08-11-2020, 08:54 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-11-2020, 08:55 AM by jzajenius36.)
Ok Honky Tonk is going to take this opportunity to outline his famous guitar smash sack celebration and the background behind it. Now back before I was known as the sackmaster that is Honky Tonk, I was simply little Jasper Haywood. I had two primary skills back then, strumming my banjo and bouncing drunks from my bar. Now I wasn’t a violent man, but I get a bit ornery when I’m at work listening to other people get to play their music while I’m stuck running all over hell’s half acre fixin to help bands get set up, clear beer bottles, and politely ask a sloshed stranger to get the hell out of dodge. One night it just boiled over.
This band I was helping set up on that fateful night, well they was all worthless as gum on a boot heel. Thought they were the next coming of Lynard Skynard they did. Bossed the staff around, demanded free drinks, had me breaking my back to haul their gear around, so needless to say I was ready to blow. Well a group of 20 year old bros gave me an excuse. These drunk bachelor party boys started yelling “play freebird” at this band for a solid hour. I have to admit I took pleasure in it that night, but things got out of hand. Cussin ensued from both parties, and then bottles got thrown and the groups converged. Well lemme tell ya I can only yell “break it up” for so long. After taking a flailing punch to the chin, it was on. I put my head down and just charged into the group – knocked a good half dozen of em right over, right there. The rest of the fellers, well they all turned on me! Couple dudes broke some bottles and started to approach me – that’s when I grabbed a guitar mounted on a wall and started swinging. Connected like Sammy Sosa on those boys. Broke the guitar and their spirit At that point I was feeling pretty good about my swing so I grabbed one of the band’s guitars, went on stage, and smashed it while yelling “ya’ll aint gotta go home but ya got to get the heck outta here.” That seemed to do the trick. It also grabbed the attention of the String Picker Vocational Head Ball coach, who happened to be in the bar that night. Well that night he knew he had to have me, and I knew what my bread n butter sack celebration would be. Hell of a night.
(427 words)
This band I was helping set up on that fateful night, well they was all worthless as gum on a boot heel. Thought they were the next coming of Lynard Skynard they did. Bossed the staff around, demanded free drinks, had me breaking my back to haul their gear around, so needless to say I was ready to blow. Well a group of 20 year old bros gave me an excuse. These drunk bachelor party boys started yelling “play freebird” at this band for a solid hour. I have to admit I took pleasure in it that night, but things got out of hand. Cussin ensued from both parties, and then bottles got thrown and the groups converged. Well lemme tell ya I can only yell “break it up” for so long. After taking a flailing punch to the chin, it was on. I put my head down and just charged into the group – knocked a good half dozen of em right over, right there. The rest of the fellers, well they all turned on me! Couple dudes broke some bottles and started to approach me – that’s when I grabbed a guitar mounted on a wall and started swinging. Connected like Sammy Sosa on those boys. Broke the guitar and their spirit At that point I was feeling pretty good about my swing so I grabbed one of the band’s guitars, went on stage, and smashed it while yelling “ya’ll aint gotta go home but ya got to get the heck outta here.” That seemed to do the trick. It also grabbed the attention of the String Picker Vocational Head Ball coach, who happened to be in the bar that night. Well that night he knew he had to have me, and I knew what my bread n butter sack celebration would be. Hell of a night.
(427 words)
![[Image: haywoodsig.png]](https://i.ibb.co/jWrrj2B/haywoodsig.png)
