*Dingus Hunk - Presser

[nunccoepi]

Hi, I’m Dorris Pringle-Hunk. I’m the mom of Dingus Hunk. He’s kind of shy so I’m helping him with his first job interview.

Dingus: Mom, I said I could do this. GARSH!

Dorris: Hush now.
Dingus is real good at football. When he was a boy he wuz so strong, always whippin the other kids in the neighborhood when they played together.

Dingus: I’m good at wrestling!

Dorris: Dingus, don’t put your mouth on the microphone when you talk.

He can run real fast for a boy his size. Even when he wuz little he wuz a fast boy and never stopped movin. I had to poison his food just slow him down.

Dingus: (blank stare)

Dorris: He played football at Troy University. My baby went to college! Tell them what you studied Dingus.

Dingus: I studied space in school. When I was little, I alrays wondered what all those stars really are. Is it just a curtain with a bunch of holes cut out? When I make lots of money praying footbawl I plan to buy me a moon rocket. I'll go visit all those suns and stars and planets and rocks and suns and planets, then I'll come back and tell everybody what space really is.

Dorris: That’s right baby. You chase those dreams.

Dingus doesn’t do drugs. He listens to his coaches. I don’t let him date yet so you don’t have to worry about him staying up all night with some floozy. I make sure he keeps all that man energy boiling inside so he can hit harder.

Dingus: One time at Troy I knocked out 3 guys in one practice and the coaches yelled “Get off the soccer field!”

Dorris: I’ll close by saying my boy is a brick wall. If you tell him don’t let anybody past you then that’s what he will do. You won’t regret drafting him. 
Now, anybody have any questions for Dingus?


(Sign) I'm a little bit scared of puppets. Puppets are little people that can talk.....and they are not nice.


That's the building blocks for a shooshi sandwich. I love guacamole.


I love to gramble. The best machine is the one you give a dollar and it gives 4 coins.  You win every time. Jrackpot!


I would choose a jretpack, cause then you get all the good girls. You could just fly to them.....if you have enough fuel.

BeyondBeyonder, is this presser done? I just want to make sure before I grade it.