(S24) - PT 1 - Trivia Night

[Skyline]

Acura Skyline, the high flying, quick cutting, touchdown maestro of the Yellowknife Wraiths backfield (AKA the #2 running back), will likely have a long and illustrious career. His first season was a pro bowl, RBOTY campaign, but his second, despite a 3 touchdown Ultimus bowl performance culminating in a YKW victory, was a step back, leaving many to wonder why he had somewhat regressed. Well the truth is, only Acura Skyline himself knows. None of his coaches, teammates, or trainers had any idea why he was just a hair less explosive and a smidge less elusive. The answer: he had been eating way too much dairy. Skyline had never had dairy in his entire life, due to a misguided joke from his father when he was 3 years old that milk was actually cow piss. That permanently scarred him, and he never touched the stuff, actively disgusted by any friends or family members who consumed yogurt or had cheese on their burgers. At the beginning of this offseason, Skyline ended up on the Wikipedia page for “milk” during one particularly depraved evening of googling, and discovered that milk was actually a totally fine source of food. As such he started eating dairy during every meal. However, unknown to him because he had always avoided it, Skyline is lactose intolerant. That means that every time he had a cup of cottage cheese his stomach would distend with gas and he would have a terrible time. Every single game of S22, Skyline was bloated and producing acrid farts. That’s the real secret behind his relatively poor performances. Now that Skyline has been working with a team doctor, he has cut dairy completely from his diet, and hopes to have a bounceback season.

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