*S23 DSFL Recap

[The_Kidd]

READY TO BE GRADED 1.5x Media Bonus

Alirght, I'll be succinct as possible, I decided to put together depth charts for each DSFL team entering the draft. Along the way, I decided to recount each team's progression from the start of the season to this point. All the TPE listed is at the point of the ISFL draft last week. Done, now for the actual material:

  Norfolk Seawolves 



Norfolk Seawolves S23 Recap

S22: 8-6, Lost SFC Championship Game
S23 Key Losses: WR Griff Oberwald, CB B. Brosley, CB Thubba Bumper, LB Jack Banks, DE Buster Brownce, DE Mike Karpaasi, FS DB Jadakiss, SS Michael Lee
S23: 10-4, Won Ultimini
O-Player of the Season: Dre Matthews 70 rec 937 yds 13.4 ypc 9 TD
D-Player of the Season: B. Blanco – 49 TCK 1 FF/FR 2 INT 14 PD

The Seawolves had one goal this season: to sink anyone who dared test their waters. After a crushing overtime loss to Tijuana where the Seawolves missed TWO potentially game-winning field goals and watching the Luchadores barely escape the claws of the Royals, the Seawolves were full steam ahead to obtain what they felt was rightfully theirs. Norfolk had one of the most talented rosters in S22, so it’s natural that they loss a monumental amount of talent. On the other hand, Norfolk had so much left in the reserve, they could’ve cruised on autopilot for most of the season.  With returning playmakers in Adelie De Pengu, Quarter Skrills, Dre Matthews, and the famed QB duo of Luke Skywalker and Sulemain Ramza --- the Seawolves were all in this season.  With promising WR prospect Benny Blanco converting to safety, Matthews became the true focal point of the passing attack, hauling in an incredible 70 catches.

Norfolk made the most of the two QB’s dual threat ability, acting as a soft-replacement for a 3rd running back, alleviating fatigue off Skrills and standout rookie Captain Rogers. The two signal callers mobility also kept many defenses confused as to when to guard against the run and when to guard against the pass. Norfolk’s ability to utilize so many different rushers kept the Wolves in a very conservative approach but a highly efficient attack. The Wolves were able to keep their defensive players fresh as well. Whereas the Royals loaded up their secondary, Norfolk loaded their front 4 with Sinclair and De Pengu being joined by key big body contributors, Chad Simpson and Sig Sternenstaub. Blanco and Quentin Button formed a formidable duo in the back as the Seawolves crushing run defense took immense pressure off their softer pass defense.

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Norfolk’s experience showed right out the dock, winning their first 5 games, including a colossal comeback road win in London after defeating Kansas City at home the week prior. Norfolk suffered their first defeat in week 6, in Dallas and bounced back with another win. But then Norfolk suffered a humiliating 35-3 road defeat to Minnesota, who had 2 wins entering the week 8 clash. This loss took Norfolk off course for 3 weeks as they also lost to Kansas City, scoring only 3 points again, and then getting handled at home by London. Norfolk then righted the course, ending the season with 4 straight wins, including a dominating 23-7 win over Dallas in week 13 which gave them the advantage in the divisional race and crucial home field advantage they needed against Dallas in the playoffs. Norfolk pulled out all the stops against Dallas, managing to hold the Birddogs off despite being outgained in most categories. Norfolk, finally over that mental hurdle of not making an title game appearance since their debut season, left the Coyotes adrift at sea as they comfortably won the Ultimini for their first title, capping an incredible season.

Looking Ahead

Norfolk had one of the most efficient offenses, finishing with the most points, most passing touchdowns, and least amount of interceptions. Having two veteran quarterbacks allows so much flexibility in an offensive gameplan. Skywalker will be moving on to replace Corvo Harvan, but Ramza, the newly appointed successor in Orange County, will still be around to captain the team. Everyone else has plans of defending the title, which makes it easier for the Seawolves to replace the ineligible Haugland and Sunrise.

On defense, the Seawolves carried a shaky secondary, due to the fact they had such a stout run defense that created tough passing situations. In the upcoming season, their secondary will be tested more often as the entire LB core will move on. That’s not to say the secondary will e exposed, but Norfolk, by default, has to bring in linebackers, not only for the sake of having linebackers, but to keep their defensive mold intact. Regardless, replacing three heavily featured linebackers will be a simple but difficult task.

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The Seawolves’ divisional foes are probably hoping for two outcomes:

1. For the passing offense to suffer without Haugland and the possible introduction of a rookie backup QB

2. That their defense crumbles without the firepower of their now departed LB trio

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Either way, Norfolk does not have many holes to address, but the holes they must fill are about the size of 2-3 holes. Missing on their picks can anchor their title defense before they get the season rolling.

 Dallas Birddogs 



Dallas Birddogs S23 Recap

S22: 7-7, 3rd Place
S23 Key Losses: QB Monty Jack, RB Kichwa Jones, OL C. Thadsson, CB Colt Mendoza, CB X. Schiaparelli, LB McCringleberry, DT Tyler Montain, S Raphael D’ Alcott
S23: 9-5 Lost SFC Championship Game
O-Player of the Season: Z. Watts 237 att 1160 yds 4.9 ypa 9 TD | 13 rec 57 yds 1 TD
D-Player of the Season: Blade Mccoy – 112 TCK 4 TFL 2 INT 6 SCK 2 PD 1 STY

The Birddogs entered their 3rd season of existence with an agenda to mark their territory within the class of the league. For most brand-new teams, finishing .500 in their second season would be a major achievement, but Dallas had already eclipsed such standard goals. Dallas had a chance to earn a playoff spot in the tough northern division but a disastrous three game slide towards the end of the seasons put the playoff hopes out to the pasture. Dallas had made their presence felt, as the draft saw their team get raided, losing key contributors such as Tyler Montain, Hingle McCringleberry, and Raphael D’Alcott all after their first season. The ‘Dogs also saw their pound thin out with veterans Monty Jack, Kichwa Jones, and Colt Mendoza move on as well. Entering their 3rd season, Dallas needed a new QB, new RB, and had to replace 4 of their highest earning defensive stalwarts, a large ask for any team, let alone a new team.

If season 2 was Dallas earning acknowledgment, then season 3 saw Dallas commanding and demanding respect. Dallas wisely targeted positions that were easy to fill. With star WR Luca Scabbia still around, blooming rookie Taro Raimon stepped in without a hitch to be an equally imposing threat. Dallas used their first pick, not on a QB, but on a kicker. Little did we know that Zoe Watts, who briefly kicked for Dallas the season prior, would switch to RB and basically dig in and cover up the backfield hole and then some extra. Watts rightfully earned a spot in the RBoTY discussion as a jack of all trades Dallas also acquired another kicker, Phillip Stein, who had already voiced discomfort about his future aspirations in a saturated market. A team with special teams burden last year turned two kickers into two viable prospects as Stein converted to a safety and took control of the secondary along with returning veteran Tomage McGullager. 

These deals prevented Dallas from reaching and allowed them to evenly spread their talent around. Rookie QB Mattathias Caliban did an admiral job filling in for Monty Jack, who didn’t have the best of send off seasons. But it was the veterans that gave Dallas the edge to pose as a threat. Scabbia had a wonderful season hauling in passes and allowing Caliban to grow and Zee Rechs did his part to catch those tough intermediate throws and open up lanes for Watts to plow through. On defense, Stein eased the loss of D’Alcott, but it was the two linebackers, Blade McCoy and Bradley Owens that provided the foundation for the defense. While McCringleberry fought for rookie of the year honors in Chicago, McCoy had a season that made most fans forget about McCringleberry’s presence. If not for such a loaded LB class, McCoy could have walked away with LBoTY honors in a different season.

Looking Ahead

If one followed the DSFL close enough, then the following statement won’t be shocking: Dallas was fairly beaten 3 times in the regular season, by only two teams. And both of those teams made the playoffs the last two seasons and had one Ultimini appearance apiece. Dallas managed to mitigate the woes of a rookie QB with a powerful run game and timely, but limited, downfield throws. A 6-game win streak is remarkable, but to do it with a rookie QB is due commendation.

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Dallas will hope to unleash Caliban more as his game is better equipped for a full season in s24 and having Raimon and Watts will help tremendously, but Dallas will need to plug in that WR #2 spot. Thankfully, they’ll have the luxury of two running backs to lean on until the passing offense catches up, but the threat of the pass in the redzone and medium-yardage situations must be established to prevent teams from selling out on stopping the run and placing them in long yardage down and distance situations.

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On defense, Dallas lost four of their best starters and STILL managed to improve their defensive standing. Dallas saw improvement across the board in nearly every major category except their rush defense, which is a byproduct of running 335 sets in certain situations. Most DSFL passing attacks are underdeveloped, so it’s wise to force teams to try and run the ball 80 yards and put their passing offense to the limit. The irony here is that Dallas had the same weakness with their offense this season. The old mantra goes: “The longer an offense stays on one drive, the more prone they are to making mistakes.” The loss of Stein and McGullager will force some changes to the league-leading pass defense, but with Blackwell and Nerdy back, they already have quality pieces in place to keep the pass defense stingy. The Birddogs biggest hole will be their now vacant defensive line, with Eller and Cloudera both departing the doghouse, the Birddogs will need some reinforcements to prevent teams from willingly running all day on them. Otherwise, Dallas probably has the highest floor in their division on the onset of the draft.

  Tijuana Luchadores 



Tijuana Luchadores S23 Recap

S22: 10-4, Won Ultimini
S23 Key Losses: QB Jim Waters, RB Running Back, RB Richard Gilbert, OL S Berlin, WR Jackson Kingston, LB Griffin Porter, DE J Lopez, DE Tycker Om, FS Literal Hexagon, FS H. Ryan, SS Magnus Valdyr, K Jacob Small
S23: 6-8 3rd place
O-Player of the Season: C. Theeks 337 att 1592 yds 4.7 ypc 11 TD | 125 yds 6.6 yds 1 TD
D-Player of the Season: Nat Wright 118 TCK 1 TFL 1 FR 1 SCK 1 INT 1 PD

After looking over the Luchadores roster, I’m wondering how did they only manage 10 points at home against a mid-card jobber squad like the Royals in the main event match? Tijuana had their eyes on the prize with this much talent on their roster and once they wrapped the belt around their waist after laying the smackdown, their team bolted faster than Stone Cold when he had to fight Brock Lesnar. Nonetheless, if you’re going to lose nearly 2/3 of the team to the big leagues, doing so after winning the Ultimini is the best way to do so.

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All the departures basically switched Tijuana from title defense mode to rebuild mode. Tijuana started the season with the second fewest human players. Tijuana did a great job not submitting from the first bell and putting up the best fight they could. They added several quality players including Mike Boss Jr., Crowbar Theeks, Maverick Bowie, Icebox Ripostle, and Adam Schell which would only help the lethal duo of Freidrich Vequain and Doug Howlett lead the Luchadores to a hopeful title defense. Even though Boss Jr. was a rookie, he didn’t have to be placed in harmful situations as Ben Sloethlisberger had one last fight before heading up north to Mardi Gras land. Likewise, despite only having one true RB for much of the season, Crowbar Theeks pulled his best Earl Campbell impression and ran until he couldn’t run anymore.

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The defense on the other hand switched from a pay per view undercard to a Saturday Night bit part. Tijuana’s defense went full boom or bust, giving up the most points and but racking up the most interceptions. In fact, they were the only team to finish with multiple defensive touchdowns, as they had 3. Tijuana probably had, in my opinion, the best designed defensive bots, which is a positive, but also a negative when the bots turn into some of your best players.
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Tijuana started off flat at 1-3 before a big win against London, where they snagged 4 interceptions and had two defensive scores, in week 5 seemed to get the team back on track briefly. But after two vital losses to Norfolk and Dallas, all of Tijuana’s hopes of keeping the belt were cut short as the Luchadores were snake-bitten in Portland in week 9. Tijuana, with the best passing attack in the league facing the second worst defense (worst rush defense too), could only get 10 points in a 12-10 loss, essentially putting the Luchadores down for the count.

Looking Ahead

The best thing about having a roster light on human players means that the odds being depleted by call ups are exponentially lower. Tijuana will only lose three players this offseason. Fortuitously, they lost two players in two spots with depth. Boss Jr will start his league takeover next season as Sloethlisberger moves on and Doug Howlett will finally be able to ascend to WR3 status in Baltimore. Thankfully for Tijuana, Vequain is stuck behind a loaded WR core in Arizona, forcing him to spend all 3 years in Mexico. Tijuana would love to keep their streak of #1 passing offense alive but the sudden departure of star RB Theeks may force them to search for multiple RB’s instead of a breakout WR #2. Despite Theeks having a gigantic season, nearly winning RBoTY, Tijuana still finished last in rushing yards, as they struggled to keep a tempo soluble for a sole running back while taking full advantage of their potent receivers.

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The Luchadores defense will hope to add some substance to their flash next season. They will feel the loss of shutdown corner Bane Ka’ana’ana who put his share of receivers in a choke-hold and bashed QB’s over the head silly enough to test him. Tijuana needs d-linemen in the worst way so they can pressure the quarterback. Schell and Wright create a formidable LB duo and Bowie will serve as a field general in the back with his GM Bots stealing all the highlights. Plus, with Colorado’s LB’s on the edge of retirement, and Walt Green suddenly stepping aside in Baltimore, there isn’t much time before Wright and Bowie jump up. With Norfolk losing a good chunk of talent, Tijuana can seize the opportunity if they play their cards right.

  Myrtle Beach Buccaneers 

Myrtle Beach Buccaneers S23 Recap
S22: 7-7, 4th Place
S23 Key Losses: QB T. Sofa, OL D. Thruster, OL S. Tremblay, TE James Angler, TE C. Boyd, DE J. Frackerson, DE L. Longshot, S B. Lanier, S Eugene Smoothie
S23: 6-8 4th Place
O-Player of the Season: Leeroy Jenkins 63 rec 791 yds 12.6 ypc 7 TD
D-Player of the Season: Arlington Heights – 45 TCK 17 TFL 1 FF/FR 7 SCK 

There’s must’ve been something in the air during season 22. Myrtle Beach is probably the only team that would rue a 7-7 finish. For one, they watched teams with sub .500 records make the playoffs. Two, they ended up last in their division with a .500 record. Three, they had one of the most talented rosters akin to those old Chargers teams that would routinely miss the playoffs and lead the league in pro-bowlers. Like Minnesota, Myrtle Beach likely had a lot of players ready to move on from the pain of S22, but Myrtle Beach had many more players stay behind to fight another year and right the wrongs of the prior season. Alas, Myrtle Beach likely is in the eye of the hurricane as well. As Myrtle Beach bled away talent, the other teams in their division continued to reinforce their rosters at quicker rates.

The biggest change for Myrtle Beach was “transitioning” on from long-time incumbent QB, Chris Ramos, and letting Joesep Joestar captain the ship and get all the swashbucklers and harlots under control. Myrtle Beach at 2-1 when Joestar finally took over and scored a big win over Minnesota before suffering a 3-game skid. The Buccaneers secured a huge win against a feisty Pythons squad that kept them in the playoff race. However, in week 12, needing a win at home against Norfolk, the Buccaneers built a 20-7 halftime lead before falling apart in the second half and losing 21-20, essentially ending their playoff push. The show is all about Joe on O fo’ season twenty-fo’. Likewise, with stud rookie Zelos moving up to help the Liberty make another playoff run, Tyrone Woods will need to bring the lumber if opponents are going to walk the plank next season.

Looking Ahead

The best thing Myrtle Beach has going for them is depth. Myrtle Beach tries to keep it’s talent evenly distributed around the roster. Myrtle Beach will probably wish they had gotten Joestar a season earlier as their pass offense suffered mightily despite having a trio of potent receivers. Sadly, for Joestar, he’ll be the one waiting for his teammates to catch up next season as all three of his wide receivers will be departing. Longtime booty hunters Ramos and Mouseman will also be docking their boat and waving goodbye to South Carolina. Otherwise Myrtle Beach is in good position on defense, a unit that didn’t have a significant dropoff in production still returns Kennedy, Woods, Heights, and Mouse. Myrtle Beach can probably get away with prioritizing offense for one season, granted having an extra stud anywhere won’t hurt. 

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Meanwhile, the offense has been run-heavy, constantly leading the league in rushing yards, but the dropoff in passing production is a troubling sign, especially when on the verge of losing not one, but three quality receivers. Getting Joestar some help will be Myrtle Beach’s main priority. Expect 3’ Jeffrey to get about 3-hundred attempts if the Buccaneers raid the WR draft pool and sacrifice finding a quality backup RB.

  Portland Pythons 



Portland Pyhtons S23 Recap
S22: 5-9, 3rd Place
S23 Key Losses: QB George O’Donnell, OL J. McCabe, OL T Sacamano, TE D. George, WR R. Okusi, CB Alex Hamilton II, LB Heinrich Kackpoo, DT J. Arc, DT H. Steel, DE S. Claxton, DE J. Tackthetrix, FS S. Dawkins, FS CJ Riley
S23: 5-9 4th place
O-Player of the Season: Joe Petrongolo – 241 att 1075 yds 4.5 ypa 6 TD | 16 rec 156 yds 9.8 ypc
D-Player of the Season: Joel Drake – 62 TCK 4 INT 1 FF 22 PD

If there is one word I could describe Portland as, it would be: conundrum. They draft well, they draft excellent. They seem to bring in supremely talented players and highly active and motivated users. Portland always seems to keep an active team. The issue with this is that most of these players know this and have bigger ambitions. These players are self-aware of their value and all but assure they will be called up involuntarily after one season. When there is that much transition, it’s hard to establish an identity when your team is a consistent revolving door of players. Portland is equivalent to the University of Kentucky or Duke with how many high-profile users they bring to the team. To be more apropos, they are the DSFL version of UCLA and the University of Texas with how many stud players they consistently pull in but fail to translate the talent on paper into talent on the screen. In my brief 4-month stint here, Portland has been the doormat of the division and have not shown much to change that narrative.

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To continue, it’s not that their front office isn’t one-dimensional, they drafted 14 players this season because they knew they needed to reload the roster and hope some of those players stick around. Unfortunately, some of their s24 gems are already moving on, setting Portland back into a hole again. Portland had a very unbalanced roster, loaded with offensive talent but breaking in a rookie QB and on defense they were just hoping not to get run out the stadium by the first quarter.

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Portland started the season in an 0-3 hole and valiantly fought back to reach .500 at 3-3. Playoffs were a goal, albeit unrealistic given the lack of defensive depth Portland had, but a 20 point loss to Minnesota at home in week 12, in the middle of a 4 game losing streak, all but ended any faint dreams they had. However, Portland didn’t quit and ended the season with a nice road win in Kansas City to end the season and still managed to keep the 1st overall pick.

Looking Ahead

Well, on the positive side, Sam Howitzer will have another year of experience under his belt and QB play will be the strength of Portland’s offense. The ugly part is that Howitzer will be the strength by default as all of his weapons are leaving. Snyder and Videl-San are both leaving, allowing for Korbin Brown to hard carry the offense with Howitzer, looking to connect with as many mortars as they can. All three of Portland’s highly active RB’s are heading out simultaneously, a likely unexpected scenario but with Baby Yoda leaving Arizona and Apollo Reed retiring in Baltimore, the opportunity to move on became golden. Finding an RB shouldn’t be difficult, they just lost three productive ones in one off-season, what’s another three replacements to them? However, the one saving grace of Portland’s offense was their lethal rushing attack. Without the bevy of bulldozing backs, who knows how much worse the offense can turn out after two seasons in the bottom 4?

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As for the defense, the lack of talent, especially on the front 7 was felt throughout the season as the Pythons yielded the most rushing yards, the second most points per game and total yards, and finished last in sacks. Teams knew they could run the ball on the Pythons and slither through all the cracks in the defense and keep their venomous offense off the field. Omar Wright Jr., the rare 2-year player here, got tremendous aid from first year standouts Dorothy Zbornak and Joel Drake. Now, based on how awards went, you’d think Drake would be the one to leave but it’s Zbornak moving on after being picked in the first round by Philly, looking to shore up their d-line for a deeper playoff run. Wright Jr. and Drake will need all the help they can get if Portland has any realistic shot at the playoffs. Like Minnesota’s offense, Portland needs to nail every defensive pick. Just having active bodies on the team would be a massive upgrade to their roster as it stands they will only have 4 active defensive players going into the draft, and active is generous to the other two players not named Drake and Wright Jr.

  Minnesota Grey Ducks 

Minnesota Grey Ducks S23 Recap
S22: 8-6, Lost NFC Championship Game
S23 Key Losses: RB Jamar Lackson, WR Tychondrius Hood, CB Matt Krause, CB Ty Shields, LB Dex Kennedy, DT Mario VanPebbles, DE Walter Chestnut III, FS Buck Thornton, SS Sebastian Vettel
S23: 6-8 3rd Place
O-Player of the Season: K. Sakura 50 rec 737 yds 14.7 ypr 4 TD
D-Player of the Season: A. Chainbreaker – 102 TCK 2 TFL 4 FF 6 SCK 9 PD 

Quick preface, I knew Minnesota lost a great deal of talent coming into this season, but after going through this, I am actually shocked they still pulled off 6 wins. Minnesota seemed poised to take the Ultimini two seasons ago as they had the most complete team with one of the stingiest defenses in recent memory (of my short memory that is). But a fateful night under the Lake Superior fog saw them crushed and deflated after the Royals upset the Ducks in overtime. I don’t know if the pain from the loss caused too much trauma or what, but Minnesota saw a mass exodus in talent as if the Walking Dead conquered the great north. Minnesota suffered from one of the smallest collections of human players coming into S23, but they still had some talented holdovers in Kai Sakura, Zed Keppler, Daymond Brooks, and Ray Ray Jackson. It’s an impossible task to attempt to replace so much talent, let alone in one season, but the acquisitions of Woodrow Brooks, Alejandro Chainbreaker, and Rashard Hilliard were excellent finds by the Minnesota front office (re-acquisitions in Chainbreaker's and Brooks' cases).

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After 4 games, Minnesota seemed poised to continue their success, sitting at 2-2 with two road losses to Norfolk and Myrtle Beach and two home wins against London and Tijuana. But soon enough, Minnesota’s lack of depth would catch up with them. The week 4 loss to Myrtle Beach would start a stretch where Minnesota would lose 7 of their next 8 games, four by one possession. During the stretch when most teams see big gains in their new players, Minnesota could only try to stay above water as the few players they had left to grow were doing what they could to help the team. Minnesota had their best showing crushing Norfolk 34-3 in week 8, but the momentum did not carry over and a painful week 11 loss to home against an equally sinking Myrtle Beach squad all but dashed any miracle push for the playoffs. Minnesota will at least have the 2nd pick to add another high-profile player in the mix.
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Despite losing so much talent, Minnesota has already had a great start to replenishing the talent as both Chainbreaker and Hilliard were in the running for positional awards all season. On offense, Minnesota saw continued stellar production from their WR core, now just Sakura and Brooks, as the two were the second-best duo in the DSFL. Not having a third option is where they hurt the most. The two human offensive linemen helped open holes for Keppler, who had an electric season despite being forced to be a workhorse the entire season. All in all, Minnesota should be proud of this season, but this might be the eye of the hurricane they are sitting in.

Looking Ahead

With only two receivers and one running back to rely on, Minnesota’s offensive production dropped to the bottom of the league. Snowbow’s propensity to toss interceptions led to a muzzle being placed on the pass offense which was Minnesota’s strength last season. Not having a proper backup for Keppler or any 3rd receiving option anywhere hurt Minnesota’s offense dearly. To compound the issues, all three of Sakura, Brooks, and Keppler received promotions during the offseason. Julio Jones also will be leaving, meaning Snowbow will be surrounded by all rookies next season, which will be a great way to spend your final DSFL season. Every offensive pick Minnesota has must hit or it could spell disaster.

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The defense did not fare as well either, but that is more from following up such an elite year the season before. The defense dropped into the bottom half of most categories, most notably with their pass defense shifting to last. With over 6 guys gone, there were too many holes to fill. Moreover, Jackson was moved to the inside and that left a bot to cover the outside with Hilliard and a depleted safety tandem behind them. The most eye-popping stat is that Minnesota’s sack total dropped by almost 50% and they still managed the 5th most in the league. At least the defense is only losing one player this season, so it gives the Grey Ducks some foundation to build on whereas the offense is in the same position the defense was coming into this season. The downside for Minnesota is that they have numerous holes to fills but, on the upswing,, pretty much anybody is better than nobody.

  Kansas City Coyotes 



Kansas City Coyotes S23 Recap
S22: 5-9, 4th Place
S23 Key Losses: DE Son Goku
S23: 7-7 Lost Ultimini
O-Player of the Season: T. Cooper 52 rec 773 yds 14.9 ypr 3 TD
D-Player of the Season: B. Thomslacher – 100 TCK 8 TFL 1 FF 6 SCK 

Kansas City, two years removed from a title game appearance, took a step back last season as they finished in last place and earned the 1st overall pick. However, it was a minor setback for the major comeback. One reason Kansas City suffered last season is that they lacked talent on the roster and we’re in a rebuild with a new QB and a litany of new defensive players. The positive for having so many new players is that it’s unlikely you lose them all after one season (unless you’re the Royals) and for Kansas City, they only lost one major contributor in Son Goku. The problem is that “major” is probably an understatement to Goku’s impact and the Coyotes needed to replace him in addition to filling the holes that existed around him already. The Coyotes would do just that with #1 pick Asher Montain and fellow defensive rookies LeBong Simwell, and Brach Thomslacher, forming a near impenetrable front 4 with returning stud Carl Wheezer. 

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On offense, the Coyotes underwent changes that covered the entire “what-if” spectrum. First, backup QB Charmin Glassley had to step down from his post and converted to LB before riding off into the desert. On a negative, the Coyotes lost a player, but on a positive, they were allowed to give Covington free reign over the offense for 13 games. The arrival of standout Sergio Kitchens must have re-energized Kevin Fakon to return and commandeer the #1 RB spot, giving the Coyotes two dependable RB’s to lean on. The arrival of Joshua Campbell gave Cooper a true running mate on the opposite side of the field to keep double teams off of him.

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Kansas City brought a well-balanced team to the table, mixed with high-earning rookies and solid veterans and their versatility in their front 7 allowed them to run a 34 defensive front to confuse offenses and dominate the trenches throughout the season. The Coyotes started the season off right, taking out the Royals in week 1 in suffocating fashion, establishing their presence as a team to be feared. They would have to prove it right away as they traveled east to Norfolk and suffered a humbling defeat. However, the Coyotes would win 6 of their next 8 games, including a big rematch against Norfolk in week 9 where they clamped down and clawed through the Seawolves for a 13-3 win. The Coyotes can always wonder how they loss at home by one to Dallas or even worse, ponder the Pythons persistent resilience after being swept by Portland. Those extra wins likely wouldn’t have changed the setup of the ultimini but it hurts to lose such close games. 

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Kansas City, after escaping with the divisional crown, met up with London in the conference championship where they held on for life, as London dominated just about everything except the scoreboard, for a 14-13 win. Kansas City headed back to Norfolk with their high-powered air attack, led by Raccoon, Campbell, and Cooper, and a stonewall defensive front headed by the versatile hybrids, Thomslacher and Montain with championship dreams. The dream would end the moment the Coyotes took the field as Norfolk booted Kansas City back to Norfolk and stole all their catered barbecue in the process.

Looking Ahead

Kansas City, although probably still reeling from their title defeat, should be proud of how their season turned out and what they have for next season. With the additions of Campbell and Kitchens and the return of Fakon, Kansas City went from league worst offense to one of the most versatile passing units in the league. Utilizing Raccoon at TE opened up extra options in the offense en route to Raccon securing TEoTY. The Coyotes will be returning nearly all their offensive talent, so they should be a much more dangerous unit next year.

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The defense went from worst to first in points allowed, aided by a massive improvement in their rush defense that saw them drop their average by 57 yards per game and become the best run defense unit and one of the most ferocious pass rush units. Even with Montain being a one-and-done prospect, there is still plenty of leftover talent on this defensive unit in the front half to keep similar production. The Coyotes will need to address their secondary which is plagued with inactives, including the now-ineligile Jon Bois. Thankfully there are plenty of defensive prospects and the Coyotes don’t need to focus their draft capital on various positions like they did the last two seasons.

  London Royals 



London Royals S23 Recap
S22: 6-8, Lost Ultimini
S23 Key Losses: TE Donatello Arriabiatta, WR Nick Kaeprcolin, LB Eric Richards
S23: 7-7 Lost NFC Championship Game
O-Player of the Season: D. King – 236 att 1228 yds 5.2 ypc 11 TD | 12 rec 98 yds 8.2 ypr 1 TD
D-Player of the Season: J. Domine – 166 TCK 3 TFL 2 FF 3 SCK 2 INT 7 PD

The Royals, entering only their third year of existence, did not carry expectations of a typical fresh expansion franchise. After a typical sub -.500 season in S21, the Royals lost most of their depth in the draft, only to replenish it and then some the next season. The Royals managed to shock the world and reach the Ultimini in their second season, far exceeding everyone’s (even some in their own camp) expectations. Looking to continue their string of success and ascension from being typecast a flash in the pan, the Royals set to make a bigger statement in S23. The Royals collectively had the biggest return of active players to complete their quest to bring the Ultimini across the water. The Royals had only three active players called up. However, they would need to shore up their receiving core as they lost two of their biggest receiving threats in Kapercolin and Arriabiata as well as replace the one active LB they had in Eric Richards. The Royals would land two productive WR threats in Gunner Thornbjornsson and Tre’Davious J’Vathon --- two receivers when combined have veteran moxy and can be savvy with the sim. However, growing offensive players into consistent producers is a tough challenge for any DSFL team, especially when there are 4 players to groom simultaneously. 

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On defense, the Royals did more than replace Richards, they set the bar even higher for future LB’s that don the regal Gold and Black. Both Juan Domine and Busch Light were phenomenal in every aspect one could think of. Domine lead the league in tackles and routinely found himself in the middle of every big play and the few plays he wasn’t there, Light was there in his place. These productive rookies were being added to a mix of players that featured Colby Jack, Greedy Sly, Danny King, Bob Bob, and a CB duo that could go pound for pound with the best WR threats in the league. There was plenty reason for the Royals to be excited about season 23. 

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Unfortunately, reality hit the Royals hard in the chin right from the start. Growing new offensive players requires rowing pains if you run more exotic or advanced strategies. Without the veteran receiving options, the Royals put up back to back duds against KC and MIN. The Royals loss against Kansas City will draw ire as they had a chance to jump ahead of everyone with a veteran team but had their worst offensive performance of the season. In turn, a win against KC would have given them the edge in the division race at the end of the season. The Royals struggled to put a complete game together as they a positive turnover differential in 2 of their first 3 losses. They finally got their first win in week 4 at home against a Dallas before following that up with a week 5 loss in Tijuana that featured 4 INT’s, two returned for defensive scores. The Royals started modifying their approach, leaning more on their veteran RB’s Danny King and Jacoby Batista and putting less pressure on their young offensive players. Not even veteran QB Colby Jack could alleviate all the pain by himself as his stats took a massive dip from the prior year when he battled for QBoTY all season.

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In the second half of the season, the Royals were able to string together 5 consecutive victories, including two straight road wins against Dallas and Norfolk, two teams established as the Royals biggest foes for the title by this point, and a week 13 clash against Portland that secured their playoff spot. The Royals win against Norfolk provided big morale boost as they had colossally choked against the Wolves in their first matchup. The Royals even had a chance to win the division after their putrid start but fell short in week 14. They would travel to Kansas City on the back of King, the eventual RBoTY, Domine, Sly, and Crooks leading the defense, and their rookies finally getting acclimated to the game. However, the Royals would not find similar luck in the playoffs as they did last year when they beat Minnesota by 3 in the frozen lakes. Instead they would fall short 14-13 in Kansas City as their offense couldn’t find the sauce to grill the Coyotes.

Looking Ahead

The Royals offense saw improvements and decline over the course of the season. Their rushing offense went from worst, by a modest margin, to 4th best and the Royals punched in a league-leading 22 rushing touchdowns, led by the duo of Danny King and Jacoby Batista who will both return for next season. The passing offense saw a slight decrease in yards at the expense of a huge efficiency drop to maintain similar volume to last year. The Royals were the worst team in passer rating and offensive interceptions. With Jack moving on, the spotlight shines on Charlemagne Cortez to improve the offense again and get his young receiving targets up to speed so the Royals can avoid misfires early in the season as they did this season. If the Royals continue to rely on their cowbell RB stable, it’s possible they can mitigate any passing woes when they bring in extra receiving threats to replace Cash and Arriabiatta. Likewise, a mobile QB2 could alleviate Cortez from having to work so many designed QB runs.

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Meanwhile on defense, they saw marginal improvements in their numbers across the board (save for a drop in pass yards), but in total, the defense still ranked in the bottom half as a unit. A bend don’t break philosophy that gets the job done but might need to be refined if the team plans to avoid any huge lulls next season. The one constant in these two seasons is that the Royals have struggled to find dominant d-linemen. Even with all of their secondary talent, the defense still struggled to stop offenses from finding a rhythm (also aided by how many turnovers their offense had). We all know that DSFL teams like to run and the Royals were the only team to make the playoffs the past two seasons that did not have a top 4 run defense or pass defense --- is it a fortuitous formula or a broken clock fallacy? Despite losing three secondary pieces, the Royals still have three capable DB’s. Fortifying their front four with the returning Andrews and Caidaire can give the Royals a monstrous front 7, with the returning Domine and Light, that can finally elevate their defense to the upper echelon and not a boom or bust tragic hero plot line. But the Royals should feel comfortable where they are at and be able to continue their success.

- Not even going to waste time with a conclusion, so if you made it down here, thank you.
Credit @[The_Kidd] 60% / @[abh89] 30% for intel reconnaissance / @[mattress caidaire] 10% for proofreading

WC: 8345

[Thor]

Wow, there's a lot in there! Unfortunately Myrtle Beach will be losing Joseph Joestar to the ISFL this season. MB also seems to be missing their roster assessment table? This is a great article though and it definitely looks like you've put a lot into it along with abh and caidaire. Good work guys!