Orange County Otters

[Memento Mori]

$1m walking stick in preparation for Booker regressing

You find all the walking sticks at the local shop were sold out due to the massive amount of S22 players about to regress. However you order a solid gold one from online using the $1m. It's actually too heavy for your old man back to use and so won't stop the regression unfortunately. It helps for strength training at home though, about 5 TPE worth.
PROCESSED

[ReverendOReily]

$1m training to siphon the life force of younger players for the use of me/my teammates

You spend a million on trying to learn the dark arts but sadly there has been a lot of research into this from TH before and it hasnt worked. Spending time trying to siphon off their energy does teach you a little about how the younger players train though, 5 TPE.
PROCESSED

[Blasoon]

$1M to make Brandon Booker do Ramza's regression instead.

Life hack, if you just don't do your regression your GMs have to do it for you. This learning provides you 5 TPE of knowledge.
PROCESSED

[Lime]

one million dollars deducted from my bank account for the international simulation football league weekly training worth 5 total points earned

thank you,
lime

One million dollars have been deducted and in return you are given 5 of the training-est points that could be earned.
Thank you and have a nice day,
PMoney
PROCESSED

[Beaver]

1m

PROCESSED

[Seymour]

1m for a time share in Antarctica

You buy a time share in Antarctica but as no one really wants to holiday in Antarctica you have the time share all of the time. While there you meet Colorado Penguins Adélie de Pengu and Emperor de Pengu who you train with for 5 TPE.
PROCESSED

[Eldorian]

1M for teleportation device to allow the goats and the tanks across the country to meet up together instantly

Your goats and tanks rejoice as they can now meet up in person rather than over Zoom. They are so ecstatic they attempt to start the Goat Tank creation in a manner inapproprate for description on a PG 13 site but they can't quite get the logistics down yet. They teach you may things about flexibility though which amounts to about 5 TPE.
PROCESSED

[scorycory]

1 million dollars to find the dragon balls so I can wish for a redo of my career

You search far and wide for the dragon balls but to no avail. However on returning home dejected you are suddenly enlightened with the ultimate truth. The ability to redo your career was inside you the whole time! Well not inside you, more inside the create a new player forum but the jist of it is the same. This enlightenment is worth 5 TPE to you.
PROCESSED

[Memento Mori]

$1m to make Suleiman Ramza do Booker's regression instead.

Life hack, if you just don't do your regression your GMs have to do it for you. This learning provides you 5 TPE of knowledge.
PROCESSED

[shrub02]

$1M for bail after being arrested for burglary

It's not looking good for you, the 1m burglary kit should have made you uncatchable but now it's just evidence against you. They begrudingingly release you after you post bail but you do learn more about life from your time on the inside. Holding onto the soap makes you better at holding onto the football, about 5 TPE better.
PROCESSED