(S20) - PT3 - Celebrations

[HENDRIX 2.0]

Ultimus champions celebrate in a far less spectacular fashion than NFL champions do. NSFL players are not as fortunate to live the lavish life style of other professional leagues, the money just isn’t there to fly an entire team down to Disney world. For example, look at last season’s Ultimus. The Orange County Otters defeated the Yellowknife Wraiths on the road. After the game the Otters had to hop on their dilapidated orange school bus and drive the 2,700 miles back to Orange County. They damn near had to deplete half of their profits from the game on fuel! Once they got back home the team sleep walked to the nearest strip joint just in time for $1 beer night and get lap dances from some wildebeest. Just because football season ends it doesn’t mean NSFL players could just chill all offseason. Nope. The next day they have to get back to their part time jobs, such as operating the tilt-a-whirl or knives salesman. The average NSFL salary is enough to have a leaky house and beat up old Ford Pinto. For players that want to afford to heat their house in the winter or afford a pizza on Friday night, extra jobs are a necessity. (206 words)