(S21) - Ultimus Week

[Brucehum]

1) Playoff Predictions, Reviews:
Written: Give a short write up of one or multiple playoff matches. If completed before the airing of the sims, give your predictions; if it is afterwards, give a review of the game.

The Ultimus and The Ultimini are the pinnacle of NSFL and DSFL football respectively. Unknown to most, this year the two final games suffered the Annastesia Curse. It is a curse that makes the team Nuniq Annastesia wants to win to reach the final, as can be seen by his accurate playoff predictions, but then pick the wrong teams.

As a KCC Coyotes player, Nuniq wanted them to beat the Buccaneers, as is to be expected of 99% of the players in the world. Alas, it was not going to be as the Annastesia Curse is almost never overcome, and the Coyotes would lose against the Buccaneers.

Nuniq comes from the northernmost town of Alaska, Utkiagvik (known as Barrow in the past), so his favorite NSFL team is Yellow Knife Wraiths. They were playing the Ultimus for the 4th consecutive time, and many expected them to win. Alas, the Wraith Curse and the Annastesia Curse did not cancel each other this time, as could have happened, but they worked together to make the Wraiths lose yet again.

But anyway, to both teams, reaching a final is something to be happy about, it shows great play all season. It only means the last step was shorter than needed. But at least both teams did reach the finals, and should be proud of their accomplishment.

17) Sponsorships
Written: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?

The ad starts with blindingly white light. Low Mongolian throat music can be heard in the background, along with the noise of something going thump, thump, thump... accompanied by effort grunts. As the brightness of the light turns down, one can begin to see the white light comes from a snowy region of Alaska. There is a blizzard going in. In the middle of the Blizzard stands, defiantly, a Robert-Bosch Fridge. It is difficult to see what is going thump thump thump against it. Charging the fridge, which remains unmoving, unaltered both by blizzard and by whomever is tackling the fridge.

The Mongolian Throat music grows slowly in volume as the add progresses, just opposite to the white light, that grows dimmer as the add progresses.

More or less at half part of the ad you can see that the one going thump thump thump against the fridge is a Football player, dressed in purple. Someone from the Ravens, the Vikings? You can't see clearly... as the light becomes perfect, you see it is from the favourite DSFL team, The KCC Coyotes! The player is number 99, Nuniq Annastesia. He takes some steps back, and charges yet again. The fridge remains undented, unfaced. Standing proudly against the weather and the human.

A voice in off, the coach, says "Remember, Nuniq, fridge doors open outwards!"

Nuniq stops, and opens the door. The content inside, quite a few bottles of Molson beer, are intact. He picks two. One he throws towards the camera, the narrator. A hand catches it.

"To make sure you can rely 100% on our freezers in everyday use, we test them in the toughest conditions. And only if the freezer works perfectly here is it ready for you to use in your homes"

19) Team Culture
Written: What is it about your team’s culture and/or locker room that makes you happy to be there? If there are any problems, what do you think should be done to improve them?

sports reporter: "So tell us, Nuniq, you stand here ready to play in the Ultimini with your team, the the Kansas City Coyotes. To get here, your team won the DSFL NFC North with a 9-5 result. Which is a great improvement on last years 5-9 result. Then you beat the Python in the semi finals. What is the secret of the Coyotes? What has made this quick turnaround possible?"

Nuniq Annastesia: "Well, the secret is hard work. The team has worked really really hard. You may say that all teams do, and it is true. But in our case, we have a wonderful locker room completely drama free. We support each other."

sports reporter: "But that can't be that perfect. There is always a dark side. What is the dark side of the Kansas City Coyotes locker room?"

Nuniq Annastesia: "It has a very dark side, indeed. Darker than the mouth of a polar bear in a starless night during the polar night, where the sun has descended and will not rise again for several weeks. A secret more frightening than thinking you are seeing a playful coyote come towards you in the snow, when it actually is Keelut, an Evil Earth spirit with the appearance of a dog... That dark secret is shared by all of us in the Kansas City Coyotes locker room. And it is that we are afraid, we are very very afraid that our next team's locker room won't be as cool!"

20) Nostalgia
Written: What is your happiest memory in this league?

There are many happy memories this season. It is very difficult to choose one.

The first game I played, week 3 against the Pythons at their home. I only managed one tackle, against Nakamura, who I think is the person I have tackled the most this league, mainly because his routes took him to me... but it was great to be playing professional football at last. After not playing in the pre-season, and increasing my effort to be better, then not playing in game 1 and 2, and training even harder, the reward came: being there in the gridiron, with your band of brothers, doing your best to stop the opposing Offensive Linemen and attackers of the other team.

Another happy memory was the April Fool's Day best defender of the Kansas City Coyote prize, for my play in game 12 in London against the Royals. I'm almost positive that it surely must have started as a fool's day practical joke, as even if that was my best game, and I was probably the most productive DL member, the guys in the secondary were stellar, as usual. It just happens that no one could face breaking my heart by telling me it was a joke, so I got that prize.

And last but not least, playing in the Ultimini, even if we lost. That is what all DSFL players dream, playing there, and only a few can achieve! It is a dream come true, an experience to keep in our hearts and minds forever.