[This is 2550 words long. 10% goes to C9Van and 90% to me as agreed. This is ready to be graded.]
Hello and welcome back to the second part of this stupid little piece of media that involves two of the newest Norfolk Seawolves players that were recently drafted in the most recent Development Sim Football League.
In this part, we will have another special guest appear, more bollocks questions and more shit postery. It will be great. Well, probably not but daddy likes to have money in the bank so you gotta do what you gotta do.
*We come back from commercial break as Zaki Castillo is shown waving at the crowd. Smiling as the camera pans to Laszlo Forty Two, The Office style. Laszlo Forty Two seems to not like any of the people in this shit hellhole of a room for him*
Zaki Castillo: How do you both believe your first season with the Norfolk Sea Wolves go?
Laszlo Forty Two: God fucking damn you Zaki, can you please fuck right off this instance. No-one liked you in GRSL and I sure as shit do not like you as a host! I still refuse to talk in puns or 3rd person! Anyway where was I? Oh yeah! I think it will go pretty damn well if I am being brutally honest. This was a team that made back to back finals and whilst they are losing quite a bit of talent to call ups I am not worried about that factor just due to the fact literally ever team in the Development Sim Football League also lost a fuck ton of quality. It is about replacing those players and I know for a fact the vast majority of the other teams will not have someone like my player. I already have created my final build and I already know how good it will be. A few other teams have even seen it and been impressed with it.
I am doing a hybrid of Tom Hanks’ MVP Development Sim Football League build and Running Backs of last season who were respectable. Add a solid Offensive Line and Tom Teapot adding great strength, I am pretty confident I can shine and gun great stats and maybe even contend for awards. I killed it in my appearances for Myrtle Beach. I was damn near Most Valuable Player for the Banff Bandits and I plan on doing that in this season as well. Pretty close to 90 speed already.
To actually answer this question I would say contender or championship bound roughly. Albeit knowing this sim engine probably 0-12 or 0-14 if anything depending on how many games we have.
I am personally just looking to try and get as many stats as I can get and try to gun as many awards and more importantly records as I possibly can. I got 650 yards and 6 touch downs in the Prospect Bowl so I am hopefully going to get a lot more yardage in the regular season.
I think with a Tight End with high strength like Tim Tepot helping I have a good shot at that.
Tom Teboat: I’ve been thinking of when you were going to ask this question so I could finally get the chance to answer this boring and very generic question tbh. I absolutely think that I can gun for Tight End Of The Year. I am here to absolutely destroy this league in any way shape or form possible. The fact that we lost the prospect bowl just motivates me even more. In fact that wasn’t even Laszlo Forty Two’s final form and you saw how he destroyed those peasant defenders. Now imagine having me, this build. This monster of a Tight End blocking for him, another option for our Quarter Back Emi Rune to pass to. I think I am settled for some pancakes but I want some god damn touch downs too. We can absolutely obliterate this league if we wanted to. Now I don’t just want personal success. I also want to help the team win a ring. If it has to go through Tijuana Luchadores then so be it. Sorry guys
Zaki Castillo: What is your favourite Pokemon? Also choose your starter pokemon: Fire type Charmander, Water type Squirtle or Grass type Bulbasaur?
Laszlo Forty Two: I will answer the second question first. Just purely cause it is easier. I would usually struggle to answer this cause I fell in loved with Charmander from that 1 anime episode with the bell end who leaves Charmander to die like the fucking prick he was. Luckily he was found by the worst pokemon trainer ever. The man who puberty forget: Ash Ketchum (Satoshi for the weebs). That episode hits me in the feels like the Butterfree episode or when Ekans and Weezing leave team rocket.
But I fell in love with Squirtle through my playthroughs of yellow and red and blue (Yeah I had every game. 9 year old me was obsessed with pokemon when it first came out.)
But if I had to choose right now, it would be Squirtle purely because Pokemon Go decided Charmander needed a fucking second Community Day in October for no fuckign reason and I am salty about that cause I do not need more fucking Chamanders.
As for the first question, that is really hard. I always was going to get a tattoo of the pokemon I got my first real shiny from and sadly that was Dratini and he looks like a sperm so NOPE. I really like Gloom cause everyone hates Gloom and that makes me like him. I have a soft spot for him. I like Pidgey and Eeevee quite a bit but I guess Gastly and Gengar are probably my favs.
Tom Teboat:You know what? I never got the hang of these poke creatures or whatever. Why the hell do kids love them? I do not know if you know this but Tom Teboat is a faithful man of religion. You are damn straight I am anti pokemans or whatever they are called. They’re teaching these kids how to worship these little demon creatures. Catching them on their phones and infecting them with viruses. They got our children addicted to these weird cartoons where I’m not sure they even speak american in them. You get these kids addicted to the games and now we just have a lazy generation of spoiled brats. Now, if I have to choose though my favorite pokemon is psyduck cause he kind of cute not going to lie. Plus he is kind of an underappreciated underdog, I mean look at how Misty treats him. Poor little guy just needs a hug you know. What guys? No of course I didn’t watch that weird anime cartoon. Next question please.
*Jose Forty Three, the Pro Baseball Experience Mexican super star comes barging in the door with Luchador masks and Mexican flags, red and green balloons. A sombrero and is even wearing a poncho*
Jose Forty Three: Let’s go man! We got you drafted to the Luchadors buddy!!! I can’t believe you had to tank that hard but we really fucking did it man! Listen I got us some party hats, some balloons, some little mexican flags I picked up at the Mexican peso store on the way here! *Laszlo looks just as pissed as he always is to see one of the cult’s biggest idiots.*
We have got some mexican food, we’re gonna have a fucking party bro, tequila on me, we got some tamalitos. Some taquitos, some enchiladas, some pozolito. We got the maracas, the regional mexican band is about to come out to sing “Cielito Lindo”.
*Jose Forty Three suddenly stops himself in the excitement as he looks around the room with a confused interviewer, The Sanch and Laszlo Forty Two looking at him as well. Jose Forty Three sadly cannot read a room whatsoever*
Hey, Laszlo I sent you a T-Shirt of #TradeForJose43! Why aren’t you wearing it?
Laszlo Forty Two: Because you got traded you fucking idiot, you just can’t seem to understand that.
Jose Forty Three: Ja Jaa! Oh Lazzy! You sly dog! That is a good 1! Well, I guess I will be off! Remember to trade for meee!
*Jose Forty Three opens the exit door as The Sanch is right there standing outside as well. They look to each other, their eyes meet for the first time. It’s like they’re soulmates. The Sanch stands up to meet face to face with his hermano from another mother. Somehow this meeting, right here right now. It was destiny for these two to meet. They both extend their arms out and hug it out. Finally the two mexicans in different leagues have met, this was indeed destiny. What killed the defence? Teboat Forty Two! They both exclaim as they giggle like little school girls and hold hands as they ride off to the sunset in their green lowrider with red flames*
Zaki Castillo: That was the most ambitious crossover episode I’ve ever seen. I’m crying of happiness
Tom Teboat: That was fucking weird even for my standards bro
Laszlo Forty Two: Please...Just ask me another fucking football related question…
Zaki Castillo: What do you most want to accomplish during your time in the league?
Laszlo Forty Two: Well, in an ideal world. I get my jersey retired at the team I get drafted by and also make it into the hall of fame. That was and is my dream. But oh lord is that a hard as fuck dream to gun for. I am hoping one day the Yellow Knife lads retire my number since I helped Hanyadi win Most Valuable Player and won us an Ultimus but I was only around for 3 seasons and looking at how stacked they are with team Hall of Fame I do not know if that happens. So maybe just focus on making it with the sea wolves for now since I will not with Tijuana Luchadores probably. I hope that is the case at least. I am rather indecisive and I have made Laszlo be quite flexible with his seasons since I am mashing two careers together into one hybrid for my only cult story I am doing but we will see.
Tom Teboat: Well, I want to teach the kids about how important it is to have fun. I want to become an influencer to these kids and show them the way of Teboating. The values and respect that I have for this beautiful American sport are just second to what the future of our country looks like. I have to be a role model for some of these kids, somebody that they can look up to you know? It’s all about the journey and the friendships we made along the way *winks*
Zaki Castillo: Thoughts on the Norfolk locker room so far? Are you enjoying it?
Laszlo Forty Two: I will be brutally honest with this one. I genuinely love it. Today I actually ended up joining the Vancouver Vandals as well in the Pro Baseball Experience and it genuinely was great fun and was pinged by some amazing players over there to feel welcomed like never before and that was the same feeling.
People were hyped to have gotten me and happy to see me be picked up by the Norfolk team. Maybe this is an ego thing? I dunno but it felt quite nice to just see it happen I guess. I was also genuinely saddened at the time to see the Tijuana Luchadores did not pick me up but I know I have a good proper life home finally and can focus on getting on track with this. It feels pretty damn good honestly when I think about it.
I really like the people in that locker room a lot. Not that I did not like Tijuana Luchadores locker room, it was really nice but to be included in the other really cool and feels great. I can’t wait to just chat and chill and laugh at the weaker teams.
Wait, I do have one small problem with it. The Sanch is in that fucking locker room and he will no doubt go round and say that he is a 3 time Defensive Lineman of the Year when he is only a two time thanks to me and I built the dude who won the first 2 Defensive Lineman of the Year award! Kick him and we are golden!
Tom Teboat: I enjoy all the games they have and yeah, I was already invited pre-draft into it. Seems like a bunch of friendly folk who are willing to give us decent training advice on how to catch the perfect ball. Once I did get drafted I did see Dorfis Jimbo kicking out a bunch of rookies they didn’t draft with a baseball bat he found in my bag. I thought that was a little weird but other than that I have not seen any concerns at all and I’m sure I will have an absolute blast being a player for the Norfolk “Best Folk” Seawolves
Zaki Castillo: Well that about does it folks. Thank you so much for reading this really long two parter interview. I hope-
Tom Teboat: Wait, before we finish this off I do want to finish this thing off with a small prayer. Now I know this is unusual but I do enjoy the occasional Teboating as the kids these days call it. So people please gather round as we begin our prayer for our lord. I will be doing this in my native language, tagalog since I am from the Philippines. Do not worry though, for this is a judgement free zone and I will pray in both languages simultaneously so we can all participate *Laszlo Forty Two starts to get up so he can leave but he sees Sanch and Jose Forty Three waiting for him at the door. So he turns around back to the prayer circle*
Laszlo Forty Two: Sure, why not. You know I thought this was supposed to be out of character? Mr Forty Two hates everything about this...
Ama Namin (Our Father)
Sumasalangit ka (Thou art in heaven)
Sambahin ang ngalan mo (Hollowed be thy name)
Mapasaamin ang kaharian mo (Thy Kingdom come)
Sundin ang loob mo (Thy will be done)
Dito sa lupa, para ng sa langit (On earth, as it is in heaven)
Bigyan mo po kami ng aming kakanin (Give us this day)
Sa araw-araw (our daily bread)
At patawarin mo po kami (and forgive)
Sa aming mga sala (our tresspasses)
para nang pagpapatawad namin (As we forgive those)
Sa mga nagkakasala sa amin (Who tresspass against us)
At huwag mo po kaming ipahintulot sa tukso (and lead us not into temptation)
At iadya mo po kami (But deliver us)
Sa dilang masasama (From evil).
Amen
Zaki Castillo: Okay! And on that note I guess we can call this interview complete! It has been quite a wild and wacky time but now is the point to call it I feel. If you have been following a long I wish to thank you for your time and hopefully you look forward to the next installment of the interviews and until next time we will be seeing you on the field! Good bye!
Hello and welcome back to the second part of this stupid little piece of media that involves two of the newest Norfolk Seawolves players that were recently drafted in the most recent Development Sim Football League.
In this part, we will have another special guest appear, more bollocks questions and more shit postery. It will be great. Well, probably not but daddy likes to have money in the bank so you gotta do what you gotta do.
*We come back from commercial break as Zaki Castillo is shown waving at the crowd. Smiling as the camera pans to Laszlo Forty Two, The Office style. Laszlo Forty Two seems to not like any of the people in this shit hellhole of a room for him*
Zaki Castillo: How do you both believe your first season with the Norfolk Sea Wolves go?
Laszlo Forty Two: God fucking damn you Zaki, can you please fuck right off this instance. No-one liked you in GRSL and I sure as shit do not like you as a host! I still refuse to talk in puns or 3rd person! Anyway where was I? Oh yeah! I think it will go pretty damn well if I am being brutally honest. This was a team that made back to back finals and whilst they are losing quite a bit of talent to call ups I am not worried about that factor just due to the fact literally ever team in the Development Sim Football League also lost a fuck ton of quality. It is about replacing those players and I know for a fact the vast majority of the other teams will not have someone like my player. I already have created my final build and I already know how good it will be. A few other teams have even seen it and been impressed with it.
I am doing a hybrid of Tom Hanks’ MVP Development Sim Football League build and Running Backs of last season who were respectable. Add a solid Offensive Line and Tom Teapot adding great strength, I am pretty confident I can shine and gun great stats and maybe even contend for awards. I killed it in my appearances for Myrtle Beach. I was damn near Most Valuable Player for the Banff Bandits and I plan on doing that in this season as well. Pretty close to 90 speed already.
To actually answer this question I would say contender or championship bound roughly. Albeit knowing this sim engine probably 0-12 or 0-14 if anything depending on how many games we have.
I am personally just looking to try and get as many stats as I can get and try to gun as many awards and more importantly records as I possibly can. I got 650 yards and 6 touch downs in the Prospect Bowl so I am hopefully going to get a lot more yardage in the regular season.
I think with a Tight End with high strength like Tim Tepot helping I have a good shot at that.
Tom Teboat: I’ve been thinking of when you were going to ask this question so I could finally get the chance to answer this boring and very generic question tbh. I absolutely think that I can gun for Tight End Of The Year. I am here to absolutely destroy this league in any way shape or form possible. The fact that we lost the prospect bowl just motivates me even more. In fact that wasn’t even Laszlo Forty Two’s final form and you saw how he destroyed those peasant defenders. Now imagine having me, this build. This monster of a Tight End blocking for him, another option for our Quarter Back Emi Rune to pass to. I think I am settled for some pancakes but I want some god damn touch downs too. We can absolutely obliterate this league if we wanted to. Now I don’t just want personal success. I also want to help the team win a ring. If it has to go through Tijuana Luchadores then so be it. Sorry guys
Zaki Castillo: What is your favourite Pokemon? Also choose your starter pokemon: Fire type Charmander, Water type Squirtle or Grass type Bulbasaur?
Laszlo Forty Two: I will answer the second question first. Just purely cause it is easier. I would usually struggle to answer this cause I fell in loved with Charmander from that 1 anime episode with the bell end who leaves Charmander to die like the fucking prick he was. Luckily he was found by the worst pokemon trainer ever. The man who puberty forget: Ash Ketchum (Satoshi for the weebs). That episode hits me in the feels like the Butterfree episode or when Ekans and Weezing leave team rocket.
But I fell in love with Squirtle through my playthroughs of yellow and red and blue (Yeah I had every game. 9 year old me was obsessed with pokemon when it first came out.)
But if I had to choose right now, it would be Squirtle purely because Pokemon Go decided Charmander needed a fucking second Community Day in October for no fuckign reason and I am salty about that cause I do not need more fucking Chamanders.
As for the first question, that is really hard. I always was going to get a tattoo of the pokemon I got my first real shiny from and sadly that was Dratini and he looks like a sperm so NOPE. I really like Gloom cause everyone hates Gloom and that makes me like him. I have a soft spot for him. I like Pidgey and Eeevee quite a bit but I guess Gastly and Gengar are probably my favs.
Tom Teboat:You know what? I never got the hang of these poke creatures or whatever. Why the hell do kids love them? I do not know if you know this but Tom Teboat is a faithful man of religion. You are damn straight I am anti pokemans or whatever they are called. They’re teaching these kids how to worship these little demon creatures. Catching them on their phones and infecting them with viruses. They got our children addicted to these weird cartoons where I’m not sure they even speak american in them. You get these kids addicted to the games and now we just have a lazy generation of spoiled brats. Now, if I have to choose though my favorite pokemon is psyduck cause he kind of cute not going to lie. Plus he is kind of an underappreciated underdog, I mean look at how Misty treats him. Poor little guy just needs a hug you know. What guys? No of course I didn’t watch that weird anime cartoon. Next question please.
*Jose Forty Three, the Pro Baseball Experience Mexican super star comes barging in the door with Luchador masks and Mexican flags, red and green balloons. A sombrero and is even wearing a poncho*
Jose Forty Three: Let’s go man! We got you drafted to the Luchadors buddy!!! I can’t believe you had to tank that hard but we really fucking did it man! Listen I got us some party hats, some balloons, some little mexican flags I picked up at the Mexican peso store on the way here! *Laszlo looks just as pissed as he always is to see one of the cult’s biggest idiots.*
We have got some mexican food, we’re gonna have a fucking party bro, tequila on me, we got some tamalitos. Some taquitos, some enchiladas, some pozolito. We got the maracas, the regional mexican band is about to come out to sing “Cielito Lindo”.
*Jose Forty Three suddenly stops himself in the excitement as he looks around the room with a confused interviewer, The Sanch and Laszlo Forty Two looking at him as well. Jose Forty Three sadly cannot read a room whatsoever*
Hey, Laszlo I sent you a T-Shirt of #TradeForJose43! Why aren’t you wearing it?
Laszlo Forty Two: Because you got traded you fucking idiot, you just can’t seem to understand that.
Jose Forty Three: Ja Jaa! Oh Lazzy! You sly dog! That is a good 1! Well, I guess I will be off! Remember to trade for meee!
*Jose Forty Three opens the exit door as The Sanch is right there standing outside as well. They look to each other, their eyes meet for the first time. It’s like they’re soulmates. The Sanch stands up to meet face to face with his hermano from another mother. Somehow this meeting, right here right now. It was destiny for these two to meet. They both extend their arms out and hug it out. Finally the two mexicans in different leagues have met, this was indeed destiny. What killed the defence? Teboat Forty Two! They both exclaim as they giggle like little school girls and hold hands as they ride off to the sunset in their green lowrider with red flames*
Zaki Castillo: That was the most ambitious crossover episode I’ve ever seen. I’m crying of happiness
Tom Teboat: That was fucking weird even for my standards bro
Laszlo Forty Two: Please...Just ask me another fucking football related question…
Zaki Castillo: What do you most want to accomplish during your time in the league?
Laszlo Forty Two: Well, in an ideal world. I get my jersey retired at the team I get drafted by and also make it into the hall of fame. That was and is my dream. But oh lord is that a hard as fuck dream to gun for. I am hoping one day the Yellow Knife lads retire my number since I helped Hanyadi win Most Valuable Player and won us an Ultimus but I was only around for 3 seasons and looking at how stacked they are with team Hall of Fame I do not know if that happens. So maybe just focus on making it with the sea wolves for now since I will not with Tijuana Luchadores probably. I hope that is the case at least. I am rather indecisive and I have made Laszlo be quite flexible with his seasons since I am mashing two careers together into one hybrid for my only cult story I am doing but we will see.
Tom Teboat: Well, I want to teach the kids about how important it is to have fun. I want to become an influencer to these kids and show them the way of Teboating. The values and respect that I have for this beautiful American sport are just second to what the future of our country looks like. I have to be a role model for some of these kids, somebody that they can look up to you know? It’s all about the journey and the friendships we made along the way *winks*
Zaki Castillo: Thoughts on the Norfolk locker room so far? Are you enjoying it?
Laszlo Forty Two: I will be brutally honest with this one. I genuinely love it. Today I actually ended up joining the Vancouver Vandals as well in the Pro Baseball Experience and it genuinely was great fun and was pinged by some amazing players over there to feel welcomed like never before and that was the same feeling.
People were hyped to have gotten me and happy to see me be picked up by the Norfolk team. Maybe this is an ego thing? I dunno but it felt quite nice to just see it happen I guess. I was also genuinely saddened at the time to see the Tijuana Luchadores did not pick me up but I know I have a good proper life home finally and can focus on getting on track with this. It feels pretty damn good honestly when I think about it.
I really like the people in that locker room a lot. Not that I did not like Tijuana Luchadores locker room, it was really nice but to be included in the other really cool and feels great. I can’t wait to just chat and chill and laugh at the weaker teams.
Wait, I do have one small problem with it. The Sanch is in that fucking locker room and he will no doubt go round and say that he is a 3 time Defensive Lineman of the Year when he is only a two time thanks to me and I built the dude who won the first 2 Defensive Lineman of the Year award! Kick him and we are golden!
Tom Teboat: I enjoy all the games they have and yeah, I was already invited pre-draft into it. Seems like a bunch of friendly folk who are willing to give us decent training advice on how to catch the perfect ball. Once I did get drafted I did see Dorfis Jimbo kicking out a bunch of rookies they didn’t draft with a baseball bat he found in my bag. I thought that was a little weird but other than that I have not seen any concerns at all and I’m sure I will have an absolute blast being a player for the Norfolk “Best Folk” Seawolves
Zaki Castillo: Well that about does it folks. Thank you so much for reading this really long two parter interview. I hope-
Tom Teboat: Wait, before we finish this off I do want to finish this thing off with a small prayer. Now I know this is unusual but I do enjoy the occasional Teboating as the kids these days call it. So people please gather round as we begin our prayer for our lord. I will be doing this in my native language, tagalog since I am from the Philippines. Do not worry though, for this is a judgement free zone and I will pray in both languages simultaneously so we can all participate *Laszlo Forty Two starts to get up so he can leave but he sees Sanch and Jose Forty Three waiting for him at the door. So he turns around back to the prayer circle*
Laszlo Forty Two: Sure, why not. You know I thought this was supposed to be out of character? Mr Forty Two hates everything about this...
Ama Namin (Our Father)
Sumasalangit ka (Thou art in heaven)
Sambahin ang ngalan mo (Hollowed be thy name)
Mapasaamin ang kaharian mo (Thy Kingdom come)
Sundin ang loob mo (Thy will be done)
Dito sa lupa, para ng sa langit (On earth, as it is in heaven)
Bigyan mo po kami ng aming kakanin (Give us this day)
Sa araw-araw (our daily bread)
At patawarin mo po kami (and forgive)
Sa aming mga sala (our tresspasses)
para nang pagpapatawad namin (As we forgive those)
Sa mga nagkakasala sa amin (Who tresspass against us)
At huwag mo po kaming ipahintulot sa tukso (and lead us not into temptation)
At iadya mo po kami (But deliver us)
Sa dilang masasama (From evil).
Amen
Zaki Castillo: Okay! And on that note I guess we can call this interview complete! It has been quite a wild and wacky time but now is the point to call it I feel. If you have been following a long I wish to thank you for your time and hopefully you look forward to the next installment of the interviews and until next time we will be seeing you on the field! Good bye!
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