11-03-2021, 11:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-10-2021, 08:03 PM by allbetsonjames. Edited 1 time in total.)
Breaking News from TMC: Juno Hu has left New Orleans on a private jet headed towards Austin, Texas.
Don't hang your heads Copperhead fans! Sure, you've just experienced an extremely disappointing early exit in the playoffs despite being one of the favorites to win it all, but the Copperheads still seem able to continue their all-in championship run for another year.
Juno Hu was spotted boarding a private jet owned by Fred Tassow, the General Manager of the Austin Copperheads, in Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport. After the jet landed in Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, Hu was transported via a police-escorted procession to the Austin Copperheads facility. After a little more than 4 hours of deliberation, Hu was seen exiting the building in a teal and brown satin robe alongside two unidentified women, after which he was transported via a limousine to a penthouse in downtown Austin. We followed closely and tried to get an interview with Hu, but were rudely denied by his security detail. Here is the video clip of our encounter:
VIDEO NOTES: Unfortunately we are experiencing an outage with our video CDN and player. Temporarily, we are only able to provide you with the video transcript below. We promise that our engineers are doing their best to resolve it and totally not ignoring the issue.
Reporter and cameraman is running towards Juno Hu and his associates.
Reporter: Hey, Juno! Juno Hu! C-can we get a few minutes of your time, sir??
Bodyguard: Back off, lady! This is as far as you go!
Reporter: We are press, Karen C. Zucker of TMC, just looking for an interview!
Bodyguard: We know who you are. Hu ain't got time for an interview right now, feel?
Reporter: We just want one minu--please! Just one min---sir! We have a right to be here! It's a free countr---!
The video abruptly cuts out.
We've dealt with our fair share of rude security details, but we still feel that this was a bit unnecessary and over the line. We simply wanted to speak to Juno regarding his upcoming season. Fortunately, Drew Callagan of Channel 69 News was able to get an interview with the cornerback on the very next day, which we will shamelessly plug here for you to watch, below:
VIDEO NOTES: Unfortunately we are experiencing an outage with our video CDN and player. Temporarily, we are only able to provide you with the video transcript below. We promise that our engineers are doing their best to resolve it and totally not ignoring the issue.
Drew: Hey Juno, how's it goin'? Drew Callagan with Channel 69 News.
Juno: Oh dang, it's Drew Callagan, what are you doin' out here? Got your whole setup with you. You wanna interview me or what?
Drew: Was here to get some coverage on the Viva la Vida festival, and caught wind that you had arrived in Austin. We were indeed looking to interview you, my man. Didn't think I'd be able to catch you but as luck would have it, here we are.
Juno: Ayy. I just saw your video on the Children of God cult the other day. Crazy how you're able to get into these people and get them to talk. Those crazy [bleep], can't believe they still exist. It's crazy.
Drew: Yeah, I guess I got a little magic or somethin'. Gotta tell you though, unfortunately, my channel was hit with some content strikes from both my platform and the FCC, so if you could help me out and refrain from using profanity, and keep the topic choice as PG as you can, for the families out there, at least while we're on camera, that'd be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, they'll demonetize me, at best, you know? I mean, if you still wanna say whatever you want, then unfortunately I won't be able to put any of that out there.
Juno: Aw dude, sucks. Big brother winnin' again. Well you know what, Drew? For you, I will do that. And we can chat off camera, of course.
Drew: Oh hell yea, brother, cheers. So, got any insider scoop for us? You signing with the Austin Copperheads or what? That's what everyone's saying.
Juno: Yeah, we in the process of finalizing. Right now, just ironing out the details, you know, crossin' the t's, dottin' the i's, all that. The contract details should be out soon if not already.
Drew: They gotta be shellin' out for you, right? I mean, star cornerback, prime of your career.
Juno: S[bleep]--err I mean, shoot, it's an alright deal I guess. Still feel like the ISFL salary cap is trash, you know? The league owners are always working to keep us broke. It's not right if I'm bein' honest. We put our bodies and our brains on the line, man. And the owners of the league get away with so much. The split is like 80/20 in favor of the owners, it really ain't right.
Drew: Yeah, it seems like the ISFLPA isn't doin' anywhere near enough.
Juno: Definitely not, but ay, I ain't about to run that myself. It's a lotta work,can't be bothered, so I guess this where we at with things and I'll just have to accept it. Hopefully someone with more conviction than me cares one day.
Drew: Definitely would do you guys good. You get a chance to meet your new teammates yet?
Juno: Oh yeah, got a nice welcoming haze, as you do. Got to meet Bowie, old Tijuana legend. He gave me a lot of good advice when I was first gettin' into this league, so, got a lot of thanks to give him. Dude's growin' some grey hairs though, so his job is pretty much mine! Montain a graybeard, too. Bunch of old folks on this team, especially that fossil, Egghands. I can see why they called me pretty much immediately after the season ended. Took me a while to get here, 'cause I had to spend some time sayin' my goodbyes in New Orleans, ya know? Couldn't do it all in one day, or even a week, but I'm here now. Got to meet Zoe Watts, she's uhh, pretty cool, dope. I'm, uhh, not really gonna say too much else about her on camera. See a few other familiar faces here, Jean-Jacques Leroy, and some other fellow S28 heads, Cowabunga, O'Leary, Cameron, Chathack'rius. Better show up in practice, Bayley! You can't get open on me! But yeah, the team as a whole has given me a great welcome, and I'm real happy to be here.
Drew: That's good to hear. Were you not happy to be in New Orleans or San Jose?
Juno: Honestly, every team I've been on has treated me really well. I can't say anything bad about them at all. The location is actually what plays the biggest part. I'm from SoCal, you know? So NorCal, San Jose? Wasn't for me. Too cloudy. Too cold. Too depressing. New Orleans? Soon to be underwater. Can't be buyin' any property there. Great city, otherwise, but not a fan of the rainstorms and hurricanes. And here? Well, it's Texas, unfortunately.
Drew: What's wrong with Texas?
Juno: Don't act dumb. You already know! It's almost 2050 and women still can't get a legal abortion in this state. Their power grid still failin' every winter. An absolute failed state if you ask me. Politics here's a joke. Disgraceful traitors in office. Luckily I'm rich, so, ain't too bad for me personally, but I'm a man of the people, you know? Well, I try to be.
Drew: Yeah, I get that, and respect that. It's probably why you still have fans despite your past history.
Juno: What's that supposed to mean?
Drew: Never mind.
Juno: I still got my Whataburger out here, though. One of the best perks--maybe the only perk of living in the south. Bruh, they brought back the Monterey Melt! That's my jam!
Drew: Nice, Whataburger does smack, I agree. I'm a fan of the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit, myself.
Juno: That one's aiite. You try the Mushroom Swiss yet? Pretty good, but still can't beat the Melt.
Drew: I have not. Will have to try and grab one before leaving. Well Juno, I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. Anything else you wanna say to the fans?
Juno: Ayy, wussup Austin! You know who this is. I'ma turn in a season for you, just you wait. To all opposing quarterbacks, I dare you to throw my way!! By the way, Whataburger, if you hearin' this. Sponsor me, please! I'll do commercials, whatever you want! And open one up in L.A. already! I guarantee sales. Hell, I might have to do that myself after I retire. Ay yo, yo, yo! Monterey Melt, yo, get up in my mouth! This sh--stuff you can't get anywhere else but the south! And don't even let me get started on them fries! Always perfect when I get 'em, need me a franchise! I am not a rapper, if you couldn't tell.
Drew: Oh, I couldn't. Good luck this upcoming season.
Juno: Thanks, bruh! Ay, by the way, you able to get any---[audio cuts off and video abruptly ends]
Will this year be the Copperheads' season? Who knows, but many believe this signing to be a excellent move. Let's see if the investment pays off!
In other ISFL news, there are reports of Anton Bruckner struggling on the first day of the Orange County Otters mini-camp, and Ben Slothlisberger of the New Orleans Second Line struggling to make weight. Stay subscribed to TMC Sports for further developments around the league!
Don't hang your heads Copperhead fans! Sure, you've just experienced an extremely disappointing early exit in the playoffs despite being one of the favorites to win it all, but the Copperheads still seem able to continue their all-in championship run for another year.
Juno Hu was spotted boarding a private jet owned by Fred Tassow, the General Manager of the Austin Copperheads, in Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport. After the jet landed in Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, Hu was transported via a police-escorted procession to the Austin Copperheads facility. After a little more than 4 hours of deliberation, Hu was seen exiting the building in a teal and brown satin robe alongside two unidentified women, after which he was transported via a limousine to a penthouse in downtown Austin. We followed closely and tried to get an interview with Hu, but were rudely denied by his security detail. Here is the video clip of our encounter:
VIDEO NOTES: Unfortunately we are experiencing an outage with our video CDN and player. Temporarily, we are only able to provide you with the video transcript below. We promise that our engineers are doing their best to resolve it and totally not ignoring the issue.
Reporter and cameraman is running towards Juno Hu and his associates.
Reporter: Hey, Juno! Juno Hu! C-can we get a few minutes of your time, sir??
Bodyguard: Back off, lady! This is as far as you go!
Reporter: We are press, Karen C. Zucker of TMC, just looking for an interview!
Bodyguard: We know who you are. Hu ain't got time for an interview right now, feel?
Reporter: We just want one minu--please! Just one min---sir! We have a right to be here! It's a free countr---!
The video abruptly cuts out.
We've dealt with our fair share of rude security details, but we still feel that this was a bit unnecessary and over the line. We simply wanted to speak to Juno regarding his upcoming season. Fortunately, Drew Callagan of Channel 69 News was able to get an interview with the cornerback on the very next day, which we will shamelessly plug here for you to watch, below:
VIDEO NOTES: Unfortunately we are experiencing an outage with our video CDN and player. Temporarily, we are only able to provide you with the video transcript below. We promise that our engineers are doing their best to resolve it and totally not ignoring the issue.
Drew: Hey Juno, how's it goin'? Drew Callagan with Channel 69 News.
Juno: Oh dang, it's Drew Callagan, what are you doin' out here? Got your whole setup with you. You wanna interview me or what?
Drew: Was here to get some coverage on the Viva la Vida festival, and caught wind that you had arrived in Austin. We were indeed looking to interview you, my man. Didn't think I'd be able to catch you but as luck would have it, here we are.
Juno: Ayy. I just saw your video on the Children of God cult the other day. Crazy how you're able to get into these people and get them to talk. Those crazy [bleep], can't believe they still exist. It's crazy.
Drew: Yeah, I guess I got a little magic or somethin'. Gotta tell you though, unfortunately, my channel was hit with some content strikes from both my platform and the FCC, so if you could help me out and refrain from using profanity, and keep the topic choice as PG as you can, for the families out there, at least while we're on camera, that'd be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, they'll demonetize me, at best, you know? I mean, if you still wanna say whatever you want, then unfortunately I won't be able to put any of that out there.
Juno: Aw dude, sucks. Big brother winnin' again. Well you know what, Drew? For you, I will do that. And we can chat off camera, of course.
Drew: Oh hell yea, brother, cheers. So, got any insider scoop for us? You signing with the Austin Copperheads or what? That's what everyone's saying.
Juno: Yeah, we in the process of finalizing. Right now, just ironing out the details, you know, crossin' the t's, dottin' the i's, all that. The contract details should be out soon if not already.
Drew: They gotta be shellin' out for you, right? I mean, star cornerback, prime of your career.
Juno: S[bleep]--err I mean, shoot, it's an alright deal I guess. Still feel like the ISFL salary cap is trash, you know? The league owners are always working to keep us broke. It's not right if I'm bein' honest. We put our bodies and our brains on the line, man. And the owners of the league get away with so much. The split is like 80/20 in favor of the owners, it really ain't right.
Drew: Yeah, it seems like the ISFLPA isn't doin' anywhere near enough.
Juno: Definitely not, but ay, I ain't about to run that myself. It's a lotta work,can't be bothered, so I guess this where we at with things and I'll just have to accept it. Hopefully someone with more conviction than me cares one day.
Drew: Definitely would do you guys good. You get a chance to meet your new teammates yet?
Juno: Oh yeah, got a nice welcoming haze, as you do. Got to meet Bowie, old Tijuana legend. He gave me a lot of good advice when I was first gettin' into this league, so, got a lot of thanks to give him. Dude's growin' some grey hairs though, so his job is pretty much mine! Montain a graybeard, too. Bunch of old folks on this team, especially that fossil, Egghands. I can see why they called me pretty much immediately after the season ended. Took me a while to get here, 'cause I had to spend some time sayin' my goodbyes in New Orleans, ya know? Couldn't do it all in one day, or even a week, but I'm here now. Got to meet Zoe Watts, she's uhh, pretty cool, dope. I'm, uhh, not really gonna say too much else about her on camera. See a few other familiar faces here, Jean-Jacques Leroy, and some other fellow S28 heads, Cowabunga, O'Leary, Cameron, Chathack'rius. Better show up in practice, Bayley! You can't get open on me! But yeah, the team as a whole has given me a great welcome, and I'm real happy to be here.
Drew: That's good to hear. Were you not happy to be in New Orleans or San Jose?
Juno: Honestly, every team I've been on has treated me really well. I can't say anything bad about them at all. The location is actually what plays the biggest part. I'm from SoCal, you know? So NorCal, San Jose? Wasn't for me. Too cloudy. Too cold. Too depressing. New Orleans? Soon to be underwater. Can't be buyin' any property there. Great city, otherwise, but not a fan of the rainstorms and hurricanes. And here? Well, it's Texas, unfortunately.
Drew: What's wrong with Texas?
Juno: Don't act dumb. You already know! It's almost 2050 and women still can't get a legal abortion in this state. Their power grid still failin' every winter. An absolute failed state if you ask me. Politics here's a joke. Disgraceful traitors in office. Luckily I'm rich, so, ain't too bad for me personally, but I'm a man of the people, you know? Well, I try to be.
Drew: Yeah, I get that, and respect that. It's probably why you still have fans despite your past history.
Juno: What's that supposed to mean?
Drew: Never mind.
Juno: I still got my Whataburger out here, though. One of the best perks--maybe the only perk of living in the south. Bruh, they brought back the Monterey Melt! That's my jam!
Drew: Nice, Whataburger does smack, I agree. I'm a fan of the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit, myself.
Juno: That one's aiite. You try the Mushroom Swiss yet? Pretty good, but still can't beat the Melt.
Drew: I have not. Will have to try and grab one before leaving. Well Juno, I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. Anything else you wanna say to the fans?
Juno: Ayy, wussup Austin! You know who this is. I'ma turn in a season for you, just you wait. To all opposing quarterbacks, I dare you to throw my way!! By the way, Whataburger, if you hearin' this. Sponsor me, please! I'll do commercials, whatever you want! And open one up in L.A. already! I guarantee sales. Hell, I might have to do that myself after I retire. Ay yo, yo, yo! Monterey Melt, yo, get up in my mouth! This sh--stuff you can't get anywhere else but the south! And don't even let me get started on them fries! Always perfect when I get 'em, need me a franchise! I am not a rapper, if you couldn't tell.
Drew: Oh, I couldn't. Good luck this upcoming season.
Juno: Thanks, bruh! Ay, by the way, you able to get any---[audio cuts off and video abruptly ends]
Will this year be the Copperheads' season? Who knows, but many believe this signing to be a excellent move. Let's see if the investment pays off!
In other ISFL news, there are reports of Anton Bruckner struggling on the first day of the Orange County Otters mini-camp, and Ben Slothlisberger of the New Orleans Second Line struggling to make weight. Stay subscribed to TMC Sports for further developments around the league!
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