11) Rivalry
Written: Which team or player would you consider to be your greatest rival? Write 200 words on why you are rivals with them and why you want them to lose (don’t harass other users please).
My rivalry started before I joined the league. This person isn't even part of the league, but I consider every I play against to embody this person. And who is this person? You already know who it is. It's Carole Baskin. That's right, the cats out of the bag. She is my greatest rival and will always be. I see her in Quarter back when they throw a deep ball. I see her in the Running back when he does a spin move. I see him in the Wide Receiver when he catches a deep bomb. I see her every where. The hate that I have bred for her over the years has bubbled over into every aspect of my life and I can't control myself. That anger drives my career on the football field and helps me to destroy the competition. Why do I consider her to be my rival? Well it's because of everything and history is far too deep to talk about in just one small journal. I suppose I could create media about it and talk through why exactly she is the worst ever. But that would take a long time, so stay tuned about that to learn
12) Pay It Forward
Written: Write about someone in this league who you look up to or who you think of as a friend. Why do they deserve to be lauded?
Given that I don’t know hardly no players in this league. There is only one person that I would consider my friend @PersonMann. Why? Because he’s cool that’s why. Oh and because he happens to be my CO in another league that I’m a part of. What league? Professional BASEBALL EXPERIENCE LEGAEGUAUAUA. That’s right. YA BOI, is a multi sport athlete. I also happen to go by a different name in that league and am also way younger and smaller, don’t ask how that’s possible, because I don’t know. It’s just the way it is.
MR. PM. Is the best GM that I have ever had the honor of Gming with ( don’t let it go to your head, I’ve never Gmed with anybody else). There are other users that I know here, so maybe next season I can “LAUD” them, whatever that means.
Another thing about PM, is that he is offensive line which is cool I guess. They have this weird cult like following that and like to talk about pancakes? I don’t understand it, I just try to get past them and sack their stinky QBs. Some of those O Lines guys are dumb as rocks though, they never say anything, they never seem to age. They just accumulate pancakes, weird. This is all weird.
16) Scouting Report
Written: Write a scouting report for one of the incoming draftees in either the NSFL or DSFL.
Well, let me tell you about draftee that is very near and dear to my heart, JOE EXOTIC. That's right, myself. I am a top tier draftee!! That's right. I'm a super extra duper high tier earner who is going to blow past the competition and light up every QB on the field. Watch out, I'm taking league over with storm. Even though I know literally 0 teams in this league. GMs haven't even scouted me yet, that's their loss. Is there even any other draftees other than me? I couldn't tell you. I don't check on these other scrubs I only care about my, myself, and I; Joe Exotic. I might not be the smartest player out there or the quickest moving, but I hit hard and sack the quarterback and this is football, so nothing else matters right? Well, one thing might matter, the team is going to have to be okay with me bringing my cats along with me to the away games because that's how I get hyped for my games. Listening to eye of the tiger while looking in the eyes of the tiger, duh
Anyways, teams should draft me because I will have an immediate impact on the field and inside each team's locker rooms.
17) Sponsorships
Written: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?
Graphic: Create a graphic depicting the ad.
After getting off the phone with a company, I immediately have to ask somebody.WHAT IS AN ULTIMUS AND HOW DO I GET ME ONE. They calmly explain,"Joe, you're an idiot, it's the league's super bowl". OH DUH.
Obviously, the only thing that I should promote is myself. The only question is which previous career should I promote? My brief career as a Major League pitcher? That one time I ran for governor? The other time I ran for president? The other time I bought and ran the biggest, best, and greatest big cat zoo in the world? My hit country music career? So many choices, all of which are equally valid. I'm not really sure which one to pick, so I'm going to bring them all together for the 30 second ad, I'm sure the ad will make perfect sense.
We open with a picture of the zoo. Then I'm playing my guitar and singing. Then I'm shaking babies and kissing hands at a political thingy. Next cut to me throwing a strikeout during one of my 4(and counting) world series. Boom roasted. Everyone loves the ad. I win an award for best ad ever and then it's time to start a new career as an ad manager.
Written: Which team or player would you consider to be your greatest rival? Write 200 words on why you are rivals with them and why you want them to lose (don’t harass other users please).
My rivalry started before I joined the league. This person isn't even part of the league, but I consider every I play against to embody this person. And who is this person? You already know who it is. It's Carole Baskin. That's right, the cats out of the bag. She is my greatest rival and will always be. I see her in Quarter back when they throw a deep ball. I see her in the Running back when he does a spin move. I see him in the Wide Receiver when he catches a deep bomb. I see her every where. The hate that I have bred for her over the years has bubbled over into every aspect of my life and I can't control myself. That anger drives my career on the football field and helps me to destroy the competition. Why do I consider her to be my rival? Well it's because of everything and history is far too deep to talk about in just one small journal. I suppose I could create media about it and talk through why exactly she is the worst ever. But that would take a long time, so stay tuned about that to learn
12) Pay It Forward
Written: Write about someone in this league who you look up to or who you think of as a friend. Why do they deserve to be lauded?
Given that I don’t know hardly no players in this league. There is only one person that I would consider my friend @PersonMann. Why? Because he’s cool that’s why. Oh and because he happens to be my CO in another league that I’m a part of. What league? Professional BASEBALL EXPERIENCE LEGAEGUAUAUA. That’s right. YA BOI, is a multi sport athlete. I also happen to go by a different name in that league and am also way younger and smaller, don’t ask how that’s possible, because I don’t know. It’s just the way it is.
MR. PM. Is the best GM that I have ever had the honor of Gming with ( don’t let it go to your head, I’ve never Gmed with anybody else). There are other users that I know here, so maybe next season I can “LAUD” them, whatever that means.
Another thing about PM, is that he is offensive line which is cool I guess. They have this weird cult like following that and like to talk about pancakes? I don’t understand it, I just try to get past them and sack their stinky QBs. Some of those O Lines guys are dumb as rocks though, they never say anything, they never seem to age. They just accumulate pancakes, weird. This is all weird.
16) Scouting Report
Written: Write a scouting report for one of the incoming draftees in either the NSFL or DSFL.
Well, let me tell you about draftee that is very near and dear to my heart, JOE EXOTIC. That's right, myself. I am a top tier draftee!! That's right. I'm a super extra duper high tier earner who is going to blow past the competition and light up every QB on the field. Watch out, I'm taking league over with storm. Even though I know literally 0 teams in this league. GMs haven't even scouted me yet, that's their loss. Is there even any other draftees other than me? I couldn't tell you. I don't check on these other scrubs I only care about my, myself, and I; Joe Exotic. I might not be the smartest player out there or the quickest moving, but I hit hard and sack the quarterback and this is football, so nothing else matters right? Well, one thing might matter, the team is going to have to be okay with me bringing my cats along with me to the away games because that's how I get hyped for my games. Listening to eye of the tiger while looking in the eyes of the tiger, duh
Anyways, teams should draft me because I will have an immediate impact on the field and inside each team's locker rooms.
17) Sponsorships
Written: You’ve been contacted to appear in a company’s ad airing during the Ultimus. What is the ad about?
Graphic: Create a graphic depicting the ad.
After getting off the phone with a company, I immediately have to ask somebody.WHAT IS AN ULTIMUS AND HOW DO I GET ME ONE. They calmly explain,"Joe, you're an idiot, it's the league's super bowl". OH DUH.
Obviously, the only thing that I should promote is myself. The only question is which previous career should I promote? My brief career as a Major League pitcher? That one time I ran for governor? The other time I ran for president? The other time I bought and ran the biggest, best, and greatest big cat zoo in the world? My hit country music career? So many choices, all of which are equally valid. I'm not really sure which one to pick, so I'm going to bring them all together for the 30 second ad, I'm sure the ad will make perfect sense.
We open with a picture of the zoo. Then I'm playing my guitar and singing. Then I'm shaking babies and kissing hands at a political thingy. Next cut to me throwing a strikeout during one of my 4(and counting) world series. Boom roasted. Everyone loves the ad. I win an award for best ad ever and then it's time to start a new career as an ad manager.
