Since the story will be breaking win the next issue of the Arizona Chronicle comes out, I might as well lean into it.
As part of my pregame ritual, I always take a pregame dump in the same stall. By the end of the season, I never have any problems. However, those first few weeks are always rough. The rookies join the team, but they don’t understand our rituals. For example, when Zamir first joined the team, he thought it was a big joke. He took a spot in my stall, and we went on a losing streak. The team captains finally had to sit him down and let him know how important that ritual is. A similar thing happened this year with Gunner. He was walking toward my stall before week one, and unicorn let him know that he couldn’t do that. Gunner walked by my locker with that dead pan serial killer look that we all love.
We have a good laugh about it now, but some of the rookies get really upset. One such rookie, who will remain unnamed, ended up taking a sledgehammer to the stall. We lost every game until the stall was repaired.
When I signed my most recent contract, the outlaws bought a memorial plaque to put on the door of the stall. Now everyone knows that stall belongs to me. After all, I’m always taking dumps.
As part of my pregame ritual, I always take a pregame dump in the same stall. By the end of the season, I never have any problems. However, those first few weeks are always rough. The rookies join the team, but they don’t understand our rituals. For example, when Zamir first joined the team, he thought it was a big joke. He took a spot in my stall, and we went on a losing streak. The team captains finally had to sit him down and let him know how important that ritual is. A similar thing happened this year with Gunner. He was walking toward my stall before week one, and unicorn let him know that he couldn’t do that. Gunner walked by my locker with that dead pan serial killer look that we all love.
We have a good laugh about it now, but some of the rookies get really upset. One such rookie, who will remain unnamed, ended up taking a sledgehammer to the stall. We lost every game until the stall was repaired.
When I signed my most recent contract, the outlaws bought a memorial plaque to put on the door of the stall. Now everyone knows that stall belongs to me. After all, I’m always taking dumps.
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234 words