The only frustrations I've experienced in my first season with the New Orleans Second Line are ones of the sexual variety. You're probably thinking "Jeeze, Poopyface. Too much information". Normally I wouldn't blame you, but I am about to drop an earth shattering piece of news that will make you forget all about that. Before I say anything I should note that I am revealing top secret stuff here and if I go missing then the first person you should question is none other than New Orleans Second Line general manager Borkus Maximus III. As part of our rookie hazing our GM decided it would be funny to force us to wear chastity belts while away from the team. It has made my first season hear nothing short of hell. I am a rich professional athlete in a major city and this motherfucker wants to prevent me from getting any action? I knew Borkus had an unusual sense of humor but this is just sick and twisted. To make matters worse, I actually accidentally subjected myself to this fate because I didn't read the fine print on my contract stating that I sign over all rights to my body and personal well-being to Borkus Maximus III as part of my contractual obligation to the New Orleans Second Line. My only hope is that someone from the NSFLPA can step in and champion my cause as I seek to awaken from this dreadful nightmare.
243 words
243 words
![[Image: rq0K779.png]](https://i.imgur.com/rq0K779.png)