Task 14: Okay so this is really the only task I feel I can do justice to, and that's because my player, Wesley Eriksen, actually had his first season that is in any way worthly of pro bowl/awards nomination. Wonderful that it came in a season we went three and thirteen. This season Eriksen had 133 tackles, good enough for third overall in the league and first amongst defensive backs. This tackle number is also one short of the Philly franchise record. On top of that I added a handful of sacks, deflections, forced fumbles, and TFLs. I think it would be a bit of a long shot, but I did lead my position in a meaningful stat and have worked hard over a few seasons to get to the point where that was possible. It sucks that it took a porous linebacker corps to get to that point, but you know that's the way the cookie crumbles. The only problem is that I was unlucky enough to record 0 interceptions this season, and I think awards voters (and nominators) are really horny for interceptions. Oh, on top of that my team only won three games, so like, that really sucks when it comes to winning awards. I have a suspicion awards voters care a lot about that kind of shit too.
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Task 8: The Philadelphia Liberty are in a very difficult position and it would be disingenuous to deny it. We've just come off a particularly disappointing season that saw us playing meme strats (much to my chagrin) in the final week, because we had that little to play for. It's almost odd, because the Liberty look to be in great position in many aspects: Liberty have a high TPE QB that saw an archetype change mid-season that has raised his game somewhat. QB is the stronger predictor of team success, so we're looking good out the gate. We also possess a pair of great running backs, Torensen and Dotson, who can share carries and keep the offense moving on the ground. Our O-line has a couple humans, our receivers are regressing slightly overall but like highly competent. On the defensive side of the ball we have a decent d-line, and pretty damn bad linebacker corps, and one of the most impressive secondaries in the league. It's hard to say how expansion is going to hit us (or at least hard to say officially, since I have more war room info than I can talk about) so I won't address anyone that could be snatched up to further weaken the team. The number one place we need to build is in our linebackers. We don't have a true star behind the defensive line to provide solidity over the middle. In a perfect world I would bring in a high TPE player to plug that hole, if only for the time being, because I think a single player in the MLB position can be the difference between another three win season and making the playoffs. The next positions I'd address would be the offensive and defensive lines. Phoenix has an unfortunate habit of getting sacked all the time, and increased protection would assist not only him, of course, but our capable RBs I mentioned earlier. On the defensive front we look alright for the time being, but Hall's absence means we'll need more help there in the near future than we expected. I think our secondary is going to be really fantastic for the foreseeable future. I feel confident at least three of us are going to stay on board through the remainder of the new contracts we signed at least. Most secondaries consist of four or five players however, and that's why I think it's our final, less urgent, position of need. From then on, I think an additional (or younger) TE would be good to bolster the O-line and add a new element to our offense, and eventually we'll be looking for a Torensen replacement. But that's a ways down the line. For now Liberty need to address their LBs first and foremost, and I truly think that could be enough to lead us to the playoffs once more.
(477 words)
Task 23: Oh boy I hope you're ready for me to get silly. Football is a game of not only strength, but of wit, dexterity, and ingenuity. This are aspects that are think are ultimately missing from the current pro bowl system. The first game I would add is Chess. Perhaps have players play each other, or even a chess robot. What's important is that you test their strategic ability. Perhaps there are linemen that have the tactical brilliance to play QB, or at least suggest adjustments on the line. With Chess as a new pro bowl activity we'll be able to better ascertain who has is being misused, and has the wit to take snaps under center. The next game I'd add is hacky sack. This league is a little overcompetitive, isn't it man? Wouldn't you like to take a minute to just chill out and not get hit? Well that's why hacky sack needs to be featured at the pro bowl. I think we spend too much time worried about winners and losers, and less about how much fun we just have playing that beautiful game together. That beautiful game of hacky sack that is. Now that we're measuring athletes intellect and chill factor, I think we're almost covering all the bases here. But I think we're still missing a great measure: mundanity. That's why grocery bagging should be added as a pro bowl event. Tell me you wouldn't want to see which QB has the fastest sack? Which corner knows to put the bread on top? We spend so much time as athletes that we forget the simple things in life. And isn't that what the pro bowl is ultimately about? Not really. But for the sake of this prompt, I think so.
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(221 words)
Task 8: The Philadelphia Liberty are in a very difficult position and it would be disingenuous to deny it. We've just come off a particularly disappointing season that saw us playing meme strats (much to my chagrin) in the final week, because we had that little to play for. It's almost odd, because the Liberty look to be in great position in many aspects: Liberty have a high TPE QB that saw an archetype change mid-season that has raised his game somewhat. QB is the stronger predictor of team success, so we're looking good out the gate. We also possess a pair of great running backs, Torensen and Dotson, who can share carries and keep the offense moving on the ground. Our O-line has a couple humans, our receivers are regressing slightly overall but like highly competent. On the defensive side of the ball we have a decent d-line, and pretty damn bad linebacker corps, and one of the most impressive secondaries in the league. It's hard to say how expansion is going to hit us (or at least hard to say officially, since I have more war room info than I can talk about) so I won't address anyone that could be snatched up to further weaken the team. The number one place we need to build is in our linebackers. We don't have a true star behind the defensive line to provide solidity over the middle. In a perfect world I would bring in a high TPE player to plug that hole, if only for the time being, because I think a single player in the MLB position can be the difference between another three win season and making the playoffs. The next positions I'd address would be the offensive and defensive lines. Phoenix has an unfortunate habit of getting sacked all the time, and increased protection would assist not only him, of course, but our capable RBs I mentioned earlier. On the defensive front we look alright for the time being, but Hall's absence means we'll need more help there in the near future than we expected. I think our secondary is going to be really fantastic for the foreseeable future. I feel confident at least three of us are going to stay on board through the remainder of the new contracts we signed at least. Most secondaries consist of four or five players however, and that's why I think it's our final, less urgent, position of need. From then on, I think an additional (or younger) TE would be good to bolster the O-line and add a new element to our offense, and eventually we'll be looking for a Torensen replacement. But that's a ways down the line. For now Liberty need to address their LBs first and foremost, and I truly think that could be enough to lead us to the playoffs once more.
(477 words)
Task 23: Oh boy I hope you're ready for me to get silly. Football is a game of not only strength, but of wit, dexterity, and ingenuity. This are aspects that are think are ultimately missing from the current pro bowl system. The first game I would add is Chess. Perhaps have players play each other, or even a chess robot. What's important is that you test their strategic ability. Perhaps there are linemen that have the tactical brilliance to play QB, or at least suggest adjustments on the line. With Chess as a new pro bowl activity we'll be able to better ascertain who has is being misused, and has the wit to take snaps under center. The next game I'd add is hacky sack. This league is a little overcompetitive, isn't it man? Wouldn't you like to take a minute to just chill out and not get hit? Well that's why hacky sack needs to be featured at the pro bowl. I think we spend too much time worried about winners and losers, and less about how much fun we just have playing that beautiful game together. That beautiful game of hacky sack that is. Now that we're measuring athletes intellect and chill factor, I think we're almost covering all the bases here. But I think we're still missing a great measure: mundanity. That's why grocery bagging should be added as a pro bowl event. Tell me you wouldn't want to see which QB has the fastest sack? Which corner knows to put the bread on top? We spend so much time as athletes that we forget the simple things in life. And isn't that what the pro bowl is ultimately about? Not really. But for the sake of this prompt, I think so.
(294 words)
