Well here in Myrtle Beach we have many fine traditions and trainings that we put our rookies through. And we had so many this year that I wasn't able to spend as much time as I normally would with all of them. So I chose to focus on a few select rooks and I will be specifically focusing on the hazing, I mean training of our own Jeffrey LaVert. First things first, as soon as he gets about the good ship Myrtle Beach we make him walk the plank. We dock the ship and have the plank over a pit of coyotes, pythons, grey ducks and luchadores. He has to be able to prove that he can survive the worst that our enemies throw at him and this is his first test, after he managed to crawl his way out of the pit of death we immediately make Jeffrey drink a handle of rum to himself. Warren Stephens was practically forcing it down Jeffrey's throat and the boy could hardly maintain consciousness when he was done. But there will be no sleep on this day as we will now send him to go practice his pilaging and plundering in the city of Norfolk. Since none of us could really tell what in the name of Davy Jones the Norfolk mascot is, they were not represented in the pit of death and instead we would have Jeffrey attack the city itself. Have you heard the expression paint the town red? Well Jeffrey certainly did this with a mixture of the blood of his enemies and his own vomit as I'm pretty sure he was internally bleeding from a bad case of alcohol poisoning. No rest for the wicked though as we had him move on to our final test after he was done wrecking Norfolk. Finally we had him swab the entire deck in the middle of a storm that we sailed out to find. Oh it was great fun watching the poor lad clean the deck, then vomit all over the deck from a mixture of sea sickness and alcohol posioning, and then have to clean the deck again. Finally he passed out and was heaved overboard into the gale. We took pity on the boy and hauled him in with a fishing net. He was out cold but still breathing so we put him down in a berth belowdeck.
|
Offline  |
|
|
