(S8) - PT 4 - Rivalry

[pazuzu]

Ah a good ole fashioned rivalry Kif! I love it, two grown men, or women, wrestling out their differences. It is a beautiful display. Well I consider everyone my rival, especially those filthy neutrals, they sicken me. Anyone who is not handing me or throwing the ball to moi… However, it has come to my attention that another soldier in the ranks has called us out. It seems as though @OBESE Declan Harp, another trying to claim my title as the tightest end, and myself have a FRIENDLY rivalry for this season in the DSFL. Well this time, I have come prepared… Psst Kif, that was the que, just give me all your papers. Okay well where to start after many hours scouring the internet and bookies, I, Zapp Brannigan have found the officially statistic for myself and Declan for this current season. Drum roll please….. Well even though Harp may have more receptions, yards, and Average reception and longest reception than me. There are two stats that I am beating lover boy Harp in. First, seems to be that I have 1 Touchdown while poor Harp does not have a single one. Also, it seems that I have made love to more beautiful ladies…. And Men? Than Harp… Are you sure this is right Kif, I don’t remember any man… Oh yeah that’s right. What happens in Yellowknife stays in Yellowknife. I’m on to you Harp, like flies on a sexy pile of manure. End transmission.
(247 w)