(S27) Ultimus Week

[Philliesphan96]

PBE affiliate +2.5 TPE

Tier 2 Task 15 +5 TPE

As many people in this league know, my loyalties are not with the International Sim Football League. Do not get me wrong, I love the International Sim Football League and being in it. I wish I have been more involved and plan on being more involved. My loyalties, although priorities may be a better word than loyalties, lie with the Pro Baseball Experience. The Pro Baseball Experience was my first sim league all the way back in September of 2019. I had no idea what I was signing up for and ended up being drafted in the first round by the Cancun Toros. Days later, the minor league draft happened and I went first overall to the Dallas Dynamos. We ended up winning the minor league world series the following season and my last season in the minors in S15. To this day, that S15 world series win is still Dallas's only world series title. I then went to the majors and pitched a season in the majors being a starter right away as the Toros were still building their team. This was right around February of 2020. @KC15 and I applied for a major league expansion team together and we got. We then drafted our first draft class and had them help us with our branding. That was the birth of the New Orleans Rougarous. S18 was our first season fielding a team and we were almost historically bad. Every season since, we have increased our win total every season likely peaking this last season at 73 wins and 35 losses. After a few seasons KC stepped down and I took over as head GM and @Eldorian stepped up as the best Co-GM in the league (if not the best GM). This was good enough to tie for second in the league only 2 games behind the league leader and get a first round bye in the playoffs due to winning the Eastern Division. After a sweep of the New York Voyagers in the second round of the playoffs and giving us our first playoff win, first playoff series win, and first World Series Appearance, we were set to face off against the San Antonio Sloths in the Pro Baseball Experience World Series in S23 last season. After taking the first game of the series on the road, San Antonio tied it up. The series was tied up 1-1 going back to New Orleans for 3 games. We took the first 2 to go up 3-1 and dropped the last game going back to San Antonio at a 3-2 series. Lost the first game back in San Antonio big to even the series at 3-3. It took overtime in game 7 to see a winner. In the top of the 11th inning Richie Bonanza hit a 2 run homerun to take the lead and win the Pro Baseball Experience World Series! To anyone looking for another league to join, I highly recommend the Pro Baseball Experience. It has a great community, amazing streams, and the best sim engine of all sports sim engines.

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Tier 3 Task 22 +2.5 TPE

Tomage McGulager has been endorsed by the fast food mega-chain that is McDonalds. McDonalds has been scooping up players whose last names start with the letters Mc. McDonalds has already endorsed PBE stars like Toby McMuffin and Coco McQueen. Tomage McGullager is just the latest sim league star to be endorsed by the fast food tycoon. With Tomage McGullager taking a pay cut with Austin, he finally caved into McDonalds' endless pursuit of his sponsorship. Tomage McGullager had been trying to not join the McDonalds sponsorship family due to the many different crazy requirements that McDonalds requires of their sponsors. But with the pay cut that he took, he finally was desperate enough for money that he took the offer of the mulit-billion dollar company. Some of the requirements make sense such as you must have a clean record with no felonies or convicted crimes. Some of the requirements are just crazy like you must have McDonalds once a day and at least once a week have their breakfast, lunch, and dinner and post each McDonalds meal on social media. Some of the requirements just do not make any sense, like you must always have at least one pet parrot named Michael with exactly 7 green feathers all on the left side of its body.

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[speculadora]

PBE Affiliation

[StamkosFan]

SHL PT

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8) Write about a potential new recruitment strategy for the league. How can we attract more new players, and what can we do to retain them better?

 
Perhaps there would be a way to partner with Youtubers, sponsoring videos and in return they would promote the league to their sports fan viewers. Sponsorships have long been a way to recruit people to games, sites, and apps, as the people on there are inclined to both their niche interest and technology, the combo ISFL needs to draw in viewers. While we already recruit heavily on Reddit, we could investigate paid avenues on there as well to get onto subs that will not let us advertise at the moment. I'm talking r/gaming and r/sports, the big guns. It also would not be affected by upvoting nor could it be construed as brigading, so it might fit better within Reddit's annoying definition of vote manipulation. The last thing we want is to get nailed for violating their terms of service, that would set us back awhile. Lastly, we could promote more heavily on PBE and SHL, doing some specific pushes to get more users to cross over between our leagues. People over there are already involved with sim leagues and know what they're doing, we just need to give them incentive to join, perhaps a once per player +2 TPE if you're active in at least one other affiliate league for a month? It does not have to be anything huge or game breaking, all people need is a push to go outside the sport they're comfortable with.

As for retention, more events and point tasks geared only at rookies would give new players more to do as they join the league. Automatic updates like they have over in EFL would be huge, as updating through threads honestly is a chore at best, and it is very difficult to get the scale and the posts right. If you had a portal, where you could claim TPE with the click of a button, it would be a lot less daunting to join, and help more people get down to actually growing their player and enjoying the league. I know I would be more active for sure if ISFL had a portal, and I'm sure others who've been in leagues with portals feel the same. Plus, I'm sure it would make life easier for the updaters, eliminate any chance for cheating or mistakes, and make auditing a lot more streamlined. Really, it's a win-win for everyone to automate the updating process, and it would be one of the best ways to boost engagement and retention in my eyes.

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19) Your player or team made big headlines in the news this week. What did they do, and why did it garner so much attention?

You probably guessed it, but Thomas Passmann is as much a troublemaker in old age as in his wild, youthful day. This time, he has crossed the law by making a pyramid scheme, where his vague marketing was "Invest in the Outlaws, get your money paid back double in a year." Initial investors made back their money and got some profit, and nobody thought a professional athlete would be scamming people, they probably just wanted a quick infusion of cash to pay contracts right? But now the SEC is looking into Passmann's latest venture for fraud, and the media is having a field day with this revelation. The Outlaws claim they had absolutely no knowledge about Passmann taking investors money under the guise of being a franchise venture, and that he was acting alone. They have condemned his efforts to defraud their fans and say his position on the team is under thorough review, though they might be stuck since who the heck will take him in a trade? They've already ridden out the Passmann chaos train this long anyways, his career will be up soon. Passmann won't comment, but it is just another controversy that he is mired in; controversy has dogged him throughout his career, ever since the FBI accused him of multiple counts of murder. Will he finally get put behind bars? After all the charges he has escaped so far, we are betting against it.

[Briedaqueduc]

SHL Affiliate Task

[UltimateYeehaw]

19) Chunt The Badger has been a ferocious yet majestic beast taking the league by storm since his debut within January. He has coveted the hearts of many and is adored by all. His stripes and soft, silky smooth fur only add to the beautiful personality he covets. However, he is not known for just being the sexiest creature in league, but also being the league’s ambassador for anal lube. Chunt, being the only creature in the league to be living with two buttholes, is the best fit for this type of deal. Yet, he seems to be underfire for some previously made statements about none other than the user iStegosauruz, more commonly known as Steg. Steg has filed harassment charges against Chunt, along with a restraining order. This news has yet to break the league so consider this the first report. Steg’s stance on Chunt is not highly favored however, with other users questioning why and how a Badger could be so malicious as Steg has claimed. This news only has worsened considering the recent pregnancy of Steg by his long time friend Gucci, only complicating the matter. In the words of Steg, “I don’t want that Badger getting their greasy paws on my love child.” Chunt has yet to release a public statement and is rumored to be heartbroken. DM me for more info.

21) Throughout watching this season of the International Simulation Football League’s games, the best branding has to go to the New York Silverbacks. Their design is a cool 1920’s inspired logo that features their coveted Silverback that I will be referring to as a gorilla for the rest of this question. The gorilla ties in perfectly to the iconic King Kong scene where Kong climbs up the Empire State building. Their colors are vibrant and pair beautifully together on the field creating a great experience for viewers at home, not having to deal with eye strain when it comes to the contrast of the players, or dotts, during the game. This design and branding has me screaming about the beauty that is the Great Gatsby and has me roaring to want to see another game of theirs.
The team that could use a refresh when it comes to their branding is within the DSFL, and that team is unfortunately the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Really, I love their branding but the colors of their field are almost nauseating. I get eye strain having to look at it and am reaching for my blue light blocking glasses throughout the games. Maybe I’m just a hater but I am not a fan of yellow in general. Further, their name allows for too many easily made insults from teams that are worse than them to feel better about themselves. Converting back to Myrtle Beach might be the best thing for this team. However, if anyone is ever looking to drink rum, BBB don’t hesitate to call me.

22) Restraining orders have not been hyped up enough within the league as well as the general world. Nothing is better than a court slapping you in the face by stating you cannot see someone to do your constant stalking of them. It is with that being said, Chunt The Badger has filed a restraining order against iStegosauruz. This is a counter restraining order, in response to Steg’s own. Chunt, to go one step further as he always does, has become the new face of the ISFL Legal Defense Team’s Restraining Order Fast Tracker. Do you have someone in the league that has been causing you immense distress and has hurtled heavy insults? Has head office been too busy to fully solve your issue? File a restraining order! If you’re having any issues, contact Chunt The Badger to be set up with a consultation today with the finest of lawyers to represent and settle any dispute between users. No complaint is too silly to be addressed. The Legal Defense Team is prepared to take on any case, no matter how daunting it is, in the name of justice and for Chunt to be payed extra because he is a poor poor badger that needs the money.

29) If any of you have taken the time to so graciously glanced upon the upmost important media the adored Chunt The Badger has put out throughout the season, including his media released before he was drafted, you would have noticed his pleas to head office about awards. He claims that the league is speciest when it comes to its grammar and phrasing of awards, ultimately creating an unhealthy dynamic when it comes down to human versus nonhuman players. He has proposed the award of “Most Sexiest Badger,” incorrect grammar and all, in order to make up for his discounting of awards. However, the league can go so much farther than what Chunt has proposed. The league needs to adopt new language and awards that include the taxing of players that are not human and cannot compete with their bipedal and hulk like counterparts. Nonhuman players deserve a whole award show within their own right, dedicated to recognizing their ambitious talents and where no animal ranks higher than the other. The awards show shall be called the “International Simulation Football League’s Annual Recognition Award Show and How We Can Be Better Allies” to offer repayment and appreciation for the sacrifices these tiny animals such as Chunt The Badger and Busch Goose go through, being pummeled by beings that are four times the size of them.

[Dagumpa]

PBE PT

15) So usually for a task like this, I'll write about the PBE. It's where I cut my teeth in sim leagues and it's still my home base as far as sim leagues go. I say I'm in 3 other sim leagues but really I'm 85% in the PBE and 5% in each of those other leagues. The ISFL is a league I've tried to get into. Not that I don't like it, it's just not the sim league mecca for me. Still looking for a job here and am willing to take any offers. I did consider being a GM a while back but that's because I was a PBE minors co which is about the same as being nothing at all. But I digress. I'm not gonna talk about the PBE. I've talked about it to death and back and I feel like it's about time I give due to the other league I'm in. I rarely, if ever, talk about this league to other people. It's kinda like that burnt-out cousin that family friends will ask about and you have to dance around their question because you don't want to bring up the fact that he works part-time at 7/11 and sold the chair leather in his dad's car for a bag of weed and watches Dirty Dancing nonstop in his parent's attic. But I'm finally breaking my silence: let me talk about the SBA. 

The SBA was the 2nd league I ever joined. I'm a big basketball fan and I saw that it was an affiliate with the PBE. So I said what the heck and decided to join another sim league with no prior knowledge of it and no recommendations or referrals from any of my PBE buds. When you join the league there, you actually get to choose which minors (or SBDL, as it's called) team you want to join. I joined the first team that reached out to me: the Jurupa Valley Jackals. The earning system there definitely caught me up. You see, most sim leagues have either based their earning and TPE systems off of the SHL or the VHL. PBE and ISFL is SHL based. SBA was VHL based. So I didn't realize that there was a TPE limit and that I needed a league job in order to max earn. It took me a while but after a few months I began max earning and I was on my way to a solid career. Well, I thought that at least. Then the Jackals lost in the playoffs. And I had crossed the SBDL TPE cap and had to be drafted. I went 10th in the draft, which is still the highest I have ever been drafted in any league. 

There I joined the St. Louis Battalion, coached by one of my Nashville Stars teammates Baelor. It was a fun time there...until he traded me. So within about 4 months I had finally learned how to earn in the SBA, had to be called up from a team that I loved, and got traded. It was...something. Anyway, I've stuck with the team I got traded to and I'm just chilling as of right now. The SBA is a weird league to get used to. And there are plenty of offputting users. But, I have found some great users in my time there. Shoutout to ngine4 and Shaka. Neither of them will ever see this but I love them both. 

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21) Now when it comes to branding, I consider myself one of the experts. Not because I've ever made branding myself or made a sig or made a graphic, for that matter. But, I've seen my fair share of branding during my 13+ months of experience in simulation leagues. And with my ISFL birthday just around the corner (March 17th), why don't I look at some ISFL branding and give some hot takes? Now, in order to work out way to the top, we have to start with the bottom. The Second Line's logo is a bunch of humans partying. Now unless that human is Danny DeVito, I'm not a huge fan of humans in logos. The Butchers' logo is a big knife. Not sure what to make of it. The Hawks logo is a bird looking Eastward. Not bad but not even the best bird logo. The Wraiths? Too scary. The Yeti? Not scary enough. The Hahalua? Don't even know what that is. Now let's talk about the big hitters. The Copperheads have great coloring, great detail, and a big ole snake. You can never go wrong with one of those. The Silverbacks have a big gorilla. You can never have too many of those. But the best logo...undoubtedly...belongs to the Minnesota Grey Ducks! It's a duck, it's grey: what else do you want? Go Ducks.

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[ajtigger]

10.

Season 27 was a year filled of ups and downs for the San Jose Sabercats. The team started off strong with back to back wins over the Arizona outlaws and the Baltimore Hawks. The wins were both decided by one score and showed that the cats could be trusted in the clutch. The next week against New Orleans however, everything came crashing down on the team. The Secondline brutalized the Sabercats beating them by 32 points in San Jose. The let down of that game carried on to the next with the Sabercats dropping a game to Honolulu in which their offense could not get started. After some locker room turmoil, the team regrouped and prepared for their week 5 match up against New York. The Cats were ready and pounced on the Silverbacks early in route to a nineteen to nothing victory. It was an utterly dominate performance by the defense and gave the team hope the bad times were behind them.  The Cats would go on to win their next three games including a blow out victory over Austin, and two nail bitters against the Otters and the Butchers. At the halfway point of the season. the Cats were sitting pretty at six and two.

The second half of the season was not as kind to the Sabercats. They were only able to find two additional wins to limp to an eight and eight record on the season. The biggest disappointment of the season came in week fourteen against the YellowKnife Wraiths. A late missed field goal to win the game was the first gut punch, but a quick 20 yard pass followed by an absolute bomb of a 63 yard field goal put the nail in the coffin for the Cats and I think cost everyone on the team one of their nine lives. Thankfully, the Cats at least ended the season on a strong note with a 22 - 10 victory over New York. The win gives them confidence heading into next season.

The goal for the Cats is simple, get back to the playoffs. It has been two years now since the team has made it and the fans and players are beginning to question what is wrong. The team seems to be solidly constructed with talent at almost every position. In particular their offense next year should be formidable with a max QB, Max WR and a top tier running back as well. The defense as always should be solid and help hold opponents to manageable point totals. Next year should be the year the Cats break this mini draught they find themselves in.


14.

I think the one team I have to talk about this season is none other than the Honolulu Hahalua. Very few teams in ISFL history have seen a turnaround in just one season like this team. Last year, they were quite simply the joke of the league, finishing a league worst three and thirteen on the season. However season twenty seven saw all of their fortunes change. The Hahalua wound up with an astounding eleven wins this season and even picked up a tie in the final week for good measure. This was a top three record in the league and a far cry from their season twenty six performance.

After losing week one in heart breaking fashion to the Philadelphia Liberty, the Hahalua fans thought for sure it was going to be the same old team they had watched for years. However, an instant three game win streak vaulted the Hahalua to the top of their conference and matched their win total from a season ago. One fan was quoted as saying just one more win and this season is a success compared to last year. The Hahalua didn't just manage one win however, in fact by the midpoint of the season the team found themselves at six and two and in a tie for the conference lead. Fans and the media were in awe of this excellent performance, but ownership, coaching staff and the players knew this is what they were truly capable of as team. Confidence was high in Honolulu.

The second half of the season was much of the same for the team. They continued to win games while others in their division fell off the map, looking at you San Jose. The one big win that really made fans feel this team was different was the overtime thriller against San Jose. Late in the game trailing by three the Honolulu defense was able to force a fumble in the red zone from Monty Jack. The offense took it as a message and drove down the field to kick the tying field goal and send the game into over time. From there, the team seemed unstoppable. The defense shut down the Sabercat offense and the Hahalua then went right in for the game winning touchdown. Fans knew at this point the team could do it all.

Unfortunatley, the team lost in the first round of the playoffs, but none the less they have built something for the future. The team is ready to run it back in season 28.

[Pat]

UW Pass (do I even need to post this?)

[EricNCSU]

22) Your player has been paid to endorse a product/service. What is it? How do you endorse it?

Sam Squanch has struck up an endorsement deal with Great Divide Brewing Company out of Denver Colorado.  A rugged, mysterious player from the Eastern Canadian woods seemed like the ideal spokesperson for their Yeti stout and it's many seasonal variants.  The endorsement deal includes TV and print ads of interesting outdoor locations and the new tagline "You never know where you'll find a Yeti."  Backing up the outdoor theming, 10% of the proceeds of each case of Yeti stout will be donated to US and Canadian National Parks to make sure that all the places you could find a Yeti stay clean and accessible to all. To wrap up the campaign, there will be a "Golden Label" contest. One lucky Yeti fan will get to hang out with Sam Squanch during the upcoming DSFL Draft weekend.  The all expenses paid trip includes a 3 night stay, a ticket to the exclusive Great Divide Draft Afterparty and a bevy of autographed memorabilia from Sam Squanch. Also, since Sam doesn't really need money at the moment he has pledged to donate all of the endorsement money he receives to the Colorado Food Bank Network to help out those in need. No one should go hungry. (203 words) 

7) This task is exclusive to non-recreate rookies of the S28 class and later. In 400 words or more, how has your experience been in the league? Who have you met that has made your time here more fun, friendly, and exciting? Have you been satisfied with your player’s early start? What was it like being drafted for the first time? Do you have any comments or suggestions for the entire league that you think should be implemented?

My experience with the league so far has been fantastic.  The users are all very friendly and helpful.  Even as a prospect I've already been invited to three locker-rooms, so that's a unique experience.  Also, starting out with a rookie task that awards TPE and money is pretty unique, compared to the SHL which is the other sim league I am in. It makes it seem like a little easier to get up and going in this league.  I haven't been drafted yet, so we'll have to wait and see how that goes, although I am excited for the draft.  Teams have started talking to me and doing some scouting.  I am happy with my players start so far.  I got picked up on waivers by the Dallas Birddogs and they were able to put me on the field right away.  I managed 5 tackles in my first game, and 6 tackles and a pass defense in my second game.  Of course winning and Ultimini Championship before I've even been drafted is a hell of a way to start a career, although I will take very little credit for that.  Obviously Dallas already had a strong team before I joined them.  I'm assuming I got less playing time in the playoffs, which is understandable, since I only managed 3 tackles in the conference championship game and only 1 tackle in the Ultimini. I don't really have any suggestions for the league since everything seems pretty straight forward.  Coming over from the SHL it's pretty easy to figure out, a lot of the PTs and TPE opportunities are very similar. The banking system is a little weird compared to SHL but it's not too bad.  One thing I would saw is I noticed a lot of older information in the rookie guide and some broken links to things like the rulebook.  That could certainly trip up someone who didn't have much experience on sim leagues before.  I was able to find things by searching through the forums, but I remember being really confused and overwhelmed at first in the SHL, couldn't even find my own update page and things of that nature. I'm looking forward to getting drafted and "starting" out in the DSFL with my player. There's a lot of ISFL folks now in the SHL, so I see a lot of familiar faces in all the discord channels and so that certainly helps make it more fun. (408 words)

24) Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a superstar of the league. Graphics only.

[gbfn]

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6) Write 800 words or more on something about anything in the league that interests you. It could be related to statistics, a league issue that you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 800 words about your team’s participation on a Werewolf server or something.

I want to write a bit about my experience in my time being with the Honolulu Hahalua. When i created my player Heinrich Kackpoo, i was determined to produce the best bit of player i could possibly do. That means going max earning and collect every bit of TPE possible. At the start of his carreer this was going nicely. I was earning at a fast rate and had, at the time of the draft a staggering 289 TPE. At that time this amount was among the highest at the time of the ISFL draft. I thought i had a pretty good chance at going 1OA, especially as i knew that at the time the yeti had a spot open at LB. Little did i know, i solely concentrated on earning and was not really contributing in any way in the locker room. As it turned out the teams around the ISFL also look at how active you are in the LR, so Heinrich fell to be picked with the third pick. I still was very excited that my player was selected this early.
The first 2-3 season were.... mixed, i guess that is the right way to put it. Although we were not having what you would call a bad season. We were still not able to get into the playoffs. But that was not the main reason i felt that there was a piece or two missing. We didn't have what you would call a vibing and buzzing locker room. There simply wasn't much going on. I mean the GMs were really trying hard to keep convos going and put a lot of effort into creating an interesting and fun environment but there were simply too much IA players on the team. I thought about requesting a trade. Interestingly, everytime i thought i was ready to move on, there was something happening, where i thought to myself: No, i really want to see how this or that works out and so i stayed.
Eventually this season the locker room started to take off. There were a few aspects to this. First and foremost we got ourselves a designated hype man for gamedays. It sometimes leaves me a bit headscratching but hey, i appreciate the effort and getting all hyped up on gamedays. It was a fun experience and i mean that is everything that i want to get from this league. Enjoying my time around here, getting to know the people who dedicate large portions of their time into this experience.
Also i think that in the last few drafts we really hit a few homerun picks. Just to name a few here, but numbers was a great addition. He is incredibly active, joined our war room day one, helped with sim testing and is an overal very enjoyable guy. He contributed massively to lift the discord experience for everyone. Gumba an  Orbiting Death also boosted the conversations greatly. This season i really started to feel more and more confident, that the choice to stay here was the right one. That doesn't mean that i am solely after individual awards for Heinrich Kackpoo or that i just want to win as many titles as i possibly can. My goals were shifted greatly. Now i really just want to enjoy the discussions and conversations. I want to see us making improvements from season to season, and maybe one time be able to land big free agents around the league. This was a bit of a problem in the last seasons but if we manage to keep our activity at the rate it now is, i am sure that there will be people that will choose to join Honolulu with its unique LR experience.

This season was a bit of light and shadow. Of course our regular season was outstanding, we really took off and i am hoping that we will be able to somewhat sustain the success we had in this year. To be honest i am a bit doubtful, that our next season will be as good, as our top WR is regressing again and we have a bit of a hole there for next season. Additionally the human OL will get a boost, so we won't be able to sustain the level of performance on our OL. We definitely have to address that in future drafts. Also this season was a bit of a unique one with the sim change and some teams needed a bit more time than others to get their strats together, so it will definitely be more competitive next season. That being said, i think that we definitly have a good chance to make the playoffs again. We have really good players still sitting in the DSFL. We'll see who will be called up next season. All in all i think the teams i set up for future success, and if we can hit on our picks again as we did in the last 2-3 drafts the team is only going to be stronger and stronger.

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