(S20) - Ultimus Week

[TomHanks]

SHL PT

6) Expansion
Written: There have been a lot of new players entering the league recently. If you were in charge of a new expansion team for the NSFL or DSFL, how would you go about it?
As a Canadian-Scottish guy, I want to go international with an expansion team. That said, we have an NSFL team in Canada and a DSFL team in Britain with the expansion of the DSFL to include the London Royals. So, with my expansion team we’re going to one of my favourite places in the world, and creating the Bermuda Onions. Think of the away games for other teams. Why do people like going to the pro bowl? Because they get to go on vacation somewhere like Hawaii. We’ll be replicating that experience for every team in the league every season. With the beautiful sandy beaches and clean ocean air, everyone will feel nice and relaxed at all times, ready to play their best football. You may be asking, Tom, what about hurricanes? Wouldn’t they pose a threat to games every season and to travel plans for the team? To that I say maybe. Plans for a hurricane proof stadium will be in the works. As for fans, people in Bermuda love outdoor sports. While football might not be traditional there, with a team to rally around, people will be on board no problem. As for the branding, that is non-negotiable as the Bermuda onion is traditional to the island and I will not hear another word on the subject.

10) Reform
Written: If you were in charge of managing the league, what changes would you make to make it better run?

We all know what the real problem with the league is. At the end of the day, the issue at the core of everything else is the sim. The sim and its rules which seem to change day by other than “OCO is always good”. If I reformed the league, we’d have a sim that makes sense. No more tackles on the 1-yard line on kick returns, no more delay of game penalties for RBs, no more chop block penalties on a running back on plays where they’re carrying the ball, none of it. Now, this isn’t feasible. There are a lot of different reasons we use DDSPF 16 and I understand that. But I don’t run the league. So, this does not have to be realistic. I want a sim that doesn’t roll a series of dice while drunk someone’s basement to determine what happens on any given play. Upsets are fine, I like upsets. I do not like Darius Rush going Super Saiyan against Tijuana for no foreseeable reason. And that isn’t a one off. Sometimes the things this sim does make absolutely no sense. Sometimes a defender lines up well offside and just stands completely still all play. Don’t even get me, or better yet Infinite, started on kicking and punting. A sim that is more enjoyable to watch would make everyone a little happier.

19) OL or K/P Appreciation
Written: Write about an active human offensive lineman or special teamer that is in the playoffs, and how they will or did affect the outcome.
I love this section of Ultimus week since it lets me give out some fair rubs, and this season I get to talk abou the man himself, Givussafare Rubbe. Rubbe switched positions on the line with fellow lineman Brave Ulysses this offseason, moving from right tackle to left tackle. From that spot all season he was dominant, allowing 0 sacks and having the most pancakes of anyone who didn’t allow a sack this season with 63. And in the first round of the playoffs, he put on an absolute clinic. Not only did he not allow a sack, as a matter of fact OCO was unable to get a sack or a tackle for loss during that game at all, but he put up a staggering 10 pancake blocks during this impressive performance. He lead the way for the running game which put up 167 yards against Orange County, including making enough space for Forrest Gump to put up a very impressive 5.8 yards per carry. The pocket was kept clean for Stan Francisco, who had 44 drop backs despite not taking a single sack. He kept his nose clean as well. Even though he planted defenders on the ground 10 times and certainly riled them up, he never took a penalty. Rubbe is a massive reason why NOLA was able to make it past OCO and prevent them from making the conference championship game for the first time in league history.