ll hit 1000 TPE this season as an S20 draftee. A fantastic feat. And, he will combo with Keʻokeʻo, who will add another great passing threat as well as being a capable runner. Speaking of passing threat, the Hahas also ended up with the coveted Phillips as their TE selection. We all know what he is capable of, after his dominant season in Orange County last year. And, don’t you forget big lad Bayley shoring up the line as well. Huge earning GM player, that will anchor down and hold the line for Fuji and the gang. This offense is young and loaded with talent, and could be one of the best moving into future seasons. Interesting tidbit on Karmichale: I think it’s the only non-ISFL kicker drafted. But, we’ve seen low-TPE kickers be massively successful, so I don’t think this will be a detriment at all.
Defensively, Honolulu ended up in a pretty great place as well. Their front seven needs a little attention, but it’s certainly not bad. Cho is damn near 700 TPE as an S22 which is insane. Tu’inuakuafe will be effective for another couple seasons. Wheezer and Annastesia both put in solid updates this offseason, so they should be more than serviceable as well. Edmond enters regression this year, but stil has at least 3 more years of great play. And, both Banks and Kennedy are late-blooming S22 players that should compliment each other’s styles quite well. Now then, this secondary is another fantastic group. I keep saying it, but I think it’s warranted. I won’t put this in the “best secondary” convo, simply due to the fact that there’s not as much youth on it as other teams. But, hot damn are they incredible right now. Abernathy is incredible. Huge TPE and hasn’t even started regressing yet. Clearly a top CB for probably 3 more years. Fjord is also fantastic and will need to be, due to the next pick being an error. Lattimer is retired, but was still in the Index when I pulled the data. I decided to replace him with a fellow S15 player in Ridley, who will need to be usurped immediately by a fresh draft pick. Now then, to make up for the slack left by Ridley, Honolulu got a huge Safety duo. Biggums is the highest TPE safety in the game. And, while TPE doesn’t exactly correlate to success, it will correlate to longevity. Which will work perfectly with the S23 Jadakiss. Over the next 4 seasons, he will eventually pass Biggums and take over, and by then, the team will have groomed a suitable replacement. In any case, they should be set at safety for another 3 seasons minimum.
Overall, this team is pretty well-balanced. The offense can compete right away in my eyes, even if they need to rely on the run a bit more in their first year. The defense has great youth, but needs a little help at DB and possibly DE in the next couple seaons. This should be a playoff team from the jump, that pushed for an Ultimus in 2-3 years.
Grade: B+
Yellowknife
QB: George O'Donnell
RB: Joseph Petrongolo
RB: Ludicolo Bigby/Jacoby Batista
WR: Rayne Gordon
WR: Future Trunks
WR: William Alexander
WR: Mike Lee
TE: Heath Evans
OL: Bruce Buckley
DE: Nero Alexander
DE: Brave Ulysses
DT: Pete "Plop" Miller
DT: Claude Miller II
LB: Maurice Virtanen
LB: Blade McCoy
LB: Shepherd Marshall
CB: HeHateMe PickSix
CB: Eldrick Avery
CB: Tyron Shields
S: Pete Parker
S: Magnus Valdyr
K/P: Sam Sidekick
Total TPE: 13031
The new-look Wraiths are more than likely a couple years away from Ultimus contention, but not far off. In a redraft scenario O’Donnell is another one of those QB prospects that should be highly coveted. S21 and almost 800 TPE, he’ll be one of the top QBs of the future, and possibly the present with his WR corps. Gordon has established himself as a top threat in the passing game in Sarasota, and should continue that success in Yellowknife. Trunks is another rising star that saw major success in Orange County. Both have the coveted 100 speed, and they’ll need it to beat some of these incredible Secondaries. Alexander is a bit of an underrated talent in the league, and should find some great matchups as WR3. He could be a sneaky producer in this offense, who may need to throw a lot due to their weaker running backs. Petrongolo will be the lead back in this offense, and while he isn’t a bad player, he’s not exactly up to the standard that most teams have at RB1. Bigby is a legend, but he’s also been auto-retired due to inactivity. So, I had to find a similar replacement, and chose Batista. I like wrestling, what can I say? They will need to draft an RB immediately, simple as that. However, they won’t need to draft a TE for a while, because they managed to get Heath Evans; one of the highest TPE players in the stacked S22 draft. And, speaking of S22, they also got one of the big OL options from that draft in Buckley. Lots of positives to look at in this offense. They round out their point-scorers with Sidekick, another S22 kicker who has already shown he’ll be reliable.
Defensively, we’re looking at a familiar story. D-Line is again a bit, but has young talent. Nero has a fat TPE pool to drain, so he can still play at a high level for probably 4 more seasons. However, Ulysses will need to be replaced ASAP. He’s been a great player through his career, but his TPE has dwindled to liability levels. Miller and Miller II, how did that happen? I love redrafts. Anyway, young and strong. What more could you want? These two will feast for seven seasons together. Now, LB is a concern. Virtanen is incredible and will have to be asked to do a lot, because the two behind him are both low TPE inactives. This was a symptom of not enough qualifying LBs being available in the draft. So, they will need to address this ASAP. Hell, they may even need to trade for one if possible. That being said, not all is lost. Would you be surprised if I said we had another contender for best secondary post-redraft? Because we do. PickSix is technically IA, but he’s just trying to manage some life stuff. Even if he doesn’t update regularly, he’s a huge asset to any DB unit. Avery was one of the stars of the S22 DB class and will pair incredibly with PickSix. He wasn’t talked about as much coming into the draft, but has proven to be just as worthy as his peers. Shields is a late-bloomer, but he has absolutely come into his own. If your CB3 is a 500 TPE player that’s only 2 seasons into his career, would you complain? Then you round it off with Pete Parker who is in and out of the league, but can 100% anchor a defense, and Valdyr who is another 500 TPE S22 player. This secondary is very young, but does have a couple IA question marks to be slightly concerned with moving forward. But, again, the concern is slight.
Overall, I’d say this team is most likely a playoff contender right away, but doesn’t have all the pieces necessary to win the big one. In 2-3 seasons, the passing attack will be one of the best in the game and Petrongolo should have emerged as a more-than-solid lead back with a backup under his wing. The front-seven will need some immediate attention and is probably the biggest concern immediately. But, if we assume some of the shakier inactives come back and earn, then this secondary will be a top unit that can carry them quite far.
Grade: B-
Arizona
QB: Brock Phoenix
RB: Marcella Toriki
RB: Tatsu Nakamura
WR: Net Gaines
WR: Action Jackson
WR: Jacoby Clay
WR: Sean Snyder
TE: James Angler
OL: Douglas Quail
DE: Mike Karpaasi
DE: Matt Hole
DT: Rapid Eagle
DT: Yuuto Lira Cloudera
LB: Mack Arianlacher
LB: Warren Stephens
LB: Fawn Dillmiballs
CB: Dermot Lavelle Jr.
CB: Andrew Witten
CB: Thubba Bumper
S: Beat
S: Jack Rambo/Abbas Muhammad
K/P: Alfredo "Thighmaster" Crisco
Total TPE: 13031
The Outlaws also ended up with a very balanced team. I don’t think Ultimus contention is out of the question for them, but they aren’t as young as most of the other teams and there are definitely concerns. Big Cock Brock was another of the biggest gets at QB in this experiment. He’s over 1000 TPE and has been playing at a high level for a while now. He’ll be flanked by yet another potent RB combo. Toriki has wanted to be the feature back in an offense, and while she does have a massive TPE lead on her competition, it won’t be that easy. Nakamura exploded onto the scene last season with over 1400 rushing yards. The combined abilities of these two is frightening. Frightening duo, you say? What about Gaines and Jackson as WR1&2? Could be something serious for sure. Clay(S20) is inactive, but Snyder (S22) has already passed him in TPE, so he shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Snyder will be a great WR3, which leaves Clay to move around to different spots as needed. Angler is a great young TE and Brock will surely be glad to have him among the ranks. He had damn near 1000 receiving yards in his last season, and he’s just getting started. Quail has been IA for about a month now, but he can still fill a hole. They may want to target another OL prospect in the draft, but there are higher priorities for sure. Crisco is the first of only two kickers that I would recommend needs replacing within a season or two. Most of the other kickers are very young, but Crisco is nearing the end of his run.
In a TPE-based redraft, if you had to pick a unit on your team to hold all your lowest TPE players, I think most would agree that it should be your defensive line. That’s certainly the case with the Outlaws. Karpaasi is a bright spot; young, active and right around 400 TPE. Hole is IA and will most likely need replacing soon. Eagle will start the season with nearly 700 TPE, so he should have little issue doing his job effectively. Cloudera has a lower TPE count than you’d ideally want, but the cloud is active and earning, and at a position where you can afford to be a little behind. Not a bad unit by any means, but could use some love. The LBs, however, are set for a long while. The “oldest” in the group is Arianlacher from S19, and he’s got two more seasons before regression. Stephens has been a stalwart defender for multiple seasons now, and should continue on that path. Fawn is one of my S22 LB peers, and he has earned very well. He’ll have over 600 TPE to start the year, and will provide versatility in that he can also be effective rotating to play on the D-Line, or playing in coverage, which they will need him to do. Moving into the secondary, you have Dermot with over 1000 TPE leading the pack. He’s also two years into regression and still has that much TPE. Truly incredible. Witten is one of the best CBs from the S22 class, so you can’t go wrong with putting him on any WR2. Now then, Thubba is another slip-up, as he switched positions after I had pulled my data. For the sake of this experiment, let’s pretend that hadn’t happened and he can be their mid-tier CB3 with potential if he increases activity. Now then, remember when I said the Outlaws had bigger concerns than D-Line? Here they are. Beat and Rambo leave a lot to be desired at Safety, especially since Rambo is retired. Muhammad is not active, so Witten and Lavelle are going to be leaned on heavily to cover, and the LBs will have to pull some double duty as well.
Overall, Arizona may be worse off than I had originally let on. The offense should be one of the best, but the defense leaves some big question marks. The secondary has two great CBs, but outside of that, things get pretty hairy. While some teams have huge TPE monsters at D-Line, Zona do have a better D-Line than I originally thought. And they may have the best LB group in the league. Possibly the most interesting team to see play out.
Grade: B
Austin
QB: Corvo Havran/Luke Skywalker
RB: Mako Mendonca
RB: Kichwa Jones
WR: Saba Donut
WR: Randy Vuxta
WR: Rod Tidwell
WR: Ed Barker
TE: Earl Sauce
OL: Byron Dolls
DE: ILove Gimmy/Chip Otle
DE: Water Chestnut III
DT: Magnus Rikiya
DT: Momona Keiki-Kane
LB: Heinrich Kackpoo
LB: Griffin Porter
LB: Nat Wright
CB: Rotticus Scott
CB: Atlas Quin
CB: Mikel van Perkins
S: Johnny Hellzapoppin
S: Gregor Macgregor
K/P: Datsum Phastbawls
Total TPE: 12972
Ayyyyyy another retired QB taken! Sorry, fam. I worked with what I had. So, instead of Corvo, Austin will have Luke Skywalker. This will be his first year in the big time, but boy does he have some weapons. Wow. Mendonca had 500 yards Receiving last season, as an RB. Austin will be able to utilize that ability if they’d like, because they have Jones who can line up in the backfield when Mako is split out wide. Very solid combo. Now, this is possibly the best “right now” WR group. Donut is coming off of 1400 yard and 12 TD campaign; one of the best in recent memory. He entered regression this year, but still has multiple seasons left as a top WR1. Vuxta has been steadily increasing his abilities in Philly and is primed to take on a bigger role in a budding passing offense. Tidwell is Tidwell. Legend. Touchdown machine. Long play fiend. And Ed Barker is the future star. He’s already showing that he’s a star, but he can get even better. When your WR3&4 combined for 2000 yards in the previous season, I think you might be looking at a great passing attack. At TE, Sauce had solid numbers for a dedicated positional player. He’ll add some yards in the air, but more importantly, he is a great blocker. He and Dolls will have their work cut out for them, protecting their rookie QB and giving him time to find his super star Receivers. PhastBawls is tied for youngest kicker in this draft, and will open his register as a Copperhead. He’s already got a high amount of TPE for an S23 player, so he should be ready.
Gimmy is retired too. Shame on me. Filled in with Otle, who will need to be replaced soon. Chestnut is a GM who know he doesn’t need mega TPE to do his job, but he’ll drop updates when he needs to. Magnus is young, high-earning, and ready to steal your woman. No worries there. Momona, we all hope is doing well, and we hope to see back someday. So, the D-Line will need some attention in the next draft for sure. Unfortunately, so will LB. Kackpoo will be the other rock (Magnus) they build this front seven around. S23 with over 500 TPE; amazing. Porter is another S23 contemporary, but has about 100 less TPE. He’s not a bad player, but a lot will be asked of him and I’m not sure he’s quite ready to compete. Wright is IA and will mostly just fill holes and rotate in when the others are tired. The DB group is young, very young, but is missing one or two established super stars. That’s an odd way of saying they have incredibly talented players that could form one of the best secondaries in two seasons. Rotti is over 700 TPE, and will be asked to cover the WR1s that roll into town. Should be able to handle most with his build. Quinn is over 200 TPE behind his S21 teammate, and will most likely struggle to keep up with most of these high-powered offenses. Perkins Is the youngest of the bunch, so there’s room to grow. But again, probably not ready to compete at this level. Hellzapoppin is another freak from the S22 draft that’s been earning like it’s his literal job. And MacGregor, while a little slower to get started, still has a solid amount of TPE to his name. Should be a fine combo to stem the bleeding.
Overall, I think the major downfall of this team is going to be the defense; a rare sentence from me in this project. They have some great young pieces, but they won’t be ready to compete with some of these mammoth offenses. Their saving grace may be that a lot of teams have rookie or very young QBs that are still developing. That being said, they are in that boat as well. They have amazing weapons in the passing game, but Skywalker may not be ready to utilize them fully in his first year.
Grade: C+
Chicago
QB: Dexter Banks
RB: Baby Yoda
RB: Rick Skuff
WR: Nacho Varga
WR: Flash Panda
WR: Eddie Jeeta
WR: William Lim
TE: Leon McDavid
OL: Laszlo Forty-Two
DE: Mario VonPebbles
DE: Arik Eller
DT: Big Edd
DT: Hank Steel
LB: Haha Mango-Panda
LB: George "Corpse Grinder" Fisher
LB: Ugarth the Dissector
CB: Ray-Ray Jackson
CB: Chester Sweets
CB: Tomage McGullager
S: Walt Green
S: Eugene Smoothie
K/P: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname
Total TPE: 12924
Here we are. The final team. Yes, somehow the Butchers ended up with the final pick, but I swear it was all done randomly. But, last doesn’t mean worst, so let’s take a look. Starting with the kicker! Woah! Alex D. is old man. But, by kicking standards, he’s still probably got 2-3 more seasons of capable kicking. Secondary has some woes, for sure. Smoothie is a great S23 Safety that will learn from Green and take the reigns from him in just a few seasons as regression continues to chip away at Green’s sizeable TPE stores. Corners are very sus. And I don’t mean Jango’s version of sus either. Ray-Ray is an S23 with over 400 TPE, but he is most definitely not a CB1. Sweets has been IA since his first season in the league, but I hold out hope that he might come back some day. Hope he is well. McGullager is another young piece they can build up, but, again, not ready for this level of play. The LBs are fantastic and will let Chicago focus their draft efforts on DBs. Ugarth’s earning has slowed down, but he’s still effective on the field. Fisher is one of the steals of the S22 draft. He has his hands in so many pies in this league, it’s quite impressive. His first couple seasons in San Jose have been inspiring, so it’ll be fun to watch him continue to grow. Haha will lead the front seven, and has proven his efficacy on the field with his last campaign finishing at 129 tackles and 3 INTs. Steel and Big Ole Edd will eat up O-Lineman for lunch. Pancakes will be hard to come by around those two. Eller is a decent presence at DE, but he’ll need to pick up the pace with his earning if he wants to make an impact. Mario is a beast, and anyone who says different is wrong. He’s determined to be one of the best in the league, and he is well on his way.
Moving to the offense, we see a ton of positives. Laszlo is the second highest earning OL in the league, so the runners and QB will be pleased to have him holding up pass rushers. And speaking of blockers, McDavid is the best blocking TE in the entire league. Homie bagged 41 pancakes last season. 41. Eat that. I’m sure he’d like to see his passing role expand a bit, and this very well may be the offense for that to happen in. Chicago drafted a contender for best all around WR corps in terms of “right-now” talent and growth potential. Lim and Jeeta are both in the high 600s in TPE and have produced numbers on the field as well. Lim has an especially amazing S23 with 1200 yards and 7 TDs. It’s about now that you realize that he is the WR3 in this unit. Flash Panda (both of the league’s Pandas on one team, crazy) has unfortunately not been able to flex his muscles yet in Philly because heh as been #3 behind Varga and Vuxta. By TPE, he will be the #1 on this team, and be ahead of his old teammate Varga. The two will have an established chemistry that should help them dominate on the field. Varga is dipping under 700 TPE this year, but he’ll still be a top option. He should have another 2-3 seasons left. And with the other WRs on the team, his decline shouldn’t have much effect. Looking at the RBs, we have another reunion, but this time, it’s a DSFL connection. Yoda and Skuff were the RB combo on the Grey Ducks in my first year in the league, so it’s very interesting to see them back together. Skuff is IA and has been for a minute, but Yoda is the complete opposite. This backfield is his to command, and with 828 TPE, he’ll do just that for another 6-7 years. Finally, we get to Banks. This is a fantastic get for Chicago. They have a high calibur QB right away that can play for probably 4 more years. It may be worth grabbing his replacement in the upcoming draft to let them cook in the DSFL for a while, but the need at CB is so dire, that they may have to wait a year.
Overall, this offense is great right now. Unfortunately, the secondary is going to look like a shooting gallery after each game, so they may not have enough to keep up with other teams. They’ve got to address DB heavy in the upcoming drafts and eventually look for the heir to the QB throne.
Grade: C+
Word Count: 8848
![[Image: pot1.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/gkK39ckq/pot1.png)
