07-30-2017, 07:53 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-30-2017, 07:53 PM by Stormblessed.)
What is in Stormblessed’s locker? That depends on the day – depends on the matchup. Legend has spread amongst the league insiders like the green fire of King’s Landing about the contents of Stormblessed’s locker.
They say that Stormblessed has an incredibly elaborate voodoo chamber that he makes sacrifices to before games and at halftimes. He has collected personal items from each of the top secondary players in the league as a tribute to the great football overlord, Odium. He allegedly has panties from Ryan Flock’s wife, panties from Phil Carter’s wife, panties from Lincoln Jefferson’s husband – it’s mostly panties.
There are several other non-panty items. He has the high-school poetry from Anthony Petrakis, the brake lines from Dermot Lavelle’s car, the leash and collar from Darnell Turner’s prized chihuahua – the list goes on and on. Of course, this has never been substantiated by “evidence” but it can’t be a coincidence that Stormblessed repeatedly, constantly and savagely torches each of these players on the field.
Stormblessed also has a copy of the drug testing schedule he stole from league servers. You know what they say: preparation multiplied by opportunity equals success – Stormblessed is a walking, talking example of going the extra mile to reach new heights. Just take one look inside his locker.
212 words
They say that Stormblessed has an incredibly elaborate voodoo chamber that he makes sacrifices to before games and at halftimes. He has collected personal items from each of the top secondary players in the league as a tribute to the great football overlord, Odium. He allegedly has panties from Ryan Flock’s wife, panties from Phil Carter’s wife, panties from Lincoln Jefferson’s husband – it’s mostly panties.
There are several other non-panty items. He has the high-school poetry from Anthony Petrakis, the brake lines from Dermot Lavelle’s car, the leash and collar from Darnell Turner’s prized chihuahua – the list goes on and on. Of course, this has never been substantiated by “evidence” but it can’t be a coincidence that Stormblessed repeatedly, constantly and savagely torches each of these players on the field.
Stormblessed also has a copy of the drug testing schedule he stole from league servers. You know what they say: preparation multiplied by opportunity equals success – Stormblessed is a walking, talking example of going the extra mile to reach new heights. Just take one look inside his locker.
212 words
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