(S27) PT4 - Superstar

[Rusfan]

Joel Drake was never one for the spotlight. As a young player from the small town of Gary Indiana his skill with the football was about the only thing that mattered to him, everything else was secondary. That included worrying about any and all communication skills. When he found early success at the ISFL level he was quickly approached by many people all hoping to make him the face of their movie/Book/toilet paper. None of those options found especially much success. Acting was the first task and that became clear very early that even in a commercial for Kraft Mac n Cheese he just didn’t have the charisma for it. Modeling for products was the obvious next choice, and Drake had no shortage of suitors still looking for his image in anything from cereal boxes to the aforementioned toilet paper. However there was a secondary issue. The intensity of the light needed to make his facial features stand out was blinding even for those used to the camera. For Drake this hurdle was simply too much to overcome, and by the second day of what was supposed to be a 2 hour shoot, he was quietly let go. Drake has still not appeared in any kind of filmed medium, but he has worked with people knowledgeable in these areas of anxiety, and hopes to expand his horizons soon.

[Jo3fish5]

BREAKING NEWS: Reports are coming in from the top of the hour that state Berlin Fire Salamanders star running back is going to be given the leading role in Paramount’s upcoming movie, Frogge. Our reporters went to his house located underneath some tree in a field somewhere in Germany for an exclusive interview with the newest athlete - actor. When we asked him if he could spare any details about the upcoming movie, which has already received a 9.8 stars from IMDB and is certified fresh on Rotten Potatos, he said he was only allowed to say the following: “ A frogge biþ a smale beaste wiþ foure leggeys, whiche liueþ boþe in þe water and on londe. Hit biþ ofte tyme broune or grene or yelowe; or be hit tropyckal, hit may haue dyuers coloures lyk reed, blewe, and blak and liue in trees. Hit haþ longys and guilles boþe. Þe frogges skyn lokeþ glossi bi cause of his secrecioun, whiche may been poisounous. Moste frogges haue nought a tayl an þeire lymes be yfolden under his likame. His frounte two feet haue four tos and his bak two feet haue fif tos. Þes tos stiken wele to wode, rocke and glas. Froggen moste be in þe water to spawne. Þe frogge haccheþ from an ey and hit þanne becomeþ a tadpolle. It groweþ to þanne a frogge, iþ hit be nought eten. Som male frogges maken loude souns wiþ þeire mouþs for to make þeimselves knowen to femmelles. Som þe femmelles refusen.” When asked further questions about the already hit movie, all he did was give us ribbits and refused to speak further on the matter. Frogge is coming to theatres near you in December of 2043. We will be waiting alongside you as you wait for it to come out, Channel 0 News.

[moonlight]

Big Slammu is in the midst of his 2nd season in the International Simulation Football League. Big Slammu has had 9 times the amount of sacks he had in his rookie season, and just had a game where he had 3 sacks in a game. His current career high. Outside of his great play in football, he is one of the most charismatic individuals in the ISFL. He is a total media darling, and is one of most recognizable players in the ISFL. A new reality show has been proposed with Big Slammu as the center piece. It will deal with all aspects of his life, including fighting crime, his dating life, his work out regime and so on. Big Slammu is still fighting crime with his brother sharks and that takes up a lot of his time. His dating life is healthy as many girls are dying for that shark bod and want some half shark babies. While Big Slammu works out for football, he mostly does it for the girls. Big Slammu is kinda of a meathead, and his motivations for football revolve around fame, money, girls and glory, but not necessarily for love of the game. It is certainly controversial, especially for the old guys, but that's what sells. Big Slammu's reality show should be a big success.

Code:

221 words

[MobiausGrander]

As we wind down the season and prepare for the playoffs, I was approached by a famous producer in the ISFL world and proposed to do a collaboration with him on a project. I agreed to it; the project is me being filmed demonstrating and teaching people tips and tricks on how to become a better football player, how to improve your stamina and athleticism, and for a little fun, a view into my video game life. I was thinking that we can do a "short" (or at least short in today's internet standards) series of about 2 seasons where I can incorporate the above topics into its own season. I would like to do season 1 as a sort of introduction to myself and spend the whole season detailing the tips and show how one's stamina and athleticism can be increased over time through a episode by episode montage of training. For the other season, Season 2, I was thinking that to build off of season 2, I could also through episode by episode and detail different ways to improve one's ability on the football field through the showing of different training routines and motions out on the football field. If it does get made, I hope the series is a decent success!

[Cklues]

Logan Anderson was recently approached by Innova Discs, a lead brand for professional disc golf. Anderson has been an avid disc golfer through his entire life, and it is one of the main activities he partakes in during the offseason. Innova expressed a desire to sponsor Anderson and his disc golf game. Reporters at Jomez, a leading broadcasting studio for professional disc golf, have gotten into contact with Anderson to hear his thoughts.

Reporter: “Logan thank you for your time today, how do you feel now, realizing your dream in not one, but two professional sports?”
Anderson: “I feel incredibly blessed and know that I am extremely lucky to have the things that I have and to have the abilities that I have. I wake up every day and feel thankful for where I am in life.”

Reporter: “Do you think that this sponsorship will be a problem for your endeavors in the ISFL?”

Anderson: “Absolutely not, my heart lies with the Pythons and for whatever team drafts me in this upcoming draft. My time in disc golf has not put me back in my preparations for the draft and I am ready as I can possible be.”

Reporter: “Your sponsorship has brought a lot of attention to the sport that would have otherwise not have been there. This is similar to what happened when Brodie Smith joined the PDGA”

Anderson: “I know that, and it is part of the reason I decided to accept the sponsorship. My heart lies with football but this sponsorship will bring more attention to disc golf that would otherwise not have been there, and will help grow the sport. It has also been an honor being on the course with legends like Paul mcbeth and Calvin Heimburg. I look forward to seeing them in tournaments in the offseason.”

Reporter: “Thank you Logan, that’s all we have for you today”

[GlimsTC]

The idea is simple: We bring Felix Archstone, the offensive lineman, to busy streets all around Austin, Texas, and then have him block people trying to jaywalk. A camera would follow Felix around on the streets as he looks for people to block from committing one of the most common broken law's facing the United States. People would watch as Felix faces off against some of the most stubborn people imaginable in a hilarious one-on-one showdown. Inspired by the hit series Cart-Narcs, The Stone Patrol seeks to further advance the fight against lazyboneitis and help advocate for common courtesy among the public.

To ensure Felix himself doesn't get in trouble, he'll be equipped with some of the highest technical narcing gear possible, along with boxing pads to ensure that his hands never actually touch the lazybones they're showcasing. He'll also be in a flak-jacket that says "STONE PATROL" so he can always let them know the force they've brought upon them. Lastly, he'll be equipped with a megaphone and a stop sign. The megaphone and stop sign combo are the first lines of defense that Felix can use before resorting to what's helped him make his mark as an ISFL player - Tough and physical blocking.

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