(S26) Ultimus Week

[Gragg9]

T3.26 Does your player have any New Years’ resolutions? If so, do you think they’ll stick with them? Why or why not? (Anton Bruckner) (203 words)

As with most players in the league, eating healthy and working out is very much a habit for Bruckner. Instead, he decided to tackle the even more difficult new years resolution: drinking less coffee. There’s not a chance in hell he makes it. Bruckner has been a coffee drinker for as long as he’s been playing football. Now that his journey to the big leagues has begun in earnest, that energy and comfort will be more necessary than ever. Even if there are healthier and better ways to get that energy, there’s something to be said about the ritual of coffee amongst the trials and chaos of the ISFL. Those small moments of normalcy will keep Bruckner grounded, if a bit jittery.

The second resolution is a bit more straightforward and realistic. It’s likely the same resolution as every one of his peers. Get rostered in ISFL. This ones a bit tough to put a timeline on but will be the major driving force in Bruckner’s life for the foreseeable future. This one I do think he will accomplish. Though he’s inexperienced and perhaps naïve, he does have the drive, and coffee, to propel him through the DSFL and into the ISFL someday.



T2.8 Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

Anton Bruckner was born to an immigrant family in Silver City, Alaska. The city had a population 4 at the time (including Anton), though is currently down to 0. Living with only his mother, father, and younger brother led to him being naturally antisocial. The small ‘town’ experience afforded him plenty of space to run in though, so he grew up with plenty of activity. Most of his time was spent homeschooling or assisting his family in the silver mine (they never did find any silver). Eventually though it was time for Bruckner to be around other kids, so he made the daily journey of a 4 mile trek to the nearest town for high school.

There, at Haines Junction High School, is where Bruckner began his football career with the Haines Junction Phantoms. His coach made the natural choice of putting him in at running back due to his speed and how much running he did at home. For the first several years Anton had mediocre success due to his tendency to run right into a defender or two, usually laying them out, instead of taking clear running lanes. During this time he cultivated other talents like music, which would eventually get him scholarships to several schools. To everyone near him it seemed like he was destined for a career in music, far from the football field where he ended up. Bruckner’s career direction drastically changed when his coach, frustrated by his insistence on cooking up pancakes instead of running for touchdowns, changed him to O-line as punishment. Little did he know that was exactly what Anton needed to elevate to the next level. His last season in Haines Junction he broke state records and began to view football as more than just an after-school hobby.

After living his whole life in Silver City, Anton Bruckner accepted a scholarship at WU and moved to the big city. That big city was Williamson, North Carolina, population 17,000. While a great school for his music degree, WU is not and never will be known for its football program. That didn’t stop Anton from putting in the work on and off the field. Over time music became more of a past life and football began to be the future for Bruckner. His work was evident on the field but the small school and lack of significant opponents caused him to fly under the radar. Despite little initial attention from scouts Anton declared for the DSFL draft in his last year at WU.




T3.16 Your team has made it to the playoffs! Put together a pre-game playlist and explain how those songs will hype your players.

Anton Bruckner’s team made it to the playoffs by doing things differently. No reason to make the playlist any less...special. Presenting the music virtually guaranteed to turn your team into a playoff competitor:

Bruckner’s Symphony no. 7

Can’t quite put my finger on it. Something about the music of Anton Bruckner really appeals to Anton Bruckner. Maybe it’s the Wagner horns, maybe it’s fanfares, maybe it’s the setting. Dunno. Whatever it is, it’s sure to get the team hyped up.

Bach’s Passacaglia

There’s something about one person shredding on an instrument as large as a building that puts you in the mood to pancake a guy.

John Cage Fontana Mix

Nothing like the simmering rage that only unapproachable avant-garde music can give you. Watch the locker room work themselves up like never before while being forced to listen to music that ‘my dog could write’.

Darude Sandstorm

Obligatory of course. Pretty sure it’s against a league rule to not have this in the playlist.

Never Gonna Give You Up

Your team will hate you, but it will also remind them of all the times they ‘fell for it’. Guaranteed to make the team more vigilant. Expect less penalties and better performance against trick plays.

[Mojojojo]

Tier 2: Short Form Tasks
(each 400+ words; choose up to 2 for 5 TPE each)

12) It seems likely the league will undergo expansion again one day soon. What would you like to see in a new expansion team? What should it be called, where should it be located, and who do you think would be in the best position to GM? Explain why.
(WC = 410)

The league’s rebranding from the National to the International Simulation Football League only a few seasons ago is a great start for encouraging diversity of team locations and players. However, it happens that the DSFL remains more international (with three teams outside the U.S. in Bondi Beach, Tijuana, and London) than the ISFL (with only Berlin and Yellowknife outside the U.S.). And even across both the DSFL and ISFL, we have yet to see a team in Asia (South America, or Africa).

Therefore, I would like to introduce the league to the newest bid for an expansion franchise in Asia: the Seoul Searchers. This team is founded on the principle that “teamwork makes the dream work” and that happy users create better earning players. From the start, Seoul would place a premium on drafting users that want to be part of a drama-free community and whose players work hard to contribute to a shared team vision.


And who better to lead with this team-before-player mentality than a duo of defensive linemen who work in the trenches each and every play to hold the line of scrimmage. And these leaders are none other than Ernest Lover (user: me, @Mojojojo) and Manhattan Project (user: @Modern_Duke). This pair has the balance of new energy, to quickly build up a team culture and fun locker room, and  management experience, to be competitive in the sim league. The sharing of responsibilities would likely be more analogous to a general manager (Mojojojo) and Head Coach (Modern_Duke), with the GM handling the branding, community engagement, and recruitment and the head coach handling the playbooks and strategies game-to-game. Naturally, there would need to be strong collaboration between these roles so that the GM is picking users that fit not only the ethos, but also the game plan of the team.

On the field, Seoul would be a team known for its endurance and dogged persistence, wearing down opponents with their impenetrable defensive core (you already know who is going to be holding the line of scrimmage for years to come!). While it would be a defense-focused team, on the offensive side the team would be built around unsung heroes such as tight ends and fullbacks, relying on their help in run blocking and in the short-yardage passing game.

Off the field, Seoul would be a team known for tolerating differences of opinion and celebrating life and generosity beyond football. Seoul would encourage its players to respectfully confront toxicity and give back to the league.


15) You’ve been named Commissioner for a Week (your choice as to ISFL or DSFL). What do you do? Would you make any fast and drastic changes, or coast along with what’s already in place? Do you think you would do well in the position? If not, is there someone else that would?
(WC = 446)

If I were named Commissioner for a Week, I would like to tackle challenges in the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). As a relatively new user to the league (having just finished my second season), the importance of the DSFL in shaping a user’s experience and long-term league commitment is still fresh in my mind.

One of the pervasive problems of the DSFL that stuck out to me was the imbalance in team competitiveness season-to-season based on the number of call-ups to the ISFL from the season before. It was clear that, even the best drafting wasn’t able to fill some of the gaping roster holes on the DSFL teams. Having fewer active users on a team means a lack of competitiveness on the field (with most of the rest of the roster being filled with 50 TPE bots), which can be hard for new users who tune into the games only to lose each week. This problem has been noted by many, and some have proposed solutions such as giving compensatory draft picks based on the number of call-ups. But especially in smaller DSFL draft classes, those compensatory picks would necessarily mean fewer active players and users on other teams, potentially impacting locker room activity and many other aspects of league that could have negative consequences that are hard to predict. I think an under-explored solution to this problem is the use of GM bots. Currently, each DSFL team gets two GM bots, which start at 50 TPE and earn 10 TPE per week throughout the season. Instead of compensatory picks, DSFL teams could get an additional GM bot for each ~3 call-ups form their roster to keep the playing field more competitive. If I were DSFL commissioner for a week, I would want to explore this solution with DSFL GMs and others involved in HO.

I think that DSFL Commissioner is a position that requires a user who is decisive and charismatic so as to be able to enact change, but also collaborative and a good listener in order to productively engage with the community of DSFL GMs, Rookie Mentors, and users/players in the league. It’s a position that requires a leader without an ego. Beyond personality fit, I think it is also useful to have a DSFL commissioner that has history with the league and knowledge of its rulebooks, processes, and politics. In particular, I think the best users for the position would be those who have had recent experience on the Rookie Mentor team and therefore have their ears to the ground in terms of the new user experience and the questions that they have in navigating their time in the DSFL.

[shrub02]

Hey guys I just joined the league so I don't have much input onto how things are run. So I chose mainly easy prompts, mostly developing my player's backstory. I hope that doesn't come across as a cop out. Suffice that to say I am looking forward to playing!

16) Your team has made it to the playoffs! Put together a pre-game playlist and explain how those songs will hype your players. 2.5 TPE

Bodies by Drowning Pool - Classic hype song used to pump up players of all sports since it was released. This song gets you in the proper headspace to go out and play a violent game like football.
Hells Bells by ACDC - This song was used as walkout music by hall of fame closing pitcher Trevor Hoffman. As a kid, I loved watching him come out onto the field to seal the deal and get the win. The sound of the bells at the beginning just gets you in the zone. 
Headstrong by Trapt - Another classic pump-up song. The lyrics express the will to take on the world. When you're playing for the chance at a game as important as the Ultimus, that is the mindset you will need to win it all.
I'm Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murpheys - The Celtic vibes from this song make you feel like you're preparing for war. After listening to this, you know you will bring it. 
Bro Hymm by Pennywise - Brotherhood and camaraderie. At the fundamental level this is what football is all about. Without it, you cannot win.
GO! by Public Broadcast Servicing - This one is for the kickers. Maybe quarterbacks too. A song about man's first landing on the moon that will calm your nerves and put you in the zone. (221 words)

17) You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? 2.5 TPE

As CEO, Chief Entertainment Officer, for the Ultimus halftime show I plan on doing something no other halftime show has done before: a monster truck rally. Now you may be thinking "how can this be done? It will destroy the field!" Here's where you're wrong. Luckily for us the Ultimus being played at a stadium with a retractable field. When the first half concludes, we will pull back the field revealing a preformed monster truck arena. We will take advantage of the area below the grass that has previously been used for concerts, hockey rinks, and the such. The two trucks that we will be showcasing will be decked out with the insignias and colors of the teams competing for the championship. There will be plenty of pyrotechnics to go around as the trucks perform death defying tricks and feats. The culmination of the show will be when a line of cars are revealed, each representing a team that did not make it to the big one. Our two trucks will launch off of a ramp, soaring above the rest of the competition and demonstrating the heights that these two teams have achieved. This will be a halftime show that fans will not leave their seats for. (207 words)

22) Your player has been paid to endorse a product/service. What is it? How do you endorse it? 2.5 TPE

Bender Rodriguez has a well known reputation of being a fan of cigars. In fact, he was suspended for a game in college for pulling one out from his sock and lighting it on the field after he returned an interception for a pic-six during his freshman season (this was back when he played linebacker). While he has matured a bit since, his love of cigars never faded. The moment he declared for the draft, he received numerous offers to endorse a brand of cigars. He decided to go with his favorite: Hacking Jack. Rodriguez sees Hacking Jack as the kind of businessman he would like to work with. The kind that values profit over all else while putting out a product that just barely exceeds standards. Sometimes it doesn't even do that, but what do you expect from a guy named Hacking Jack. The flagship cigar that Hacking Jack decided to roll out with this endorsement is Le Grand Cigar. It is said that this piece of art is inspired by the cigars that Queen Elizabeth rolled during her "wild years." This cigar is rolled with the most semi-premium tobacco sourced directly from the gardens at Buckingham Palace. Le Grand Cigar produces smoke elegant enough to blow in the face of your in-laws! Or any other fool pretentious enough to think he's better than you! (226 words)

Does your player have any New Years’ resolutions? If so, do you think they’ll stick with them? Why or why not? 2.5 TPE

I, Bender Rodriguez, hereby declare that I will make this year better than the last. Last year was full of meatbags. No, literally. I ate way too many bags of meat: popplers. I mean for $1.99 a dozen how could you not? Man those tiny fried balls of mystery meat are delicious. They smell so good I even shoved one up my nose. I didn't sue though. Just missed a week of training camp. That's okay, I still had a great season. This year will be different though. I will be giving up popplers for the entire year! Well at least through the end of training camp. I'm hoping that this sacrifice will increase my endurance. Without eating all of those little fried balls of goodness I should be able to get in the best shape of my life. I need this going into my first draft ever.  With a Fishy Joe's food joint on every corner, its going to be tough to not pop a poppler in my mouth whenever I get the craving. They are just so good. I just want to pick 'em, lick 'em, and chew 'em. There is a Fishy Joe's right there! Maybe just one one bag won't hurt. No! I can't. Not if I'm going to be the best tightend in the ISFL. I'll just go smoke a cigar, relieve the edge. (229 words)

[Ry_]

Long Form Task 2: Draft Class

The Season 20 Draft class was easily one of the weaker draft classes the ISFL had ever produced. Thankfully, the following draft classes, like Season 21, Season 23, and beyond have created plenty of high quality players to fill the ranks. Surprisingly though, there's plenty of stories to talk about in the S20 class. From one of the greatest steals ever, to the solid consistency of the top dogs Desmond Scarlett, Venus Powers, and Darrel Williams, the middle tier players, the wiki page for the player with no claimed TPE... etc etc. Onto the S20 Draft!

With the first overall pick, the Austin Copperheads select....
According to most mock drafts, this was a no-brainer selection. Darrel Williams had a slight TPE lead on Venus Powers, the top kicker in the S20 draft, and then it was a long way down before the next player on the draft board would be found, at least in TPE. Most mock drafts had Darrel at the top, but Darrel had actually.. not been contacted by a top team? The TPE leader of the class? It made sense at the time, because Austin had their running back of the future in Mako Mendonca, but this lack of communication was larger than imagined. Darrel would end up dropping to seventh in the draft, but let's talk about who went ahead of him:
Kyle Idlewyld, the first overall selection. Not a bad pick by any means; Kyle made a pro bowl in his time in the ISFL, and helped shore up a position of need for the Copperheads. Sadly, his player is now retired, so he did not make it to regression.
Desmond Scarlett: The current TPE leader of the S20 draft class, and most likely the best pick of the draft. While San Jose could've gone to other positions, they correctly selected the best player on the board and were rewarded handsomely for those efforts. While Desmond was not a TPE leader at the start of S20, he slowly and steadily max earned, working his way to the top of the class. Only three players have held the honor at being of the top of the S20 Draft Class: Darrel Williams, then Venus Powers, and now currently Desmond Scarlett. These three players will definitely have a bit extra being written about them, since they have defined the class in a way; but there are still 6-7 top tier players that came out of this class.
Reggie Culbertson: Also no longer in the league. With seven pro bowlers being selected after this, you could regard this pick as a bust, at least for current value.
Randy Vuxta: Easily one of the most exciting prospects in this class. A former GM and star WR, Vuxta has not entirely lived up to the hype, but I would include him on the extended eight-person list of the defining S20 players, albeit he does not crack the top 5. Solid pick.
Jacoby Clay: While still in the league, for the fifth overall pick to not eclipse 500 TPE is pretty disappointing. 
Thor Kirkby: Not dead yet! One of only three players in this class to update last week, while Kirkby is not in the top 5 in the class, he also joins Vuxta in the Hall of Good S20 players. He is also the only pro bowler selected from this class from the second to the sixth pick.

And now my player, Darrel Williams. Darrel currently sits at second in total TPE, after bouncing around a bit from first to third, but never going below that mark for S20 players. I was very surprised watching Darrel fall to seven, and while his career has been unremarkable, his longevity and overall potential to still have an impact in the league puts him as one of the top five influential and defining players in the S20 class. I'd expect his career, as the rest of the top tier S20 players, to last a few more seasons with his mark on the league still not completely over.

Who's left after the seventh selection? Plenty, in fact. The next major player is Venus Powers, selected fourteenth overall. The top earner in the class for many months in 2020, one of the most dedicated and well earning kickers of the league remains kicking(haha). Venus is also one of the top five defining players in the class, for their overall incredible TPE earning on top of solid performances, awards, and pro bowls to back it up. A potential hall of famer?

At seventeen there is Galf Wilf, led by the legendary user Moosecop. Over 1150 TPE and still dominating, Galf is one of the few surprises in this class, easily joining a spot in the top five with Pro Bowls to boot.

And finally, arguably the greatest draft steal of all time, selected only a few picks from the bottom, at 33rd overall, surrounded by utter busts, is Jamie Nkiah. A safety at 1250 TPE, somehow FOURTH in the class! At 33rd overall in this class! Mind you, a FIFTY-SEVEN TPE player was selected 23rd overall! And I'm not talking about 57 TPE then. I'm talking about right now, they have 57 TPE. And they were a kicker! Absolutely incredible a player of this skill was still around at 33. Huge steal for the Outlaws and big contributor for the Sailfish.

899 words

[Archinity]

8) Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

430 words
Archie Griffin began his legacy at 6 years old. Playing little league football for the local city-rec league, everyone knew from a young age he was going to be something special. He started off playing Quarterback. From there, his coaches realized he was just too fierce of a runner to be slinging the football, as he was always leaving the pocket to make plays as he didn’t have a very strong arm at a young age. At 12 years old, before entering High School, his parents had gotten a divorce, which he became depressed and no longer wanted to play football anymore. He met with the local High School coach, who for all purposes, took him in as his own. Knowing that talent couldn’t be wasted, the coach allowed Archie to move in with his family, or be forced to move out of state with his mother. He was moved to Running Back. From there, he never looked back. Archie’s High School performance beginning as a freshman landed his first and only collegiate scholarship to the University of Michigan. Other teams and colleges thought he wasn’t going to be reliable, as in didn’t have a secure homelife, having to been bounced around between his father, mother, and coach. Coach Sapp’ from his High School was intrigued to hear his story, and wanted him to be as successful as he once was in his life. Both knowing a talent like this could just not be wasted. Heading to Michigan, where he recorded the season highest for running yards per season, and also holding the single most rushing yards in program history in the game against Rutgers. Archie really made it look easy. From proving every team wrong that would never give him a chance. He possessed powerful inside running between the tackles in the Big Ten, he led the Wolverines to a Big Ten Championship overtaking the Northwestern Wildcats by a landslide, of 40-21 victory. Recording 215 rushing yards on 24 carries. Archie going into his senior season decided enough was enough, and he now wanted to prove himself to the world in a professional aspect. Being bounced around from home to home, and some nights sleeping out of his car, he knew he needed this. This was all he had. Heading to the DSFL was his only decision, and the only decision he wanted to make considering the life he had come from. He vowed to be the hardest worker in the room, who would be the first to every practice, and the last to leave. Archie Griffin had something to prove, and he will be there to show you.



13) Write about your team’s biggest rivalry and what makes it so fierce. Is the competition founded in statistics and the team’s recent performance, or is it a rivalry that developed over time during the team’s history that would exist regardless of statistics?


510 words
The Ohio State Buckeyes. Since 1897. This game is what the players live for. The Game. This game is what the north and south live for in Michigan and Ohio. Archie Griffin knew going to the University of Michigan, the season revolved around this game. The game. He knew what it meant to the fans, and the state of Michigan. They knew, they had to win this game. Ohio State has led the series since 2011, boasting 8 straight wins against Michigan. Not until this year. Leading rusher Archie Griffin recorded 3 rushing TD’s 198 yards on 22 attempts pulling out the upset 28-27. This rivalry means a lot to the fans, coaches, players, the state, and to college football as a whole. Archie was being compared to the one-time Ohio State RB Archie Griffin who in-fact, Archie was named after given they had the same last name, as his father was a huge fan of Archie growing up in Columbus, then having to move to the city of Detroit for his job. Many questioned why Archie Griffin chose to go to Michigan, and he only replied with, that’s the only ones who would give me a chance, he didn’t want to be associated with the great Archie Griffin from Ohio State, he wanted to create his own identity, and one he could be proud of, and not looked down on for going to Michigan, instead of Ohio State. Many questioned why Archie chose to declare for the draft instead of under-going his senior season to get a back-to-back victory in The Game. The rivalry boasts from 1897-2020 with Michigan leading the series 58-51-6. Which Ohio State has been slowly creeping back to close the gap, this game will still be one of the all-time greatest rivalry’s college football has ever witnessed. Either team could have been doing terrible during the respected seasons, but still show up and potentially upset the other, as the tensions in this rivalry are among the strongest in college football. In 2010, the Big Ten Conference announced that the University of Nebraska would be joining the Big Ten the following year, and that the Big Ten would be split into two divisions. When rumors surfaced that Ohio State and Michigan would be placed in different divisions, concerns arose that the teams might no longer play the last game of the regular season to avoid potential back-to-back games if each team won their division and earned the right to play in the Big Ten Championship game. Fans bombarded the athletic directors of both schools, as well as the Big Ten commissioner with emails, creating pressure to keep The game as the regular season finale. Ultimately, Michigan was placed in the Legends Division and Ohio State in the Leaders Division. The Michigan–Ohio State game became a "protected crossover" game, to be played every year at the end of the regular season.  The game became a division matchup in 2014 under the Big Ten's geographical realignment. Michigan and Ohio State were both placed in the East Division.

[Asked Madden]

9: like a lot of people here I joined with a reddit class - not really knowing what to expect but planning on just being a medium earner, maybe check the stats after games and that was about it. I'd only touched discord in the past to chat to a couple of friends playing civ.
That all changed very quickly in the pre draft process for DSFL. The first thing I received was an invite to the London locker room quickly followed by a forum message from Gucci with a questionnaire. This questionnaire was good fun - I had 0 clue about ISFL at the time so whilst other teams were asking about my ambitions as a player, Dallas were asking me my favourite dinosaur & whether I find my mother attractive (she's a beautiful lady & a Saint).
I pretty quickly worked out I wanted to be drafted here. And it was key in keeping me interested in the league that first season. The people in that locker room have all been fantastic - I joined with a couple of irl friends two of whom got drafted with me to Dallas, they have both sadly all but packed it in and you'd expect me to follow suit. Instead the opposite has happened. I've been able to come out of my shell a lot more - I feel like these guys and gals are great friends even though I've never met a single one of them.
Getting drafted to San Jose was great though once again I felt like I didn't know anyone there (bar Rradum). They have made me feel more than welcome and again invited me into the war room. I'm really starting to feel like a part of the Sabercat family and will likely play out a full career here (if they'll have me). So to cut a long story short - the community kept me interested and winning an ultimus was okay as well I suppose. Its just a shame Crowder sucks!
There is 1 thing I'd change in the league if I could: I wish people would stop being so uptight about the goings on in twitter. "oh no Zayn photoshopped that teams logo to look like a dick" "Zayn said my beach was too kinky" "why would Dallas let him run twitter". Its a fake league - don't hit me with the "it's not professional" bullshit. This isnt work, I come on here for fun. And these antics make me laugh. "it wouldn't look professional if a real team did it" - I'd still laugh. Stop taking everything so seriously.

(429 words) 

17: Picture this: a darkened stadium. All lights switched off. People have been told to keep their phones off or they'll be thrown out. Nobody knows who is leading the half time show, the tension in the room is palpable.

There's a low rumble playing, it's subtle - getting ever so slightly louder as the seconds pass to minutes. Still no inkling of who will come on stage the crowd starts to get an excited murmuring spreading round the stadium like a rash.
*Boom* two cannons shoot huge pillars of flame, lighting up the stadium for a couple of seconds. Could this be a clue as to who we're about to see.
Then a swarm of thousands of drones come flying through the tunnel all illuminated a bright orange. They get into formation in the middle of the arena - almost making a TV screen. The arena goes silent with expectation. A figure can be seen on the top of the stadium roof spotlight on.
A ghostly voice echos around the stadium "We're no strangers to love"
His face flashes up on the drone screen. The crowd goes wild.
The figure jumps off the stadium roof opening a parachute as he goes, landing right in the middle of the field.
"You know the rules and so do I"
(216 words)


22: Raylan Crowder is asked to promote Maximuscles latest pre workout powder:
Advert:
Everyone knows Raylan Crowder is big and strong. Well how did he get this way? Mostly through hard work, determination, being first person in and last person out yada yada yada. However how did he get this way, how did he get that energy to keep on going when others hit their limit?
Pre-workout powder! That's right a good pre workout shake can keep you fuelled for hours at a time - Crowder tried plenty of these over time - MyProtein, n0explode, Jack3D and they all lacked something. We at Maximuscle brought Crowder in and worked together on our new product "Raylan Crowders Workout Powder". This product makes your toes tingle  and let's you see colours you never knew existed. A word from our figurehead now
"It's great - it makes your face tubgk so you know that it's good. Sometimes I'll take it before going to bed to workout in my dreams."

This powder comes in blueberry, raspberry and our bestselling Chicken chowder flavour.
May contain traces of nuts, don't use if you have heart problems or asthma. Side effects may include: heart palpatations, temporary blindness, increased blood flow to the genitals, tinnitus, death, uncontrollable coughing, impotence, muscle loss.
Ask your doctor about Raylan Crowders Workout Powder today!

(219 words) 

Updated

[Hordle]

8. Alexander Franklin was born to Heather Franklin and Carter Franklin. On May 12th, 2017. Spending all of his young life in Sanford, going to school at Western Harnett High. The oldest of six, Alex was used to breaking up fights between his siblings so settled in on the offensive line because it felt natural. Growing up on the farm, Alex had a lot of opportunities to build his strength. From dealing with 800 pound cattle to throwing hay bales around. His day to day life was a great start for building muscle. Highschool was pretty average for the young man. Having a relatively easy time with classes and playing football in the afternoon. Alex had plenty to keep him busy and out of trouble. 

Alex started at the guard position his freshman year and would hold it until graduation. Known for busting open holes for the running back and keeping his quarterback off his ass. He was able to catch the eyes of a scout from the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. Who offered him a scholarship if he would play football for the team. Excited to be a Tarheel, Alex focused harder on his studies. Dropping wrestling as a hobby so that he could focus more on his grades and of course playing football. Succeeding in math's and sciences. He also enjoyed wrestling and weight lifting while at the school. Winning three separate invitationals. One his sophomore year, one his junior and one his senior. Alex contributes his wrestling to his upper body and grip strength. Alex benched a total weight of 230LBS a total of twenty three times.

Earning a scholarship, Alexander went to UNC for a degree in Computer Science and to persue a possible career in football. Earning only two starts filling in for an injured Harris Hite. Alexander allowed zero sacks in the final game of the season. Really beginning his career as a sophomore, Alexander impressed with 20 pancakes in 13 games as well as a game with zero sacks allowed. Alexander locked in his spot as an offensive line guard. Durning his Junior year however, Alex was asked by his head coach to fill in as the center. Alex rotated starts between guard and center for the majority of his Junior year before taking on the center role full time as a Senior. Winning the Outland Award and the Rimington Trophy his senior year. Alexander declared for the DSFL draft in 2041.

WC= 410


12: LADIES AND GENTLE WORMS! MAY I PRESENT TO YOU THE NEWEST! BESTEST! MOST INTERNATIONAL OF INTERNATIONAL SPORTS THINGS! That’s not really true I mean they could do something like the moon right @Modern_Duke ? Anyway, my expansion bid is actually being featured in a media piece. Located in Krakow, Poland. I present to you the Krakow Knights! Now I know that a lot of people are gonna say that the Knights is an unoriginal name. That it’s something you’d see in backyard baseball. And while that’s fair there is a good reason for this name. Krakow is overflowing with medieval history. Nested on the Vistula River in the Lesser Poland province. The city of Krakow has been dated back to the 7th century. Many of the old buildings still stand and the Old Town has been declared the first UNESCO World Heritage Site. And it was Poland's official capital until 1596. NOT ONLY THAT! But legend says that it's  original ruler, Krakus built the city above a cave occupied by a DRAGON named Smok! And Knights fight dragons! So… Yeah I mean medieval history and dragons…

But I’m sure many of you don’t care. But I know what you do care about. Uniforms. While I have no artistic talents, I can tell you that the team colors would be based on the flag, which is white and blue. As well as the coat of arms, which adds yellow and red to the mix. The acronym would be KRK to avoid any relations to a certain group. Now there would need to be a stadium built but that’s all in the fine print.

Now for the best part! I’ve even got a co-gm selected and his name is PLAT! THAT’S RIGHT LONDON'S FAVORITE IA BUT NOT IA OL! Actually maybe not, but it would be fun. I don’t really know if Plat would wanna deal with all that. Plus it would probably be better to have someone slightly more experienced. Love you @platanocat  <3

Anyway, I think a team in Poland would help with the International branding of the league. If they were in the DSFL it could also give a team like London a bit of a closer rival. The city that claims to be Royal vs the city drenched in history!

This would also help to build Poland's tourism. Money invested back in the city to preserve the natural history of the area.

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[maupassant]

12) It seems likely the league will undergo expansion again one day soon. What would you like to see in a new expansion team? What should it be called, where should it be located, and who do you think would be in the best position to GM? Explain why. (+5 TPE)

Brazil is actually a decent market for football that sometimes flies under the radar. During the last decades the number of fans has experienced a vigorous increase. I think having one expansion team based on South America would do wonders for the league, as it would not only attract fans from a whole plethora of countries but actually allow the league to find new “diamond in the rough” type of athletic players in these parts of the world. There are plenty of cities that would deserve the nod in Brazil, but I think the one best suited for a team would have to be Rio de Janeiro. The paradisiac city already has a large number of tourists on a regular basis and a strong sports scene with multiple soccer teams and stadium that are in the top tier of the sport in the country. As for the name, the options are limitless. The very rich fauna of Brazil makes for the amount of animal names for the team to choose from almost endless. I think the best ones are Toucans (a very colorful and beaultiful bird), Marmosets (a great name and a very cute monkey) and the Capybaras (actually the biggest rodents in the world). I would expect a team in such a different location to bring a lot of attention for the league and although the logistics of having a team in such a distant country seems weird it is fair to remember that a London team already existis and many lobby for a new Asian team which would be ever tougher in a logistics standpoint. Brazil is relatively close to the USA and its culture, although with many differences, its really USA based and the player would have a great time living in such a country. As for who should be the GM, I am sorry to say that being a newcomer in the league I am not yet knowledgeable of the people that make this community and would be unfair for me to point out anyone in particular. I am sure there are plenty of people that would make great GMs for such a team and would expect the job (and the opportunity to live in such a different part of the world) to attract the most capable ones. To summarize, the Rio de Janeiro Marmosets are choice for name and location of a possible expansion team in the (hopefully) very near future.

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20) Pretend injuries are a thing in the ISFL and your team has had a lot of them lately – so many that your GM has asked you to play out of position. What position are they asking you to play and what about your player build will help you succeed in this role? (+2,5 TPE)

Being a relatively short at 6’0 and fast QB, it is expected that the main position where Erik Gaare would play outside of his own would be WR. He doesn’t have WR hands but in an injury emergency case he could definitely do the job. He has actually never played the position and that choice would be made on athleticism alone. But that wouldn’t be the only position he could fill in for. During his years in High School in Boulder, CO, he actually played a lot of different positions on the defensive side of the ball, including Safety and Cornerback. An astute athlete with love for the sport and desire to win at all costs, he could actually do a decent job at those positions. Many QB prospects tend to affirm that they will play QB no matter what as sometimes the narrative that they should play other positions affects the way teams evaluate them, but Erik is aware that there are numerous amazing QBs in the league and QB prospects in this draft already and although he would love to get the opportunity to prove himself as a QB of the future, he is also prepared to help the team that believes in him no matter what.

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26) Does your player have any New Years’ resolutions? If so, do you think they’ll stick with them? Why or why not? (+2,5 TPE)

As a S28 rookie and not even on a team yet, Erik Gaare has the obvious resolution of putting himself in the best possible chance of being drafted to a team that truly believes in him as a QB1 for the future. He has a lot to prove and hopes that this year will be the best of his life as he expects to get to de DSFL and eventually to the ISFL.
Other than that he has a couple of pretty common resolutions such as reading more books and keeping healthy habits such as sleeping well and eating as healthy as his sugar compulsion will allow him. He is addicted to Skittles and hopes that this will be the year that he will finally stop eating these little candy drugs.
Erik also hopes he can contribute back to the community that embraced him when he moved from Norway to the USA and expects to get enough checks out of the league so that he can make a difference in the life of many kids who hope to one day be a part of the league that is opening so many doors for him. He hopes to payback to the city of Boulder everything they gave him and someday make the city proud.


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[AW13]

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9) What is it that keeps you interested in the league? Is it your love of dot football, the community, a specific job or role you play, or something else? What do you like most about it? What could be improved?

That is a very good question and it is one that has more than one answer I think because, now on my 3rd player, there has to be something that keeps me around, right?

1. First, I would say the community as a whole is really great, and most specifically the locker rooms that I have been a part of such as my early days in Portland to Myrtle Beach to Dallas in the DSFL and well, just San Jose in the ISFL though that looks to change soon which will be interesting. I have never been part of another ISFL/NSFL locker room but it appears that another team will likely have a better chance to draft Joliet Christ Jr. than San Jose would as Monty Jack still has a good amount of seasons left in him. When you are in a locker room, you become part of that organization and part of the family and a bunch of people fighting for that elusive Ultimus title brings everyone together and it is a great time. In more general terms however, it is a collective effort that makes the ISFL work and front office, general managers, bankers, updaters, and more have a huge role in keeping it going and it is much appreciated!

2. The sense of accomplishment is a big thing for me as well in these sim leagues and setting goals and such and accomplishing those goals is always great. Having a player and being a guy that people want to draft, have in your locker room, and having people have faith that you will improve your player enough is pretty realistic in terms of overall scouting and general potential based games and such. General managers really need to prepare and I love being a GM in these sim leagues because really it feels like a real experience and a lot of stuff goes into it. Finding the right players that will become the best and are loyal to the team as well as finding people to all mesh together in a locker room as well. A lot of different sort of cliques form over some seasons as well and it is interesting as well.

3. Bringing a player to life is a very fun experience as well and while I have not had much different chances to build a story I feel like now I can have a very solid player story having the son of my first player. While of course I did build a story on my first player, I can kind of continue that and build more on him along with a brand new part of a story with my next player continuing the legacy. Joliet Christ Jr. gets to be his own player but for people that remember the senior version, they at least know how the story is continuing. I am excited about building stories and building a career from my players and that is another part of the league I enjoy!

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12) It seems likely the league will undergo expansion again one day soon. What would you like to see in a new expansion team? What should it be called, where should it be located, and who do you think would be in the best position to GM? Explain why.

I always love talking about this stuff and I feel like it is a pretty category to talk about as well because of all the options that there are with an expansion team and having run one myself in the PBE, I know what it is like to build a locker room from the ground up, start a team from scratch and get to the highest levels of league play!

Now of course you have to talk about the branding and that discussion number one and because we both use international and American teams in this league I will give an example of both!

USA:
The Atlanta Osprey

Atlanta is a wonderful sports city despite lack of overall success when it comes to championships but a city that has 4 major professional sports in real life in basketball, football, baseball and soccer, it should be considered. Atlanta is my current home city in real life as well so it draws me to it. The Osprey branding is it being a cool bird and Atlanta is known for having some teams with birds such as the Falcons and the Hawks. I would probably have to go some kind of combination of red and black or red and blue for an Atlanta branding!

International:
My idea for a team last time was the Cape Town Craze and it was based of course in Cape Town, South Africa! Not known for football, South Africa would be one of those unique places to house a team in the league and I think the branding could be super fun. The Craze would be met with a Shark most likely or even a Vuvuzela and just have some wild coloring. Africa is a wonderful colorful place so you'd need the greens, yellows, reds, and blacks in the color palette and maybe much more!

As far as who should GM them? Me of course! They are my branding ideas of course but I likely wouldn't submit an application this time around having lost out on the previous two expansions though I think I should have had more of a chance. It is okay though, I am now a GM again in the PBE so that is where my time goes as well as my GM job in the EFL! I think I am an underrated GM in sim leagues and usually find success wherever I GM or at least co-GM as I have had success in EFL, PBE, and even here with San Jose as a co-GM and QB. I'd rather be a player though so I'd say any of the war room guys in San Jose are deserving of a shot to GM an expansion team in the league! Also get me a QB spot!