Agent Tesla: I have some good news and bad news for you Magnus. What would you like first?
Magnus Rikiya; The promise that the good news is actually good news.
Agent Tesla: Well then depending on perspective I have some bad news and worse news for you Magnus. What would you like first?
Magnus: Worse news.
Agent Tesla: Your old high school coach resigned after it was discovered that he was breaking the laws of space-time in the weight room to better train the recruits.
Magnus: What is the bad news then?
Agent Tesla: They called to ask you to come back and coach a game for their team while they look for a new coach.
Magnus: You told them I would never do that and that I would make a terrible head coach, right?
Agent Tesla: They insisted and said a few things that I believe border on blackmail, but more importantly than all of that I volunteered to go in your stead as the brains behind our little operation!
Magnus: So what you are telling me is that I not only get out of having to go back to my old high school to try to coach a bunch of kids after they lost their coach to the most ridiculous resignation I have ever heard, but that I also get to avoid any other media appearances during that time frame since my agent will be busy coaching in my stead? You know what I will take that as good news.
Agent Tesla: Glad to hear it! Just wish me luck and I will be on my way.
Magnus: Good luck!
-Several days later at the big game-
Agent Tesla in a Magnus Rikiya costume: Alright a 126 point lead at halftime is a good start everyone, but I really want us to come together in this second half and try to do even better!
Slagathor: I have been doing some web searching whenever I am on the bench and according to what I can find no team that has scored over a hundred points has ever lost in the history of gridiron football. Shouldn't we be going easier on our opponents so they don't quit?
Agent Tesla: You would think so as mercy is absolutely appropriate at this level of competition, however for the sake of humor I am going to go with the option of continuing to stuff it down their throat to run up the score. There is in fact a mercy rule that will be taking effect leading the clock to continue running basically all the time, but that is exactly why I need you all to play even harder if we are going to break the record of 222 points scored by Georgia Tech back in 1916.
Slagathor: Did the opposing coach do something to upset you?
Agent Tesla: He may have claimed Edison was the superior inventor, but that has nothing to do with me wanting you all to surpass your limits and do your best!
Slagathor: Got it.
-Several days later in the principal's office-
Agent Tesla: I know we just set the single game record for scoring in a football game, but unfortunately I am going to have to turn down the job offer. Being a representative of four players now is far too much work already, and being a head coach on top of it might just be the straw that breaks the back you know? Thank you for the consideration though!
Principal: This is not a job offer. You broke even more laws of space-time than the previous coach did and in a minuscule fraction of the time! I called you here to ask that you never come back.
Agent Tesla: Fair enough!
Magnus Rikiya; The promise that the good news is actually good news.
Agent Tesla: Well then depending on perspective I have some bad news and worse news for you Magnus. What would you like first?
Magnus: Worse news.
Agent Tesla: Your old high school coach resigned after it was discovered that he was breaking the laws of space-time in the weight room to better train the recruits.
Magnus: What is the bad news then?
Agent Tesla: They called to ask you to come back and coach a game for their team while they look for a new coach.
Magnus: You told them I would never do that and that I would make a terrible head coach, right?
Agent Tesla: They insisted and said a few things that I believe border on blackmail, but more importantly than all of that I volunteered to go in your stead as the brains behind our little operation!
Magnus: So what you are telling me is that I not only get out of having to go back to my old high school to try to coach a bunch of kids after they lost their coach to the most ridiculous resignation I have ever heard, but that I also get to avoid any other media appearances during that time frame since my agent will be busy coaching in my stead? You know what I will take that as good news.
Agent Tesla: Glad to hear it! Just wish me luck and I will be on my way.
Magnus: Good luck!
-Several days later at the big game-
Agent Tesla in a Magnus Rikiya costume: Alright a 126 point lead at halftime is a good start everyone, but I really want us to come together in this second half and try to do even better!
Slagathor: I have been doing some web searching whenever I am on the bench and according to what I can find no team that has scored over a hundred points has ever lost in the history of gridiron football. Shouldn't we be going easier on our opponents so they don't quit?
Agent Tesla: You would think so as mercy is absolutely appropriate at this level of competition, however for the sake of humor I am going to go with the option of continuing to stuff it down their throat to run up the score. There is in fact a mercy rule that will be taking effect leading the clock to continue running basically all the time, but that is exactly why I need you all to play even harder if we are going to break the record of 222 points scored by Georgia Tech back in 1916.
Slagathor: Did the opposing coach do something to upset you?
Agent Tesla: He may have claimed Edison was the superior inventor, but that has nothing to do with me wanting you all to surpass your limits and do your best!
Slagathor: Got it.
-Several days later in the principal's office-
Agent Tesla: I know we just set the single game record for scoring in a football game, but unfortunately I am going to have to turn down the job offer. Being a representative of four players now is far too much work already, and being a head coach on top of it might just be the straw that breaks the back you know? Thank you for the consideration though!
Principal: This is not a job offer. You broke even more laws of space-time than the previous coach did and in a minuscule fraction of the time! I called you here to ask that you never come back.
Agent Tesla: Fair enough!
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