The Otters organization has been planning the building of a statue commemorating one of their great players for some time now. When coach called me into his office to talk about it, I was humbled, but not surprised. I am the great Bender Rodriguez, after all. And it wouldn't be the first statue made in my honor. I sat in the chair facing his desk. Coach looked at me and said, "Son, you have a computer for a brain so we would like you to head the design team for this statue." "I am honored you would let me design my own statue. It will be the greatest statue of Bender ever built," I replied. Coach stared at me blankly and responded, "Woah, slow down there buddy. We will be honoring Heep. He's retiring and we'd like to send him out in style." Feeling a sense of injustice, I extended my arm across the desk and slapped the crap out of his face. "You're going to pass me up for that two-bit meatbag?? Listen here, my greatness started when I came into the league as an immediate callup. My ass was too good to warm the bench in the DSFL. I had 5 sacks last year. And a pass deflection! I was robbed of the Defensive Rookie of the Year award. Probably MVP too. And now you're going to rob me of a statue memorializing my greatness? You've boned me for the last time! I'm going to test free agency. Find a new team. One that has blackjack and hookers!"
And that's how you found out that Bender will be a free agent next season.
haha jk Otter for life
Even with their stupid statue of Heep and not Bender
And that's how you found out that Bender will be a free agent next season.
haha jk Otter for life
Even with their stupid statue of Heep and not Bender
"I'm gonna start my own league with blackjack and hookers"
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