(S30) Ultimus Week

[Dagumpa]

PBE PT

9. Well, of course, the first thing I'd do as the new commissioner of the International Simulation Football League would be to extend my stay as the commissioner of the International Simulation Football league indefinitely. A day is not long enough. In one day, I'm probably gonna do sim league stuff for like 1-2 hours tops, unless it's close to the draft or before a major stream. I'd probably give myself, I dunno...2 weeks? I'll probably get bored after that. But let me talk about what I will do within that time. First off, I'd fire the rest of HO. I can't win with those cats. I would keep abh though as he's a pretty cool dude. I would then fill out the rest of head office with people I know I can trust: the members of the Chicago Kingpins war room. So @MN_Moosey, @Bauer, @supertardis101, Canthereon, Sarah, and Dom (they don't have accounts here) will be the new HO. We'd, of course, spend all of our administrative time talking about how we think the sim is deliberately screwing over the Kingpins and benefiting solely the Hepcats. And then we'd realize that we also control some other league or whatever. So let's get down to business with that.

First off, I would give the DSFL full secession rights from the ISFL. I think they have the materials and interest to be their own league. Plus, I know a lot of people who'd rather just stay in the DSFL their entire career. So, why not make it it's own league altogether? I'd then create a league suggestion box. It won't be a joke thing like it was in the PBE. I will confirm its legitimacy by, every week, running a podcast where I read EVERY complaint sent in. Yes, that will include the troll questions or people spamming "21-3" or other assorted memes. I will give a dignified response to each complaint and will explain in the most eloquent of ways why I will make no progress on the matter. I'd then do some "actual stuff" like making the regular season 20 games because football is random and running 16 games in a simulation engine is kinda infuriating. And then I'd extend regression by about a season or two. After that, I'm probably done. I'll step down and vacate all of the league offices and guardposts. This will happen just in time for the GSFA tanks to roll in, led by one piratecaptaindom, to take full control over the ISFL and set up a, soon to be, permanent military regime. Then on the next commissioners podcast, Dom will take up two boxes. And that will be pretty funny. 

21. I don't know if I'm in the majority or minority on this position, but I love the new sim. I think it's really just swell and dandy. And that's not me being sarcastic. You can usually tell if I'm being sarcastic because my nose will turn orange. But anyway, the new sim has done wonders for the ISFL. For starters, players are no longer sitting at the max amount of TPE they can put into their player for their last 2 or so seasons before regression. Traits have been a lot of fun. While I'm still not 100% sure if they make any difference on the sim, I am happy that people are no longer banking their updates at 1200 TPE. Getting a lot of a certain stat is now also harder. I remember when Dex Kennedy broke the all-time, single season tackles record in S24. Nobody really batted an eye since he broke a record that had previously been broken the season prior and was probably a curio of the 16 game schedule. But guess what? Nobody's broken the record since. And it's become even harder to do so with the new sim. So I am damn happy that the new sim exists. Also, Dex Kennedy holds 2 different all-time, single season records. The man should be HOF.