If the NSFL cancelled its season I would become depressed. I would become so depressed that I wouldn't be able to play in the DSFL anymore. I'd retire forever and go hiding in an obscure place no one has heard about, kind of like Yellowknife. I'm sure me and my teammates would take our nickname "The fearsome foursome" to heart and start exploring each other. I would be so bored once the NSFL gets cancelled that I would resort to talking with Dermot. Gross, I know. The tough part is that my team, the Portland Pythons, is in Washington. If you haven't been living under a rock, you would know that New York, Washington and California have been the states hit the hardest by the novel virus. Social distancing is overrated anyways. I'm a millennial, so you know my dumb ass is already traveling everywhere, trying to spread the virus. I'm pretty sure I have it already. I also hooked up with this cute player named Net Gaines. I think he has it too now. Anyways now I'm going to every tourist trap I can afford, spreading my germs and buying up toilet paper. I take a lot of shits. I'm basically a show in for defensive back of the year, so that's nice. If they cancelled the DSFL & NSFL, I would for sure win it, so I wouldn't be all that mad.
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