*Why Everyone Needs Offensive Lineman

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6. We eat a shit load of cereal
        Last but certainly not least, let's talk about cereal. This may vary from guy to guy a little bit, but every offensive line I've been on has been a cereal eating bunch. You may be asking yourself, "How does this affect me". great question, potential NSFL GM that is intently looking at taking me (or another offensive lineman) in the first round. You see, at breakfast time we don't need much. We can wake up on game day, grab some cereal and milk, and hit the road. We even are capable of just dumping the milk into the cereal box and passing it around on the bus like a bunch of frat kids passing around a bottle of jaeger. We are not going to be like your other players, asking for "gluten free" options or trying to have a custom omelette made, causing everyone on the bus to be late.  Type of cereal doesn't matter, type of milk doesn't matter (as long as it is actually milk, and not some kind of milk juice). We are good to go.

at least you aren't some water-on-cereal monster. +5 spots on the draft board to you good sir