(S24) - PT 1 - Trivia Night

[Asked Madden]

Is somebody making soup? Because I smell a leek!

I'm going to go with a slightly different story from most here and talk about the moment which drove me to work harder in this league.
This is a story all too many if you will be familiar with, you're texting your best friend about plans for the weekend but how you really hope "Joey" isn't there. Only you fuck up and send that text to Joey rather than your friend. Well I was on the receiving end of that message and let me tell you it's a wake up call.
I had just came out of the interview feeling good about myself. I thought I'd nailed the questions and charmed the life out of the interviewer. I was already looking at apartments in the area. High end as well as they were clearly picking me first round and I was going to spend that top pick money to look fly as hell.
Then I got that notification. "Here we go"! I thought. I thought it would be a sly message to tell me no need to try in any other interviews as your coming to us...
Alas, my heart hit my feet when I opened up the message. "My top five at the moment are *Name1* *Name2* *Name3* *Name4* *Name5*. Let me tell you, none of these names were Raylan Crowder.

This was a turning point - I'd like to thank that person as it told me I wasn't all that. It forced me to pick up my game, work on my speed, work on my strength, hell I even dropped a shit load of cash on high end gear to give me that edge. Look at me now: one of, if not the, highest rated none waiver prospects in the class.
First round pick to my dream team: The Dallas Birddogs.

[xTri]

It is always fun when our locker room in Discord adds a new discord bot. A recent one that many of my locker rooms across sim leagues added was the Jeopardy bot. I consider myself to be pretty smart and wise, but when I try to answer questions that the bot gave, I could barely answer any of them. I can probably answer one question out of twenty given. Everyone starts at $0 and earn money whenever they get a question right and lose when they get it wrong, but you can't go negative. A lot of my teammates are pretty knowledgeable with trivia and have balances in the thousands. Meanwhile, I'm still at $0 and probably should be in the negative millions if it was possible. Another bot that was added was a Battle Royale type bot. When it was just added, it was fun night when everyone was joining and pretty much rooting for our own person to stab the other in the back. The one thing I definitely remember from that night was my lack of wins. We constantly started a new Royale right when the last one ended, and I am pretty sure that I had not won one for a long time. There was maybe 10 people, and I think I haven't won a Royale until like 20 sessions in.

Code:

225 words

[Memento Mori]

I want to talk about the S21 Ultimini, where the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers beat the Kansas City Coyotes 27-10. In the days leading up to the game, so many people were testing in the Myrtle Beach sim testing channel that I’d forgotten several of them. I searched back through the channel and me, Frost, Cory, Jeff, Thor, Ephenssta, Cola and Nate were all running tests with Rotti, Muford, Moosey, Simon and others giving us ideas and encouraging emotes.

If you’ve done a lot of sim testing, especially as part of a group, you can imagine how it went. Some of us were testing offensive strats and offensive depth charts, others testing using different defensive formations and depth charts. I was testing special teams changes, looking for any tiny edge we could find.

Cory says he’s going to try something different. I won’t say what he did, in case he wants to keep that a secret so he can try it again in another game one day (we’ve not used it in MB since the Ultimini as we’ve not had another game as important as that). I don’t know if it’d translate to an ISFL game, but I’ll keep it secret just in case. It tested far better than anything else we’d tried. We submitted those strats, and ran out to a dominant three-score victory.

His fellow GM Frost and the rest of the war room deserve great credit for the incredible S21 draft class – Myrtle Beach’s first five picks were all drafted in the top 20 selections of the following season’s S22 ISFL draft – and so do all the players on the roster for their earning, activity and locker room contributions, but I think Cory deserves particular credit for that championship win.

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[Yeenoghu]

Juan Domine is mostly known for one of two things--being a stalwart linebacker in the Royals defense, and being the #1 overall pick of the Chicago Butchers in the ISFL draft. However, my favorite anecdote about my player does not relate to either of these teams. I joined about a week or so after the trade deadline of season 22, and Domine was a waiver pickup for the Kansas City Coyotes. My then-GM at the time, Starboy, was very diligent about getting me into the rotation soon after being added to the team, so I got to see some playing time during the last two games of the season. And I didn't have to wait long at all for my first taste of the DSFL! Hosting the Tijuana Luchadores, the Coyotes kicked off to start the game and therefore played defense on the opening drive. As fate would have it, Juan Domine was involved on the very first play from scrimmage.

I suppose the moral of this story is that it's possible for a player to be too eager to see their first in-game action, but it did turn out all right for Domine by the end of his rookie season. Maybe a change of scenery was necessary, as he accumulated an impressive 16 tackles in his debut for London (just ignore the Unnecessary Roughness and Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalties from that game...).

[Rusfan]

I have quite often joined a few others in the Minnesota locker room for games of Deceit, a free Steam game of mistrust and many scares. One of these games we managed to get a full lobby of 6 going with the entire voice comms being in discord. Myself and Tylus were selected as the traitorous infected and, one-by-one, we killed Frostbite, Jamar, CC, and Mobi. It was quite fun and somehow in the next game we were the exact same infected as previous and managed to pull off a second straight victory. Unfortunately after game 2 we lost a player and had to fill in with a random, so talking to him was a little tricky, but we got the hang of it. It’s become quite the popular pastime in the MIN LR, and I have received quite a few pings with games that I unfortunately haven’t been able to take part in, but I hope they had fun nonetheless. I have since suggested the game Unfortunate Spaceman, but it seems that we don’t have quite enough people to make that one work yet, but maybe in the future we can grow to be big enough for it to work. But until then, Deceit will do us just fine.

[Eldorian]

As most people think but do not understand, Goat Tank is neither part goat nor part tank. His dad Richard Tank (Dick for short) was a former football player himself and knew that his son would one day grow up to be the "GOAT" (Greatest of All Time). However, he knew his wife would not think that would be a great reasoning to name their son such a thing, so he devised a plan.

You see, the Tank family lived on a farm in middle of no where southern Iowa. You could easily drive an hour before you even got to the closest Wal-Mart and don't even mention how far away major hospitals were. So when Mary Tank was pregnant with their son, Richard had an idea when things were getting close to be out near the goats working on some fences while Mary was driving the tractor around. It was at this point that she started having labor pains and Richard joked about how it must be all the goats around that caused her to do so. It was at that point that he started putting the idea in her head that the name Goat could be the name of their son.

The thing is, she wasn't having any of it though. She didn't think it was a good first name at all - and what most people don't know is that Goat Tank's first name - is actually Richard, named after his dad. But she did make a compromise, in that Goat is his middle name. Yes, you heard that right, Goat Tank's full name is actually Richard Goat Tank, Jr. (or Dick Tank, Jr.). However, when growing up, to not make the name confusing on who everyone was referring to and because Mary didn't like the name "junior" that a lot of people might normally go by in such circumstances, they just simply called him Goat.

The name stuck. The Legend of Goat Tank was born.

Code:

328 words

[nutbarspadge]

Having been split up from his fellow Horsemen for the Prospect Bowl, Sheed Thebaw knew he had to turn up and have a helluva game. In true Sheed Thebaw fashion, his entrance into the Prospect Bowl was not a quiet one.

The Tiburon Landsharks are having a lights out game on offence. The QB Holloway is doing things he remembers from tape in college, throwing dimes and running times. Inspired by the offence, it was time for the defence to show why they were not to be messed with. But THAT defence. Sack after sack after sack. and the icing on the cake? A safety from Sheed Thebaw, followed by his signature celebration "Toe Tag, Body Bag!".

But where does the Toe Tag, Body Bag celebration come from? Some sources say that it's simply Thebaw’s internal hatred for QB’s that brought it about the first time he sacked someone in high school. Others say it was a complete accident, that Sheed was simply picking up his hand towel in a college practice that came flying off after a sack, and it looked like he was zipping up a body bag. One source told us that he actually wants to be a crime scene forensic analysis and he is simply getting in practice.

When we reached out for a few words about the celebration, following the blowout win for the Landsharks, Thebaw simply answered “You want a few words about the origin of my celebration? Oh BABY, wouldn’t you like to know! Haha! It’s all about timing, and yours is way off. OH, and I got two more words for ya...”. For the sake of our readers, we have omitted what followed.

It would appear the mystery behind the celebration continues, and Sheed Thebaw refuses to give us any hints...

[Skyline]

Acura Skyline, the high flying, quick cutting, touchdown maestro of the Yellowknife Wraiths backfield (AKA the #2 running back), will likely have a long and illustrious career. His first season was a pro bowl, RBOTY campaign, but his second, despite a 3 touchdown Ultimus bowl performance culminating in a YKW victory, was a step back, leaving many to wonder why he had somewhat regressed. Well the truth is, only Acura Skyline himself knows. None of his coaches, teammates, or trainers had any idea why he was just a hair less explosive and a smidge less elusive. The answer: he had been eating way too much dairy. Skyline had never had dairy in his entire life, due to a misguided joke from his father when he was 3 years old that milk was actually cow piss. That permanently scarred him, and he never touched the stuff, actively disgusted by any friends or family members who consumed yogurt or had cheese on their burgers. At the beginning of this offseason, Skyline ended up on the Wikipedia page for “milk” during one particularly depraved evening of googling, and discovered that milk was actually a totally fine source of food. As such he started eating dairy during every meal. However, unknown to him because he had always avoided it, Skyline is lactose intolerant. That means that every time he had a cup of cottage cheese his stomach would distend with gas and he would have a terrible time. Every single game of S22, Skyline was bloated and producing acrid farts. That’s the real secret behind his relatively poor performances. Now that Skyline has been working with a team doctor, he has cut dairy completely from his diet, and hopes to have a bounceback season.

290 words.

[Cheech65]

Something that most people probably don't know about Clark Boyd is that he comes from a football family. His father, Russell, was born in New York but grew up in Canada, where he played on the special teams squad as well as linebacker in college. After, he played for a handful of semi-pro teams before getting his shot. He would up playing professionally for a now-defunct Canadian league team, the Halifax Hammerheads. He played OLB for the Nova Scotian team for 7 years. In that time, he moved back to the United States after undergoing surgeries to repair his right knee, in order to be closer to family. After living in New York for a year, he met and moved in with his soon-to-be wife, Jane. Clark was born a year later, and his father announced his retirement shortly before Clark’s 3rd birthday. Russell coached high school football until Clark was of age, opting to be a fan rather than a coach. Clark’s parents both still live in New Jersey, but they make sure to see each of his home games down in Sarasota. Clark wears the number 7, in honor of his father, who played professionally in the number 77 jersey.

[snazzlepuss22]

So this actually happened to me when I was playing football in fourth grade.

I was a left tackle and realistically had no real interest in football and never read the playbook or anything, since I was only eight realistically my instructions were "Stop that dude and don't let him get past you". My view of the field was really narrow as the only thing I ever tried to do was stop the guy in front of me. I wasn't very good at it but I was bigger than the other kids on the field so that's where they put me since my little athsmatic ass couldn't run fast at all. So most of the time that's all I paid attention to, never really knew what down it was or what we were doing.

So one night game that I will never forget was when the coach had me play some iron man football, had me playing on both sides of the ball. This team had the biggest damn 8 year old of a center I ever saw on it, He did a 2 point stance since he couldn't get all his fingers on the ground past his belly. So the coach puts me in at nose tackle (which I never played in my life) and just tells me to dive at his feet as soon as he snaps the ball. So sure enough I dive at his feet and he fumbles immediately and we recover.

I blew that team up that game doing nothing more then diving my chubby little butt at this kids legs every time he snapped the ball, causing 3 fumbles, two of which we recovered. My teammates damn near carried me off the field after we won that game and it was the most fun I ever had playing football. I think my Dad almost shed a tear of joy gushing about how well I played that night.


323 Words.