18. This question is a two parter. The first player that comes to mind is technically not an official player on our current roster. The player Jimmy Garapolo Jr. (a.k.a. Frick Nasty) is one of the biggest team players for the Hawks. Although he is one of the GMs of our team, he spent the past season in the DSFL. Despite not even being in the same league as the rest of us, Frick was one of the best team players we could ask for. He was our biggest hype man and truly a joy to be around in the locker room. He spends so much time in the Locker room making sure everyone is heard and no one goes ignored. While he does play an important and appreciated role on the team, the rest of the league does not know how important he is to our team. Needless to say, I am so excited to call him a teammate in the future. The second teammate (that is also an official teammate) is Excelsior (a.k.a. Maui Waialiki.) I’m extremely biased but Excelsior had been one of the best people I have met within this league. Whenever anyone on the team is dealing with issues (either in the league or IRL) Excel is always willing to step up or be someone to talk about things with. Lord knows he has helped me a lot for the two seasons I have had a player. Excel made me want to be a Hawk and him and the GMS cemented that fact. While balancing being a normal player, Excel is also an HO intern, Baltimore War Room member, and just a stand out guy. In conclusion, Excelsior is an amazing human that I have no doubts will be a pivotal member of the league one day.
19. With Hall and Frick too busy tackling a rebuild to stress about Stadium designs and concessions, they have left the latter to none other than Chunt The Badger. Known as the food and beer connoisseur of the Baltimore Hawks, this was a no brainer. Chunt decided to completely refresh the Baltimore Stadium’s concession stand with all the proper delicacies of Baltimore and it’s players. The menu consists of crab legs, crab cakes, and hushpuppies in order to honor to amazing seafood Maryland has to offer. In addition, the hot new menu item called “Goose Nuggets” are breadcrumbs to honor the current Running Back, Busch Goose who infamously demanded Luke Quick bring him bread crumbs in his contract. The breadcrumbs can be seasoned various ways, including buffalo style, garlic-parmesan, and barbecue. Further, Chunt has specialized in adopting a steak shaped in the style of a Badger to show just how meaty your favorite badger is. It is topped off with caramelized onions and a dash of mashed potatoes to honor his iconic white stripe. Lastly, the new addition of corn dogs has been put into the mix, in an effort to honor Luke Quick because you would only need one hand to eat that delicacy.
20. If Chunt The Badger had a show starring them, there is no need to fictionalize or have him read off a script. He is one of the most hilarious and off the cuff badgers the world has seen and no script would do him justice. The show would have to be a reality show, like Parks and Recreation style but The Office is too overhyped. It would follow Chunt on his day to day life, followed by his various pursuits. The series would be entitled “Life In The Badger Lane,” a spin on “Life In The Fast Lane” by The Eagles. The pilot would star Chunt being told he is not a good role model by iStegosauruz and struggling to grasp the sentiment. In turn, Chunt would go on to do absurd tasks throughout a week to try and prove his hater wrong. Whether it be through spending time at the Maryland Zoo, only to spend the time flirting with the giraffes, or offering free tickets to blind children to come watch the Baltimore Hawks, Chunt would find himself lost on what to do. However, at the very end of the episode, Chunt learns to not care. He goes on to blow his money on a steak dinner for the entire Baltimore team and drinks enough whiskey to forget what that stinky Dino said to him.
27. Football is a speciest sport. I have stated that from the moment I joined the league and will continue stating that until the very moment I die. Since no user has taken the time to fully acclimate to the fact the league has two prominent players that are not humans (ahem Busch Goose and Chunt The Badger) it is time to make some rule changes. First and foremost, NO MORE TACKLING ANIMALS. You heard me right. I, Chunt The Badger, have had five concussions since the start of my career and just know whenever I drop a ball, its because I literally can’t see straight. What if the next tackle breaks Goose’s wing? This also explains the large amount of penalties this past season on my part. Tackling animals constitutes as animal cruelty and I cannot stand for this anymore. A badger is literally only 11 inches tall, its just unfair. Honestly, that is the only rule change this league should follow. I am slightly concerned over this issue for the mere fact Baltimore has a host of animal players and we cannot go through any injuries. If this is the way the league is suppressing Baltimore wins, we need a serious talking to.
19. With Hall and Frick too busy tackling a rebuild to stress about Stadium designs and concessions, they have left the latter to none other than Chunt The Badger. Known as the food and beer connoisseur of the Baltimore Hawks, this was a no brainer. Chunt decided to completely refresh the Baltimore Stadium’s concession stand with all the proper delicacies of Baltimore and it’s players. The menu consists of crab legs, crab cakes, and hushpuppies in order to honor to amazing seafood Maryland has to offer. In addition, the hot new menu item called “Goose Nuggets” are breadcrumbs to honor the current Running Back, Busch Goose who infamously demanded Luke Quick bring him bread crumbs in his contract. The breadcrumbs can be seasoned various ways, including buffalo style, garlic-parmesan, and barbecue. Further, Chunt has specialized in adopting a steak shaped in the style of a Badger to show just how meaty your favorite badger is. It is topped off with caramelized onions and a dash of mashed potatoes to honor his iconic white stripe. Lastly, the new addition of corn dogs has been put into the mix, in an effort to honor Luke Quick because you would only need one hand to eat that delicacy.
20. If Chunt The Badger had a show starring them, there is no need to fictionalize or have him read off a script. He is one of the most hilarious and off the cuff badgers the world has seen and no script would do him justice. The show would have to be a reality show, like Parks and Recreation style but The Office is too overhyped. It would follow Chunt on his day to day life, followed by his various pursuits. The series would be entitled “Life In The Badger Lane,” a spin on “Life In The Fast Lane” by The Eagles. The pilot would star Chunt being told he is not a good role model by iStegosauruz and struggling to grasp the sentiment. In turn, Chunt would go on to do absurd tasks throughout a week to try and prove his hater wrong. Whether it be through spending time at the Maryland Zoo, only to spend the time flirting with the giraffes, or offering free tickets to blind children to come watch the Baltimore Hawks, Chunt would find himself lost on what to do. However, at the very end of the episode, Chunt learns to not care. He goes on to blow his money on a steak dinner for the entire Baltimore team and drinks enough whiskey to forget what that stinky Dino said to him.
27. Football is a speciest sport. I have stated that from the moment I joined the league and will continue stating that until the very moment I die. Since no user has taken the time to fully acclimate to the fact the league has two prominent players that are not humans (ahem Busch Goose and Chunt The Badger) it is time to make some rule changes. First and foremost, NO MORE TACKLING ANIMALS. You heard me right. I, Chunt The Badger, have had five concussions since the start of my career and just know whenever I drop a ball, its because I literally can’t see straight. What if the next tackle breaks Goose’s wing? This also explains the large amount of penalties this past season on my part. Tackling animals constitutes as animal cruelty and I cannot stand for this anymore. A badger is literally only 11 inches tall, its just unfair. Honestly, that is the only rule change this league should follow. I am slightly concerned over this issue for the mere fact Baltimore has a host of animal players and we cannot go through any injuries. If this is the way the league is suppressing Baltimore wins, we need a serious talking to.
![[Image: ofGXT1Z.gif]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/797589840568123476/802292960678248468/ofGXT1Z.gif)
![[Image: 1177a4965f7a3fba9ff2d2a5a5f190a5.jpg]](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/11/77/a4/1177a4965f7a3fba9ff2d2a5a5f190a5.jpg)
