(S26) - PT 4 - It could be a bowling alley!

[WhatAmUs]

It was a warm and windy evening in Austin, Texas, when Connor Quigley stepped out of his front door to yell at an elderly woman who had fallen down on the uneven sidewalk and was causing a scene.  “Keep it down you old bat, I’m trying to watch early 2000’s basic cable sitcoms so I can feel something again!” Quigley shouted at the poor wretch, with subdued rage.  As he was gearing up to continue his tirade, however, his right foot bumped into a small package that was left on the doorstep.  “What’s all this, then?” he muttered to himself, over the sound of the old woman begging for an ambulance.  The package was addressed to Quigley, but the lack of a return address gave him pause.  “If I had to guess, I’d say this is one of my four ex-wives tricking me into opening a glitter bomb or anthrax or something” he said out loud, to no one in particular.  His curiosity eventually outweighed his concern, however, and he retreated indoors with his mystery box in tow.  Once inside, Quigley unsheathed a comically large bread knife, and began to dismantle the package.  Much to his chagrin, the package contained not a foul aroma or a violent explosion, but a simple folded up piece of paper.  Quigley unraveled the paper, and began reading the text that adorned it…

“Aye mate, cheers for the beers.  To easy mate.  Things have been right f’d-in-the-a here in Berlin, so it’s nice to have a little reminder of the good ol days.  You’re a top “c” word.  I couldn’t think of a proper return gift, so I’m writing this letter instead, as it is the best gift I could possibly give ya.  The gift… of advice.  So, here it is mate.  

DONT DRUNK TEXT YOUR BLOODY EX. 

Right, all settled then.  To easy.  Best of luck to ya in Austin, and tell the old boys I say ‘G’day’. 


Fear the howl,

Karmichael Hunt (@.simo)"


“He always knows what to say…” Quigley thought, as the muted sounds of sirens gradually amplified in the distance.