(S25) - PT 1 - Opening Statements

[DatSmolBoi]

Why Berlin will not win the Ultimus. Let me start off with a very easy first reason. They are a expansion team. Its pretty rare when you get to see a very new expansion team win the Ultimus right? Here are some expansion teams that have yet to win a Ultimus for example: Chicago Butchers, Honolulu Hahalua, and the Sarasota Sailfish. I bet you will see Berlin and possibly New York in that list aswell. Second Reason: Bad name. Imagine having the great chances and possibilities to make a new and hyped team in the ISFL that should be exciting for everyone in the league. You chose the Berlin Fire Salamanders. Im sorry, but what the actual fuck is that again? I searched it up and all I get is a cool looking black and yellow lizard. What, they are now copying the old Portland Pythons colors? Thats pretty disrespectful as a Python Alumni. Did you really have to do the actual full name? Why not the "Berlin Lizards" or uh....I don't fuckin know it just kind of sucks. Compare the lizard from Berlin to A FUCKING GORRILA THAT WILL FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE. New York wins the expansion contest and "the team that looks better than the other one wins the Ultimus first!" - Me. Third Reason: They are in the NSFC. The NSFC seems like a pretty easy conference don't you think? You have the boring Wraiths, the tanking Liberty, the failure Hawks, the comebacking Butchers, It seems pretty peaceful for you isn't it? Good, now face the SLAPPING SARASOTA SAILFISH AND THE HUNGRY ASS YETI. Have fun Berlin!

And this is why the Fire Salmonders will not win the Ultimus.