This was supposed to be weeks 9-12 but that didn't work out due to delays.
Dallas Birddogs
Kicky Man
Week 9: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards)
Week 10: 2/2 Extra points, 1/2 Field goals (0/1 30-39 yards, 1/1 40-49 yards)
Total: 4/4 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 0/1 30-39 yards, 1/1 40-49 yards)
In week 9 Dallas was completely shut out in the first half, then in the second half they finally strung together a drive to score a touchdown halfway through the third quarter. Man lined up for the extra point, and his kick split the uprights, and secured one point for Dallas. Just a few minutes later and Dallas nearly gets a pick six, two plays after that Zoe Watts punches the ball in from 2 yards out for another Dallas touchdown. Man's kick was good. After their one drive in the third quarter the Dallas offense started to resemble themselves in the first half again, but this time they didn't fully regress as they remained in field goal range for Man to attempt a 28 yard field goal. Man's kick was good, scoring three points for Dallas.
Unlike last week Dallas' offense looked good to start week 10. A seven and a half minute drive to start the game that ended in a touchdown. Man's extra point try was good. Halfway through the second quarter a Dallas drive stalled out in Norfolk territory, instead of punt the ball they decided to attempt a 43 yard field goal. Man's kick was running out of steam, but it made it over the crossbar for a successful field goal. With 16 seconds remaining in the second quarter Man lined up for a 32 yard field goal attempt. His kick was no good, short and inaccurate. Early in the fourth quarter Dallas scored another touchdown, Man's kick was good, but his leg was hit by a Norfolk player, the hit drove him to the ground. Man's leg had just been broken. His season was over.
A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES
Something McDerpants
Week 11: 1/1 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards)
Week 12: 1/1 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 <20 yards, 1/1 20-29 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
Week 13: 4/4 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards, 1/1 40-49 yards)
Week 14: 3/3 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards)
Total: 9/9 Extra points, 8/9 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 3/3 20-29 yards, 3/3 30-39 yards 1/1 40-49 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
Filling in for Dallas' injured kicker comes an unknown entity, a waiver wire pickup, Something McDerpants. In week 11 McDerpants had to sit on the bench until 34 seconds remained in the second quarter. Up until that point Dallas' offense were beating themselves as they had turned the ball over twice. So how did they score? The special teams. A 61 yard punt return TD. McDerpants lined up for the extra point, his first kick in the DSFL was right down the middle, and scored a point for Dallas. Early in the third quarter Dallas finally did something on offense but the drive ultimately stalled out at the 7 yard line. Dallas called McDerpants onto the field to attempt a 24 yard field goal. McDerpants drilled the ball through the uprights to score three points. Halfway through the fourth quarter Dallas started a drive on the London 13 yard line, by the time the drive ended they were on the 22 yard line. McDerpants attempted a 39 yard field goal. In his debut McDerpants was perfect in kicking field goals as his kick was good.
In what ultimately ended as an uninspiring football game, Dallas scored the first points late in the first quarter, a 4 yard run by Bob Murphy. McDerpants lined up for the extra point, and successfully kicked it. Early in the second quarter McDerpants scored a 25 yard field goal, and with one minute remaining in the second quarter McDerpants successfully scored points on his third kick of the game, an 18 yard field goal. With 9 seconds remaining in the second quarter McDerpants attempted a 53 yard field goal. McDerpants kick was short, and that was his first missed kick.
Halfway through the first quarter and Dallas scores their first touchdown of week 13, already having been eliminated from playoff contention they are playing for pride at this point. McDerpants extra point attempt was good. Early in the second quarter Dallas scored their second touchdown of the game, McDerpants extra point attempt was good for the second time. With five seconds remaining in the second quarter Zoe Watts returned a 97 yard kickoff for a touchdown. McDerpants kicked the extra point, and Dallas was feeling good about themselves. Early in the third quarter Dallas scored their fourth touchdown of the game. McDerpants kick was once again good. Early in the fourth quarter Dallas had started to lose steam on offense, McDerpants lined up for a 41 yard field goal attempt, his kick was good. Towards the end of the game McDerpants was called onto the field to attempt to score points for the final time this game. A 32 yard attempt, McDerpants remained automatic going 6/6 in kicks on the game.
In week 14 McDerpants was the first Dallas player to score points, a 28 yard field goal attempt that was good. Early in the second quarter Dallas RB Zoe Watts ran 62 yards through the Portland defense for a touchdown. McDerpants extra point attempt was successful. Late in the second quarter McDerpants attempted a 32 yard field goal, his kick was right down the middle, and scored another three points for Dallas. Halfway through the third quarter Dallas scored their second touchdown of the game, McDerpants extra point attempt was good. McDerpants walked onto the field to score points for what could very well be his last time in a Dallas jersey. Dallas just scored a pick six, McDerpants attempted the extra point. In possibly his final game on Dallas McDerpants was perfect again, going 5/5 on kicks.
Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Leo Bloomfield
Week 9: 2/2 Extra points, 0/0 Field goals
Week 10: 2/2 Extra points, 3/3 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards, 2/2 40-49 yards)
Week 11: 1/1 Extra points, 0/0 Field goals
Week 12: 3/3 Extra points, 0/1 Field goals (0/1 40-49 yards)
Week 13: 3/3 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards)
Week 14: 7/7 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 40-49 yards)
Total: 18/18 Extra points, 6/7 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 2/2 30-39 yards, 3/4 40-49 yards)
Both offenses got off to a slow start in week 9. The first player to score points wasn't even a player on offense, it was a defensive player, who picked off Tijuana's QB for a 32 yard return. Bloomfield turned a 6 point lead into a 7 point lead as his extra point attempt was good. Myrtle Beach's offense still was unable to do much as early in the third quarter their defense made something happen. GOAT TANK forced a fumble, and recovered a fumble on the same play, putting Myrtle Beach at the 1 yard line. Myrtle Beach scored a touchdown on the next play, Bloomfield attempted the extra point, and his kick was right down the middle, scoring another point for Myrtle Beach.
In a game that eventually turned into a shootout in week 10, it did not start that way. The only points scored in the first quarter came halfway through it, a 45 yard field goal attempt by Bloomfield. In the second quarter Bloomfield attempted another long field goal, this one from 44 yards out. His kick was good for the second time this game. Early in the third quarter Bloomfield lined up for a 39 yard field goal, his kick was good for the third time. Late in the third quarter 3' Jeffrey ripped off an 80 yard TD run, Bloomfield kicked the extra point. Early in the fourth quarter Myrtle Beach took advantage of a turnover getting a touchdown. Bloomfield's fifth kick of the game was good.
After actually doing things on offense last week Myrtle Beach couldn't get anything going on offense against Norfolk. In a game that featured a scoreless second half Myrtle Beach's only points came off of a 1 yard run in the second quarter by 3' Jeffrey. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was good. Other than the extra point all his leg did that game was punt the ball 11 for more than 4 football fields worth of distance.
After showing almost no offense last week Myrtle Beach got off to a fast start in week 12 scoring a touchdown early in the first quarter. Bloomfield attempted the extra point, and secured one point for Myrtle Beach. Late in the first quarter Myrtle Beach QB Jackie Daytona connected with Mo for a 20 yard touchdown pass. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was successful for the second time this game. After making a 45 yard field goal, and a 44 yard field goal in week 10 Bloomfield missed a 42 yard attempt this week wide left. His one chance at redemption came with 40 seconds left in the game, Myrtle Beach had just scored a touchdown, and while an extra point would make 0 difference winning or losing as they were up by 4 after the touchdown, Bloomfield still got to kick it. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was good.
Myrtle Beach had a 3 and out to start their week 13. An incredible punt by Bloomfield pinned Dallas at their 1 yard line, just two plays later and Woods picks off the Dallas QB, and returns the ball 8 yards for a touchdown. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was successful. Late in the first quarter Myrtle Beach had a 6 minute drive that ends with an 8 yard run by Forty-Two for a touchdown. Bloomfield's second extra point attempt of the game is successful. Late in the second quarter Myrtle Beach string together another long drive but this time on 3rd and long Daytona gets sacked for a 10 yard loss. Bloomfield walks onto the field for a 38 yard field goal attempt. Bloomfield drilled the ball through the uprights, scoring three points for Myrtle Beach. With 5 seconds let in the second quarter, Myrtle Beach had driven deep into Dallas territory, instead of taking a shot at the end zone they decide to attempt a 22 yard field goal. Bloomfield's kick was right down the middle. Late in the third quarter Daytona connected to Holloway for a 7 yard touchdown pass, Bloomfield's last kick of the game was good.
In a meaningless week 14 game Myrtle Beach put up the most points of the season. Things got off to an early start as GOAT TANK forced a fumble less than 30 seconds into the game, Myrtle Beach picked up the ball, and scored a touchdown 3 plays later. Bloomfield's first extra point attempt was good. Late in the first quarter Minnesota fumbled again, the ball was picked up by Myrtle Beach again, four plays later Myrtle Beach found themselves scoring another touchdown. Bloomfield's second extra point attempt of the game was successful. Early in the second quarter Myrtle Beach score a touchdown not off of a turnover. Daytona found a receiver from 2 yards out to score their third touchdown of the game. Bloomfield's third extra point try of the game was good. Halfway through the second quarter Daytona found the same receiver for a touchdown pass, this time from 14 yards away. Bloomfield successfully kicked his fourth extra point of the game. Minnesota finally managed to not surrender a touchdown as Myrtle Beach attempted a 43 yard field goal. Bloomfield already feeling good from going 4/4 on extra points drilled this ball right down the middle to score another three points for Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach went scoreless in the third quarter, but it would not last as they scored early in the fourth quarter. Bloomfield's fifth extra point of the game was good. Halfway through the fourth quarter Myrtle Beach scored their sixth touchdown of the game, history repeated itself as Bloomfield remained automatic, successfully kicking his sixth extra point in a row. With 1:50 left in the fourth quarter Myrtle Beach scored their seventh touchdown of the game. Bloomfield went a perfect 8/8 on kicks, as his final extra point attempt was good.
Tijuana Luchadores
Jack Burton
Week 9: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 40-49 yards)
Week 10: 3/3 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards, 0/1 40-49 yards)
Week 11: 3/3 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (2/2 30-39 yards)
Week 12: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards)
Week 13: 1/1 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 <20 yards)
Week 14: 1/1 Extra points, 1/3 Field goals (1/3 40-49 yards)
Playoffs round 1: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards)
Total: 14/14 Extra points, 9/12 Field goals (1/1 <20 yards, 2/2 20-29 yards, 4/4 30-39 yards, 2/5 40-49 yards)
In week 9 Burton's first attempt at scoring points would not be an easy one. Burton trotted out onto the field to attempt a 42 yard field goal with 9:12 left in the second quarter, a daunting task. Burton's kick barely snuck in as it bounced in after hitting the left upright. Late in the third quarter Tijuana still had yet to do much offensively, so their special teams decided to do it for them. A 76 yard punt return for a TD. Burton's extra point attempt was successful. First play of the fourth quarter and Tijuana RB Crowbar Theeks punches the ball in from one yard out. Burton's third kick, and second extra point of the game was good.
Halfway through the first quarter of week 10 Tijuana allows Burton to attempt a 32 yard field goal. Burton drills the kick, scoring three points for Tijuana. Late in the first quarter Burton attempted a 42 yard field goal. We never would have known if his kick would have been good or not as it was blocked. Halfway through the second quarter and Tijuana score a touchdown off of a 2 yard pass by QB Mike Boss Jr. Burton's extra point attempt was good. Early in the third quarter Tijuana find themselves on the Kansas City 3 yard line but unable to score. Off the bench comes Burton to try a 20 yard field goal. Burton successfully kicked the chip shot. Early in the fourth quarter Mike Boss Jr. found a receiver for an 18 yard TD pass. Burton's extra point try was good. Just one minute later a Tijuana defender intercepted the Kansas City QB for a 46 yard return that resulted in a touchdown. Burton's third extra point attempt of the game was once again good.
Halfway through the first quarter of week 11 Tijuana QB Mike Boss Jr. found Howlett for a 21 yard touchdown pass. Burton successfully kicked the extra point. Early in the second quarter Tijuana found themselves unable to get into the red zone, and attempted a 39 yard field goal. Burton knocked the ball through the uprights to score three points for Tijuana. Halfway through the third quarter Tijuana RB Crowbar Theeks ran the ball into the endzone from 7 yards out, scoring a touchdown for Tijuana. Burton's extra point attempt was good. Halfway through the fourth quarter Burton attempted a 37 yard field goal, Burton successfully managed to get the ball to go through the uprights, and over the crossbar. With under a minute remaining Tijuana wanting to secure their lead punch the ball in from 2 yards out to score their third touchdown of the game, Burton's extra point try was good.
It took a while for Tijuana's offense to do much in week 12, but early in the third quarter Tijuana started to find life on offense, a 31 yard field goal by Jack Burton would be their first points. All it would take for them to win now is for London to beat themselves. Halfway through the third quarter Mike Boss Jr. found Howlett for a 16 yard TD pass, Burton's extra point attempt was good. Halfway through the fourth quarter and Tijuana scores another touchdown, putting them in the lead. Burton's second extra point attempt was good.
Early in the second quarter Mike Boss Jr. led a methodical drive downfield which ended in a 10 yard TD pass to Howlett. Burton's extra point attempt was good. Burton then had to wait until the fourth quarter to try to score points again, his chance came on a 19 yard attempt. Burton successfully kicked the chip shot field goal, and that was all of his chances to score points. He punted 5 times for 237 yards.
It looked like Tijuana would finally turn their offense around in week 14, scoring a touchdown off of their first drive of the game. Burton's extra point attempt was good. But it turned out to be a mirage caused by heat stroke. Neither offense would score any more points, or do much on offense until late in the third quarter where Burton attempted a 44 yard field goal. His kick was no good as it was wide right. Just 2 minutes later after an interception Burton attempted another field goal, this time from 41 yards out. Burton's kick this time was good. Having already missed from 44, but wanted points to extend their lead Tijuana let Burton attempt a 45 yard field goal, I don't know if he was running out of steam at the end of the season, but he missed this one as well, wide left.
In a rematch from last week in the first round of playoffs both offenses decided to show up instead of staying at the hotel. Early in the second quarter Tijuana scored their first touchdown of the game, Burton's extra point try was good. With 8 seconds left in the second quarter Tijuana attempted a 20 yard field goal, Burton not wanting to miss like he did last week, made this field goal. Burton's final kick of the season came off of a 1 yard run by RB Bronko Mills. Burton's final kick, which was an extra point attempt split the uprights, and scored another point for Tijuana.
Norfolk Seawolves
Melvin Murder-Moose
Week 9: 0/0 Extra points, 4/4 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards, 2/2 40-49 yards)
Week 10: 4/4 Extra points, 0/0 Field goals
Week 11: 1/1 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 40-49 yards)
Week 12: 1/1 Extra points, 3/3 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 2/2 30-39 yards)
Week 13: 0/0 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards)
Week 14: 0/0 Extra points, 1/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
Playoffs round 1: 2/2 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards, 1/2 40-49 yards)
Ultimini: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards)
Total: 10/10 Extra points, 13/15 Field goals (4/4 20-29 yards, 5/5 30-39 yards, 4/5 40-49 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
After a lengthy first drive in week 9 Norfolk stalled out at the Minnesota 7 yard line, instead of going for it on 4th and 5 they decided to kick the field goal. Murder-Moose lined up for a 24 yard field goal attempt. Murder-Moose's kick was good. Late in the first quarter Norfolk was unable to convert on 3rd down, but once again were in field goal range. This time it would be a longer try, a 42 yard field goal attempt for Murder-Moose. With the force Murder-Moose kicked the ball you would think they were trying to murder the ball, Murder-Moose's kick nearly broke the net behind the uprights. The kick was also good, scoring three points for Norfolk. Early in the second quarter Norfolk called on Murder-Moose to attempt a third field goal, a 41 yard attempt this time. Murder-Moose's kick was right down the middle. Halfway through the third quarter Murder-Moose attempted their final kick of the game, a 39 yard attempt. Murder-Moose remained perfect on the game successfully scoring this kick, going 4/4 on the game.
After scoring no touchdowns in week 9 Norfolk wanted to change that in week 10. Late in the first quarter after a methodical drive downfield Norfolk QB Ramza found Matthews in the end zone for a 7 yard TD pass. Murder-Moose's extra point attempt was good. Early in the second quarter Norfolk scored another touchdown. Murder-Moose's second extra point attempt was again successful. Late in the 4th quarter Norfolk scored their third touchdown of the game. Murder-Moose remained automatic, successfully kicking their third extra point of the game. As time ran out Norfolk scored their fourth touchdown of the game, Murder-Moose's fourth extra point attempt was successful once again as they did not miss a single extra point attempt.
In week 11 Norfolk scored the first points of the game off of a 10 yard run by Ramza. Murder-Moose's extra point try was good. After that there wasn't much offense by Norfolk. With 12 seconds remaining in the second quarter Murder-Moose lined up for a 42 yard field goal attempt. Their kick went through the uprights, scoring three points for Norfolk. Norfolk was unable to move the ball much after that, at one point finding themselves on 2nd and 35. What resulted was an ugly game of football where neither team could do anything.
After not doing much on offense last week Norfolk were determined to do something early, scoring a touchdown after a nine minute drive on offense. Murder-Moose's extra point attempt was good. Late in the second quarter Norfolk drove deep into Kansas City territory, ultimately being stopped on the 6 yard line, and attempting a 23 yard field goal. Murder-Moose successfully kicked the chip shot. Early in the fourth quarter Norfolk found themselves in the red zone after picking up one yard on a 2nd and 2. A tackle for loss on the next play took them out of the red zone and and Norfolk decided to go for the field goal. Murder-Moose attempted a 38 yard field goal, Murder-Moose had not missed a kick once in the last 3 weeks so why start now? Murder-Moose drilled the ball through the uprights scoring three points for Norfolk. Late in the fourth quarter Norfolk got into the red zone again, but this time actually managed to stay there. But instead of scoring a touchdown, they attempted a 31 yard field goal with 4:05 left on the clock. Murder-Moose's perfect kicking streak remained intact as they once again did not miss a single kick.
In week 13 Norfolk's offense was shut down by London's defense. Norfolk's lone points came off of their first drive, it ended on the London 8 yard line. That would be the furthest Norfolk ever got into London territory that game. Murder-Moose walked onto the field to attempt a 25 yard field goal. Their kick was good, and scored Norfolk's only points that game. The rest of what Murder-Moose did that game was punt the ball 8 times for 368 yards.
After failing to do anything on offense last week Norfolk wanted to carry some momentum going into playoffs. They didn't. After a drive stalled out on the Tijuana 35 yard line, Norfolk called on Murder-Moose to try a 52 yard field goal. Murder-Moose's kick was accurate, but it was short and bounced off the crossbar. Norfolk was unable to move the ball again until early in the second quarter where they found themselves inside the Tijuana 10. Norfolk's drive stalled out and they found themselves looking at 4th and 7. Norfolk allowed Murder-Moose to try a 25 yard field goal. Murder-Moose's kick was right down the middle, and scored Norfolk's only points of the game going into playoffs. Things would need to change as this would be the opponent they face in the first round of playoffs.
In the first round of playoffs carrying no momentum on the offensive side of the ball Norfolk turned things around quickly scoring a touchdown late in the first quarter, something they hadn't done since before week 13. Murder-Moose's extra point try was successful. With 5 minutes remaining in the second quarter Norfolk let Murder-Moose attempt a 46 yard field goal. The kick was blocked by Tijuana. Late in the third quarter Norfolk RB Captain Rogers ripped off a 56 yard run that left Norfolk on Tijuana's 3 yard line. One play later and Norfolk punches the ball in for a touchdown. Murder-Moose's extra point attempt was good. Early in the fourth quarter Tijuana found themselves facing 3rd and 21, Ramza found Fank for a 19 yard completion to get them in field goal range. Murder-Moose drilled a 35 yard field goal for three points to tie the game. This game went into overtime, but it went deep into overtime. With 58 seconds on the clock Murder-Moose walks onto the field to try a 43 yard field goal attempt. If Murder-Moose hits this field goal, Norfolk is going to the Ultimini. Murder-Moose's kick was not blocked this time. The ball left their foot, it rocketed towards the uprights, and just snuck in, inches from the left upright. Norfolk is headed to the Ultimini.
Norfolk jumped out to an early lead in the Ultimini, scoring the first points late in the first quarter off of a 5 minute drive that ended on the London 22. Murder-Moose walked onto the field with the possibility of scoring the first points of the game. Murder-Moose lined up for a 39 yard field goal attempt. Their kick was right down the middle, scoring three points for Norfolk. Early in the second quarter Norfolk scored a touchdown off of a 4 yard run by Captain Rogers. Murder-Moose attempted the extra point, and successfully scored it. With 5 minutes remaining in the third quarter Norfolk was down by 4, they scored off of another 4 yard run by Captain Rogers. Murder-Moose lined up for the extra point to score the final points Norfolk would put up in the Ultimini to get a 3 point lead. Murder-Moose would not get another chance to score points this season as the London defense held Norfolk on their own side of the field for the remainder of the game.
Part 2 coming tomorrow hopefully
Dallas Birddogs
Kicky Man
Week 9: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards)
Week 10: 2/2 Extra points, 1/2 Field goals (0/1 30-39 yards, 1/1 40-49 yards)
Total: 4/4 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 0/1 30-39 yards, 1/1 40-49 yards)
In week 9 Dallas was completely shut out in the first half, then in the second half they finally strung together a drive to score a touchdown halfway through the third quarter. Man lined up for the extra point, and his kick split the uprights, and secured one point for Dallas. Just a few minutes later and Dallas nearly gets a pick six, two plays after that Zoe Watts punches the ball in from 2 yards out for another Dallas touchdown. Man's kick was good. After their one drive in the third quarter the Dallas offense started to resemble themselves in the first half again, but this time they didn't fully regress as they remained in field goal range for Man to attempt a 28 yard field goal. Man's kick was good, scoring three points for Dallas.
Unlike last week Dallas' offense looked good to start week 10. A seven and a half minute drive to start the game that ended in a touchdown. Man's extra point try was good. Halfway through the second quarter a Dallas drive stalled out in Norfolk territory, instead of punt the ball they decided to attempt a 43 yard field goal. Man's kick was running out of steam, but it made it over the crossbar for a successful field goal. With 16 seconds remaining in the second quarter Man lined up for a 32 yard field goal attempt. His kick was no good, short and inaccurate. Early in the fourth quarter Dallas scored another touchdown, Man's kick was good, but his leg was hit by a Norfolk player, the hit drove him to the ground. Man's leg had just been broken. His season was over.
A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES
Something McDerpants
Week 11: 1/1 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards)
Week 12: 1/1 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 <20 yards, 1/1 20-29 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
Week 13: 4/4 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards, 1/1 40-49 yards)
Week 14: 3/3 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards)
Total: 9/9 Extra points, 8/9 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 3/3 20-29 yards, 3/3 30-39 yards 1/1 40-49 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
Filling in for Dallas' injured kicker comes an unknown entity, a waiver wire pickup, Something McDerpants. In week 11 McDerpants had to sit on the bench until 34 seconds remained in the second quarter. Up until that point Dallas' offense were beating themselves as they had turned the ball over twice. So how did they score? The special teams. A 61 yard punt return TD. McDerpants lined up for the extra point, his first kick in the DSFL was right down the middle, and scored a point for Dallas. Early in the third quarter Dallas finally did something on offense but the drive ultimately stalled out at the 7 yard line. Dallas called McDerpants onto the field to attempt a 24 yard field goal. McDerpants drilled the ball through the uprights to score three points. Halfway through the fourth quarter Dallas started a drive on the London 13 yard line, by the time the drive ended they were on the 22 yard line. McDerpants attempted a 39 yard field goal. In his debut McDerpants was perfect in kicking field goals as his kick was good.
In what ultimately ended as an uninspiring football game, Dallas scored the first points late in the first quarter, a 4 yard run by Bob Murphy. McDerpants lined up for the extra point, and successfully kicked it. Early in the second quarter McDerpants scored a 25 yard field goal, and with one minute remaining in the second quarter McDerpants successfully scored points on his third kick of the game, an 18 yard field goal. With 9 seconds remaining in the second quarter McDerpants attempted a 53 yard field goal. McDerpants kick was short, and that was his first missed kick.
Halfway through the first quarter and Dallas scores their first touchdown of week 13, already having been eliminated from playoff contention they are playing for pride at this point. McDerpants extra point attempt was good. Early in the second quarter Dallas scored their second touchdown of the game, McDerpants extra point attempt was good for the second time. With five seconds remaining in the second quarter Zoe Watts returned a 97 yard kickoff for a touchdown. McDerpants kicked the extra point, and Dallas was feeling good about themselves. Early in the third quarter Dallas scored their fourth touchdown of the game. McDerpants kick was once again good. Early in the fourth quarter Dallas had started to lose steam on offense, McDerpants lined up for a 41 yard field goal attempt, his kick was good. Towards the end of the game McDerpants was called onto the field to attempt to score points for the final time this game. A 32 yard attempt, McDerpants remained automatic going 6/6 in kicks on the game.
In week 14 McDerpants was the first Dallas player to score points, a 28 yard field goal attempt that was good. Early in the second quarter Dallas RB Zoe Watts ran 62 yards through the Portland defense for a touchdown. McDerpants extra point attempt was successful. Late in the second quarter McDerpants attempted a 32 yard field goal, his kick was right down the middle, and scored another three points for Dallas. Halfway through the third quarter Dallas scored their second touchdown of the game, McDerpants extra point attempt was good. McDerpants walked onto the field to score points for what could very well be his last time in a Dallas jersey. Dallas just scored a pick six, McDerpants attempted the extra point. In possibly his final game on Dallas McDerpants was perfect again, going 5/5 on kicks.
Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Leo Bloomfield
Week 9: 2/2 Extra points, 0/0 Field goals
Week 10: 2/2 Extra points, 3/3 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards, 2/2 40-49 yards)
Week 11: 1/1 Extra points, 0/0 Field goals
Week 12: 3/3 Extra points, 0/1 Field goals (0/1 40-49 yards)
Week 13: 3/3 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards)
Week 14: 7/7 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 40-49 yards)
Total: 18/18 Extra points, 6/7 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 2/2 30-39 yards, 3/4 40-49 yards)
Both offenses got off to a slow start in week 9. The first player to score points wasn't even a player on offense, it was a defensive player, who picked off Tijuana's QB for a 32 yard return. Bloomfield turned a 6 point lead into a 7 point lead as his extra point attempt was good. Myrtle Beach's offense still was unable to do much as early in the third quarter their defense made something happen. GOAT TANK forced a fumble, and recovered a fumble on the same play, putting Myrtle Beach at the 1 yard line. Myrtle Beach scored a touchdown on the next play, Bloomfield attempted the extra point, and his kick was right down the middle, scoring another point for Myrtle Beach.
In a game that eventually turned into a shootout in week 10, it did not start that way. The only points scored in the first quarter came halfway through it, a 45 yard field goal attempt by Bloomfield. In the second quarter Bloomfield attempted another long field goal, this one from 44 yards out. His kick was good for the second time this game. Early in the third quarter Bloomfield lined up for a 39 yard field goal, his kick was good for the third time. Late in the third quarter 3' Jeffrey ripped off an 80 yard TD run, Bloomfield kicked the extra point. Early in the fourth quarter Myrtle Beach took advantage of a turnover getting a touchdown. Bloomfield's fifth kick of the game was good.
After actually doing things on offense last week Myrtle Beach couldn't get anything going on offense against Norfolk. In a game that featured a scoreless second half Myrtle Beach's only points came off of a 1 yard run in the second quarter by 3' Jeffrey. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was good. Other than the extra point all his leg did that game was punt the ball 11 for more than 4 football fields worth of distance.
After showing almost no offense last week Myrtle Beach got off to a fast start in week 12 scoring a touchdown early in the first quarter. Bloomfield attempted the extra point, and secured one point for Myrtle Beach. Late in the first quarter Myrtle Beach QB Jackie Daytona connected with Mo for a 20 yard touchdown pass. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was successful for the second time this game. After making a 45 yard field goal, and a 44 yard field goal in week 10 Bloomfield missed a 42 yard attempt this week wide left. His one chance at redemption came with 40 seconds left in the game, Myrtle Beach had just scored a touchdown, and while an extra point would make 0 difference winning or losing as they were up by 4 after the touchdown, Bloomfield still got to kick it. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was good.
Myrtle Beach had a 3 and out to start their week 13. An incredible punt by Bloomfield pinned Dallas at their 1 yard line, just two plays later and Woods picks off the Dallas QB, and returns the ball 8 yards for a touchdown. Bloomfield's extra point attempt was successful. Late in the first quarter Myrtle Beach had a 6 minute drive that ends with an 8 yard run by Forty-Two for a touchdown. Bloomfield's second extra point attempt of the game is successful. Late in the second quarter Myrtle Beach string together another long drive but this time on 3rd and long Daytona gets sacked for a 10 yard loss. Bloomfield walks onto the field for a 38 yard field goal attempt. Bloomfield drilled the ball through the uprights, scoring three points for Myrtle Beach. With 5 seconds let in the second quarter, Myrtle Beach had driven deep into Dallas territory, instead of taking a shot at the end zone they decide to attempt a 22 yard field goal. Bloomfield's kick was right down the middle. Late in the third quarter Daytona connected to Holloway for a 7 yard touchdown pass, Bloomfield's last kick of the game was good.
In a meaningless week 14 game Myrtle Beach put up the most points of the season. Things got off to an early start as GOAT TANK forced a fumble less than 30 seconds into the game, Myrtle Beach picked up the ball, and scored a touchdown 3 plays later. Bloomfield's first extra point attempt was good. Late in the first quarter Minnesota fumbled again, the ball was picked up by Myrtle Beach again, four plays later Myrtle Beach found themselves scoring another touchdown. Bloomfield's second extra point attempt of the game was successful. Early in the second quarter Myrtle Beach score a touchdown not off of a turnover. Daytona found a receiver from 2 yards out to score their third touchdown of the game. Bloomfield's third extra point try of the game was good. Halfway through the second quarter Daytona found the same receiver for a touchdown pass, this time from 14 yards away. Bloomfield successfully kicked his fourth extra point of the game. Minnesota finally managed to not surrender a touchdown as Myrtle Beach attempted a 43 yard field goal. Bloomfield already feeling good from going 4/4 on extra points drilled this ball right down the middle to score another three points for Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach went scoreless in the third quarter, but it would not last as they scored early in the fourth quarter. Bloomfield's fifth extra point of the game was good. Halfway through the fourth quarter Myrtle Beach scored their sixth touchdown of the game, history repeated itself as Bloomfield remained automatic, successfully kicking his sixth extra point in a row. With 1:50 left in the fourth quarter Myrtle Beach scored their seventh touchdown of the game. Bloomfield went a perfect 8/8 on kicks, as his final extra point attempt was good.
Tijuana Luchadores
Jack Burton
Week 9: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 40-49 yards)
Week 10: 3/3 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards, 0/1 40-49 yards)
Week 11: 3/3 Extra points, 2/2 Field goals (2/2 30-39 yards)
Week 12: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards)
Week 13: 1/1 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 <20 yards)
Week 14: 1/1 Extra points, 1/3 Field goals (1/3 40-49 yards)
Playoffs round 1: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards)
Total: 14/14 Extra points, 9/12 Field goals (1/1 <20 yards, 2/2 20-29 yards, 4/4 30-39 yards, 2/5 40-49 yards)
In week 9 Burton's first attempt at scoring points would not be an easy one. Burton trotted out onto the field to attempt a 42 yard field goal with 9:12 left in the second quarter, a daunting task. Burton's kick barely snuck in as it bounced in after hitting the left upright. Late in the third quarter Tijuana still had yet to do much offensively, so their special teams decided to do it for them. A 76 yard punt return for a TD. Burton's extra point attempt was successful. First play of the fourth quarter and Tijuana RB Crowbar Theeks punches the ball in from one yard out. Burton's third kick, and second extra point of the game was good.
Halfway through the first quarter of week 10 Tijuana allows Burton to attempt a 32 yard field goal. Burton drills the kick, scoring three points for Tijuana. Late in the first quarter Burton attempted a 42 yard field goal. We never would have known if his kick would have been good or not as it was blocked. Halfway through the second quarter and Tijuana score a touchdown off of a 2 yard pass by QB Mike Boss Jr. Burton's extra point attempt was good. Early in the third quarter Tijuana find themselves on the Kansas City 3 yard line but unable to score. Off the bench comes Burton to try a 20 yard field goal. Burton successfully kicked the chip shot. Early in the fourth quarter Mike Boss Jr. found a receiver for an 18 yard TD pass. Burton's extra point try was good. Just one minute later a Tijuana defender intercepted the Kansas City QB for a 46 yard return that resulted in a touchdown. Burton's third extra point attempt of the game was once again good.
Halfway through the first quarter of week 11 Tijuana QB Mike Boss Jr. found Howlett for a 21 yard touchdown pass. Burton successfully kicked the extra point. Early in the second quarter Tijuana found themselves unable to get into the red zone, and attempted a 39 yard field goal. Burton knocked the ball through the uprights to score three points for Tijuana. Halfway through the third quarter Tijuana RB Crowbar Theeks ran the ball into the endzone from 7 yards out, scoring a touchdown for Tijuana. Burton's extra point attempt was good. Halfway through the fourth quarter Burton attempted a 37 yard field goal, Burton successfully managed to get the ball to go through the uprights, and over the crossbar. With under a minute remaining Tijuana wanting to secure their lead punch the ball in from 2 yards out to score their third touchdown of the game, Burton's extra point try was good.
It took a while for Tijuana's offense to do much in week 12, but early in the third quarter Tijuana started to find life on offense, a 31 yard field goal by Jack Burton would be their first points. All it would take for them to win now is for London to beat themselves. Halfway through the third quarter Mike Boss Jr. found Howlett for a 16 yard TD pass, Burton's extra point attempt was good. Halfway through the fourth quarter and Tijuana scores another touchdown, putting them in the lead. Burton's second extra point attempt was good.
Early in the second quarter Mike Boss Jr. led a methodical drive downfield which ended in a 10 yard TD pass to Howlett. Burton's extra point attempt was good. Burton then had to wait until the fourth quarter to try to score points again, his chance came on a 19 yard attempt. Burton successfully kicked the chip shot field goal, and that was all of his chances to score points. He punted 5 times for 237 yards.
It looked like Tijuana would finally turn their offense around in week 14, scoring a touchdown off of their first drive of the game. Burton's extra point attempt was good. But it turned out to be a mirage caused by heat stroke. Neither offense would score any more points, or do much on offense until late in the third quarter where Burton attempted a 44 yard field goal. His kick was no good as it was wide right. Just 2 minutes later after an interception Burton attempted another field goal, this time from 41 yards out. Burton's kick this time was good. Having already missed from 44, but wanted points to extend their lead Tijuana let Burton attempt a 45 yard field goal, I don't know if he was running out of steam at the end of the season, but he missed this one as well, wide left.
In a rematch from last week in the first round of playoffs both offenses decided to show up instead of staying at the hotel. Early in the second quarter Tijuana scored their first touchdown of the game, Burton's extra point try was good. With 8 seconds left in the second quarter Tijuana attempted a 20 yard field goal, Burton not wanting to miss like he did last week, made this field goal. Burton's final kick of the season came off of a 1 yard run by RB Bronko Mills. Burton's final kick, which was an extra point attempt split the uprights, and scored another point for Tijuana.
Norfolk Seawolves
Melvin Murder-Moose
Week 9: 0/0 Extra points, 4/4 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 1/1 30-39 yards, 2/2 40-49 yards)
Week 10: 4/4 Extra points, 0/0 Field goals
Week 11: 1/1 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 40-49 yards)
Week 12: 1/1 Extra points, 3/3 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 2/2 30-39 yards)
Week 13: 0/0 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards)
Week 14: 0/0 Extra points, 1/2 Field goals (1/1 20-29 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
Playoffs round 1: 2/2 Extra points, 2/3 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards, 1/2 40-49 yards)
Ultimini: 2/2 Extra points, 1/1 Field goals (1/1 30-39 yards)
Total: 10/10 Extra points, 13/15 Field goals (4/4 20-29 yards, 5/5 30-39 yards, 4/5 40-49 yards, 0/1 50+ yards)
After a lengthy first drive in week 9 Norfolk stalled out at the Minnesota 7 yard line, instead of going for it on 4th and 5 they decided to kick the field goal. Murder-Moose lined up for a 24 yard field goal attempt. Murder-Moose's kick was good. Late in the first quarter Norfolk was unable to convert on 3rd down, but once again were in field goal range. This time it would be a longer try, a 42 yard field goal attempt for Murder-Moose. With the force Murder-Moose kicked the ball you would think they were trying to murder the ball, Murder-Moose's kick nearly broke the net behind the uprights. The kick was also good, scoring three points for Norfolk. Early in the second quarter Norfolk called on Murder-Moose to attempt a third field goal, a 41 yard attempt this time. Murder-Moose's kick was right down the middle. Halfway through the third quarter Murder-Moose attempted their final kick of the game, a 39 yard attempt. Murder-Moose remained perfect on the game successfully scoring this kick, going 4/4 on the game.
After scoring no touchdowns in week 9 Norfolk wanted to change that in week 10. Late in the first quarter after a methodical drive downfield Norfolk QB Ramza found Matthews in the end zone for a 7 yard TD pass. Murder-Moose's extra point attempt was good. Early in the second quarter Norfolk scored another touchdown. Murder-Moose's second extra point attempt was again successful. Late in the 4th quarter Norfolk scored their third touchdown of the game. Murder-Moose remained automatic, successfully kicking their third extra point of the game. As time ran out Norfolk scored their fourth touchdown of the game, Murder-Moose's fourth extra point attempt was successful once again as they did not miss a single extra point attempt.
In week 11 Norfolk scored the first points of the game off of a 10 yard run by Ramza. Murder-Moose's extra point try was good. After that there wasn't much offense by Norfolk. With 12 seconds remaining in the second quarter Murder-Moose lined up for a 42 yard field goal attempt. Their kick went through the uprights, scoring three points for Norfolk. Norfolk was unable to move the ball much after that, at one point finding themselves on 2nd and 35. What resulted was an ugly game of football where neither team could do anything.
After not doing much on offense last week Norfolk were determined to do something early, scoring a touchdown after a nine minute drive on offense. Murder-Moose's extra point attempt was good. Late in the second quarter Norfolk drove deep into Kansas City territory, ultimately being stopped on the 6 yard line, and attempting a 23 yard field goal. Murder-Moose successfully kicked the chip shot. Early in the fourth quarter Norfolk found themselves in the red zone after picking up one yard on a 2nd and 2. A tackle for loss on the next play took them out of the red zone and and Norfolk decided to go for the field goal. Murder-Moose attempted a 38 yard field goal, Murder-Moose had not missed a kick once in the last 3 weeks so why start now? Murder-Moose drilled the ball through the uprights scoring three points for Norfolk. Late in the fourth quarter Norfolk got into the red zone again, but this time actually managed to stay there. But instead of scoring a touchdown, they attempted a 31 yard field goal with 4:05 left on the clock. Murder-Moose's perfect kicking streak remained intact as they once again did not miss a single kick.
In week 13 Norfolk's offense was shut down by London's defense. Norfolk's lone points came off of their first drive, it ended on the London 8 yard line. That would be the furthest Norfolk ever got into London territory that game. Murder-Moose walked onto the field to attempt a 25 yard field goal. Their kick was good, and scored Norfolk's only points that game. The rest of what Murder-Moose did that game was punt the ball 8 times for 368 yards.
After failing to do anything on offense last week Norfolk wanted to carry some momentum going into playoffs. They didn't. After a drive stalled out on the Tijuana 35 yard line, Norfolk called on Murder-Moose to try a 52 yard field goal. Murder-Moose's kick was accurate, but it was short and bounced off the crossbar. Norfolk was unable to move the ball again until early in the second quarter where they found themselves inside the Tijuana 10. Norfolk's drive stalled out and they found themselves looking at 4th and 7. Norfolk allowed Murder-Moose to try a 25 yard field goal. Murder-Moose's kick was right down the middle, and scored Norfolk's only points of the game going into playoffs. Things would need to change as this would be the opponent they face in the first round of playoffs.
In the first round of playoffs carrying no momentum on the offensive side of the ball Norfolk turned things around quickly scoring a touchdown late in the first quarter, something they hadn't done since before week 13. Murder-Moose's extra point try was successful. With 5 minutes remaining in the second quarter Norfolk let Murder-Moose attempt a 46 yard field goal. The kick was blocked by Tijuana. Late in the third quarter Norfolk RB Captain Rogers ripped off a 56 yard run that left Norfolk on Tijuana's 3 yard line. One play later and Norfolk punches the ball in for a touchdown. Murder-Moose's extra point attempt was good. Early in the fourth quarter Tijuana found themselves facing 3rd and 21, Ramza found Fank for a 19 yard completion to get them in field goal range. Murder-Moose drilled a 35 yard field goal for three points to tie the game. This game went into overtime, but it went deep into overtime. With 58 seconds on the clock Murder-Moose walks onto the field to try a 43 yard field goal attempt. If Murder-Moose hits this field goal, Norfolk is going to the Ultimini. Murder-Moose's kick was not blocked this time. The ball left their foot, it rocketed towards the uprights, and just snuck in, inches from the left upright. Norfolk is headed to the Ultimini.
Norfolk jumped out to an early lead in the Ultimini, scoring the first points late in the first quarter off of a 5 minute drive that ended on the London 22. Murder-Moose walked onto the field with the possibility of scoring the first points of the game. Murder-Moose lined up for a 39 yard field goal attempt. Their kick was right down the middle, scoring three points for Norfolk. Early in the second quarter Norfolk scored a touchdown off of a 4 yard run by Captain Rogers. Murder-Moose attempted the extra point, and successfully scored it. With 5 minutes remaining in the third quarter Norfolk was down by 4, they scored off of another 4 yard run by Captain Rogers. Murder-Moose lined up for the extra point to score the final points Norfolk would put up in the Ultimini to get a 3 point lead. Murder-Moose would not get another chance to score points this season as the London defense held Norfolk on their own side of the field for the remainder of the game.
Part 2 coming tomorrow hopefully
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