*Norfolk's QB Mistake

[bex]

Note: The opinions expressed in letters to the editor are those of the authors. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of NSFL Weekly or its members.

To the Editor of NSFL Weekly,

In your most recent publication, you shared the heartbreaking news: Norfolk had replaced Gimmy Jarrapolo with some “up-and-coming”, “talented”, “young” “quarterback”. You celebrated this news, claiming this would help change things for the Seawolves. You made it seem like a joyful occurrence. And I just have to say: Are you KIDDING me?

First I have to burn all of my Tijuana gear when they so foolishly traded away the man, the myth, the legend, Gimmy Jarrapolo. I mourned the great loss before me, and then I set to work taking the necessary steps to rid my house of any reference to that accursed team. I repainted my house blue. I cried softly as I peeled off my Luchadores bumper stickers. I ordered new ceramic tiles to replace the now offensive Luchadore colors in the Jarrapolo devotional mosaic in my backyard.

I did my duty and invested in matching Seawolves jersey for my entire family. Sure, my wife wasn’t happy. She says the Seawolves’ colors don’t compliment her “autumn complexion”. But we reached a compromise, and I got her in blue without too much trouble. All I had to do was buy her that new car she wanted. Completely worth it.

And do you know how hard it is to find child-size Seawolves jerseys? Seawolves merchandise seemed harder to get than others, probably on account of them being one of the worst teams out there. And their children’s line? Basically non-existent. But the twins, Gimmilla and Jarry? They deserve to wear the sacred number of our Savior as much as the rest of us. Looking at their bright little faces, I knew that I had a duty to them to find these jerseys. So I hunted. I searched high and low, and I finally found some that would fit those special kiddos.

Because I am a good parent, and because my children will grow up knowing the truth: Gimmy Jarrapolo is the true DSFL MVP, now and forever.

And we honor legends in our home.

UNLIKE NORFOLK, and unlike YOU, NSFL Weekly.

I had such hopes for Norfolks. If Gimmy was playing for them, I was willing to put my support behind them, despite them being so disappointing as a team. For Gimmy, I was willing to walk the road to letting them into my heart.

But the road was rough. Norfolk has blamed their poor performance on the quarterback all season, knowing full well that their real problem is T?riki and her O-line. Hell, blame the D-line too. Because I know that Gimmy is out there working his usual magic. It’s slipshod management and these so-called “future MVPs” that have caused the Seawolves to struggle, not the greatest QB the DSFL has ever seen.

So to see this team give back the one good thing they had going for them? To see such a display of arrogance and foolishness? It’s absolutely disgusting. I have no love for this team, for its players or its management. Because without Gimmy, there isn’t even a point in trying. Anyone willing to give up a living legend like that? They are not worth my attention nor my respect.

Tijuana, I forgive you for the sins of the past. As the GOAT comes home, please know that all of the Norfolk gear I had purchased is burning in the backyard. The glow of the fire illuminates my mosaic, and now I can look upon your colors without the twisting feeling of betrayal in my gut. I see now how foolish I was to doubt you.

I look forward to seeing your march to victory, now that you have the blessed Jarrapolo back where he belongs.

Sincerely,
GimmyFan69

P.S, NSFL Weekly, I recommend you stop covering Norfolk entirely. They are so obviously not worth the time and attention you seem to want to give them. Sure, the players have charisma. Sure, they have rocking social media. But they are nothing more than posers and wanna-be's. The only player that even comes close to being real deal is that Bjørn fellow. He at least looks like a threat out on the field. And even he has his faults. If you must cover a failing team, better stick to Palm Beach. At least they have style.

[lamp_wizard]

Amazing.

[ValorX77]

Thanks for the copypasta

[IsaStarcrossed]

I couldn't put my finger on why this format had familiarity to it. Valor hit it on the head. This is absolutely prime copypasta material.