(S23) - Ultimus Week

[Jay_Doctor]

Teams are not made in a day. In fact, teams are not generally made any less than 2 or 3 seasons at a minimum generally speaking. There are always exceptions to the rule of course. Las Vegas Knights in hockey are the most obvious answer in recent times that comes to mind. In an established league, though, that is going to be the rare exception and certainly not the norm. Still, there are a lot of times when a particular offseason completely changes the fortune of a team. The S19 offseason is one that was critical to the New Orleans Second Line. Before I really dive into what made S18 so great, I want to show the groundwork that was already in place. S18 was one of the biggest classes and came with a lot of hype to it. New Orleans started a major part of an eventual championship team done by the work of players from the S18 class. Names such as David Rector, Marcella Turiki, Givussafare Rubbe and Bjorn Ironside were all vital pieces. Other key players such as linebackers Bode and Slothface, along with quarterback Stan Francisco and all pro running back Forrest Gump were all primed to be in great contention for an Ultimus. With a big S18 class came a lot of teams with top talent, though. Teams like Yellowknife, Colorado and Orange County also have their fair of top talent from this class. It’s no surprise that all four of these teams have won Ultimus’ since that draft. But enough of the backstory, let us look at the S19 draft.

The S19 class was different than the previous season in almost every way. There were only a grand total of 33 players that were NSFL ready (yes I said NSFL, that’s what it was at this point in the league). In comparison. S18 had 111 players that were drafted into the NSFL. Through moves from a season before, New Orleans found themselves with 3 first round picks in the draft. These were acquired through skilled maneuvers, in part from certain high name players that wanted out at the time. Action Jackson and Thud Castle, each high value players, wanted to leave for different reasons. This lead to New Orleans committing to its future by acquiring multiple picks in what turned out to be a tiny class. Once the draft came about, those picks became the first, third and eighth pick of the draft. With the first pick, the Second Line grabbed LB Mack Arianlacher. Mack was a top talent out of Tijuana who was liking to make an immediate impact at the next level. At pick three, New Orleans got the top earner in the class in Tight End Austin McCormick. It was later on mentioned that there was a fear that San Jose were interested in Mack, so the best strategy was to take him at one with little fear of McCormick going to a team that didn’t really need a tight end. Another team could have traded up of course, but they would have paid a heavy price. The Second Line came back at pick 8 and took safety Mason Blaylock. There were some GMs who weren’t really aware of the young safety at the time (notably that they skipped over him for a troublesome player), but he wouldn’t go unheard of for long.

After the first round finished up, NOLA actually traded up (if memory serves me correct) and grabbed Jed Podolak. He was an under-the-radar running back who created later in the season, so his TPE was deceptive. He was a big earner and great locker room presence from the start. To finish things out, New Orleans wound up with an active earning kicker later in the draft.

This S19 class would prove to be the absolute cream of the crop, bar none. At one point, NOLA had 3 of the top 5 players in the class, including the overall #1 player. It is hard to pinpoint the very peak of the team, but I also recall it being as strong as 4 of the top 7. This group of young players all earned well, especially the first four mentioned before. It took a couple of seasons to put everything together, but the culmination of all this talent lead to New Orleans making the conference finals three seasons in a row (one technically before S19) and an Ultimus victory in season 21. The timing could not have been more perfect, as an expansion loomed on the horizon for the NSFL. Right after the S21 championship. The expansion was announced. Two new teams would be joining the topflight and with it an expansion draft would follow. This draft would hurt some teams more than others, but NOLA was among the teams to get hit hardest. They had the most young talent and were unable to protect everyone. Of course, this is the whole point of an expansion is to help redistribute talent to the newcomers and help them become competitive sooner than later. Two of the first picks in the expansion were none other than Mack and Jed respectively. 2 of the top 4 players of that S19 class joined Honalulu. Just like that, the band was torn apart. It was a sad moment for the team, but we all understood it was the way it goes sometimes.

When I look at the TPE tracker to this day and sort by S19, I still see my fellow rookies and we rank in the top 8. Regardless of what team is listed next to their name, I will always remember them as part of the class that helped bring NOLA a championship. I can only hope that a future NOLA class coming in gets to have that same experience.

[SabaDonutMan]

6) The playoffs have finally arrived. Choose one playoff team that is not your own from either league and recount how they got here in 400 words or more. What challenges and hurdles did they face in the regular season? Did they cruise into home field advantage or have to fight off contenders for the wild card? Are they led by MVP players on offense, or is a stifling defense the engine to their success? Don’t be afraid to go deep.

Instead of writing about one of the best teams in the league like I usually do, today I will be writing about one of the more average teams in the league that finally broke their playoff drought in S23. Yes, today I will be writing about the Philadelphia Liberty. Now the last time that the Liberty made a serious run into the playoffs was in S16 where they made a run to the Ultimus in which they barely lost to the Arizona Outlaws in a shootout that ended with a score of 34 to 30. Unfortunately, after making such a deep run into the playoffs they immediately had issues in the front office. One of their newest GMs, Vander Jones, decided to quit the league in a fit of rage and left the team gmless for a while. Due to this on top of many of their top players hitting regression their record immediately took a hit. For the next six seasons the Liberty struggled heavily and were usually picking in the top three. Luckily, due to these picks they were able to get some great young players that will be relevant later. Then we get to season 22. The Liberty had playoff hopes but unfortunately they finished with a 6-7 record which was tied with Sarasota for third in the NSFC. However, Sarasota had the tiebreaker over the Liberty which led to the Liberty missing the playoffs. That being said, that season showed that the Liberty were inching closer and closer to a playoff berth and many people predicted that S23 would be their season to break through and make the playoffs. Many of the young players that they had picked in the previous seasons were hitting their primes, most notably their quarterback Brock Phoenix. Their week one matchup was against the reigning champions, the Colorado Yeti. Most people expected them to lose, which they did, however most people also didn’t expect the game to be as close as it was. The Yeti were barely able to win with a score of 19-17. This gave the liberty players hope that they would be able to make the playoffs this season. They took a huge hit in week two though as they barely lost to the Butchers at home with a score of 19-17. In week three they rebounded in the most epic way in a dominating win over the Hawks with the final score being 51-17. They kept this momentum going as they proceeded to beat Sarasota. Their win streak ended in week 5 however at the hands of the Yellowknife Wraiths. This pattern described most of their season. They would go on win streaks of two before proceeding to lose about two games in a row. Going into week ten their record was 4-6 and they knew that they needed to make a late season push if they wanted to make the playoffs. They proceeded to win 5 out of their 7 last games to secure a spot in the playoffs with a record of 9 and 7 and just like that their playoff drought was over.


9) Pick any position, and determine who in your view is the greatest player to ever suit up at that position. Why do you view them as the GOAT? What achievements, records, accolades, or statistics do they hold? How do they stack up against the other legends in their position, and why does your chosen candidate come out on top?

As a wide receiver I think it makes the most sense that I would talk about the goat in that position. Before I come to any conclusions however, we need to talk about the nominees for GOAT wide receiver. Now the first player that has to be brought up with is Bradley Westfield. Bradley was a part of the original S1 class and was drafted by the Orange County Otters with the 72nd pick. He immediately became one of their top wide receivers and finished that season with 983 yards and 8 touchdowns. For the rest of his 10 season career his yards per season steadily improved until it hit a peak of 1756 and then went back down to 983. By the end of his career he finished with 13457 receiving yards and 109 receiving touchdowns. These career totals were both second on the career leaderboards for their respective stats. That being said, he is second in both these categories to one man, Trey Willie. Trey was a part of the S2 class and was consistently one of the best wide receivers every season. Throughout his 12 season career he averaged 1201 receiving yards per season 10 receiving touchdowns. He clearly deserves to be a candidate for the GOAT wide receiver. Now my final candidate may be a bit controversial but I do think he deserves to be in contention for the GOAT. My final candidate is Vincent “Vinny” Valentine. Now I know that Vinny Valentine barely scratched the top 10 for receiving yards and receiving touchdowns but he made it nonetheless. However, he is one of the only wide receivers to ever win offensive player of the year along with Vladimir Fyodorovich and James Bishop. Now this can’t be the only reason he is in consideration for being the GOAT wide receiver. Another important aspect of his career is that during the prime of his career he had to play with a shorter schedule compared to Westfield and Willie and still put up very similar stats. So now that we’ve talked about our three GOAT candidates I think that it is time to choose which will be crowned as the official GOAT of the wide receiver position. The official GOAT is….. (Drum Roll Please).... Vinny Valentine. Why did I choose Vinny? Multiple reasons really. First off, for almost the entirety of his career he was a contender for Wide Receiver of the Year and he even took the award home three times. Not to mention that he didn’t have the advantage of being a part of an early class and playing a lot of low TPE cornerbacks and safeties. Not to mention that Unicorn is my GM and will release me if I don’t pick him and that’s why Vinny Valentine is the GOAT Wide Receiver.

[Baron1898]

Task 10
To me personally, there is never going to be a more tragically missed opportunity - and more dominant forgotten team - than that of the S14 San Antonio Marshals. A few seasons before the rebrand and franchise relocation to Minnesota, the Marshals were captained by legendary sim god timeconsumer as GM. Before the season started, the league experienced what was at the time one of the largest and most important draft classes of all time - the S15 r/nfl crop. TC’s early draft selections, specifically the five Marshal picks of the first six rounds, ended up forming the backbone of the forthcoming season’s dominance. I am of course referring to the Fabulous Five, all five of which turned out to be incredible players and still active league mainstays. On offense, fourth overall pick Morgan Marshall (hey that’s me!) played at receiving back. The other four picks were all on the defensive side: Nero Alexander, a DE from shadyshoelace; Quenton Bode and Mo Berry, two LBs from hippo and frick respectively; and Walt Green, Duilio’s safety. It wouldn’t take long for these picks to translate into one of the highest scoring DSFL teams of all time. The S14 San Antonio Marshals went 13-1 on the season, with the only loss coming on a goal line interception in Week 8 on the road against the Portland Pythons. TC’s quarterback Cooter Bigsby took the helm on offense, but in true San Antonio tradition, it was the running game that shined. Morgan Marshall and IA Max Vaz notched over 1500 and 1100 rushing yards especially, with the former tying the then-DSFL record for touchdowns from scrimmage with 19. The receiving weapons were solid if unspectacular, with meme lord and Gimmy prophet Mister Big Chest leading the charge. It was the defense who shined. Walt Green and Vander Jones tied for the league lead in interceptions, and the entire defense stifled opponents left and right, frequently leading to blowouts. But it wouldn’t be eligible for this task if it all ended happily. The Marshals naturally landed the first seed of the conference and home field advantage for the Ultimini, if they could just win a home game against the Tijuana Luchadores - a team they went 4-0 against in the regular season. It did not turn out so well. The offense didn’t get much going and the defense couldn’t stop the Luchadores attack, especially Forrest Gump’s long rushing touchdown. Thank god the Pythons won the Ultimini or this would sting a hell of a lot more.

Task 11
There are a ton of potential scandals to draw upon here, but I’ll actually focus on a relatively smaller drama that ended up not really etched into the public memory - the feud between Rose Jenkins and Ryan Leaf Jr. Flash back to the S14 Prospect Bowl, an incredibly hyped event showcasing many of these outstanding rookies who would go on to define an era of the league. For such a large class, only one quarterback has really made an impact in Franklin Armstrong, but two other viable candidates originally stood with Brock Landers and Ryan Leaf Jr. Leaf was a noted figure in the class already, due to Valor’s personality, but he became something of a meme when he scored an 87 yard rushing touchdown in the Prospect Bowl. He also became something of a locker room issue when the Kansas City Coyotes decided to pick him up in the draft. Kansas City already had a quarterback, Rose Jenkins, so league rules dictated that both quarterbacks needed to get a fair distribution of the starting snaps. This didn’t sit well with Jiggly, Jenkins’ user, mainly because it apparently didn’t sit well with Valor, who published media and stirred up noise in the locker room expressing his dissatisfaction and superiority over Jenkins. (Amusingly, one of these articles called Rose Jenkins a he, which Jiggly did not appreciate.) A number of weeks transpired, and with both players seeing around an equal split of the passing snaps, both Jenkins and Leaf Jr. ranked near the bottom of the league in stats - not only volume, but also efficiency. The Coyotes’ lack of quarterback consistency hurt them greatly, resulting in a putrid offense and losing record halfway through the season. It all came to a head at the trade deadline, when Valor was dealt to the Norfolk Seawolves. Notably, Leaf Jr. position switched at the same time, transitioning into a defensive tackle. Jenkins became Kansas City’s undisputed starter for the rest of her senddown tenure. It’s a lesser known and less important scandal, but a number of changes emerged from the event - most importantly, Valor gained a reputation as a potential locker room issue on par with Jiggly himself, which has continued to follow him. Funnily enough, Valor would end up reunited with Jiggly only four seasons later, when the Wraiths traded Leaf to the Butchers in the S18-19 offseason while Rose Jenkins still served as the Butchers’ QB... but that’s part of a different story.

[Kyle]

13. The best pick in todays draft was without a doubt Zoe Watts. Austin traded multiple picks, millions of Dollar and stegs tiny little left nut to move up and jump Colorado to draft her. What nmakes Zoe Watts so special? Well for starters she is the single highest earner in ISFL history by the pre draft update, managing to hit 268 TPE to be shown on her copperhead draft card. However her earning is not the primary reason the Austin Copperheads are excited to add her to the roster. The amazing genereal manager duo upstate in Dallas raved about her locker room presence for the entire season. She was an immidiate leader upon being picked off waivers last season as a kicker. luckily Kyle and Steg recognized her natural her athleticism and speed and used that inside knowledge to make the surprise pick of the first round. Despite just being drafted Zoe WAtts was named Captain and helped lead the Birddogs to their first playoff berth. This is why I'm making an early case For Zoe Watts as Offensive Rookie of the Year. I don't need any fancy dumb stats or metrics to tell me what my gut already knows, that Zoe Watts will be the single greatest rookie runing back in the history of the league.

yeah i started too late, that's all

[White Cornerback]

In terms of the Austin Copperheads Big 4 Mount Rushmore, I think you've got to go with the obvious ones. Easton Cole, Mako Mendonca, Rod Tidwell and Dermot Lavelle Jr.

Every one of these players has been on the Austin Copperheads since their very first season way back in S16. The Austin Copperheads original side was created in the expansion draft and the NSFL S15 Draft but anybody picked up in S15 would be sent down into the DSFL and essentially get a free season before actually lining up in the rust brown poop colors of Austin for their inaugural season in S16. Just like Rome, Austin wasn't built in a day. Or a season. Or two seasons, really it was built in 3 seasons of drafts before everything started coming together, in terms of a Mount Rushmore, here it is.

Easton Cole has been the only QB the Austin Copperheads have ever had and it looks to stay that way for atleast another season. Sitting just shy of 30,000 passing yards, 170 touchdowns and 1 championship ring, Cole looks to be not only a lock for the Austin ROH but the ISFL HOF. Cole to be exact has 26,996 passing yards, 169 touchdowns and 2,243 completions and honestly at this point I can't imagine anybody catches up to that especially with an extra season after this or god forbid an extra two seasons to pad his stats.

Tidwell has been his #1 reliable target since forever, Tidwell is indeed retiring at the end of S24 but atleast he gets to link up for yet another season with Cole. Tidwell will retire and likely stay as the greatest Austin Copperheads wide receiver in history, unless he's somehow surpassed years and years from now. Tidwell I'd argue is borderline HOF and another season of decent to good stat clinches it, or so you'd imagine. Tidwell has 7,751 receiving yards, for reference 2nd place Net Gaines only has 3,864 receiving yards and he's only three seasons behind Tidwells numbers. Tidwell sits atop the pile also in touchdowns with 51, double 2nd place which has a mere 24 touchdowns. 454 receptions sits him again on first place comfortable with his closest company being the tight end Peter Larson who has also been here since S15/S16.

Mako Mendonca has been the #1 RB for the Austin Copperheads since his career begun, again taken during the Austin Copperheads Draft (S16) and despite the tumultous seasons during the Ashley Owens stint in Austin, Mendonca came out on top and Owens moved to what seemed like greener pastures. Mendonca is hanging it up at the end of this season and while his place in the HOF is in doubt, his position in the Austin Ring of Honor I cant imagine is. No surprise that Mendonca on this list also holds all the notable franchise rushing records from yards to touchdowns to attempts. 1st in rushing yards with 7,162 yards, 7 times the place Ashley Owens sits in 2nd. 55 Rushing touchdowns sits him on top of that board too, while dwarfing everybody else with nearly 1,800 rushing attempts. It's also worth noting that Mendonca also has 3,146 receiving yards, 19 touchdowns and 356 receptions to hang his hat on now and honestly if I look at it after reading all of this I can't imagine he's in with a good shout to be in the NSFL/ISFL Hall of Fame.

I'm at about 300 words at this point so while originally I didn't want to have to talk about my own player, my hand is forced. I think at this point Lavelle is easily going to become the career leader in ISFL kick and punt return yards, with an incredible amount of distance going to seperate him from his fathers former place. In terms of his ability as a defender, despite coming off a career high 5 interception season, he's not a great player and his career defensively so far has been sub-par. Regardless of this, while Lavelle's career interceptions have been streaky, he does sit 3rd all time in Copperheads career interceptions, one behind Takeda Okura and 4 behind the dominant Chase Jensen. Lavelle is on top of the career pass deflections list for the Copperheads with 108 pass deflections. Lavelle is tied 3rd in defensive touchdowns with just one. Lavelle no doubt is at the top of the career return lists with 7,077 return yards for the Copperheads and 2,165 punt return yards along with an impressive 3 punt return touchdowns.

I think without a shadow of a doubt if you ask anybody on the Copperheads that realisitically this is 4 you think of, maybe 3 if you swapped out Lavelle Jr for Idlewyld to be honest. He's definetly on his way there for sure with the waves he's making on that ever dominant defensive line.

[moonlight]

The Yellowknife Wraiths are once again World Champions and people are scratching their head as to how the Wraiths finally managed to break through. The Wraiths had made it to the past 4/5 Ultimus Championship games, losing all four. They finally managed to break through this season so let’s take a trip down memory lane to see how they got there. The Wraiths went 2-2 during the preseason as they fine-tuned their squad and playbook going into the season. The Wraiths fell flat on their faces in week 1 as they lost 24-23 on the road to a not so great Baltimore Hawks team. This was not a good omen for their hopes of an Ultimus championship during Cooter Bigsby final season. The Wraiths managed to bounce back and won their next four games against the Sailfish, Butchers, Yeti and Liberty. In week 6 they hosted the Orange County Otters, and a great game took place as the Otters took home a close one winning 33-30. Armstrong outdueled the Wraiths once again, and Bigsby once again struggled against this Otters team. They then won against the Sabercats but lost the following week to the Secondline. They then won a couple more games against Austin and Hawaii. They then got absolutely blown out by the Outlaws 46-13. They then rattled off another three straight wins against the Hawks, Sailfish, and Butchers. At this point they were sitting tops of the NSFC as well as the entire ISFL but then lost their next two games. They finished 10-6, first in the NSFC, but 2nd to the Otters for the right to host the Ultimus championship. The Wraiths matched up against the feisty Yeti in the NSFC conference championship game, and the Wraiths pulled off a very close victory, winning 13-10 on a FG. This was a defensive slug fest as the Wraiths offence did not put up very much of an output but the defence held out strong to send the Wraiths to the Ultimus. Due to the Otters loss, the Wraiths were given home field advantage against the Austin Copperheads. The Copperheads did not put up much of a showing in the Ultimus, losing 38-13. The Wraiths were finally champions for the 2nd time in their history. It was a long road to get there and Cooter Bigsby would be riding off into the sunset with his first Ultimus championship after all that pain. Congrats to the Wraiths.

Code:

407 words

13. Franklin Armstrong is yet again, the worthy candidate of two awards: Quarterback of the Year and Most Valuable player. The issue is, he probably won’t win these awards due to stupid and biased GMs and head office members. The other two candidates are Jay Cue the quarterback from Arizona, and Hanyandi some RB from the Wraiths. The idea that Jay Cue could win QBotY over Armstrong is absurd. Since when has a QB won the award with a passer rating as low as 83? How many times has a player with that large of a gap in passer rating, efficiency with 5 more INTs been called the QBotY? It really doesn’t make any sense to give him that award. Hanyandi is also a running back and why should a running back win MVP over a quarterback? Hanyandi was not really an example of a running back who had an absolutely insane season that should totally be an MVP winner. He’s just a running back on a team that won less games than the Otters. It’s really predictable that Armstrong will win the award and I’m confident he should win both if voters have their heads on straight. I hope he does and he better.

Code:

204 words

[PersonMann]

The long boi for Tier 1 number 5:

Ok, I guess I am going to do the 800 word task here for something that interests me about the league because this is a thing that I need to do in order to get some nice TPE for my player as well as so that my GM does not slap my booty cheeks too hard. I do not know all that much about this league but I still want to do my best to write this ultimus week task for the sweet sweet 10 TPE. I have a lot more knowledge about the Pro Baseball Experience so a part of this task I will be talking about that league when it relates to the International Sim Football League. In the Pro Baseball Experience, one of my many jobs there is as the Sim Team Head. So because I know about how our sims work, I will talk a bit about my thoughts on the International Sim Football League’s sims and streams. So I will pretty much be comparing the two sims and hopefully, fill up all the words here for the task thing that I am currently doing.

Overall, when we compare the two sim engines the glaring difference is the graphic quality of the two sims. In the International Sim Football League, you guys use the Draft Day Sports Football sim from a few years ago which apparently is the only sim that you can use and still make a football sim league work. This game only allows you to see your player as a hockey puck with a number on it and then you shuffle your puck around the field with a ball and stuff like that in order to see your player play. I see this as a negative since in the real world, people do not just look like a flat hockey puck with a number on it. In fact, if I did look like a flat hockey puck with a number on it I would probably go see a doctor. For me, this makes watching the streams difficult as I do not find them to be that entertaining. To compare, in the Pro Baseball Experience we are very lucky to have the Out of The Park Baseball game as our sim engine. Out of The Park Baseball allows us to edit stats and strategies in depth while still having a great visual for watching the games. It is in no way a perfect sim engine but it allows for a really engaging experience for a lot of people when they watch our streams.

Due to what I said above, it always amazed me how many people would tune in for the International Sim Football League’s streams. It is not uncommon to see 50 or 60 people watching the streams which confused me for a long time because the streams usually lacked any commentary or other engaging elements aside from watching the hockey puck people move around the field. At the same time, in the Pro Baseball Experience, we were getting closer to 40 or 50 people in our streams despite having the better sim engine and live announcers. The thing that is interesting to me is seeing how different sim leagues use certain elements of the sport they are trying to emulate to their advantage. For the International Sim Football League, because they are emulating football, they only ever need to play each team once per stream since there are so few games in a season as compared to many other sports. This plays a huge part into the audience numbers per stream in the league as people only ever have to pay attention for one game. In addition to that, a full game only seems to be about 10 minutes long, so people only ever have to watch the stream for 10 minutes, and then they can leave, or stay in the stream but not actively participate. This leads to high overall viewership as a larger majority of the league is able to find the short amount of time to watch. For us in the Pro Baseball Experience, we have to sim through around 10 days per stream which means that we are typically playing 8 games on stream and looking over the boxscores for around 150 boxscores, all of which add a lot of time. Our streams are typically around 2.5 - 3 hours long and it negatively affects our viewership. I know of a lot of users that cannot spend that amount of time watching a stream so they just look at the scores the next day.

From all of this it became apparent to me, once I took over as the Sim Team Head in the Pro Baseball Experience, that we had to focus on shortening the length of the streams. We now spend a lot less time on the boxscores which can usually save us 30 - 45 minutes on the stream. Another thing that I learned from the International Sim Football League is that the quality of your sim engine really does not matter as long as people know what to expect. I have also recently started a new sim league around bowling called the King Pins Bowling Sim League or KPBSL. We did not have a sim engine and so I created one myself. It is a text based sim that I made in Python and it is really shitty. I do joke that it is still better than the one that is here in the ISFL. The point with that league is that people are not expecting a masterpiece so we are still able to engage our members with a poor sim engine. We only have around 50 people in that league but we have been able to get around 20 to 25 people to watch every stream we do and from what we hear, they really enjoy it.

So I guess that is my task thing that ended up being a lot over 800 words. Sim leagues in general are all really interesting communities but I found the differences in sim engines to be interesting as they relate (or don’t) to overall league engagement.

[CalvinGolladay]

5) Write 800 words or more on something that interests you. It could be related to statistics, to a league issue you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 800 words about your team’s Werewolf server. Be warned that freedom comes with risk, and this category will be judged especially stringently for anyone trying to spew complete nonsense.


Although I've only been in the league for three (or is it four?) seasons, I've decided to reflect on my career up to this point.

I first joined the league after seeing the r/NFL post, along with many of my fellow S22 players. I reasoned that most people would want to play at so-called "skill positions," and decided that there'd likely be a need for OL. I believe S25 is the biggest OL class in league history for similar reasons. I ended up joining the Fair Rub Club, and soon fell in love with the position. I, along with fellow rookies Bruce Buckley and Tommy Sacamano represented the future of the position (sorry Symmetrik, I didn't know about Dolls until after the draft!). After some initial activity my earning fell off a bit, but an article ranking the S22 OL class gave me some much needed motivation. I was ranked 7 out of 11 players, put in the last tier, and even knocked for having the same player name as my username. I put out an article including interviews with my fellow OL, and started earning wherever I could. I had brief conversations with most teams, and still feel bad for ghosting KC when they reached out, but I knew I wanted to go to Tijuana. Jay had been one of the first people to reach out, and the simple "So OL, huh?" turned out to be a great conversation starter. So when draft day rolled around, I was ecstatic to see that I'd been selected by the Luchadores. It was a bit disappointing not being able to actually see the selection, courtesy of being busy just prior to my pick, but I was happy to join Tijuana. For the rest of the season I max earned and was active in the LR, getting to know the rest of my Lucha teammates. It was also the season in which I published the media article "We Shall Fight in the Trenches," a protest of the lacking OL Pro Bowl representation and rallying cry for OL. I also was asked to rep us for the awards committee, and I was happy to oblige. It was a bit rough for awards, as only half of the DSFL reps were active and those of us that were active were mostly suggesting minor changes to the lists Light had been posting, and the NSFL wasn't much better, but I was still enjoyed my time there. Once my first full off season rolled around, I was very nervous about the draft. I liked most of the teams, but the uncertainty still made me anxious. Discussing our future's in Vestuario is still one of my favorite memories of the league. My teammates also voted me as their offensive captain alongside Ugarth the Dissector, which was a huge honor given how many great teammates I had. On draft night I didn't have to wait quite as long for my selection, going 48th to the Arizona Outlaws. Unfortunately, I also missed this selection due to bad internet. Other than that it was a bit disappointing not staying with my teammate Mith/Andrew Warren, as we'd been hoping to stay on the same teams throughout our career, having met through being prospect bowl champions with the Ramblers and reuniting in Tijuana. I had a so-so rookie season after getting called up by Arizona, staying pretty active in both LRs and almost max earning. I also was part of awards committee again, and enjoyed working with a much more active team to get nominations done. However, near the end of the season I pretty much went IA in terms of earning, and wasn't much better in my locker rooms. I scouted a few tight ends and OL for Tijuana, one of whom being a Tijuana draftee, and published the second Luchadores S22 Class Season Review. I did get more active the next season, though not a max earner I was much more consistent. I didn't return to the awards committee in favor of having some fresh reps, but did get the sim and sort of (but not really) started to help Tijuana with sim testing. I've also been scouting OL for them, which has been fun with how large this class is. Even though I was pretty terrible last season, I'm still optimistic about the upcoming one, and hope I can become a more consistent earner heading into a contract year with the Outlaws. I'm also looking to do some sim testing to find the optimal 250 TPE builds for OL and experiment with how I would've done as an uncapped out-of-position Luchadores player, so I look forward to finishing and publishing those articles. In my three seasons in the league I've loved my time in Tijuana interacting with all my former teammates and getting to know my current Outlaw teammates, which I never would've expected when I first joined the league. I'm glad to have done my part for the Fair Rubs movement, and hope to help further the cause with all the new rookies joining us.

[Beebob]

Tier 1, Question 1


Infamous is a very strong word, and I believe it is certainly impossible to decide the most infamous non-playoff moment in league history so I'll tell you my most infamous moment in league history. Chances are, you already know this moment, but in the scenario you don't, I thought not, it's not a story the Rookie Mentors would tell you. It's a player legend, Ryan Leaf Jr was a meme lord of the Users, so powerful and intellectual he could use memes to influence the simulation to create stats many thought were impossible. You're probably thinking now, how could he possibly achieve this? Well, the meme side of the simulation is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. The most notable and infamous of his unnatural acts came almost a 10 years ago during this same month, April 27, 2029. The game happened to be one of the final prospect bowl games of S15, it was the clear favorites in the Midwest Wolfpack who had arrived to the game with a 3-1 record thoughout the Prospect Bowl. Versus Ryan Leaf Jrs team, otherwise known as the Pacific Owls. Using hindsight though, it's clear the Pacific Owls were the superior put together team, featuring future All-Stars and Ultimus winners of the likes of Orange Country Kicker Alex D, Philadelphia safety Richard D'Attoria, Sabertooth tight end, Cameron Olson, and even Colorado safety Mo Berry. Though the Wolfpack did have some players that still strike fear into the hearts of defensive and offensive players alike at just the mere mention of their names, names including Liberty's own all star Wide Receiver Varga Nacho and ummm.. uhhh.... Nero Alexander? ...Jay Longshaw was pretty active at Quarterback for a bit, sharing playing time with... John Tebow... ok I swear I remember more popular players on the Wolfpack... wait wait.. they had an actual robot as their kicker??? How is this even possible, weren't there like hundreds of dudes in this draft... Moving past the absolute dud of the Wolfpack roster, Midwest were still the prime favorites to win the matchup. And things certainly seemed to look that way after the Midwest Running Back duo and old FSU teammates James St lll and some other random idiot, carried the Wolfpack offense down the field, picking up 9 yard gains after another, until eventually the drive came to a close at the Owls 44 yard line after repeated incomplete and inefficient passes from none other than John Tebow. What followed was a bizarre series of events, the Wolfpack's robotic punter managed to punt the ball insanely high into the sky, almost certainly not it's intended arc, and somehow, the ball landed right into the unknowing hands of Wolfpack Wide Receiver AND gunner Nacho Varga who just happened to be stood confused at the Pacific Owls 1 yard line. Unintentionally giving the Robot the Holy Grail of punts. And if you think that's crazy we're just getting started. Following this near freak accident, the Pacific Owls procideded to immediately then go three and out after Owls running back 'Bortboy' was unable to pick up the required yards after two repeated attempts. After the drive concluded Ryan Leaf Jr, the Pacific Owls Quarterback, was seen acting very disgusted, both at the spineless-ness of the his coaches who refused to call a passing play following his first incompletion and torwards his running back for being unable to pick up the required yards. And after the Alex D 51 yard punt, it was all too easy for the combined efforts of Wolfpack Quarterbacks Jay Longshaw and John Tebow. Concluding the 60 yard drive with a 3 yard dink and dunk pass from John Tebow to some idiot Wolfpack running back. This drive drove the already bitter Ryan Leaf Jr into almost visceral anger, fortunately for his coaches and teammates, Leaf was a reasonable man, he would play out the rest of the game with one condition, he would be calling the plays. His coaches, with the fear of losing their Quarterback and likely any future in the NSFL begrudgingly accepted his deal. In the following Wolfpack kickoff. The Midwest robotic kicker, almost as to try and suggest it wasn't actually a legitimate robot and had a sense of humor kicked the following kickoff 69 yards exactly, before of course the kick was returned an extra 12 yards, which meant the Owls would begin their drive at the 13 yard line. As Ryan Leaf Jr approached the huddle he had only one thing on his mind: QB Run. This was history in the making and while no one knew before, everyone would certainly know after. Walking behind the center Leaf knew his plan but he himself probably wouldn't have expected what came next. After the Hike of the ball, Leaf immediately ran towards left side of the field, narrowly avoiding Defensive End Nero Alexander, before embarrassing all remaining Wolfpack Linebackers and Safeties, all while cruising to his now-infamous 87 yard running Touchdown, proving he was "something of a running back himself" and leading his team to a 26-7 Victory.

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[Big Edd]

17) Choose any award from the past 22 offseasons that you think should’ve gone to a different contender. Why was your chosen candidate’s season superior to the actual winner?

Not last season, but the season before that when the Orange County Otters played against the COlroado Yeti, the people in OCO came in with high hopes as they should have. They just about were better than the Yeti in every position except for overall record. If I remember correctly, The colorado yeti had won the regular-season championship that season. The otters started out the championship firing on all cylinders. Armstrong and Nakamura were doing their thing getting the ball into the endzone 3 times in less than 2 quarters. The defense alongside Abernathy, Vegeta, and Big edd did their job extremely well holding the yeti to a singular field goal making the score 21 to 3. Another touchdown by the Yeti wouldve made it quite a meme considering what happened to the ATlanta Falcons. No one in OCO thought they could have lost the game, they believed the S22 championship Ultimus Trophy was theirs. Unfortunately, as we all know, one thing lead to another and the sim utterly clapped the Orange country otters’ cheeks that night. Armstrong fell straight on his face with a pick and some 3 and outs to help the yeti eventually make a historic comeback adn seize their first-ever Ultimus trophy.

20) Show your player hoisting the championship trophy. Graphics only.

https://imgur.com/IIFeseh

19) Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, highlights, or anti-Semitic Instagram posts. I’m joking about that last one, please don’t bring up bigotry.

Coming into the league Big edd did not seem like a big time player nor even a possible starter int he ISFL. Despite being a baller at the university of Pittsburgh, Big Edd was severely underrated by scouts around the league. He was regarded by some as lazy and even incompetent by some. Also, Big Edd’s enormous body seemed to hinder his speed is what most thought so that most definitely will hurt his draft stock. Besides that, Big Edd seems to have a great personality. He is a cool guy to speak with and seems to have the best taste buds in all of the virtual and real life football world. He enjyos some unique candies that some may otherwise consider trash or disgusting like candy corn but i guess that is what makes him so unique. He is most definitely not like any of the prospects around the league, and neither do they have the arsenal of Stephen A smith memes as he does. I truly believe he has a meme for every situation ever no matter the circumstance, and for that he gets some bonus points on this scouting report. Big Edd’s ability ont he field thoughts also one to none. He lead the league of DT’s in sacks with 12 and recently won the Defesnive tackle fo the year award to add to his already filling up collection of trophies.