8. Revenge
Those stinky, filthy Coyotes. They think they're so good, with their 9-5 record, but little do they know they suck. I've never liked the Coyotes, they never liked me, and that's ok. I'm doing just fine without them. The 2 teams I dislike the most in the DSFL made the Ultimini, how weird. The Coyotes destroyed us last night in the conference championship. I'm mad. They made our #1 defense look silly. I'm disappointed because we had a legitimate chance to win the game. Penalties screwed our team over. They didn't even win fair and square. They paid off the refs. Nothing you can do about that. We had a huge catch and run for almost 50 yards before our receiver fumbled the ball and it was picked up by those damn Coyotes. I would love to destroy this team next season, if I get sent down. Regardless, I'll still be cheering for the Pythons and hoping for them to destroy the Coyotes twice next season. What would be really funny? KCC doesn't even make the playoffs next year, and the Pythons beat them in the last week to knock them out of playoff contention. That would be awesome. I'll make sure to pay off the refs too.
11. Rivalry
I think every player on a team not named Myrtle Beach Buccaneers hates the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. Their players are even more talkative than me. Just because they have garbage players, so most of them are sent down. That's literally the only reason they do so well. None of their players are skilled enough to play in the NSFL their first year, so it's why they all have to get sent down. It's really unfair that the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers' GMs purposely draft garbage players to get them sent down so they can be good the next year. Every other team isn't that cheap, so they won't resort to these childish tactics. At least we have some shred of decency. Even if MBB won't publicly acknowledge the Pythons as their rivals, I'm sure they don't like us very much. Tell me one player who likes Myrtle Beach, but isn't on their team, and doesn't have a gun pointed to their head. I'm waiting. Exactly. It felt more satisfying beating MBB in the regular season than it would have to won an Ultimini. Even though KCC beat us, I hope KCC goes and beats the shit out of MBB in the Ultimus. The Bucs got embarrassed last year by the Grey Ducks. Hopefully it can happen again. The identity of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers is to just make the Ultimini and then choke. It's going to happen again tomorrow night, mark my words.
18. Awards Season
Raheem Okusi, a Wide Receiver on my team, the Portland Pythons, is a complete beast. He definitely deserves to win wide receiver of the year. He was a key reason we were able to average 150 passing yards per game. He had 894 receiving yards, which leads the league. The 2nd highest person is 63 yards below Okusi. In a run-first league, it's impressive to see a WR put up these kinds of numbers. The receiving yards aren't even the most impressive things about Okusi. Out of WRs with over 100 receiving yards, Okusi has the 2nd highest yards per reception, with a 13.5 average. That's ridiculous, considering how many yards he produced. But wait, that's not even the most impressive thing about his stats this season. He also had 6 TD catches. Boom. Mic drop moment. 6 TDs is good for 2nd place out of all the WRs. Only one person had more TDs, and he only had 7 TDs. Okusi is 1st in receiving yards, T-2nd in touchdown receptions, 2nd in yards per reception for all WRs with over 100 receiving yards. No other player is this consistent in all 3 categories. It would be ridiculous if Raheem Okusi does not win wide receiver of the year. Maybe he should retire to increase his chances of winning.
19. Team Culture
As a member of the Portland Pythons, I think I have the right to say a thing or two about the culture in the locker room. The Pythons' locker room isn't as active as the cesspool that is Myrtle Beach, but it's not bad. There is a unity, a bond that is present within the locker room that you can feel. When it's game time, it's game time and everyone has the same thing on their minds, winning. Everyone wants to win, and it's an amazing sense of community. Everyone is super chill and nice in the locker room. Despite how much of an arrogant asshole I may seem in the public discord and in my media posts, I'm a team player, and I'm a pretty chill and nice guy in my team's locker room. I feel like a lot of my teammates are the same way. We stick up for each other and back each other up. It's fun to be a part of a team. My GMs aren't as active as some other GMs, cough cough frost cough cough, but it's ok. They still put in the time and they care about all of us. AC and Kanako made huge jumps with the team this year, and I'm proud of them. I think they should snag those GMs of the year award easily, due to their turnaround of the team. 2-12 to 8-6? That's an impressive feat.
Those stinky, filthy Coyotes. They think they're so good, with their 9-5 record, but little do they know they suck. I've never liked the Coyotes, they never liked me, and that's ok. I'm doing just fine without them. The 2 teams I dislike the most in the DSFL made the Ultimini, how weird. The Coyotes destroyed us last night in the conference championship. I'm mad. They made our #1 defense look silly. I'm disappointed because we had a legitimate chance to win the game. Penalties screwed our team over. They didn't even win fair and square. They paid off the refs. Nothing you can do about that. We had a huge catch and run for almost 50 yards before our receiver fumbled the ball and it was picked up by those damn Coyotes. I would love to destroy this team next season, if I get sent down. Regardless, I'll still be cheering for the Pythons and hoping for them to destroy the Coyotes twice next season. What would be really funny? KCC doesn't even make the playoffs next year, and the Pythons beat them in the last week to knock them out of playoff contention. That would be awesome. I'll make sure to pay off the refs too.
11. Rivalry
I think every player on a team not named Myrtle Beach Buccaneers hates the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. Their players are even more talkative than me. Just because they have garbage players, so most of them are sent down. That's literally the only reason they do so well. None of their players are skilled enough to play in the NSFL their first year, so it's why they all have to get sent down. It's really unfair that the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers' GMs purposely draft garbage players to get them sent down so they can be good the next year. Every other team isn't that cheap, so they won't resort to these childish tactics. At least we have some shred of decency. Even if MBB won't publicly acknowledge the Pythons as their rivals, I'm sure they don't like us very much. Tell me one player who likes Myrtle Beach, but isn't on their team, and doesn't have a gun pointed to their head. I'm waiting. Exactly. It felt more satisfying beating MBB in the regular season than it would have to won an Ultimini. Even though KCC beat us, I hope KCC goes and beats the shit out of MBB in the Ultimus. The Bucs got embarrassed last year by the Grey Ducks. Hopefully it can happen again. The identity of the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers is to just make the Ultimini and then choke. It's going to happen again tomorrow night, mark my words.
18. Awards Season
Raheem Okusi, a Wide Receiver on my team, the Portland Pythons, is a complete beast. He definitely deserves to win wide receiver of the year. He was a key reason we were able to average 150 passing yards per game. He had 894 receiving yards, which leads the league. The 2nd highest person is 63 yards below Okusi. In a run-first league, it's impressive to see a WR put up these kinds of numbers. The receiving yards aren't even the most impressive things about Okusi. Out of WRs with over 100 receiving yards, Okusi has the 2nd highest yards per reception, with a 13.5 average. That's ridiculous, considering how many yards he produced. But wait, that's not even the most impressive thing about his stats this season. He also had 6 TD catches. Boom. Mic drop moment. 6 TDs is good for 2nd place out of all the WRs. Only one person had more TDs, and he only had 7 TDs. Okusi is 1st in receiving yards, T-2nd in touchdown receptions, 2nd in yards per reception for all WRs with over 100 receiving yards. No other player is this consistent in all 3 categories. It would be ridiculous if Raheem Okusi does not win wide receiver of the year. Maybe he should retire to increase his chances of winning.
19. Team Culture
As a member of the Portland Pythons, I think I have the right to say a thing or two about the culture in the locker room. The Pythons' locker room isn't as active as the cesspool that is Myrtle Beach, but it's not bad. There is a unity, a bond that is present within the locker room that you can feel. When it's game time, it's game time and everyone has the same thing on their minds, winning. Everyone wants to win, and it's an amazing sense of community. Everyone is super chill and nice in the locker room. Despite how much of an arrogant asshole I may seem in the public discord and in my media posts, I'm a team player, and I'm a pretty chill and nice guy in my team's locker room. I feel like a lot of my teammates are the same way. We stick up for each other and back each other up. It's fun to be a part of a team. My GMs aren't as active as some other GMs, cough cough frost cough cough, but it's ok. They still put in the time and they care about all of us. AC and Kanako made huge jumps with the team this year, and I'm proud of them. I think they should snag those GMs of the year award easily, due to their turnaround of the team. 2-12 to 8-6? That's an impressive feat.
