(S21) - Ultimus Week

[Huskies311]

6. Next Year

The Baltimore Hawks have a lot of potential. After coming out of a conference championship loss to Yellowknife, we are looking to the future with a good young core, a hefty DSFL active list, and draft capital. I’ll go into each of these in depth as a reason why I believe we will be front runners come S23 and beyond (S22 will be a retooling season).

The first part on this is our young core. RB Darrel Williams, WR Chris Kross, and WR Asher Quinn are all young skill position players who will carry this offense forward. CB Juan Marston and DT Sardine Beaner are solid cornerstones for our defense.

The next part is our DSFL list of players. We currently have 5 active players in the DSFL right now. QB Fujiwari, TE Lewandowski, RB Skruff, and DE Matt Hole will all play important roles soon for us. And my recreate will be in the league S23 as well.

Finally, draft capital. We currently have a plan in place and the draft capital available to try and shore up all of our holes, which are mainly in the secondary and linebacking core.

All of this will come together starting S23, and hopefully our window will be open for seasons after that as well.

16. Scouting Report
For this task, I’m going to be scouting S23 prospect CJ Riley, who is currently entering the DSFL draft out of the University of Tennessee.

CJ Riley was born and raised in Canada, where he fell in love with football after watching the games as a kid on tv. He was recruited by mostly junior colleges, but had 1 power 5 conference offer from Tennessee. He committed, playing 3 seasons, before declaring early.

Riley is everything you look for in a Defensive End prospect: he has the prototypical physical build, towering at 6’6 and 300 pounds. He has the rare ability to use both strength and speed to attack the passer, while also offering above average run defense. However, his ceiling is higher when he uses his strength rather than his speed.

Riley also has a really good locker room presence, and can be a leader in any DSFL locker room. His work ethic is also almost unmatched when it comes to the league. He’s currently one of the top earning players in the upcoming DSFL draft.

Keep a look out for CJ in the future, as he is sure to be one of the top picks in the coming draft, and a staple of the league for years to come.


13 I interviewed @ValorX77

1. What are your goals for the final season of Leaf’s career?
2. Do you have any DSFL or NSFLs team in mind for your preferred recreate destination?
3. Would you ever consider GMing again after how Chicago went?
4. After 1 year in this league, what are your thoughts on your time here? Any specific moments stand out?

1. The goals for my final season in the national Simulation Football league are quite simple, the first thing is leaf getting at least one Running back of the year, he kinda started out as a quarterback with strong legs rather than a strong arm anyway, so that’s that, quite simple.
2. I personally want Videl to have a different experience than what leaf went through as a player, so that means whoever drafts her, if she likes it or not, she must remain loyal to the team unless the management do something stupid like trading away a first and second round pick for an inactive player.
3. I would love to gm another team one day, despite the reputation that Chicago’s gambles for youth did not pay off because of how much parity is in the league at that moment, but with the new team, I will only do actions that would benefit the team’s future, and not destroy it.
4. It’s crazy that it’s been one year since I joined the national Simulation Football league, I had some crazy moments like the 87 yard touchdown run in the prospect bowl, and of course the craziest point was when I got traded off of Yellowknife to be on Chicago.






14 I was interviewed by Valor

[nunccoepi]

13) Interview a Star

@PDXBaller interviewed me:

1. What do you think were the highlights of this season for the Colorado Yeti as a team?

The highlights were certainly feeling like we were taking a step forward this season. There is a new energy on the team from what I'm told, and you can tell that people are just excited about the future. So, in this way, I think its a good fit for me. This is what I thrive on.

2. What are your favorite plays from the playoff game against YKW?

Definitely my sack. I mean that's the highlight of a defensive end's play. That's why he does what he does and to me there's no better feeling. And for it to happen in a playoff game was extra special. I really felt the tide turning overall after that play, but unfortunately we weren't able to get it done.

3. What are you looking forward to next season?

It's just a great time to be a Yeti. We are a young team too so I'm looking forward to seeing what we can do as a unit, especially with some of the young pups we got like Rotticus Scott and Gronk Robertkowski.

4. What are some of the ways that the Yeti can improve in the off-season?

I think we still have a great roster overall with very few holes. Of course, no one knows what is going to happen with the expansion draft. So that's a real wildcard. But I'm confident in our GMs and that they will find a way for us to pull through it. I think we will focus on game planning as well. Because we really need to win those close games and close a game out when it matters.


14) Get Interviewed by a Fan

I interviewed PDXBaller:

1. As a user how has it been reuniting with a team, the Pythons, with whom you have a long history? How has the team changed since then?

2. What are your thoughts and expectations going into the DSFL playoffs?

3. What are your thoughts and expectations going into the draft?

4. What kind of QB are you trying to create? Are there any QBs in the NSFL or NFL that you are modeling your career after?

15) Superstardom



20) Nostalgia
It would be too hard to try and identify a number 1 best memory in the league, although if I had to choose it would probably be either the first Ultimini @iseedoug and I won or Hawks S10 Ultimus. there was just so much hype for both of them and they both were so long coming. But a top memory that I think back on sometimes is only marginally related to the league and that is the game of werewolf. Its hard to believe that it's been probably close to a year and a half since my first games of werewolf and honestly, It might be like a year since that last time that I played. But (1) it was a blast and (2) I think I was rather good at it. First, for those that don't know, werewolf is a hidden identity game which we played on discord in which all the different characters were given secret roles but were generally divided into two teams--werewolfves and villagers. The werewolves knew who the other werewolves were and the villagers only knew their own identity. Of course most of the players also have special powers and the game progresses as each day the villagers discuss who they think were the wolves and the wolves try to eat the whole village. It was a blast, we went through thousands of discord messages per day, and it was a great way to get to know the other people in the league (although sometimes people took it a little too seriously and actually got upset). So, anyways, apart from just good times with people for that I enjoyed doing well as I think I got the MVP award two games in a row.

[PMoney]

4) OL or K/P Appreciation

Graphic: The Scottish Sensation


5) Hoisting The Trophy

Graphic:



15) Superstardom

Graphic: Madden S22



18) Awards Season

Graphics: Chika MVP

[Jangorhino]

6) Next Year 270 words

The Grey Ducks will win the DSFL next year because they’re a top flight organization with a rich and storied history of success. The Ducks will, potentially, have one of the best QB in the league going into S22. Zack Vega is a total beast with more than 400 TPE already! Behind Zack Vega is a top ten S22 QB poised to make a huge jump in the offseason. Sim SnowBow came on strong in S22 and he is focused on stepping into the spotlight in S22. Along with the potential depth at QB, The Grey Ducks have used their lack of success this year to retrain their focus and double their efforts heading into S22. All the talk in the locker room has been on getting back into the playoffs next year. The Ducks are hungry again, and that’s bad news for the rest of the league. With a few well-planned adjustments, some shrewd roster moves, and their bullet proof draft strategy; the Ducks plan to retake the DSFL Ultimus in S22. All of the previously mentioned reasons will be part of The Grey Ducks return to playoff success in S22, but the main reason is the locker room. The Grey Ducks have assembled an amazing cast of characters in Minnesota. These guys mesh, they’re dedicated, they’re supportive, and most of all they want to win! S21 was a regrouping year and that’s what The Grey Ducks have done. They have regrouped and are now strong enough to contend. Look for big things from this group going heading towards the draft and into S22. You heard it here first!

7) Robbed 240 words

The Grey Ducks were robbed in S21! This team was stacked from the top to the bottom of the roster with big time earners. From their quarterback with over 400 TPE to their deep running back squad and their amazing secondary. This team was loaded in S21! It’s unconscionable to think these guys didn’t make the playoffs. Along with the star studded roster, the Grey Ducks had leadership in place with the winning playoff experience required to make the run. This combination of talent and leadership does not mesh with the win loss totals in S21. The incongruity can only be explained with a conspiracy theory.
The only reason they didn’t make it this year was because an insurmountable glut of penalties in the middle of the season and the sim. The sim was excessively skewed towards home teams in S21 it seemed. The Grey Ducks struggled more than anyone with this lack of accuracy from the sim. The league undertook clandestine operations aimed at dethroning the Grey Ducks. The sim was manipulated as such the Grey Ducks would not repeat. The league was exhausted from taking continual ass beatings and they acted nefariously to ensure the Grey Ducks demise. While this is solely editorial conjecture on my part, the lack of success in Minnesota does seem rather conspicuous. The outcome of S21 in the DSFL has raised more than a few eyebrows in the Land of a Thousand Lakes.

12) Pay It Forward 222 words

Dewalt27 has become a mentor to me in the NSFL and is now an integral component to Mario VonPebble’s success. Through his seemingly tireless devotion to player development and morale improvement, Dewalt27 has built one hell of a locker room in Minnesota! He’s got those boys dedicated and having fun!
Beginning with Mario VonPebbles’ personal journey into the NSFL, Dewalt27 has always been there. Starting with pre-draft scouting, Dewalt27 has led me with a steady and reassuring hand. Dewalt27 has always taken the extra time with me to ensure Mario’s success. Dewalt27 has always been gracious in walking me through, step by step, all the intricate machinations required to become successful. Dewalt27 has always reminded me to be honest and supported me to be true to myself. It’s inspiring now to look back at all the work Dewalt27 has done with me and with all the Grey Ducks this season. Among the wins and all the losses, Dewalt27 has been steadfast in his approach with the team.
Through levelheaded, lighthearted, and supremely dedicated methods; Dewalt27 has helped me build a solid foundation while allowing me the freedom to express myself. Dewalt27 and all the Grey Ducks leadership, for that matter, have ensured buy in and longevity from myself and all the other S22 rookies in our locker room this year. WELL DONE!

17) Sponsorships 233 words

Mario VonPebbles is a bit of a loose cannon and he loves to have fun. His past transgressions and admitted performance enhancing drug use have really limited his sponsorship opportunities.
We understand Mario is not a role model and we understand is his football greatness. Therefore, it is with great pride and excitement we here at Four Loko are pleased to announce Mario VonPebbles as our new spokesman heading into Ultimus Week and into the S22.
Mario is a bad motherfucker and so is Four Loko!
The first Mario VonPebbles based advertisement will be a television spot. The spot will start with Mario in a post-game interview with the press. At the table will be Mario, a microphone, and a can of delicious, cold Four Loko. One of the reporters will ask Mario about his time in Lithuanian prison and this will infuriate Mario. Instead of flipping the table over and walking out of the press conference like normal, Mario will chug the can of Four Loko and simply say, “fuck you next question!” Then fade to black and the Four Loko logo appears on the screen and Mario’s voice again, “fuck you next question.” Then across the bottom of the screen, “because he’s a bad motherfucker and so are we” will flash.
Look forward to new flavors from Four Loko heading into Ultimus week, such as Booty Juice and Dick Sweat! Four Loko!!

[AL_GRINGO]

12) Pay It Forward
Written: Write about someone in this league who you look up to or who you think of as a friend. Why do they deserve to be lauded?

When I think of possible friends in the NSFL there are a couple guys that come to mind. All of them happen to be in the Tijuana Luchadores locker room with me and have really shown to be cool and great people. If I have to narrow it down, I would pick Ugarth The Dissector and slothfacekilla. Both of these guys have been really cool from the second I joined the Tijuana Luchadores team. Not only have they helped me to understand the league more and what it takes to be a top earner they have also kept the locker room lively and fun. When it comes to sim sports leagues, I feel like personalities are the most important thing and both of these guys have contagious personalities. People gravitate to them naturally. I want to point out also the fact that Ugarth the Dissector went out of his way to get our team to pump out media for cash when our team was in the playoff hunt late in the season. He offered a $5 donation to a charity of choice for the first couple players that wrote media that week. It was such a great proposal I offered to match every $5 he spent. We ended up donated $40 between the both of us and our teammates were able to upgrade their equipment.

16) Scouting Report
Written: Write a scouting report for one of the incoming draftees in either the NSFL or DSFL.

So for this scouting report I want to show love to one of guys who I think is going to be a BEAST offensive lineman in the NSFL. That player is my teammate and homie Calvin Golladay. This guy has almost 90 strength and his pass and run blocking is over 70. At 184 TPE he is one of the top young offensive linemen in the league. One thing that sets him apart from others is what he brings to the locker room. He is consistently active on discord and with other players on the Tijuana Luchadores. He really is a team leader and was rewards as such by being named the team captain this season. When we had a great game or a bad game he was always there ready to help any of us on the team. I think that is really valuable for a team because that type of mentality can help a team from slipping into a dark spot mentally when things are going shitty. I am not sure if he will be on a NSFL roster next season or back down with the Tijuana Luchadores but either way this guy is a homerun for the upcoming draft. He has the mix of a top earner and a winning attitude.

17) Sponsorships
Written: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?

So a company is in need of a sponsorship and want to have George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher as the spokesperson. Since George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher used to be the lead singer of a death metal band I only think it is appropriate for him to sponsor a music related product. I think he would be a great choice to sponsor Ibanez guitars. These guitars have been around for a long time and are favorites of many different rock metal guitarist. I think the add will open with a scene of a dark room and heavy guitar riffs being played. As the lights go on in the room you see George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher appear in full pads headbanging. As the ad continues they would cut from shots of the newest Ibanez guitars being played and shots of George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher dominating on the field. The transitions between the two shots could be timed to go with the beat of the drums in the song playing. The song will continue to speed up until at the end it cuts to a close up of George ‘Corpsegrinder’ Fisher and he says the following tag line: “When I am not grinding corpses on the field I am grinding riffs on my Ibanez.’

19) Team Culture
Written: What is it about your team’s culture and/or locker room that makes you happy to be there? If there are any problems, what do you think should be done to improve them?

I have been a part of many different sim leagues since joining the Professional Baseball Experience back in November of last year and the Tijuana Luchadors Locker Room is one of the best I have ever been in. The culture of the team is so inviting but also lets everyone be themselves. We like to see each other as a band of misfits all brought together for the love of football. I am a General Manager in the Professional Baseball Experience and I have already starting to implement some of the things I saw in the Tijuana Locker room. For instance, they have set up a TPE Notification role in their discord to let players know about when stuff is ready to be claimed and other TPE earning opportunities. This is great because it gives new players a ping but also doesn't piss off your veterans who don't want to be pinged for everything. I have found the best success is letting people be who they are in a safe comfortable environment and the Luchadores have one fo the coolest and fun locker rooms in all the sim leagues. I hope to never leave their locker room even when my player moves on to the NSFL.

[Muford]

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/ind...ndpost&p=162423

PBE Welfare

4) OL or K/P Appreciation

There’s one special offensive lineman in my heart, and that man is Givussafare Rubbe, Offensive Lineman of the New Orleans Second Line and my bestest friend that plays Offensive Lineman. This man, Givussafare Rubbe, has been fighting for Offensive Linemen since he recreated as one back in Season 18, after retiring Stud Chad Pennington. The agent, caltroit_red_flames is one in a million and easily one of the most down to earth and sexiest men out there, and Givussafare Rubbe is also the same. The man is a monster, standing at 6’7 and 340 pounds, the guy is a beast. He eats defensive linemen for breakfast, brunch, lunch, supper, dinner, snack, and desert. The man has not allowed a sack in God knows how long, but rumor has it, the last sack he allowed was in the DSFL back in Season 18. Givussafare Rubbe has propelled the New Orleans Second Line to the Ultimus and potentially will propel them to an Ultimus win. Rubbe’s Agent also is one of the best people in the world to have in your locker room, he brings such a strong energy, and is always there to strengthen friendship when there is none to be had. All in all, he is a great Offensive Lineman you want on your team.

(214 words)

19) Team Culture

Even though I only spent one season in Colorado, because I took a General Manager Job for the Chicago Butchers, The Colorado Yeti’s Team Culture is one of the best I’ve been apart of since the beginning of this league. I’ve been around since Season 1 as a Waiver Pick up on my original player, and I’ll tell you this, the Colorado Yeti bring something that I haven’t felt in a team’s locker room for a long time. They are so welcoming, so friendly, so helpful, but they are also about shooting the shit and just all around being a dope fucking place. I was only there for a season, but I never ran into a single issue there, except for the fact that I left to GM somewhere else. Frick_Nasty and woelkers have a friendship like no other, it reminds me back to the San Jose Sabercats when we won the Ultimus in Season 14. The team is so tight, but at the same time any newcomer can come in and fit right the fuck in. They welcomed me with open arms, and honestly, for a moment I thought I wasn’t going to get the GM job in Chicago, I was 110% on board in staying in Colorado for my career. What a wonderful place.

(216 words)

20) Nostalgia

Season 14 and Season 15 were easily probably one of my happiest moments in the NSFL. Besides the fact that I left Head Office, which was a wonderful thing in itself, we finally brought home an Ultimus Trophy to the San Jose Sabercats after the team had been around since Season 1. It was great to bring home an Ultimus with so many of my close friends, like sweetwater, ErMurazor, caltroit_red_flames, Ckroyal92, blastmeaway, to12143, keygan and so many more. We lost some great friends in the process, like iseedoug had left to GM the Baltimore Hawks, but we kept his wife, mabb, and their dog. That was one of the best, most exciting wins I’ve had the pleasure of being in, in my multiple leagues throughout the years. I would say that San Jose Team was more fun to be apart then the Season 45 Edmonton Blizzard who set records that might never be broken. That San Jose team was just so much fun to be around, the locker room, the environment, and we were able to hang out and just be great throughout the whole time. We stuck together as a team and were able to fight through adversity, and the league hating us the whole fucking way.

(209 words)

[muse316]

Playoff Review:

The Norfolk vs Myrtle Beach game started off with a lot of anticipation as the Seawolves fans dreamed of a Cinderella story to bring the Ultimini trophy home for the first time. The game opened up with the Panda’s kickoff return for an excellent 14 yards followed by a new collection of downs. Unfortunately, a false start penalty and a few short rushes and incompletion ended the offense’s turn, and the Norfolk Seawolves were unable to recover for the rest of the game.

We fear that Skywalker had the jitters during his first playoff game in the DSFL. He was unable to make his connections with Koh and his other players as well as he had in the regular season. This, combined with a several sacks, left Luke at the end of the game with zero TDs, only 89 yards (less than the 100+ yard games he had been throwing throughout most of the season), and only 7/19 in completions.

When considering the Seawolves, we could also see that the team was a younger, rawer team in this playoff match, and it showed. The Norfolk defense, while performing admirably, failed to put up any sacks, and the Seawolves had several unnecessary penalties, from offside calls to unnecessary roughness.

There is no doubt that the Seawolves are an amazing team. They have a strong leader and a vaunted defense that, with another year under their belt, would unquestionably go on to win the Ultimini in future years. Norfolk just needs another season to let their rookie quarterback grow up, and then the powerhouse of the Seawolves will undoubtedly be unbeatable.

(269 words)


Team Culture:

The Norfolk’s locker room is always fun to be in. As soon as you walk through the double doors that guard the Seawolves in their glory, you’re greeted with cheers, encouragement, and slaps on the back. A few players and their managers often stick around after workouts are over to chew the spit, as it were, with IsaStarcrossed and Gucci just sharing stories of their favorite Pokemon (especially when they look chubby) and players encouraging or coaching their teammates who are struggling with classes taken outside of practice.
The wholesomeness of the locker room isn’t just limited to non-NSFL activities, however. It’s no secret that the DSFL is often a platform for players to use to join the major league NSFL, and often, teammates who are left behind or who are competing for the same position attempt to bring more successful players down with harsh words or disinterest. There are stories of teams who purposefully sabotage teammates in interviews/trivia, and such actions are encouraged within the locker room. The Norfolk Seawolves are entirely the opposite, where teammates support each other and cheer each other on. If a player notices that a teammate might be lacking in a skill set, they’ll be sure to pull that friend aside and help them beef up their stats. If a player is feeling down or stressed about the game, the others in the locker room will be sure to encourage the player and show them how to improve for future games.
The Norfolk culture is ideal for inspiring young players and should be used as an example for others.

(265 words)


Scouting Report:

Luke Skywalker is an impressive candidate for the NSFL. Coming in at 6’4” and 200 lbs, the young quarterback had an all-star college career at the University of Michigan. Skywalker was a starter his junior year, where he put up 3970 yards with a 74 percent pass completion and 38 yards to lead the Wolverines to their first Rose Bowl win in 7 years. His senior year had Skywalker lead the Wolverines to the College Championship playoffs where the team lost to Alabama in the championship game.

During Skywalker’s rookie season at the DSFL, Luke also showed great skills in both leadership and being a quarterback. He finished his first year as the quarterback for the Norfolk Seawolves with 1364 yards, 12 touchdowns, and a passer rating of 73.4. While Skywalker did have 7 interceptions, Luke is working on increasing his intelligence in the game to try and drive down that number for future seasons.

At the end of the regular season, Skywalker was nominated to be the DSFL All Pro Second Team QB, and there have been talks of Skywalker being nominated for several awards in the S21 DSFL Award season, including quarterback of the year, offensive rookie of the year, and even performance of the year.

Skywalker is considered a good S22 QB prospect. Skywalker needs to improve on his intelligence and arm, although his accuracy has been lauded by his teammates. Skywalker is not the fastest in the pocket but has put up 40 rushing yards. He will serve as a good backup quarterback for any team looking to cultivate a young QB for their team.

(269 words)


Sponsorship:

During the COVID-19 quarantine, Skywalker was known to encourage his teammates to send out cards to the elderly and the young to keep up their town’s spirits. This action brought Luke to the attention of NotEvilCardPeople, a greeting card company, who reached out to the young quarterback to play a role in their Ultimus commercial.

The ad opens with a young boy, maybe 13 or 14, staring out an upstairs bedroom window, clearly bored. He has in his hand a football, which he absent-mindedly tosses from one hand to the other. His mother calls him downstairs, saying that she has a surprise. The boy sighs, throws his football on the bed, and comes downstairs. He sits down at the kitchen table and asks his mom what the surprise is. Suddenly, Skywalker breaks through the wall, picks up the boy in a big bear hug, and says “HELLO!”. He puts the boy down, tells the boy to be good, listen to his mom, and have a good day, before running out the broken wall. The boy grins from ear-to-ear and laughs.

Another scene opens up, but this time it’s a little girl, maybe 5 or 6, watching NSFL on TV. She flips through the channels, bored, when her dad calls out “hey kid, mail is here!”. The little girl turns off the TV and walks into the foyer when suddenly, BAM, the door flies off and Skywalker is there. He again picks up the girl, gives her a big hug, and says “HELLO!”. He then runs out the broken door while the girl starts laughing.

Final scene, but this time it’s in a nursing home in Virginia where a group of residents are chatting about the last Norfolk game. They seem bored or lonely when suddenly, Skywalker smashes through a wall and says “HELLO!” He gives each resident a giant bear hug and throws them all a football before running out.

The ad ends with a scene of each person, but now their walls/doors are intact, and each person is holding a greeting card from Skywalker and smiling. The ad ends with “you might not be able to hug them, but you can let them know they’re being loved. Send a card.”

(371 words)

[Starboy]

4) OL or K/P Appreciation



11) Rivalry



12) Pay It Forward

There are a few people in this league that I look up to from back when I first joined almost a year ago. It is crazy to think that I’m coming up on a year in the league and that there are just a handful of people that have helped me along the way. One of those major helpers in the league has been @Frick_Nasty , who was my first NSFL GM and has shown me a great deal of positives with sticking through the tough times. My first two seasons with the Yeti were tough and not exactly the best things to go through after making it to the DSFL playoffs just the season before. However, during those times, Frick always wanted us to know that things were going to get better and would hype up even my measly games and low TPE. Eventually we managed to turn things around and I have taken what I learned from Frick as a GM in order to use that for my own GMing. There have definitely been some low points in my first season as a GM and some personal challenges have gotten in the way, but I just keep trying to think back to the times that I was in a much worse spot in the league and that Frick still wanted ol’ Joshua Palmer and Armor King to be the best.

17) Sponsorships

[DrChops]

1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
That Otters-Second Line game was a game to remember, and one particular moment stuck out to me. Its overtime in the conference championship game. It has been a hard fought game for all four quarters, the Second line took an early 17-3 lead in the first half, but the Otters made a furious comeback in the second half to tie the game at 24 and send it to overtime. Second Line wins the coin flip and gets the ball first. The drive looked promising at first, but ran out of steam just past mid-field and had to settle for a long 46 yard field goal. The kicker, Prohaska, nailed the long kick, taking the lead and sending putting the weight of the game on the Otter’s offense. The Otter’s offense, led by (in my opinion) the future hall of fame QB Franklin Armstrong, took the field after a big return by K. Dream. That is when the Second Line defense put together one of the best defensive stands this season. Armstrong had a bad game, but looked lost in overtime with the Second Line give him massive struggles. The game defining play came on a 3rd and 4 at mid-field when Franklin dropped back to pass and was sacked by Mason Blaylock, a play that effectively sealed the road win for the Second line and punched their ticket to the Ultimus.

6) Next Year
The Pythons had an incredible season by any standard. Last season, they finished 2-12, the worst record in the DSFL. This year, the Pythons strung together an impressive 8-6, good enough for the final playoff spot in the NFC North. The Pythons defense was the driving force to the Python’s resurgence, allowing a league low 221 points during the regular season. Additionally, the Pythons lead the league in tackles for a loss and interceptions, making them a fearsome unit that any offense would hate to face. However, during the first round of the playoff, the defense ran into some issues in the form of penalties. While I do not have the exact numbers, the Pythons defense was penalized for almost 100 yards. To win it all next year, the Pythons defense needs to spend more TPE on intelligence. The lack of intelligence showed by the Pythons defense in the biggest game of the year is what lead to their early exit from the post season. Similarly, the Python’s QB O’Donnell lead the league in interceptions during the regular season with 16. The Pythons need cleaner play from the QB during the regular season so that they can play their playoff games at home, not on the road.

8) Revenge
There are plenty of teams that I really want to get revenge on after this season. As a member of the Portland Pythons, we were sent packing in the playoffs by the Kansas City Coyotes, so they are an obvious choice. Another contender would be the Norfolk Seawolves, who beat the Pythons twice in the regular season, the first game being a 30 point blowout. However, the team I am going to circle on the calendar when S22’s schedule comes out is the Minnesota Grey Ducks. The Grey Ducks in both meetings with the Pythons during the regular season, removing any hope that the Pythons would get home field during the playoffs. This is particularly maddening because the Grey Ducks only had 6 total wins on the season, meaning that 33% of their total wins came from the Pythons. Both games that the Pythons lost against the Grey Ducks was painfully close, 14-10 and 7-6. The last game was particularly painful, as the Pythons had the ball at the Grey Duck’s red zone in the fourth quarter down 7-3. On fourth down, the coach of the Pythons decided to go for a field goal instead of going for it, which made completely no sense. The Pythons ended up losing that game while only allowing the Grey Ducks to score once, which was what propelled them to being the main target of my revenge.

17) Sponsorships
Being the back up defensive tackle for the Portland Pythons did not make Hank Steel a hot commodity for sponsors. Interest perked a little bit when the Pythons made the Ultmini tournament which allowed for Hank to get a small sponsorship deal with a local grocery store that specialized in exotic food. Hank’s background on a cattle ranch made him particularly viable for this sponsorship, as he spent most of his early years working with tending to the ranch. However, he was surprised to find that the grocery store that he signed with did not serve any meat, it was completely vegan. Further, Hank’s agent forgot to mention that Hank was looking for a sponsorship, not a job. The grocery was not interested in sponsoring anyone, but in getting someone to dress up in their mascot, a giant version of their signature vegan tacos, and greet customers as they walked into the store. Since Hank did not read the contract before signing, he was contractually obligated to work as the taco mascot for at least two weeks. This was particularly different as Hank did not fit into their stock mascot costume, so he had to cut open the sides of the costume so that he could squeeze in. He was eventually fired by the grocery after people walking into the store complained about his bad smell.

[Troen]

1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
Written: Give a short write up of one or multiple playoff matches. If completed before the airing of the sims, give your predictions; if it is afterwards, give a review of the game.

This is my first year in the DSFL and it's started off well by getting drafted by Myrtle Beach and heading to the Ultimini after our win over the Seawolves. It started off a little rough for us, but on our second posession we had pass plays of 18 and 32 yards along with 10 and 11 yard rushes to set up and Apollo TD which ended up being the only one of the game. Our kicker Solarin missed the extra point attempt, but then made 4 more field goals to give us 18 points for the day. And luckily for us, that ended up being enough as the defence held Norfolk without a score. I didn't have my best game (a sack and one other tackle) but we held the Seawolves' offense to under 200 yards and QB Skywalker to just 7/19 with 94 passing yards. A shutout win like that in the playoffs you have to enjoy, but I think there's still a lot of areas we can improve on for next week's Utlimini game vs Kansas City. For one, we had a few penalties we should have been able to avoid, especially the tripping call in the 3rd quarter that could have been a real momentum changer. Despite playing at home, we had some more of the offsides penalties that have been dogging us all season. RB Frost raised a few more questions with another fumble after closing out the regular season with one, but his 113 rushing yards were more than half of our rushing offense. I still am happy we're at home rather than away after playing some tough games against the Coyotes this season, but it's going to be a tough one.

10) Armchair GM
Written: What moves could your team make to improve for the next year, be it in free agency, keeping players, the draft, etc. (Please be careful to avoid tampering.)

366

The depth of the S22 draft class has been pointed out many times, especially with the upcoming expansion of the NSFL in the form of the Sailfish and the Hahalua. However, what few people have talked about so far is the depth of the S23 draft and how it will need to take over in the DSFL for the S22 players who are starting in the NSFL next year. Right now, there are 28 S23 players to follow up the ~285 players looking to be in the S22 NSFL draft. I expect a few more to be created before the draft actually begins with those retiring after the playoffs are over, However, the number of players who have announced retirement is much closer to 10 than 200, so what's our fearless GM to do?
The first step will of course be scouting. In a smaller class, it's possible to spend more time with each potential draft pick to assess them for activity and interest. The other important part in conjunction with that is to understand which players on the team will be drafted and called up next year. Players called up obviously can't be part of your team next year, so understanding if they're getting drafted to start in the NSFL or to be stashed until S23 will be critical to help DSFL GMs understand what their returning options are going to look like. I haven't personally done a mock for the DSFL class, but that's got to be something the GMs have to consider too, to understand what kind of talent they'll be able to be picking up after their scouting is over. Given the expansion and smaller S23 class, I have to think the GMs need to prepare to be competing with a lower level of talent, but it's even more important to be flexible with the different ways that the scenrarious can end up playing out.

17) Sponsorships
Written: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?

I have an upcoming announcement for this, but one of my goals for the offseason is to put on more weight. As a result of that, I've been in contact with Twix about being their new spokesperson due to their desire to reach a younger audience such as those who watched me play football in college. And to be clear, I'm not saying that Twix as-is will make you gain weight - they're instead going to be a good break from my carefully-crafted high protein diet which is mostly steamed cod and green vegetables. So instead, the advertising campaign is going to show how Twix is a very effective treat as a break slash reward from when you're doing well nutritionally in your daily eating. Tons of my college classmates (and not just the football players) spent time every day in the gym and so I think that taking a Twix Break ™ will be a good way for them to have an overall healthier life which balances enjoyment and edible options. The first ad campaign we've been discussing is to show my normal daily 7 hour exercise routine (featuring equipment from the official equipment sponsor of the NSFL, Teeps Protective Equipment) which then ends by having a Twix. And to be clear, just one (a left) to show that Twix are good in moderation too.
To be fair, the other reason I had my agent reach out to Twix is that a really love them. Caramel with chocolate is amzing, and the cruchy cookie part too just makes it great. Twix icecream is actually my favorite, but it's harder to fit that into my diet nutritionally.

19) Team Culture
Written: What is it about your team’s culture and/or locker room that makes you happy to be there? If there are any problems, what do you think should be done to improve them?

I was recently honored by my teammates by being elected as one of this year's team captains and I like to think that's because I am able to bring a steadying presence to the team. I was once called "the emotional anchor of the team" which I hope is not saying I drag everyone down and instead a reflection that I help keep everyone on an even keel and moving forward for smooth sailing.
(As a side note, we should totally have a team sailing trip)
So anyway, my goals even before I was team captain were to try to ensure that anyone who had questions got the answers they needed, to try an help foster a positive atmosphere even in the face of losses, and to have fun. Most of all the DSFL teams are new to professional football and I think everyone has a lot of questions, such as how we should deal with sick teammates. In college that kind of question is deferred to the coaches and college's medican staff, but in the DSFL there's much more of an ability and need for players to help ensure that those who are sick are getting the treatment they need and not playing when sick to endanger their teammate and themselves. For dealing with losses - well, a lot of the players in the pros are coming from college teams where a single loss for a 12-1 season was considered a failure, or at least a bad sign. So helping those players understand that it's perfectly fine to take losses and that the key isn't our record but the effort we put in in preparation and execution. I think that's important to ensure the lock room is good going forward.
And lastly, fun. I know it's quite a privilege that I'm able to professionally play football, but the day that it's just a job to me is the day I have to consider retiring. Enjoying every moment of my time with my team and on the field is critical to me in that regards, and I do what I can to demonstrate how I'm having fun and to try and lighten up things when I can. My specialty in that realm is bad puns, but I also do what I can to ensure that when others are deep in work that they get spelled for times to have a mental break and reset before diving back in. I think that helps balance the hard parts of being on the team and lead to fun which ultimately helps us win too.