RECOVERED FROM ROYAL CANADIAN NEWS.COM
You've heard all the stories about the Yellowknife team by now. Drinking, investigating and camping in abandoned mine shafts and playing video games. That all seems pretty fun doesn't it? All fun and games. The next part of the story not so much. Recently the Yellowknife Wraiths suffered two horrible losses to very weak teams, many would blame the game plan of playing the #1 pick out of position at WR, or not running the ball against a very week run defense. While everybody has their opinion, the Wraiths player sought out to solve it themselves, outside of managements wishes.
You've all seen Blue Mountain State, wait you haven't? What the fuck are you doing with your life if you haven't seen it. Anyway Chris Orosz is a huge fan of it, constantly quoting Alex Moran at every chance he gets.
Fast forward to Saturday night where Orosz has called the whole team together, that means everybody on the practice squad and main roster. Orosz felt that reason the Wraiths have lost their "mojo" as he calls it is because of the lack of discipline and distractions that surround a football stats life. The moment the speech finished, bowls starting appearing out of everywhere as if it was a grown up's candyshop.
In true BMS form, Orosz stuck to the script and each player had to reach into a hat and consume whatever substance they held. First up was Bubba Nuck, Nuck reached into the hat and pulled out some weed. No biggie, Nuck stayed pretty chill for the rest of the night. Cushing reached into the hat but refused to tell anybody what he actually got. Everybody assumed it was Ecstasy because Cushing didn't piss off anybody that night and was pretty fucking buzzed. BORK BORK walked up, reached into the hat but to his suprise the hat was completly empty. "Chris , what's the fuckin deal?"
Chris looked into the hat dumbfounded, before making eye contact with each player around the room. He snapped, WHERE THE FUCK IS BIGBOY17??. They checked all the bowls, the room was packed with drugs when we started. Seeing how the party was over and nobody could find BigBoy, we all went home.
Fast forward a few hours and we all get a call from the coach. " I'm here with BigBoy17 in the cells in Yellowknife, he claims you guys set up some sort of drugs Olympics? We all feigned ignorance, no idea what you're talking about coach.
After waking up the morning after we couldn't believe our eyes. " MAN ARRESTED FOLLOWING 12 HOUR STATE WIDE MANHUNT FOLLOWING A STRING OF BANK ROBBERIES"
The subtitle read " ZOBOT BIGBOY17 22, who was born and raised in Yellowknife led police on a nation wide chase , being stopped shortly before entering Nova Scotia. Cops quickly searched Bigboy's car following his arrest, finding copious amounts of drugs. Further blood tests dumbfounded scientists who claimed the findings showed that BigBoy17's blood was the equivalent of a 20 year Heroin users. Bigboy17's sweat was officially classified as an A rank drug as of 13/08/17.
You've heard all the stories about the Yellowknife team by now. Drinking, investigating and camping in abandoned mine shafts and playing video games. That all seems pretty fun doesn't it? All fun and games. The next part of the story not so much. Recently the Yellowknife Wraiths suffered two horrible losses to very weak teams, many would blame the game plan of playing the #1 pick out of position at WR, or not running the ball against a very week run defense. While everybody has their opinion, the Wraiths player sought out to solve it themselves, outside of managements wishes.
You've all seen Blue Mountain State, wait you haven't? What the fuck are you doing with your life if you haven't seen it. Anyway Chris Orosz is a huge fan of it, constantly quoting Alex Moran at every chance he gets.
Fast forward to Saturday night where Orosz has called the whole team together, that means everybody on the practice squad and main roster. Orosz felt that reason the Wraiths have lost their "mojo" as he calls it is because of the lack of discipline and distractions that surround a football stats life. The moment the speech finished, bowls starting appearing out of everywhere as if it was a grown up's candyshop.
In true BMS form, Orosz stuck to the script and each player had to reach into a hat and consume whatever substance they held. First up was Bubba Nuck, Nuck reached into the hat and pulled out some weed. No biggie, Nuck stayed pretty chill for the rest of the night. Cushing reached into the hat but refused to tell anybody what he actually got. Everybody assumed it was Ecstasy because Cushing didn't piss off anybody that night and was pretty fucking buzzed. BORK BORK walked up, reached into the hat but to his suprise the hat was completly empty. "Chris , what's the fuckin deal?"
Chris looked into the hat dumbfounded, before making eye contact with each player around the room. He snapped, WHERE THE FUCK IS BIGBOY17??. They checked all the bowls, the room was packed with drugs when we started. Seeing how the party was over and nobody could find BigBoy, we all went home.
Fast forward a few hours and we all get a call from the coach. " I'm here with BigBoy17 in the cells in Yellowknife, he claims you guys set up some sort of drugs Olympics? We all feigned ignorance, no idea what you're talking about coach.
After waking up the morning after we couldn't believe our eyes. " MAN ARRESTED FOLLOWING 12 HOUR STATE WIDE MANHUNT FOLLOWING A STRING OF BANK ROBBERIES"
The subtitle read " ZOBOT BIGBOY17 22, who was born and raised in Yellowknife led police on a nation wide chase , being stopped shortly before entering Nova Scotia. Cops quickly searched Bigboy's car following his arrest, finding copious amounts of drugs. Further blood tests dumbfounded scientists who claimed the findings showed that BigBoy17's blood was the equivalent of a 20 year Heroin users. Bigboy17's sweat was officially classified as an A rank drug as of 13/08/17.
