THE Minnesota Grey Duck. What exactly is it? Very few are actually aware of the Duck's true origins, many speculate that the giant grey duck, later to be named Moby, was a result of radioactive and genetic tests that took place as part of the CIA's 'Operation Mallard'. Eventually, this 7-foot grey duck was no longer of use to the Feds as 'Operation Mallard' was deemed a 'total and catastrophic failure', and as a result, they needed someone to take this man-eating duck off their hands, and who better than the Minnesota front office?
Eventually, however, it became clear that the Moby was not only abnormally large but abnormally aggressive as well. On many occasions, Moby would break free from his holding cell in the stadium and wreak havoc around St Paul and soon enough he had accrued an extensive rap sheet which includes, but is not limited to the following;
-1 count of conspiracy to commit murder (of a Birddog)
-3 counts of general assault
-2 counts of first degree aggravated robbery (his beak was deemed a 'lethal weapon' by a Minnesota judge) Note: on both occasions, Moby was attempting to steal massive quantities of grapes
-1 count unlawful possession of snakeskin(s)
-1 count auto theft (grand theft)
and the list goes on.
Eventually, however, after multiple years in and out of football games and prison, Moby was allowed free range on every day but home games, when he would be obligated to make an appearance. This, effectively cured Moby as he was free to live as he had always wanted to, not as a freak, but as a duck! (it should also be noted he was also given a lifetime supply of grapes and a 1.25 million p/a salary)
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Eventually, however, it became clear that the Moby was not only abnormally large but abnormally aggressive as well. On many occasions, Moby would break free from his holding cell in the stadium and wreak havoc around St Paul and soon enough he had accrued an extensive rap sheet which includes, but is not limited to the following;
-1 count of conspiracy to commit murder (of a Birddog)
-3 counts of general assault
-2 counts of first degree aggravated robbery (his beak was deemed a 'lethal weapon' by a Minnesota judge) Note: on both occasions, Moby was attempting to steal massive quantities of grapes
-1 count unlawful possession of snakeskin(s)
-1 count auto theft (grand theft)
and the list goes on.
Eventually, however, after multiple years in and out of football games and prison, Moby was allowed free range on every day but home games, when he would be obligated to make an appearance. This, effectively cured Moby as he was free to live as he had always wanted to, not as a freak, but as a duck! (it should also be noted he was also given a lifetime supply of grapes and a 1.25 million p/a salary)
Words 294
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