SHL PT Claim
2) Holiday Bowl
Written: This year’s Ultimus lands right in holiday season. What changes are made to this year’s Ultimus game to reflect the time of year?
It is THAT time of year, where the eggnog is flowing, the merry is going and people have all this good cheer. Not in Austin however, as we were robbed this season. Anyway, that is beside the point. What I would change to the Ultimus game to make it more “festive” was make sure it was played outside where it was snowing. Instead of a helicopter fly by to start the game, I’d get someone to make a “santa” sled and have it pulled by fake reindeer to make it seem like santa was flying over the stadium. I would put all the cheerleaders in sexy elf costumes with little hats. Then I would make sure that the refs all wore santa suits. This would be comical and I think the crowd would really enjoy it. Then at half time we would have a “mock” Christmas dinner where there would be a family just yelling at each other. This shows the true colors of the Holidays as everyone is actually miserable. Then during the third quarter it would be dollar beers, til everyone was good and drunk. This way everyone could leave happy no matter who wins on the field. This is a huge win win for everyone and a great way to celebrate the holidays.
4) Resim!
Written: You get to resim one game from this season. Write about why you chose that game and what the results would be.
Can I choose all of them? The sim really bent over Austin this season. We were able to win a few games we shouldn’t and some how made the playoffs, but really this was a disappointing season. It showed the true randomness of the sim and how the league really doesn’t want Austin to be good at all, which is ridiculous. There has been an anti-Austin bias since we were created which is just silly. If I had to choose one game it would have to be week 2’s game against New Orleans Second Line. Austin was winning that game for a long time, but the sim just kept deciding it was not meant to be. We ended up losing in the last minute after a bunch of turnovers and penalties. Also, what is up with the sim and decided Cole needs to throw an interception on his first drive of every game. Is that a thing that is supposed to happen? Oh, or that Tidwell can put up 130 yards in the 1st quarter and then not get targeted the rest of the game. This puts a serious damper on our offense in the 2nd half of games, which we were notoriously bad at. Anyway those are my gripes with the sim this season.
7) Penalty box
Written: Football is now adding a penalty box! Which of your teammates would find themselves in it most often, and for what reasons?
Ah, the old let’s put in elements from a superior sport, because ours sucks and people honestly hate it. Hockey does a lot of things right, because it is a better sport, so it makes sense to want to steal elements from that game. The penalty box brings people great shame and is an institution in the sport. I think if we had a penalty box in football, especially in the Nation Football Simulation League, Dermott Lavelle would spend quite a bit of time in it. Not because he is a dirty player or a bad guy, he is neither, but because he is just too good, they would find reasons to put in there. Plus, he likes to talk a lot and he would definitely go over the line a time or two, but in the best way possible. Besides dermo, I think that we could find Easton Cole somehow ending up there more than he should as a Quarterback. When the sim decides to make him throw an interception, I could see Cole throwing his helmet at a ref and getting sent to the box. We all know who wouldn’t go in the box though and that is the one Mr. Rod Tidwell. You see he has too much Kwan and Respect to be sent in there.
2) Holiday Bowl
Written: This year’s Ultimus lands right in holiday season. What changes are made to this year’s Ultimus game to reflect the time of year?
It is THAT time of year, where the eggnog is flowing, the merry is going and people have all this good cheer. Not in Austin however, as we were robbed this season. Anyway, that is beside the point. What I would change to the Ultimus game to make it more “festive” was make sure it was played outside where it was snowing. Instead of a helicopter fly by to start the game, I’d get someone to make a “santa” sled and have it pulled by fake reindeer to make it seem like santa was flying over the stadium. I would put all the cheerleaders in sexy elf costumes with little hats. Then I would make sure that the refs all wore santa suits. This would be comical and I think the crowd would really enjoy it. Then at half time we would have a “mock” Christmas dinner where there would be a family just yelling at each other. This shows the true colors of the Holidays as everyone is actually miserable. Then during the third quarter it would be dollar beers, til everyone was good and drunk. This way everyone could leave happy no matter who wins on the field. This is a huge win win for everyone and a great way to celebrate the holidays.
4) Resim!
Written: You get to resim one game from this season. Write about why you chose that game and what the results would be.
Can I choose all of them? The sim really bent over Austin this season. We were able to win a few games we shouldn’t and some how made the playoffs, but really this was a disappointing season. It showed the true randomness of the sim and how the league really doesn’t want Austin to be good at all, which is ridiculous. There has been an anti-Austin bias since we were created which is just silly. If I had to choose one game it would have to be week 2’s game against New Orleans Second Line. Austin was winning that game for a long time, but the sim just kept deciding it was not meant to be. We ended up losing in the last minute after a bunch of turnovers and penalties. Also, what is up with the sim and decided Cole needs to throw an interception on his first drive of every game. Is that a thing that is supposed to happen? Oh, or that Tidwell can put up 130 yards in the 1st quarter and then not get targeted the rest of the game. This puts a serious damper on our offense in the 2nd half of games, which we were notoriously bad at. Anyway those are my gripes with the sim this season.
7) Penalty box
Written: Football is now adding a penalty box! Which of your teammates would find themselves in it most often, and for what reasons?
Ah, the old let’s put in elements from a superior sport, because ours sucks and people honestly hate it. Hockey does a lot of things right, because it is a better sport, so it makes sense to want to steal elements from that game. The penalty box brings people great shame and is an institution in the sport. I think if we had a penalty box in football, especially in the Nation Football Simulation League, Dermott Lavelle would spend quite a bit of time in it. Not because he is a dirty player or a bad guy, he is neither, but because he is just too good, they would find reasons to put in there. Plus, he likes to talk a lot and he would definitely go over the line a time or two, but in the best way possible. Besides dermo, I think that we could find Easton Cole somehow ending up there more than he should as a Quarterback. When the sim decides to make him throw an interception, I could see Cole throwing his helmet at a ref and getting sent to the box. We all know who wouldn’t go in the box though and that is the one Mr. Rod Tidwell. You see he has too much Kwan and Respect to be sent in there.
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