(S24) - Ultimus Week

[TomHanks]

10) History is not always kind to the losers. Tell the story of a team who you view as an all-time great but who did not win the title game. Why was that team so dominant? What were the major focal points of their offense and defense, and who were the star players? What makes them so special? What was the reason that they ultimately fell short of immortal greatness?

Oh baby let’s have a chat about one of the more remembered DSFL teams in history, and maybe the most remembered that didn’t win the Ultimini. There’s an easy set up joke here to go on to discuss my MVP winning season with Tijuana but I’m actually going to sing the praises of the former San Antonio Marshals season 14 year with the Fab V. Now this is kind of a tricky one since this team would never hold up against a post season 21 DSFL team, or debatably even a post season 18 team. However, back in my day (grumble grumble), you didn’t need a full-fledged team of stars to be competitive, as long as you had some big key players, you could absolutely dominate. These stars were as follows: running back Morgan Marshall, linebackers Mo Berry and Quenton Bode, defensive end Nero Alexander, and free safety Walt Green. This isn’t to say the Marshals didn’t have any other talent at all, they had a capped QB in Cooter Bigsby who was also their legendary GM timeconsumer. They had one of the original apostles of our lord and savior Gimmy in Mister Big Chest, they had a capped CB in Vander Jones with 90 speed, they even borrowed Hall of Fame wideout Trey Willie for one famous play. There was a lot to like about this team. But their first five picks in the DSFL draft were the reason for this teams’ dominance. They did it all in the regular season. They went 13-1 (tied for the all-time best record shout out to S18 Tijuana who also choked in the playoffs), they scored almost 400 points (398) which was top of the league. They conceded the fewest points allowing a mere 193 across the 14 games. They lead the league in every defensive category, had the top rushing attack, and saw their RB Morgan Marshal tie the DSFL record for most touchdowns along with Tijuana running back Forrest Gump who tied it in the same season. They only loss this team faced all season was a 3-point loss on the road against the 10-4 Portland Pythons. They were a seemingly unstoppable juggernaut. Then came the playoffs. Facing off against the 8-6 Luchadores, it was set up to be a game strongly favored towards the Marshals. Then the impossible happened and Tijuana put up 30 points against a defense that hadn’t let up more than 27 points in any game including preseason. Only able to score 21 themselves, the Marshals fell. This was a shocking upset and frankly not what the legends that are the Fab V deserved. 

9) Pick any position, and determine who in your view is the greatest player to ever suit up at that position. Why do you view them as the GOAT? What achievements, records, accolades, or statistics do they hold? How do they stack up against the other legends in their position, and why does your chosen candidate come out on top?

Much like how many people (myself included) believe that the GOAT NFL quarterback is still playing, I am going to argue that the GOAT ISFL offensive lineman is still playing, and arguably in his prime currently. The reigning winner of offensive lineman of the year, Givussafare Rubbe. Now, offensive line hasn’t exactly been the most in vogue position historically, so Rubbe has very few career offensive linemen to compete with. To illustrate the difference in growth at the offensive line position, look at the draft. Rubbe was a max earning, high activity player with a long history with not only the ISFL but sim leagues in general. He currently sits at 6th overall in TPE in the league. He was selected in round 4 of ISFL draft. 5 drafts later in season 23, Dick Thruster, who is 26th in his class in TPE and an offensive lineman, was selected in the first round. This isn’t to say Thruster was a bad pick, he no doubt contributes to the Colorado LR in a big way and is very important to their win rate as a team. It more serves to illustrate just how people have come to realize the importance of having two human O-Line players on their roster. That never would’ve happened without Rubbe. Being a leader and a trailblazer of your position doesn’t automatically make you the GOAT, lord knows Sid Luckman is seldom brought up in GOAT quarterback arguments, but what he’s done in addition to that solidifies Rubbe as the greatest OL to ever put on the pads. Offensive line records are the hardest to track in the league unfortunately due to bots who have been playing since nearly the beginning of the league taking most of the spots, but if you isolate human OL records, what Rubbe has done is truly special. Across 6 seasons he’s played in the ISFL, he’s played in 84 games and allowed just 1 sack in that entire time. He has also amassed 419 pancakes, averaging just under 5 per game. When you consider the pancake block to be the impact play for this position, that is a hell of a lot of impact across his career. The human record for pancakes is 495 held by Edmond Beaver-Dantes. Cal should break that record this season with NOLA, making it so he holds the record with many years to go in his career and build his lead even further. In addition, each season the competition for OLotY rises due to the increased number of OL in the league, and Rubbe was able to take home that prize with a staggering 94 pancakes and 0 sacks allowed this season.