(S28) PT2 - Mascots

[SwankyPants31]

The main thing that makes the Colorado Yeti so unique compared to the rest of the league is that it’s so dang blurry. Much like the real Yeti, there are constantly questions being posed online asking “why is every picture of bigfoot so blurry?” as if that disproves their existence or proves that the footage is doctored. The true answer is simply that the Yeti, and by extension the Colorado Yeti mascot, are simply blurry entities. They transcend this reality in ways that our minds just can’t fathom, much like a four dimensional object. This is further evidenced by the Colorado Yeti logo. While every other team in the league features the actual animal, person, or concept the team represents, the Colorado Yeti logo only contains a black figure of a Yeti, an ominous reminder of the coming of an entity greater than ourselves. While other teams mascots generally serve to entertain the crowd alongside the cheerleaders, the Yeti mascot serves to strike fear into the hearts of our opponents. Truly the Yeti is a force to be reckoned with, and is completely unlike anything else this league has to offer, in both form and substance. Lastly he also has an otherworldly affinity for teriyaki sticks that cannot be matched.