1) PLAYOFF REVIEW: Give a short write up of one playoff match.
In what some have described as “the season’s real Ultimus,” New Orleans faced the Orange County Otters in the ASFC championship game. The Second Line were the visitors in the matchup, thanks to a four game losing streak to end the regular season. That didn’t bode well for the team, as New Orleans can count the number of victories they’ve won in Orange County on one hand. But the team was determined to win and make their first Ultimus appearance since Season 11, so they came out fighting. The Otters put points on the board first, but after that the Second Line took over. Both of Stan Francisco’s two touchdown passes came in the first half, and a field goal from Herbert Prohaska late in the second quarter gave New Orleans a commanding 17-3 lead going into halftime. We might never know what Orange County’s coach said to their team in that locker room, but whatever it was, it worked. The Otters scored a touchdown on their opening drive of the second half, and an interception early in the fourth allowed Franklin Armstrong to scramble for the game-tying touchdown. New Orleans wasn’t done quite yet, however, and managed to drive downfield and score another touchdown. Many people believed the game to be over at this point, but those people clearly don’t know the Otters. They got the ball back, marched all the way to New Orleans’ endzone, and with just over one minute left to play, Ludicolo Bigby scored the game-tying touchdown. The battle between the two strongest teams in the conference (and, arguably, the league) would be determined in overtime. New Orleans received the ball first, and a 23-yard pass gave the Second Line faithful hope. But the Otters defense held firm, and New Orleans was forced to attempt a 46-yard field goal, which Prohaska coolly converted. The Otters now had their chance to win the game, and momentum was largely on their side. But the monstrous New Orleans defense proved insurmountable, and when a fourth-down pass attempt was dropped, the Second Line rushed the field to celebrate their monumental victory.
2) PLAYOFFS MVP: Wrote about a heroic performance on the field by any player this playoff season. Why do they deserve to be called the MVP of the playoffs?
Stan Francisco absolutely deserves to be called the MVP of the Season 21 playoffs. Originally a tight end, Francisco made the switch to quarterback in Season 16. The move initially had many people scratching their heads, especially when Francisco struggled to adjust to the new role. But these playoffs have made it clear that that was the right move, and that Francisco is as talented a quarterback as any other. The most impressive thing about Francisco’s playoff performance is that he clearly improved with every game. In the wild card round, he only completed 50% of his passes (17/34), threw for 214 yards, and didn’t score a single touchdown. But in the conference championship, he completed 58% of his passes (22/38), picked up 316 yards, and scored two touchdowns. Many would think that that performance couldn’t be topped, but the Ultimus game proved those people wrong. Francisco completed 22 passes on 37 attempts, one fewer attempt than the game before, but those completions went for 353 yards, a 37-yard improvement over the conference championship. And, after having thrown two touchdown passes and one interception the week before, Francisco in this game threw for three touchdowns and one interception. All told, across three playoff games (one of which was against the defending champions), Francisco completed 61 passes on 109 attempts, good for a 56% completion rate. Those 61 passes went for a total of 883 yards, which averages out to 14.5 yards per completion. Francisco also ended the playoffs with a respectable TD:INT ratio of 5:2. Clearly, that kind of performance--and the ability to elevate one’s play as the stakes get higher--deserves the title of playoffs MVP.
4) OL APPRECIATION: Write about an active human offensive lineman that is in the playoffs, and how they affected the outcome.
Going into the playoffs, New Orleans had two of the most dominant offensive lineman in the league playing side-by-side. Brave Ulysses, a fan favorite in New Orleans, had finished the season with 55 pancakes and only two sacks allowed. And Givussafare Rubbe, who led the league with 73 pancakes and didn’t give up a single sack all season, was the clear front-runner for Offensive Lineman of the Year. The two were major factors in the Second Line’s regular season success, and they elevated the play of everyone on the offensive line: of the four teams that recorded 300+ sacks in the regular season, New Orleans allowed the fewest sacks by a wide margin. Rubbe and Ulysses continued to anchor the line in the playoffs, and much of the credit for the Second Line’s playoff run and Ultimus victory goes to the two of them. Rubbe recorded 23 pancakes in the playoffs, including an 11 pancake performance in the Ultimus, and didn’t allow a single sack. Ulysses recorded 16 pancakes, and he too didn’t give up any sacks in the playoffs. In fact, the New Orleans offensive line only allowed one sack across three playoff games, while combining for a mind-blowing 98 pancakes. The line’s most impressive performance came in the Ultimus, where they recorded 39 total pancakes and zero sacks allowed. In that game, Rubbe and Ulysses combined for 20 pancakes; for comparison, the entire Wraiths roster recorded 23 pancakes in that same game. I know people hold very strong opinions about human offensive linemen, but I personally think that human OL are underrated, and that having human OL on your roster greatly improves your chances at winning a championship. I’m obviously biased, given that I have two great human OL on my team, but looking at these playoffs alone, the impact that Rubbe and Ulysses had cannot be ignored. I fully support human offensive linemen, and I think the league is a better place with them in it.
17) SPONSORSHIPS: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?
The ad starts in the middle of the action: a rain-soaked football game. The game has clearly been going for some time, as both teams are dirty and sweaty. A quarterback in a generic uniform snaps the ball, and quickly hands it off to his running back. You can hear the grunts and the impact of pads as the linemen crash into each other, and you can see their cleats churning up the mud and grass. The running back takes the ball and begins running upfield, but someone--or something--comes flying into the picture and knocks the running back clean off his feet. The whistle blows, and Quenton Bode stands up on his hind legs, roaring ferociously. His fur, normally white, is caked with mud and grime, but Bode is clearly in his element. As the crowd cheers and the rain continues to pour, a deep male voice with a British accent asks, “How does Quenton Bode relax?” The ad then cuts to a quaint kitchen, into which sunlight is streaming. Birds are chirping outside, and Bode is sitting at a small table in the kitchen’s breakfast nook. He’s wearing a plush bath robe, and he’s holding a mug that contains a steaming liquid. As we watch, Bode raises the mug to his lips and takes a sip, and as he lowers it he smiles. Whatever he just drank, it clearly relaxed him. The same deep male voice from before says, “He just has a cup of Yorkshire Tea.” The final shot of the ad is a box of Yorkshire Tea sitting on the counter, with Bode in the background at the breakfast nook. The deep male voice speaks up one final time, saying the company’s motto: “Yorkshire Tea. Let’s have a proper brew.”
In what some have described as “the season’s real Ultimus,” New Orleans faced the Orange County Otters in the ASFC championship game. The Second Line were the visitors in the matchup, thanks to a four game losing streak to end the regular season. That didn’t bode well for the team, as New Orleans can count the number of victories they’ve won in Orange County on one hand. But the team was determined to win and make their first Ultimus appearance since Season 11, so they came out fighting. The Otters put points on the board first, but after that the Second Line took over. Both of Stan Francisco’s two touchdown passes came in the first half, and a field goal from Herbert Prohaska late in the second quarter gave New Orleans a commanding 17-3 lead going into halftime. We might never know what Orange County’s coach said to their team in that locker room, but whatever it was, it worked. The Otters scored a touchdown on their opening drive of the second half, and an interception early in the fourth allowed Franklin Armstrong to scramble for the game-tying touchdown. New Orleans wasn’t done quite yet, however, and managed to drive downfield and score another touchdown. Many people believed the game to be over at this point, but those people clearly don’t know the Otters. They got the ball back, marched all the way to New Orleans’ endzone, and with just over one minute left to play, Ludicolo Bigby scored the game-tying touchdown. The battle between the two strongest teams in the conference (and, arguably, the league) would be determined in overtime. New Orleans received the ball first, and a 23-yard pass gave the Second Line faithful hope. But the Otters defense held firm, and New Orleans was forced to attempt a 46-yard field goal, which Prohaska coolly converted. The Otters now had their chance to win the game, and momentum was largely on their side. But the monstrous New Orleans defense proved insurmountable, and when a fourth-down pass attempt was dropped, the Second Line rushed the field to celebrate their monumental victory.
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352 words2) PLAYOFFS MVP: Wrote about a heroic performance on the field by any player this playoff season. Why do they deserve to be called the MVP of the playoffs?
Stan Francisco absolutely deserves to be called the MVP of the Season 21 playoffs. Originally a tight end, Francisco made the switch to quarterback in Season 16. The move initially had many people scratching their heads, especially when Francisco struggled to adjust to the new role. But these playoffs have made it clear that that was the right move, and that Francisco is as talented a quarterback as any other. The most impressive thing about Francisco’s playoff performance is that he clearly improved with every game. In the wild card round, he only completed 50% of his passes (17/34), threw for 214 yards, and didn’t score a single touchdown. But in the conference championship, he completed 58% of his passes (22/38), picked up 316 yards, and scored two touchdowns. Many would think that that performance couldn’t be topped, but the Ultimus game proved those people wrong. Francisco completed 22 passes on 37 attempts, one fewer attempt than the game before, but those completions went for 353 yards, a 37-yard improvement over the conference championship. And, after having thrown two touchdown passes and one interception the week before, Francisco in this game threw for three touchdowns and one interception. All told, across three playoff games (one of which was against the defending champions), Francisco completed 61 passes on 109 attempts, good for a 56% completion rate. Those 61 passes went for a total of 883 yards, which averages out to 14.5 yards per completion. Francisco also ended the playoffs with a respectable TD:INT ratio of 5:2. Clearly, that kind of performance--and the ability to elevate one’s play as the stakes get higher--deserves the title of playoffs MVP.
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281 words4) OL APPRECIATION: Write about an active human offensive lineman that is in the playoffs, and how they affected the outcome.
Going into the playoffs, New Orleans had two of the most dominant offensive lineman in the league playing side-by-side. Brave Ulysses, a fan favorite in New Orleans, had finished the season with 55 pancakes and only two sacks allowed. And Givussafare Rubbe, who led the league with 73 pancakes and didn’t give up a single sack all season, was the clear front-runner for Offensive Lineman of the Year. The two were major factors in the Second Line’s regular season success, and they elevated the play of everyone on the offensive line: of the four teams that recorded 300+ sacks in the regular season, New Orleans allowed the fewest sacks by a wide margin. Rubbe and Ulysses continued to anchor the line in the playoffs, and much of the credit for the Second Line’s playoff run and Ultimus victory goes to the two of them. Rubbe recorded 23 pancakes in the playoffs, including an 11 pancake performance in the Ultimus, and didn’t allow a single sack. Ulysses recorded 16 pancakes, and he too didn’t give up any sacks in the playoffs. In fact, the New Orleans offensive line only allowed one sack across three playoff games, while combining for a mind-blowing 98 pancakes. The line’s most impressive performance came in the Ultimus, where they recorded 39 total pancakes and zero sacks allowed. In that game, Rubbe and Ulysses combined for 20 pancakes; for comparison, the entire Wraiths roster recorded 23 pancakes in that same game. I know people hold very strong opinions about human offensive linemen, but I personally think that human OL are underrated, and that having human OL on your roster greatly improves your chances at winning a championship. I’m obviously biased, given that I have two great human OL on my team, but looking at these playoffs alone, the impact that Rubbe and Ulysses had cannot be ignored. I fully support human offensive linemen, and I think the league is a better place with them in it.
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329 words17) SPONSORSHIPS: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?
The ad starts in the middle of the action: a rain-soaked football game. The game has clearly been going for some time, as both teams are dirty and sweaty. A quarterback in a generic uniform snaps the ball, and quickly hands it off to his running back. You can hear the grunts and the impact of pads as the linemen crash into each other, and you can see their cleats churning up the mud and grass. The running back takes the ball and begins running upfield, but someone--or something--comes flying into the picture and knocks the running back clean off his feet. The whistle blows, and Quenton Bode stands up on his hind legs, roaring ferociously. His fur, normally white, is caked with mud and grime, but Bode is clearly in his element. As the crowd cheers and the rain continues to pour, a deep male voice with a British accent asks, “How does Quenton Bode relax?” The ad then cuts to a quaint kitchen, into which sunlight is streaming. Birds are chirping outside, and Bode is sitting at a small table in the kitchen’s breakfast nook. He’s wearing a plush bath robe, and he’s holding a mug that contains a steaming liquid. As we watch, Bode raises the mug to his lips and takes a sip, and as he lowers it he smiles. Whatever he just drank, it clearly relaxed him. The same deep male voice from before says, “He just has a cup of Yorkshire Tea.” The final shot of the ad is a box of Yorkshire Tea sitting on the counter, with Bode in the background at the breakfast nook. The deep male voice speaks up one final time, saying the company’s motto: “Yorkshire Tea. Let’s have a proper brew.”
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293 words![[Image: BODE.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/800790374204571721/893650710489628732/BODE.png)
