05-24-2017, 06:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-24-2017, 07:03 PM by HazardouSpork.)
Rolf Larsendorf is a hero in his hometown of Lake Michigan at-large. Having spent all but the first thirty-seven minutes of his life on land, one would think Larsendorf had adjusted to living as an earth-bound human. One would be wrong. Not only does Rolf Larsendorf spend hours a day dropping out of medium-height trees, making splashing sounds as appropriate; but associates whisper of his inability to look his neighbors in the eye. Is he an antisocial thrill seeker? Or did he lose his equilibrium at sea, cursed with vertigo when focused on spheres, only feeling connected to the world through the act of falling? Only the drafting team's doctor, and his teammates, and fans, and really anyone else connected to him will be able to unravel that clue. But for now, Rolf's reclusiveness remains a mystery. Some analysts think that his stock will sink over his silence, afraid the secrets could come out and serve as a distraction.
While there are no stats available from his time in college, Larsendorf ensures that "UW Leipzig... holy cow! That's a real place I played football at. Eh? I love Australia."
In spite of the numerous red flags, and substantiative lack of documentation, journalists are hyping him as "one of the tight ends in this class of prospects." Rolf Larsendorf will have to take the opportunity to invent himself seriously if he wants to have a successful career in this league.
While there are no stats available from his time in college, Larsendorf ensures that "UW Leipzig... holy cow! That's a real place I played football at. Eh? I love Australia."
In spite of the numerous red flags, and substantiative lack of documentation, journalists are hyping him as "one of the tight ends in this class of prospects." Rolf Larsendorf will have to take the opportunity to invent himself seriously if he wants to have a successful career in this league.
