Hate the player or the game:
You want a team that deserved the playoffs over someone else? How about the Norfolk Seawolves over the Portland Pythons. Norfolk is a feisty team, who finished the season with two wins, they've got a half decent QB and no serious glaring weaknesses. Oh yeah, and they're not the Portland fucking Pythons who were undefeated at home and on a three game winning streak, with home field locked up for the playoffs, when they decide to take off the first game of the playoffs and take their first home loss. It's not even that Norfolk was a particularly great or even good team. It's that Portland showed so little goddamn heart and came in like they'd already won. What kind if first ranked scoring defense and second ranked scoring offense does that? At least Norfolk would've looked like they appreciate the opportunity. They would've had Palmer out there smiling for all the cameras and taking interviews and they would have been nice and grateful for the opportunity. Portland decided they'd already won the championship on paper, why bother on turf? We're still giving trophies for paper wins, right? Oh, no, we're not? Well, look at that. What a fucking surprise.
Yes, I'm bitter.
Series MVP:
Kansas City Coyotes vs Portland Pythons: Mark Strike
I know it's becoming cliché to name a QB as MVP, but there's a reason it keeps happening: football teams live and die by their quarterback. The Kansas City- Portland game was no aberration. Portland lost, look at their quarterback’s day: one touchdown, three interceptions. Now, look at Strike's game winning performance: two touchdowns in the air and one on the ground. Don't let his 73.4 passer rating deceive you, that stat has always been unfair to passers who score on the ground.
I don't know what the media was thinking naming Gore offensive player of the game. He didn't get it done where it counts: the end zone. Give me points. You don't win without points and Strike got the points Kansas City needed to win. Rainey had a good performance too, and there's no doubt a running game helps the pass, but he wasn't the guy finishing the job. Miller had an impressive receiving game, but too much of it came on one 40 yard scoring pass. More importantly, a receiver can't get it done without a quarterback. Strike have Miller the quarterback he needed to succeed. Quarterback is king, and long live king Mark Strike.
Going to Disney Land:
I don't think it would surprise anyone if I told you Mike Boss was my Ultimus MVP this year. So, I will: Mike Boss is my Ultimus MVP this year. He may have given up two picks, but his two touchdowns and sheer volume of yardage make up for it.
What does a guy like Mike Boss do at Disney Land? He starts with Mr Toad's Wild Ride. Mike goes straight to it, because that crazy car riding is the closest thing to being a ball carrier in the whole park, and the off-season is long and boring, so he needs to feel like he's on a football field.
Next, Boss hits up the haunted mansion. After fearlessly slinging the ball 53 times in the big game, he needs to see if anything can even scare him anymore. Spoiler alert, it can't, he's got nerves of steel.
Next, Boss uses quarterback privilege to cut the line and ride Splash Mountain ten times in a row. Each time he makes a different funny face, buys the picture, signs it and gives it to the kid next to him. He's just a cool guy like that. This game changed his life, he's gonna change theirs.
Unsung hero:
Let's talk a little about big guys. No, not the Big Bopper. Not Tom Hanks in Big. The big guys, the San Antonio Marshalls' offensive linemen. These hungry hungry hippos may have allowed five sacks in two games, but it's so easy to forgive when you see the thing of beauty that was San Antonio’s run game. Sweet lord, Bush put up over a hundred yards in each game! The team itself totaled over two hundred rushing yards per game, including over 270 in the finals. That's an absurd ground game. That's a decent day throwing the ball, let alone running it.
It's one of football's most beaten drums, but an effective ground game does so much. It limits the opportunity for mistakes and turnovers. It limits opposing time of possession. Most importantly, it exhausts the defense to get run all over. People like to credit flashy running backs, but those guys aren't getting it done unless the big boys up front are coming out to play. I think the ability of both Vick and Nyquist to lug the rock effectively, as well, proves that the linemen were the real secret behindthe Marshalls’ ground game success. They should take that big guys out to dinner, make sure they stay nice and big.
You want a team that deserved the playoffs over someone else? How about the Norfolk Seawolves over the Portland Pythons. Norfolk is a feisty team, who finished the season with two wins, they've got a half decent QB and no serious glaring weaknesses. Oh yeah, and they're not the Portland fucking Pythons who were undefeated at home and on a three game winning streak, with home field locked up for the playoffs, when they decide to take off the first game of the playoffs and take their first home loss. It's not even that Norfolk was a particularly great or even good team. It's that Portland showed so little goddamn heart and came in like they'd already won. What kind if first ranked scoring defense and second ranked scoring offense does that? At least Norfolk would've looked like they appreciate the opportunity. They would've had Palmer out there smiling for all the cameras and taking interviews and they would have been nice and grateful for the opportunity. Portland decided they'd already won the championship on paper, why bother on turf? We're still giving trophies for paper wins, right? Oh, no, we're not? Well, look at that. What a fucking surprise.
Yes, I'm bitter.
Series MVP:
Kansas City Coyotes vs Portland Pythons: Mark Strike
I know it's becoming cliché to name a QB as MVP, but there's a reason it keeps happening: football teams live and die by their quarterback. The Kansas City- Portland game was no aberration. Portland lost, look at their quarterback’s day: one touchdown, three interceptions. Now, look at Strike's game winning performance: two touchdowns in the air and one on the ground. Don't let his 73.4 passer rating deceive you, that stat has always been unfair to passers who score on the ground.
I don't know what the media was thinking naming Gore offensive player of the game. He didn't get it done where it counts: the end zone. Give me points. You don't win without points and Strike got the points Kansas City needed to win. Rainey had a good performance too, and there's no doubt a running game helps the pass, but he wasn't the guy finishing the job. Miller had an impressive receiving game, but too much of it came on one 40 yard scoring pass. More importantly, a receiver can't get it done without a quarterback. Strike have Miller the quarterback he needed to succeed. Quarterback is king, and long live king Mark Strike.
Going to Disney Land:
I don't think it would surprise anyone if I told you Mike Boss was my Ultimus MVP this year. So, I will: Mike Boss is my Ultimus MVP this year. He may have given up two picks, but his two touchdowns and sheer volume of yardage make up for it.
What does a guy like Mike Boss do at Disney Land? He starts with Mr Toad's Wild Ride. Mike goes straight to it, because that crazy car riding is the closest thing to being a ball carrier in the whole park, and the off-season is long and boring, so he needs to feel like he's on a football field.
Next, Boss hits up the haunted mansion. After fearlessly slinging the ball 53 times in the big game, he needs to see if anything can even scare him anymore. Spoiler alert, it can't, he's got nerves of steel.
Next, Boss uses quarterback privilege to cut the line and ride Splash Mountain ten times in a row. Each time he makes a different funny face, buys the picture, signs it and gives it to the kid next to him. He's just a cool guy like that. This game changed his life, he's gonna change theirs.
Unsung hero:
Let's talk a little about big guys. No, not the Big Bopper. Not Tom Hanks in Big. The big guys, the San Antonio Marshalls' offensive linemen. These hungry hungry hippos may have allowed five sacks in two games, but it's so easy to forgive when you see the thing of beauty that was San Antonio’s run game. Sweet lord, Bush put up over a hundred yards in each game! The team itself totaled over two hundred rushing yards per game, including over 270 in the finals. That's an absurd ground game. That's a decent day throwing the ball, let alone running it.
It's one of football's most beaten drums, but an effective ground game does so much. It limits the opportunity for mistakes and turnovers. It limits opposing time of possession. Most importantly, it exhausts the defense to get run all over. People like to credit flashy running backs, but those guys aren't getting it done unless the big boys up front are coming out to play. I think the ability of both Vick and Nyquist to lug the rock effectively, as well, proves that the linemen were the real secret behindthe Marshalls’ ground game success. They should take that big guys out to dinner, make sure they stay nice and big.
![[Image: TRwiHZ1.png]](https://i.imgur.com/TRwiHZ1.png)
