7)
The London Royals dominated their conference to clinch the #1 seed, tied for the best record in the DSFL at 10-3. But things were in doubt early in the season. The Royals initially got off to an explosive start, putting up back to back 30 point games against Dallas and Tijuana. Following these dominant performances, however, came a pair of stinging losses, including one to the Seawolves, who only won one game aside from their victory over the Royals. In that game, London experienced a miserable time on 3rd down, going a meager 4/14. While several individuals had solid games, the team struggled. Cortez put up a passer rating of 109.1 on the back of a 2 TD performance and Yaki averaged nearly 5 ypc on 19 touches. Fans were quick to criticize the coaching for only giving Yaki 19 touches. When someone has that strong of a game, you expect them to see the ball a little bit more. Ultimately, though, Norfolk held on to win 20-17. The following week, London lost another heartbreaker, this time with Myrtle Beach. The two teams expect to meet again in the Ultimini game at the end of this season, a matchup made all the more interesting by the fact that Myrtle Beach handed London 2 of their 3 regular season losses. With their record at 2-2, the season appeared to be at an important turning point for the Royals. They answered by stringing together an impressive six game winning streak, during which they averaged 21.2 points scored and only allowed 10 points per game. The streak vaulted them to an 8-2 record and all but guaranteed them the division win, but a shot at the coveted homefield advantage was at stake when they faced off for the second time against the Buccs. In an otherwise amazing season, their inability to best Myrtle Beach in the regular season was perhaps their biggest disappointment. In those losses, they scored 16 and 9 points respectively, both well under their normal performances. The first loss could potentially be pinned on turnovers. The Royals allowed two while Myrtle Beach refused to turn the ball over. They also badly lost the time of possession battle, allowing the Buccs to hold onto the ball for approximately 12 minutes longer. In the second battle, the script flipped slightly but the results were the same. They forced one turnover while allowing none, but only managed nine points on the game. Myrtle Beach’s pass defense was impressive in those two outings, allowing no passing touchdowns in either game. Ultimately, the Royals offense scored more points than any other team and allowed only 6 more than the most efficient defense. With that impressive showing, they certainly earned their week one bye and set up what could be a fascinating revenge story, should they see the Buccaneers from Myrtle Beach again in the postseason. (480 words)
25)
An activity that is not a part of any pro-bowl, so far as I am aware, is a Beard Styling contest. This often overlooked event provides an opportunity for entertainment that, in the eyes of this writer, surpasses most others with relative ease. Many athletes enjoy growing beards, but football beards are dampened by helmets, so it is rare for players to truly get a moment in the spotlight with the epic facial hair they have worked for weeks, months, or years to develop. In addition to being recognized for their on-field talents, players who have put extraordinary effort into their facial hair should be recognized. As one of the aforementioned players, I think my beard could, with the right stylist, be declared the best in the ISFL. I have already consulted with several of the leading beard stylists around the Kansas City metro area, and have already selected one should this competition be approved. We are considering sculpting my beard into an epic landscape that would feature multiple trees, perhaps some mountains in the background, and, most notably, a Coyote in honor of my season in Kansas City. Should HO fail to act on such a brilliant idea, I really think we should have a no-confidence vote and make sure our leaders are actually committed to the universal enjoyment of the sim. In short: beard styling contest or riots. It’s in your hands now, HO… (236 words)
29)
I have been scouted, at this point, by a decent number of ISFL teams regarding the upcoming draft. While nearly every team has asked whether I would be interested in switching positions, most have clarified that they are desperately in need of quality interior defensive linemen. I think that the push towards having more human OL has actually made this position even more valuable, but the fact that players experience incredibly slow starts drives people away, creating a real void of talent at this position. That is part of why I chose to play DT instead of the more lucrative DE or going for the memes on the offensive side of the battle in the trenches. The importance of an effective Defensive Line should not be understated. A dominant line will stop runs, pressure QBs, and both create more tackles for losses and sacks for themselves and for the linebackers behind, who will have more freedom on blitzes when the OL is more worried about the immediate threats in front of them. While no single player is the focus of this blurb, the top 13 leaders in tackles-for-loss in the DSFL all play on the defensive line. While their totals are much lower in sacks, I feel this goes to show that members of the DL are essential run stoppers. Effectively stopping the run forces teams to face longer distances on 2nd and 3rd downs as well as, theoretically, forcing opposing offenses off the field faster. With nearly every team experiencing a shortage of interior members of the defensive line, we should be encouraging players who are consistent earners to consider joining me in the trenches. (276 words)
The London Royals dominated their conference to clinch the #1 seed, tied for the best record in the DSFL at 10-3. But things were in doubt early in the season. The Royals initially got off to an explosive start, putting up back to back 30 point games against Dallas and Tijuana. Following these dominant performances, however, came a pair of stinging losses, including one to the Seawolves, who only won one game aside from their victory over the Royals. In that game, London experienced a miserable time on 3rd down, going a meager 4/14. While several individuals had solid games, the team struggled. Cortez put up a passer rating of 109.1 on the back of a 2 TD performance and Yaki averaged nearly 5 ypc on 19 touches. Fans were quick to criticize the coaching for only giving Yaki 19 touches. When someone has that strong of a game, you expect them to see the ball a little bit more. Ultimately, though, Norfolk held on to win 20-17. The following week, London lost another heartbreaker, this time with Myrtle Beach. The two teams expect to meet again in the Ultimini game at the end of this season, a matchup made all the more interesting by the fact that Myrtle Beach handed London 2 of their 3 regular season losses. With their record at 2-2, the season appeared to be at an important turning point for the Royals. They answered by stringing together an impressive six game winning streak, during which they averaged 21.2 points scored and only allowed 10 points per game. The streak vaulted them to an 8-2 record and all but guaranteed them the division win, but a shot at the coveted homefield advantage was at stake when they faced off for the second time against the Buccs. In an otherwise amazing season, their inability to best Myrtle Beach in the regular season was perhaps their biggest disappointment. In those losses, they scored 16 and 9 points respectively, both well under their normal performances. The first loss could potentially be pinned on turnovers. The Royals allowed two while Myrtle Beach refused to turn the ball over. They also badly lost the time of possession battle, allowing the Buccs to hold onto the ball for approximately 12 minutes longer. In the second battle, the script flipped slightly but the results were the same. They forced one turnover while allowing none, but only managed nine points on the game. Myrtle Beach’s pass defense was impressive in those two outings, allowing no passing touchdowns in either game. Ultimately, the Royals offense scored more points than any other team and allowed only 6 more than the most efficient defense. With that impressive showing, they certainly earned their week one bye and set up what could be a fascinating revenge story, should they see the Buccaneers from Myrtle Beach again in the postseason. (480 words)
25)
An activity that is not a part of any pro-bowl, so far as I am aware, is a Beard Styling contest. This often overlooked event provides an opportunity for entertainment that, in the eyes of this writer, surpasses most others with relative ease. Many athletes enjoy growing beards, but football beards are dampened by helmets, so it is rare for players to truly get a moment in the spotlight with the epic facial hair they have worked for weeks, months, or years to develop. In addition to being recognized for their on-field talents, players who have put extraordinary effort into their facial hair should be recognized. As one of the aforementioned players, I think my beard could, with the right stylist, be declared the best in the ISFL. I have already consulted with several of the leading beard stylists around the Kansas City metro area, and have already selected one should this competition be approved. We are considering sculpting my beard into an epic landscape that would feature multiple trees, perhaps some mountains in the background, and, most notably, a Coyote in honor of my season in Kansas City. Should HO fail to act on such a brilliant idea, I really think we should have a no-confidence vote and make sure our leaders are actually committed to the universal enjoyment of the sim. In short: beard styling contest or riots. It’s in your hands now, HO… (236 words)
29)
I have been scouted, at this point, by a decent number of ISFL teams regarding the upcoming draft. While nearly every team has asked whether I would be interested in switching positions, most have clarified that they are desperately in need of quality interior defensive linemen. I think that the push towards having more human OL has actually made this position even more valuable, but the fact that players experience incredibly slow starts drives people away, creating a real void of talent at this position. That is part of why I chose to play DT instead of the more lucrative DE or going for the memes on the offensive side of the battle in the trenches. The importance of an effective Defensive Line should not be understated. A dominant line will stop runs, pressure QBs, and both create more tackles for losses and sacks for themselves and for the linebackers behind, who will have more freedom on blitzes when the OL is more worried about the immediate threats in front of them. While no single player is the focus of this blurb, the top 13 leaders in tackles-for-loss in the DSFL all play on the defensive line. While their totals are much lower in sacks, I feel this goes to show that members of the DL are essential run stoppers. Effectively stopping the run forces teams to face longer distances on 2nd and 3rd downs as well as, theoretically, forcing opposing offenses off the field faster. With nearly every team experiencing a shortage of interior members of the defensive line, we should be encouraging players who are consistent earners to consider joining me in the trenches. (276 words)
![[Image: OTx90BQ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/OTx90BQ.png)
