As of late, I’ve noticed myself becoming more and more distant from the happenings of the DSFL and the ISFL in general. I’ve also noticed the value in my bank account becoming more and more distant from the value I would like for it to be at. Coincidentally, these two issues can be fixed by me writing a couple media articles, and seeing as 1.5 draft media is currently underway, that's what I plan to do.
In this piece, I’ll be going over Sarasota’s draft (who we picked up, how were they in the DSFL and how do I think they will be able to contribute to the team in the future), as well as going over who was drafted out of Kansas City, my DSFL team from back in the day. I vowed to write something similar following the draft each year earlier in my career as a way of keeping up with the Coyotes, but the tradition came to an end a couple seasons after it began. I can feel myself rambling, so let's get into the picks!
Sarasota Draft:
Pick #1: Stumpy Jones - OL - Portland
With their first pick in the draft, Sarasota bolstered the O-line. You would be hard-pressed to find a better prospect than Stumpy at his position. He entered the draft with a nice sum of 252 TPE, and is just coming off a fantastic season with the Pythons. He led the DSFL in pancakes with 67 and let up only 1 sack on the year, all while helping propel Portland to the number 1 seed in the North with a record of 11-3. Although Portland didn’t end up winning the Ultimini last season, Stumpy’s contributions can not be understated. On his new team, I expect Stumpy to grow into one of the league’s premiere linemen. Sarasota definitely lacks depth at the position and have already made the decision to bring Stumpy up to play immediately for them. I predict he will eclipse 330 TPE by the time the season gets going, which is, I’m assuming, pretty much the max TPE possible for a player created when Stumpy was. It might be rough at first, but I’d imagine as Stumpy gets that TPE up, he will become one of Mike Boss Jr.’s best protectors. As for locker room contributions, Stumpy has already made himself known in the locker room and I anticipate he will be active within the server for quite a while. On the money front, Stumpy has a decent stockpile going with about 3.5 million in the bank at the time of writing this. I believe he will up that number to the 13.5 million necessary for equipment, but there is plenty of time left in the season to get that done.
Pick #2: Kelvin Harris - S - Norfolk
With their second of three total picks the Sailfish went ahead and took Kelvin Harris. In light of Jamie Nikiah’s retirement, the Sailfish are obviously looking to pick up quality young players who will be fully capable of taking up starting roles in the secondary going forward. They did just that with this pick, as they secured the fourth highest TPE safety of the class. Harris currently sits at 252 TPE and that number is bound to rise as Harris continues earning at such a phenomenal pace. It has been decided that Harris will sent back down to Norfolk to play out the S28 season, but given how thin the Sailfish are at both CB (played by Harrison Andrews and Peter Patterson, two fantastic earners and users) and S (up and comer Teddy Utterstruzen will be looking to lock this position down) I’d imagine Harris won’t spend more than a season back in Norfolk. In his first DSFL season, Harris was electric: he recorded 51 tackles, 3 forced fumbles, 1 fumble recovery, 4 sacks, 3 interceptions and 7 total passes defended. Harris was able to prove his ability to play all over the field last season, and I hope he will continue doing so in the ISFL at some point. In the locker room, Harris has made his presence felt and I hope he sticks around for many seasons to come. Harris is currently sitting on around $2.5 million which isn’t enough to purchase equipment or pay for a season’s worth of training (not like I can say anything), but again, there is plenty of time left to get that done.
Pick #3: Saleem Spence - WR - Portland
With their third pick in the draft, the Sailfish happened upon the steal of the draft. Saleem Spence had absolutely no business being on the board this late. For one, he is the top earner in the class; not top 10, not top earner at his position, quite literally the top earner of the class. That alone should warrant a first round selection. But (!), Saleem also boasts a bank account of $42.5 million, an amount I can only dream of reaching one day. That is not all, as Saleem is also very active on the forums and in discord! Overall just a great pick by Sarasota here. They aren’t necessarily very thin at WR with Michael Witheblock and Tre’Darius J’Vathon both providing ample ability to wreak havoc on opposing defenses, but it never hurts to pick up a young stud for the future, especially since regression is fast approaching for Witheblock in particular. Last season with the Pythons, Spence was a key contributor on offense with 1241 yards and 6 receiving touchdowns. He and Quavious McGrady made quite the duo and I look forward to seeing how Spence will dominate alongside J’Vathon and Witheblock in the future.
Overall Sarasota had a quiet but very productive draft. With only three picks, one might think Sarasota failed to secure ample young talent for the future, but sakro and Frost have done a tremendous job at bringing in players through a variety of different methods (theres a reason they won GMoTY). This draft sets the Sailfish up for what might be another historic season without having to gamble their future away in the process. I look forward to seeing what these rookies will be able to accomplish in the coming seasons!
Now I’ll be going over the draft from the perspective of the Coyotes! For some context, the Coyotes ended last season with a record of 7-7, good for second in the North. They beat out the Pythons in the playoffs but unfortunately fell just short in the Ultimini as they were shut out in the second half of the game.
The Coyotes had a total of 7 players taken in the S28 draft, with 5 (!) of them being taken in the first round. The highest number of players taken from any team was 10, with both the Greyducks and Pythons achieving this feat. However, the Coyotes easily had the most top heavy draft of any team, which signifies the fact that they will likely regress somewhat next season. Obviously this depends heavily on whether the players drafted have been called up, so I will include this information (depending on if I can find it) and will be making assumptions and predictions at the end of the article.
Kansas City Players Drafted:
Pick #1: Luke Quick - WR - Baltimore
The first pick of the draft happened to be a Coyote. Luke Quick currently sits at 325 TPE which is about as close to the max possible TPE you can accrue at this point in your career as possible. Bigred is also a very well-known user in the community and their history of consistency virtually guarantees that Quick will be around for many seasons to come. It is also virtually guaranteed that Quick will be a max earner for their entire career, as I am sure that Bigred’s $340 million bank account will be just about enough to purchase equipment and training regularly. As a player in the DSFL, Quick racked up 67 catches, good for 1127 yards and 6 touchdowns. A productive player is likely just a fraction of the reasoning behind this pick, as Bigred’s locker room presence will prove vital for a team coming off a 0-16 season. I am also assuming Bigred will become a valuable member of the Baltimore war room, although I don’t know much about the simtesting, war room side of the league so I can’t speak too much in that regard. Furthermore, Baltimore was in dire need of wide receiver help heading into the draft, with the only WR (who was present prior to the draft being held) on the team being Mario Messi out of S26 with 601 TPE. Overall, Quick was the obvious choice here for Baltimore at #1 OA as he has no downside and will likely become a cornerstone for the franchise moving forward.
Pick #2: Busch Goose - RB - Baltimore:
With their second pick and also the second pick the Baltimore Hawks selected Busch Goose, RB out of Kansas City! Busch is one of the few DSFL prospects I was actually aware of prior to the draft taking place, largely due to his incessant honking on twitter. Not sure how that doesn’t break the rules, maybe the Twitter graders speak goose too? Question for any Baltimore people: is it only honks in the LR or does Busch speak some english as well? It’s been keeping me up at night I need to know. Enough blabbering, Busch is a great prospect and another phenomenal pick for the Hawks. He gives Baltimore a very bright future at the RB position but is even more valuable given the long history of Infinite in the league. There is no need for me to go on about bank account balance or locker room presence for a guy like Infinite. This pick also fills a need for the Hawks, as their only other RB is Preston Parker out of the S27 class with 429 TPE. Another easy pick here from the Hawks who can only consider themselves lucky to find themselves in the position to obtain two of the best users in the league.
Pick #3: Troy Abed - QB - Berlin:
One of the best names in the draft hands down. I guess it is never too early to start worrying about the future, something Berlin took into consideration with this pick. With Nick Kaepercolin in place and only headed to regression following S28, Berlin is ensuring they will have a high TPE QB to bring in as soon as Nick either retires or regresses too much. Good plan, but can’t help feel as though Troy Abed might be stuck down in KCC for at least a few more seasons. Perhaps this pick is meant to bolster the Salamander’s war room? Again, I have no idea what happens on the war room front but that seems plausible. Either way Troy Abed is definitely a great pickup here for the Fire Salamanders. He’s very active on twitter and I can only assume that level of activity is present on the forums and in discord as well. Troy Abed has a solid 282 TPE to their name which is not crazy high but is definitely well above average for a prospect at this time in their career. Add an extra 30 for equipment and Troy Abed will be near the top of the pack in terms of TPE. Troy (I feel weird using only one name but whatever) has some work to do on the bank account front, but that’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a couple pieces of media. Overall an interesting pick here for the Salamanders and I look forward to seeing what comes of Abed’s career in the future.
Pick #4: Dexter Hall - LB - Chicago:
Seems like ISFL teams like picking KCC players in pairs of two. Here the Butchers get a great young LB prospect on their squad. Hall is currently sitting at 311 TPE, good for second most among S28 LBs. He was sent back down to KCC which makes sense given the Butchers’ current situation. They’ve currently got a stud in Juan Domine (1066 TPE) as well as two other 750+ TPE guys at the position in Alejandro Chainbreaker and Wasrabi Gleel. They have no current need for linebacker but having a great young guy at any position is nothing but beneficial. Hall has also built up a very nice store of cash with around $27 million saved and having already purchased equipment for the S28 season, he is in a great situation to build up reserves for the future. As for what Chicago can expect from Hall once he is called up, we were given a very promising glimpse last season. Hall racked up 79 tackles, 12 tackles for loss, 2 sacks, 2 interceptions and 7 passes defended. Hall showed he can do a little bit of everything but of course we haven’t yet seen how he competes against much tougher ISFL opposition. Overall a really great pick here from Chicago (I may be a little biased towards linebackers) and a situation in which they took the best player available for their needs.
Pick #5: Professor Godfrey Gravity - DT - Hahalua:
I love this pick: the name is fantastic, I love me some defensive tackles and of course I always have to show some support for my fish bros. It also doesn’t hurt that Godfrey is shaping up to be an absolute stud. He currently sits at 306 TPE, good for most among all DTs in the S28 class. Godfrey is also in a great position when it comes to his bank account, as he hasn’t purchased equipment yet but does have almost enough for it at this point. Add that extra 30 TPE under his name and he instantly becomes a top 10 TPE player in the class. Like most of the players I’ve looked at, Godfrey was also sent back down to the DSFL to play with the Coyotes once more. I am positive they do not mind given his fantastic performance this past season. He had 76 tackles, most among DTs, 14 tackles for loss, most among DTs, and 7 sacks, second most among DTs. I look forward to keeping a close eye on Gravity as he continues his career into the ISFL and I can’t wait to share a DToTY awards ballot with him at some point.
Pick #6: Siege Cameron - CB - Austin:
Finally out of the first round! Incredible what the Coyotes were able to do as they managed to develop so many top prospects in this draft. Although Cameron’s measurables aren’t as flashy as some of the other guys I just got done covering, we’ve seen with Saleem Spence that there can be some quality steals in the third round. With 206 TPE, Cameron isn’t far behind the pack in terms of earning and provided he continues updating, I would expect him to be a great quality player in the future. He did update on 3/20 (most recent Sunday as of writing this) which is a very good sign. Things aren’t looking too promising on the bank account front but as I have reiterated time and time again, that can be fixed with just a couple thousand words. In terms of on-field contributions, there were few better cornerbacks last season in the DSFL. Cameron made 58 tackles, 1 tackle for loss, 1 forced fumble, 1 fumble recovery, 5 interceptions and a whopping 31 passes defended. Those stats were definitely a major factor in Austin’s decision, as it has been obvious that some players (cough cough Edd cough) have been able to dominate with seemingly low TPE values. Overall, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Cameron become a great player for the Copperheads someday, and I look forward to seeing what he is able to accomplish.
Pick #7: Bjorn Borg - OL - Berlin:
Not too much to say here. Borg is currently sitting at 65 TPE and hasn’t updated since January 23rd. Maybe Borg decides to rejoin the league at some point, at which point he could hopefully become a great addition to the Berlin o-line, but I won’t hold my breath.
Overall, the Coyotes definitely lost quite a few quality players to this draft. However, most of them were sent back down so I expect them to continue making contributions on the field. As a result, I anticipate the Coyotes returning to the playoffs once again, hopefully this time to bring an Ultimini back to KC!
And that wraps it up! Ten players total analyzed here, and I’ve got to say there were quite a few great ones. Round of applause to anyone who decided to read this to the end as even I found myself dozing off at times. I hope to restart this tradition as I think it is a really great way for me to stay in tune with what is happening back in KC and it gives me a bit of an idea as to who I should look out for in the ISFL. Again, thanks for reading and graders, could you please give me some of that juicy 1.5x media?
In this piece, I’ll be going over Sarasota’s draft (who we picked up, how were they in the DSFL and how do I think they will be able to contribute to the team in the future), as well as going over who was drafted out of Kansas City, my DSFL team from back in the day. I vowed to write something similar following the draft each year earlier in my career as a way of keeping up with the Coyotes, but the tradition came to an end a couple seasons after it began. I can feel myself rambling, so let's get into the picks!
Sarasota Draft:
Pick #1: Stumpy Jones - OL - Portland
With their first pick in the draft, Sarasota bolstered the O-line. You would be hard-pressed to find a better prospect than Stumpy at his position. He entered the draft with a nice sum of 252 TPE, and is just coming off a fantastic season with the Pythons. He led the DSFL in pancakes with 67 and let up only 1 sack on the year, all while helping propel Portland to the number 1 seed in the North with a record of 11-3. Although Portland didn’t end up winning the Ultimini last season, Stumpy’s contributions can not be understated. On his new team, I expect Stumpy to grow into one of the league’s premiere linemen. Sarasota definitely lacks depth at the position and have already made the decision to bring Stumpy up to play immediately for them. I predict he will eclipse 330 TPE by the time the season gets going, which is, I’m assuming, pretty much the max TPE possible for a player created when Stumpy was. It might be rough at first, but I’d imagine as Stumpy gets that TPE up, he will become one of Mike Boss Jr.’s best protectors. As for locker room contributions, Stumpy has already made himself known in the locker room and I anticipate he will be active within the server for quite a while. On the money front, Stumpy has a decent stockpile going with about 3.5 million in the bank at the time of writing this. I believe he will up that number to the 13.5 million necessary for equipment, but there is plenty of time left in the season to get that done.
Pick #2: Kelvin Harris - S - Norfolk
With their second of three total picks the Sailfish went ahead and took Kelvin Harris. In light of Jamie Nikiah’s retirement, the Sailfish are obviously looking to pick up quality young players who will be fully capable of taking up starting roles in the secondary going forward. They did just that with this pick, as they secured the fourth highest TPE safety of the class. Harris currently sits at 252 TPE and that number is bound to rise as Harris continues earning at such a phenomenal pace. It has been decided that Harris will sent back down to Norfolk to play out the S28 season, but given how thin the Sailfish are at both CB (played by Harrison Andrews and Peter Patterson, two fantastic earners and users) and S (up and comer Teddy Utterstruzen will be looking to lock this position down) I’d imagine Harris won’t spend more than a season back in Norfolk. In his first DSFL season, Harris was electric: he recorded 51 tackles, 3 forced fumbles, 1 fumble recovery, 4 sacks, 3 interceptions and 7 total passes defended. Harris was able to prove his ability to play all over the field last season, and I hope he will continue doing so in the ISFL at some point. In the locker room, Harris has made his presence felt and I hope he sticks around for many seasons to come. Harris is currently sitting on around $2.5 million which isn’t enough to purchase equipment or pay for a season’s worth of training (not like I can say anything), but again, there is plenty of time left to get that done.
Pick #3: Saleem Spence - WR - Portland
With their third pick in the draft, the Sailfish happened upon the steal of the draft. Saleem Spence had absolutely no business being on the board this late. For one, he is the top earner in the class; not top 10, not top earner at his position, quite literally the top earner of the class. That alone should warrant a first round selection. But (!), Saleem also boasts a bank account of $42.5 million, an amount I can only dream of reaching one day. That is not all, as Saleem is also very active on the forums and in discord! Overall just a great pick by Sarasota here. They aren’t necessarily very thin at WR with Michael Witheblock and Tre’Darius J’Vathon both providing ample ability to wreak havoc on opposing defenses, but it never hurts to pick up a young stud for the future, especially since regression is fast approaching for Witheblock in particular. Last season with the Pythons, Spence was a key contributor on offense with 1241 yards and 6 receiving touchdowns. He and Quavious McGrady made quite the duo and I look forward to seeing how Spence will dominate alongside J’Vathon and Witheblock in the future.
Overall Sarasota had a quiet but very productive draft. With only three picks, one might think Sarasota failed to secure ample young talent for the future, but sakro and Frost have done a tremendous job at bringing in players through a variety of different methods (theres a reason they won GMoTY). This draft sets the Sailfish up for what might be another historic season without having to gamble their future away in the process. I look forward to seeing what these rookies will be able to accomplish in the coming seasons!
Now I’ll be going over the draft from the perspective of the Coyotes! For some context, the Coyotes ended last season with a record of 7-7, good for second in the North. They beat out the Pythons in the playoffs but unfortunately fell just short in the Ultimini as they were shut out in the second half of the game.
The Coyotes had a total of 7 players taken in the S28 draft, with 5 (!) of them being taken in the first round. The highest number of players taken from any team was 10, with both the Greyducks and Pythons achieving this feat. However, the Coyotes easily had the most top heavy draft of any team, which signifies the fact that they will likely regress somewhat next season. Obviously this depends heavily on whether the players drafted have been called up, so I will include this information (depending on if I can find it) and will be making assumptions and predictions at the end of the article.
Kansas City Players Drafted:
Pick #1: Luke Quick - WR - Baltimore
The first pick of the draft happened to be a Coyote. Luke Quick currently sits at 325 TPE which is about as close to the max possible TPE you can accrue at this point in your career as possible. Bigred is also a very well-known user in the community and their history of consistency virtually guarantees that Quick will be around for many seasons to come. It is also virtually guaranteed that Quick will be a max earner for their entire career, as I am sure that Bigred’s $340 million bank account will be just about enough to purchase equipment and training regularly. As a player in the DSFL, Quick racked up 67 catches, good for 1127 yards and 6 touchdowns. A productive player is likely just a fraction of the reasoning behind this pick, as Bigred’s locker room presence will prove vital for a team coming off a 0-16 season. I am also assuming Bigred will become a valuable member of the Baltimore war room, although I don’t know much about the simtesting, war room side of the league so I can’t speak too much in that regard. Furthermore, Baltimore was in dire need of wide receiver help heading into the draft, with the only WR (who was present prior to the draft being held) on the team being Mario Messi out of S26 with 601 TPE. Overall, Quick was the obvious choice here for Baltimore at #1 OA as he has no downside and will likely become a cornerstone for the franchise moving forward.
Pick #2: Busch Goose - RB - Baltimore:
With their second pick and also the second pick the Baltimore Hawks selected Busch Goose, RB out of Kansas City! Busch is one of the few DSFL prospects I was actually aware of prior to the draft taking place, largely due to his incessant honking on twitter. Not sure how that doesn’t break the rules, maybe the Twitter graders speak goose too? Question for any Baltimore people: is it only honks in the LR or does Busch speak some english as well? It’s been keeping me up at night I need to know. Enough blabbering, Busch is a great prospect and another phenomenal pick for the Hawks. He gives Baltimore a very bright future at the RB position but is even more valuable given the long history of Infinite in the league. There is no need for me to go on about bank account balance or locker room presence for a guy like Infinite. This pick also fills a need for the Hawks, as their only other RB is Preston Parker out of the S27 class with 429 TPE. Another easy pick here from the Hawks who can only consider themselves lucky to find themselves in the position to obtain two of the best users in the league.
Pick #3: Troy Abed - QB - Berlin:
One of the best names in the draft hands down. I guess it is never too early to start worrying about the future, something Berlin took into consideration with this pick. With Nick Kaepercolin in place and only headed to regression following S28, Berlin is ensuring they will have a high TPE QB to bring in as soon as Nick either retires or regresses too much. Good plan, but can’t help feel as though Troy Abed might be stuck down in KCC for at least a few more seasons. Perhaps this pick is meant to bolster the Salamander’s war room? Again, I have no idea what happens on the war room front but that seems plausible. Either way Troy Abed is definitely a great pickup here for the Fire Salamanders. He’s very active on twitter and I can only assume that level of activity is present on the forums and in discord as well. Troy Abed has a solid 282 TPE to their name which is not crazy high but is definitely well above average for a prospect at this time in their career. Add an extra 30 for equipment and Troy Abed will be near the top of the pack in terms of TPE. Troy (I feel weird using only one name but whatever) has some work to do on the bank account front, but that’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a couple pieces of media. Overall an interesting pick here for the Salamanders and I look forward to seeing what comes of Abed’s career in the future.
Pick #4: Dexter Hall - LB - Chicago:
Seems like ISFL teams like picking KCC players in pairs of two. Here the Butchers get a great young LB prospect on their squad. Hall is currently sitting at 311 TPE, good for second most among S28 LBs. He was sent back down to KCC which makes sense given the Butchers’ current situation. They’ve currently got a stud in Juan Domine (1066 TPE) as well as two other 750+ TPE guys at the position in Alejandro Chainbreaker and Wasrabi Gleel. They have no current need for linebacker but having a great young guy at any position is nothing but beneficial. Hall has also built up a very nice store of cash with around $27 million saved and having already purchased equipment for the S28 season, he is in a great situation to build up reserves for the future. As for what Chicago can expect from Hall once he is called up, we were given a very promising glimpse last season. Hall racked up 79 tackles, 12 tackles for loss, 2 sacks, 2 interceptions and 7 passes defended. Hall showed he can do a little bit of everything but of course we haven’t yet seen how he competes against much tougher ISFL opposition. Overall a really great pick here from Chicago (I may be a little biased towards linebackers) and a situation in which they took the best player available for their needs.
Pick #5: Professor Godfrey Gravity - DT - Hahalua:
I love this pick: the name is fantastic, I love me some defensive tackles and of course I always have to show some support for my fish bros. It also doesn’t hurt that Godfrey is shaping up to be an absolute stud. He currently sits at 306 TPE, good for most among all DTs in the S28 class. Godfrey is also in a great position when it comes to his bank account, as he hasn’t purchased equipment yet but does have almost enough for it at this point. Add that extra 30 TPE under his name and he instantly becomes a top 10 TPE player in the class. Like most of the players I’ve looked at, Godfrey was also sent back down to the DSFL to play with the Coyotes once more. I am positive they do not mind given his fantastic performance this past season. He had 76 tackles, most among DTs, 14 tackles for loss, most among DTs, and 7 sacks, second most among DTs. I look forward to keeping a close eye on Gravity as he continues his career into the ISFL and I can’t wait to share a DToTY awards ballot with him at some point.
Pick #6: Siege Cameron - CB - Austin:
Finally out of the first round! Incredible what the Coyotes were able to do as they managed to develop so many top prospects in this draft. Although Cameron’s measurables aren’t as flashy as some of the other guys I just got done covering, we’ve seen with Saleem Spence that there can be some quality steals in the third round. With 206 TPE, Cameron isn’t far behind the pack in terms of earning and provided he continues updating, I would expect him to be a great quality player in the future. He did update on 3/20 (most recent Sunday as of writing this) which is a very good sign. Things aren’t looking too promising on the bank account front but as I have reiterated time and time again, that can be fixed with just a couple thousand words. In terms of on-field contributions, there were few better cornerbacks last season in the DSFL. Cameron made 58 tackles, 1 tackle for loss, 1 forced fumble, 1 fumble recovery, 5 interceptions and a whopping 31 passes defended. Those stats were definitely a major factor in Austin’s decision, as it has been obvious that some players (cough cough Edd cough) have been able to dominate with seemingly low TPE values. Overall, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Cameron become a great player for the Copperheads someday, and I look forward to seeing what he is able to accomplish.
Pick #7: Bjorn Borg - OL - Berlin:
Not too much to say here. Borg is currently sitting at 65 TPE and hasn’t updated since January 23rd. Maybe Borg decides to rejoin the league at some point, at which point he could hopefully become a great addition to the Berlin o-line, but I won’t hold my breath.
Overall, the Coyotes definitely lost quite a few quality players to this draft. However, most of them were sent back down so I expect them to continue making contributions on the field. As a result, I anticipate the Coyotes returning to the playoffs once again, hopefully this time to bring an Ultimini back to KC!
And that wraps it up! Ten players total analyzed here, and I’ve got to say there were quite a few great ones. Round of applause to anyone who decided to read this to the end as even I found myself dozing off at times. I hope to restart this tradition as I think it is a really great way for me to stay in tune with what is happening back in KC and it gives me a bit of an idea as to who I should look out for in the ISFL. Again, thanks for reading and graders, could you please give me some of that juicy 1.5x media?
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