TPE Tracker Copypastas

[ValorX77]

Guys I really wanted to believe that NSFL was not the cesspool of morons all my fellow Leaf fans told me it would be. Unfortunately your sack totals, which I purposely made as easy as humanly possible, tanked harder than a Kardashian marriage. I personally apologise for expecting the bare minimum from you as players. If you look at your stat sheet you will notice that you all have gotten a 50 sack bump as 'extra credit' and no this was not because any of you deserved it but it was infact so I don't get my ass fired when the Commissioner asks me 'hey why the fuck did 50% of your draft class fail an introductory tackling class' to whom I will reply 'hmm I don't know maybe its because these klingons are 18 years old and still giggle every time I say the term 'contact'. I'd like to add that in fact one of you got a 5/100 on this stat sheet for which I salute you. Considering this was 100% bot OLs and the statistical probability of you missing more than 90% WALKING is actually higher than your chances of getting laid, which for this player would be an act of God (please stay out of the gene pool you know who you are). I could have actually taken a shit on the scoreboard, wiped it off on the grass, and I am pretty certain my feces could have picked up more QB pressures than you deliberately tried for. So congratulations, on making me lose faith in the DSFL system, and in humanity.