Well, we've already guaranteed that we won't have a one-loss team this season, and no one's hit five losses through six games yet. This is a much more balanced DSFL season. Anyone can beat anyone, so who's gonna end up being the best at season's end. I dunno, I just know what happening right now, and here's what that is.
Tijuana Luchadores (4-2)
WR Rod Tidwell (@SDCore)
While I’ve been focused on Forrest Gump’s impact on this offense, Rod Tidwell hasn’t been doing much, other than leading the DSFL in receiving yards. His 521 receiving yards is 70 yards ahead of second place, Chase Jensen. In fact, his lead on second place is so large, that Tidwell could put up zeroes in his next game, while Jensen could have an average receiving day (75.2), and Jensen would only barely take the lead. And while opposing defenses have been preoccupied with Gump, Tidwell has had a nice couple of games lately: six receptions for 58 yards in Week 5 against Norfolk and five receptions for 103 yards against Palm Beach in Week 6. If Corvo Havran can get just a bit more efficient (aka complete more passes and stop throwing so many picks), Tidwell could have a record-setting kind of season.
LB Jojo Burr-Kirven (@Rindiee)
I was really tempted to give this honor to Brian Mills IX, a bot. Not because no other Luchadores deserved it, but just because he played his little robotic butt off (between two games, he had 16 tackles, 4 TFLs, 3 sacks, 2 deflections, and a partridge in a pear tree), so I’ll leave those accolades here, and move on to our human man of the hour, Jojo Burr-Kirven. JJBK did a fairly decent Mills V-9 impression, scoring 14 tackles and two sacks between Weeks 5 and 6, both wins for Tijuana that place them right back at the top of this list (and they even have a tiebreaker over Norfolk). Those are some good Lucha things.
Norfolk Seawolves (4-2)
WR Ahri Espeeyeeseetee (@steelsound)
The Dorfus Jimbo numbers are coming back down to non-ludicrous levels. He’s still hovering around 30 carries per game, but that’s at least allowing the passing game to do some work, and Ahri Espeeyeeseetee is reaping the benefits. Right now, there’s a dog fight for best WR in the D-League between Tidwell and Espeeyeeseetee. Tidwell is leading the league in yards and receptions, but Ahri is leading the league in yards per reception (18.5, minimum of five catches) and receiving touchdowns (five). By the way, no one else has more than 16.5 yards per catch or two receiving scores, so Ahri’s leads are pretty big too. In Ahri’s most recent games, he’s put up lines of 5-69-1 and 4-77-1. His season long stats average out pretty close to those numbers, so he’s being remarkably consistent, and he seems to be the only guy in the D-League who can reliably find the endzone through the air. I think that Best WR award will be a fun one to keep track of.
DT Poster Nutbag (@Thee_Autumn_Wind)
These articles are mainly about people who put up flashy numbers and eye-popping stats. You almost never see that from a defensive tackle. That would almost be like if I highlighted a guard. But Poster Nutbag had some gaudy DT numbers this time around. Week 5 against Tijuana, three tackles, a TFL, and a forced fumble, which he also recovered on his own goal line. Not bad, but paltry in comparison to what would come. Week 6 against Kansas City, he had six tackles and five TFLs. That’s a lot, folks; that tied the all-time record for most TFLs in a game by a D-Leaguer. Definitely not bad for someone who never even updated. Maybe this’ll get back to Poster’s user. Hey dude, your guy is doing really well. Maybe you can update him?
Palm Beach Solar Bears (3-2-1)
TE Chase Jensen (@dizzyDC)
While the best WR race is heating up, the Best TE race is looking like a bit of a runaway. Chase Jensen is leading all tight ends in every single category, and the only one who has any real chance to catch him is Timmy Hoss, who basically mirrored Jensen’s production when they faced off in Week 5. In that game, Jensen pulled down six balls for 85 yards and a score, and the following week, he had five of them for 92 yards. Timmy Hoss is gonna have to put in some major work, if he’s going to stay within striking range of Jensen for the Best TE race.
LB Guy Nikko (@Duress)
The Palm Beach Solar Bears are starting more filler bots on defense then any team in the t-League, which might explain two things. #1: they give up the most points in the D-League, and #2: they don’t have anyone who puts up the crazy numbers besides Guy Nikko (most of their other humans are D-linemen). So sorry if this gets a bit repetitive, especially considering Nikko had a down couple of weeks by his standards. Nikko finished Week 5 with “only” ten tackles, a TFL and a forced fumble, and the next week gave him 12 tackles and a TFL. If you’ll recall last season, Nikko led the D-League in sacks and he fell down some people’s boards due to a perceived lack of versatility. This year, he’s stepped into an entirely new role, and is now leading the D-League in tackles. Sounds pretty versatile to me.
Portland Pythons (3-3)
WR Wolfie McDummy (@infinitempg)
You wouldn’t expect the team that won last years Ultimini to also win the following year’s draft, but Portland seems to have found two of the best rookies in the class. Starting with wide receiver Wolfie McDummy, who has been steadily improving and is now the best pass catcher on this team. He pulled down five catches for 61 yards against Kansas City, and four catches for 59 yards against San Antonio. When you consider that the Portland passing game has been really struggling with accuracy issues, those are pretty good numbers. He’s currently leading all rookie pass catchers in receiving yards, and is doing so by a pretty healthy margin. Wolfie’s been updating each week, so don’t be surprised if he’s putting up monster numbers by year’s end.
LB Blake Faux (@AlexF)
Yes, Lanzer Grievous is still putting up really nice tackle numbers, but I wanna highlight some other people, so get off my back DAD. Blake’s been keeping up with Lanzer’s impressive stat totals lately, despite having less than half of Lanzer’s total TPE. Week 5 saw Blake record 11 tackles, a deflection, and an interception, and he followed it up with a 16 tackle, one deflection day. Both games saw him nearly match Lanzer across the board, and when your getting compared to Grievous, especially as a rookie, that’s a pretty good sign.
Kansas City Coyotes (2-4)
RB Jay Quick (@Ramrod18)
I want you to know I was thisclose to giving KC another “nope” in this column, like I did once about them last year. Rose Jenkins is playing terribad football and the thought that she’s going to eventually replace Joliet Christ gives me night terrors. Jay Quick basically made this list by sheer volume. 134 yards with a score and 114 yards with a score look very nice on paper until you notice that Quick carried it more than 30 times in each game. That’s some not so great efficiency. But those were Jay’s first two touchdowns of the season, so that’s at least nice for him.
LB Buddha Lebowski (@BuddhaLebowski)
I don’t know what it is about the Coyotes, but the stats they put up just make them not very fun to talk about. While other teams have guys hitting double digit tackles at a minimum and taking down the quarterback, I have to settle on a Coyote who just had one decent game this week. Buddha Lebowski had five tackles, a deflection and a pick-six in Week 5. Sound good? Well unfortunately, he couldn’t match that kind of production the following week. He’d only get four tackles and nothing else. I tried to find someone else to put here, but this was about as good as I could find for this team. I don’t mean to pile on these guys, but ugh.
San Antonio Marshalls (1-4-1)
TE Timmy Hoss (@smaxx77)
Timmy Hoss is pretty clearly one of the best tight ends in the D-League, and if he can get back to updating regularly, he’ll be a prominent player on the Butchers next season. He and Chase Jensen had a back-and-forth duel that not only ended with nearly identical statlines, with Hoss catching seven balls for 85 yards and a score, but the score ended identically too, thanks to Timmy’s game-tying touchdown as time expired in regulation that capped off a 17 point comeback. The following week, he was a bit slower on the statline: only five catches for 45 yards, but that was enough to lead his team in both categories in a game where San Antonio’s running game was the star of the show.
LB Pierce Van Buren (@adam2552)
I mentioned last time that 19 tackles was the DSFL record. Well, get the White-Out, we have a new record. It took five quarters to get there, but on the final offensive play of overtime, Pierce Van Buren recorded his 20th tackle. He also added a sack to his totals, just to show he was capable of hitting everyone on the offense, including the quarterback. The next week, he followed that great performance up with another one, 12 tackles and a blocked punt. As I predicted last time, the tackling title is a three-way showdown between Nikko, Grievous, and Van Buren. I maybe wasn’t expecting it to be this close, as Nikko has 86, and Grievous and PVB both have 85. These three are separated by a single tackle, and with all three producing at an elite level, I don’t see any reason to expect one of them to fall out of this race any time soon.
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Tijuana Luchadores (4-2) WR Rod Tidwell (@SDCore)
While I’ve been focused on Forrest Gump’s impact on this offense, Rod Tidwell hasn’t been doing much, other than leading the DSFL in receiving yards. His 521 receiving yards is 70 yards ahead of second place, Chase Jensen. In fact, his lead on second place is so large, that Tidwell could put up zeroes in his next game, while Jensen could have an average receiving day (75.2), and Jensen would only barely take the lead. And while opposing defenses have been preoccupied with Gump, Tidwell has had a nice couple of games lately: six receptions for 58 yards in Week 5 against Norfolk and five receptions for 103 yards against Palm Beach in Week 6. If Corvo Havran can get just a bit more efficient (aka complete more passes and stop throwing so many picks), Tidwell could have a record-setting kind of season.
LB Jojo Burr-Kirven (@Rindiee)
I was really tempted to give this honor to Brian Mills IX, a bot. Not because no other Luchadores deserved it, but just because he played his little robotic butt off (between two games, he had 16 tackles, 4 TFLs, 3 sacks, 2 deflections, and a partridge in a pear tree), so I’ll leave those accolades here, and move on to our human man of the hour, Jojo Burr-Kirven. JJBK did a fairly decent Mills V-9 impression, scoring 14 tackles and two sacks between Weeks 5 and 6, both wins for Tijuana that place them right back at the top of this list (and they even have a tiebreaker over Norfolk). Those are some good Lucha things.
Norfolk Seawolves (4-2) WR Ahri Espeeyeeseetee (@steelsound)
The Dorfus Jimbo numbers are coming back down to non-ludicrous levels. He’s still hovering around 30 carries per game, but that’s at least allowing the passing game to do some work, and Ahri Espeeyeeseetee is reaping the benefits. Right now, there’s a dog fight for best WR in the D-League between Tidwell and Espeeyeeseetee. Tidwell is leading the league in yards and receptions, but Ahri is leading the league in yards per reception (18.5, minimum of five catches) and receiving touchdowns (five). By the way, no one else has more than 16.5 yards per catch or two receiving scores, so Ahri’s leads are pretty big too. In Ahri’s most recent games, he’s put up lines of 5-69-1 and 4-77-1. His season long stats average out pretty close to those numbers, so he’s being remarkably consistent, and he seems to be the only guy in the D-League who can reliably find the endzone through the air. I think that Best WR award will be a fun one to keep track of.
DT Poster Nutbag (@Thee_Autumn_Wind)
These articles are mainly about people who put up flashy numbers and eye-popping stats. You almost never see that from a defensive tackle. That would almost be like if I highlighted a guard. But Poster Nutbag had some gaudy DT numbers this time around. Week 5 against Tijuana, three tackles, a TFL, and a forced fumble, which he also recovered on his own goal line. Not bad, but paltry in comparison to what would come. Week 6 against Kansas City, he had six tackles and five TFLs. That’s a lot, folks; that tied the all-time record for most TFLs in a game by a D-Leaguer. Definitely not bad for someone who never even updated. Maybe this’ll get back to Poster’s user. Hey dude, your guy is doing really well. Maybe you can update him?
Palm Beach Solar Bears (3-2-1) TE Chase Jensen (@dizzyDC)
While the best WR race is heating up, the Best TE race is looking like a bit of a runaway. Chase Jensen is leading all tight ends in every single category, and the only one who has any real chance to catch him is Timmy Hoss, who basically mirrored Jensen’s production when they faced off in Week 5. In that game, Jensen pulled down six balls for 85 yards and a score, and the following week, he had five of them for 92 yards. Timmy Hoss is gonna have to put in some major work, if he’s going to stay within striking range of Jensen for the Best TE race.
LB Guy Nikko (@Duress)
The Palm Beach Solar Bears are starting more filler bots on defense then any team in the t-League, which might explain two things. #1: they give up the most points in the D-League, and #2: they don’t have anyone who puts up the crazy numbers besides Guy Nikko (most of their other humans are D-linemen). So sorry if this gets a bit repetitive, especially considering Nikko had a down couple of weeks by his standards. Nikko finished Week 5 with “only” ten tackles, a TFL and a forced fumble, and the next week gave him 12 tackles and a TFL. If you’ll recall last season, Nikko led the D-League in sacks and he fell down some people’s boards due to a perceived lack of versatility. This year, he’s stepped into an entirely new role, and is now leading the D-League in tackles. Sounds pretty versatile to me.
Portland Pythons (3-3) WR Wolfie McDummy (@infinitempg)
You wouldn’t expect the team that won last years Ultimini to also win the following year’s draft, but Portland seems to have found two of the best rookies in the class. Starting with wide receiver Wolfie McDummy, who has been steadily improving and is now the best pass catcher on this team. He pulled down five catches for 61 yards against Kansas City, and four catches for 59 yards against San Antonio. When you consider that the Portland passing game has been really struggling with accuracy issues, those are pretty good numbers. He’s currently leading all rookie pass catchers in receiving yards, and is doing so by a pretty healthy margin. Wolfie’s been updating each week, so don’t be surprised if he’s putting up monster numbers by year’s end.
LB Blake Faux (@AlexF)
Yes, Lanzer Grievous is still putting up really nice tackle numbers, but I wanna highlight some other people, so get off my back DAD. Blake’s been keeping up with Lanzer’s impressive stat totals lately, despite having less than half of Lanzer’s total TPE. Week 5 saw Blake record 11 tackles, a deflection, and an interception, and he followed it up with a 16 tackle, one deflection day. Both games saw him nearly match Lanzer across the board, and when your getting compared to Grievous, especially as a rookie, that’s a pretty good sign.
Kansas City Coyotes (2-4) RB Jay Quick (@Ramrod18)
I want you to know I was thisclose to giving KC another “nope” in this column, like I did once about them last year. Rose Jenkins is playing terribad football and the thought that she’s going to eventually replace Joliet Christ gives me night terrors. Jay Quick basically made this list by sheer volume. 134 yards with a score and 114 yards with a score look very nice on paper until you notice that Quick carried it more than 30 times in each game. That’s some not so great efficiency. But those were Jay’s first two touchdowns of the season, so that’s at least nice for him.
LB Buddha Lebowski (@BuddhaLebowski)
I don’t know what it is about the Coyotes, but the stats they put up just make them not very fun to talk about. While other teams have guys hitting double digit tackles at a minimum and taking down the quarterback, I have to settle on a Coyote who just had one decent game this week. Buddha Lebowski had five tackles, a deflection and a pick-six in Week 5. Sound good? Well unfortunately, he couldn’t match that kind of production the following week. He’d only get four tackles and nothing else. I tried to find someone else to put here, but this was about as good as I could find for this team. I don’t mean to pile on these guys, but ugh.
San Antonio Marshalls (1-4-1) TE Timmy Hoss (@smaxx77)
Timmy Hoss is pretty clearly one of the best tight ends in the D-League, and if he can get back to updating regularly, he’ll be a prominent player on the Butchers next season. He and Chase Jensen had a back-and-forth duel that not only ended with nearly identical statlines, with Hoss catching seven balls for 85 yards and a score, but the score ended identically too, thanks to Timmy’s game-tying touchdown as time expired in regulation that capped off a 17 point comeback. The following week, he was a bit slower on the statline: only five catches for 45 yards, but that was enough to lead his team in both categories in a game where San Antonio’s running game was the star of the show.
LB Pierce Van Buren (@adam2552)
I mentioned last time that 19 tackles was the DSFL record. Well, get the White-Out, we have a new record. It took five quarters to get there, but on the final offensive play of overtime, Pierce Van Buren recorded his 20th tackle. He also added a sack to his totals, just to show he was capable of hitting everyone on the offense, including the quarterback. The next week, he followed that great performance up with another one, 12 tackles and a blocked punt. As I predicted last time, the tackling title is a three-way showdown between Nikko, Grievous, and Van Buren. I maybe wasn’t expecting it to be this close, as Nikko has 86, and Grievous and PVB both have 85. These three are separated by a single tackle, and with all three producing at an elite level, I don’t see any reason to expect one of them to fall out of this race any time soon.
1773 words .
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