(S29) PT 4 - Statues

[Haseo]

Code:

215 words

Excuse me, fellow players of the International Football Simulation League, do you have a moment to listen to the story of Daria Guava-Fresca, the Ultimini winning kicker who only played one season and died tragically after being murdered for celebrating? That's right. While celebrating the Norfolk Seawolves' season 23 Ultimini win, Melvin Murder-Moose was celebrating with close friends Daria Guava-Fresca, Bjorn Ironside, Tesla Ironside, and Adelie de Pengu. It was during this celebration that Melvin announced that he would desire a piece of cake. Everybody complied except for Guava-Fresca, who shooed him away from the cake. This sent Melvin Murder-Moose into a fit of rage and murdered Guava-Fresca.

Why would someone who murdered a fellow ISFL player be allowed to continue to play in the ISFL? Why, he has the best lawyers of course. Since the incident involving Guava-Fresca, Melvin’s lawyer made sure to include the stipulation in his contract that he be provided cake at any time.

In memory of Daria Guava-Fresca, the Norfolk Seawolves will be erecting a statue of Guava-Fresca outside their home stadium. You will be able to see the legendary kicker in her uniform kicking the field goal that won the Season 23 Ultimini for the Norfolk Seawolves. You may even see Melvin sneaking up behind her, demanding that cake...