Long Form, Task #4, "Sim Gonna Sim"
One of the more remarkable incidents of “sim gonna sim” in recent memory came to us in Week 7 of Season 30 in the DSFL. As cheering Norfolk Seawolves and groaning Minnesota Grey Ducks fans have already guessed, I am of course referring to Norfolk 48, Minnesota 34. The game instantly entered Norfolk legend, and will forever stand as a shining example of that principle beloved by plucky underdogs everywhere: “Any given sim day.”
The Season 30 Minnesota Grey Ducks were the defending Ultimini champions and heavy favorites to repeat. Circumstances aligned to give Minnesota a team stacked with talent, loaded up on veteran DSFL stars who in most years would’ve already been called up by ISFL clubs. The roster reads like the DSFL record book, and indeed the Grey Ducks would write some new entries in it in Season 30. The team was led by running back John Huntsman, unquestionably the greatest RB in DSFL history, whose career records of 909 rushing attempts, 3819 yards, and 36 rushing touchdowns may well never be broken. He also holds the season record for rushing TDs with 17 and has the second-most single-season rushing yards with 1470. Under center was Kazimir Oles Jr., who would finish his DSFL career that season second in career passing TDs, third in career yards, and holding the record for season completion percentage. He is also the only QB in DSFL history to post consecutive seasons with a passer rating of 99 or better. Helping Oles set all those passing records was a trio of outstanding wide receivers: Mason Malone, Vincent Sharpei Jr., and Rodka Raskolnikov. Sharpei Jr. in particular is notable for holding career and season records for receiving TDs, and both he and Malone are near the top of the list for career catches and yards. The lightly used third receiver, Raskolnikov, could’ve been a number 1 receiver on perhaps any other DSFL team.
It was the offense that drew the most attention, but the defense was very quietly just as formidable. A speedy, swarming unit, they would finish the season with the most team tackles and the second-most team sacks. At the heart of the defense were two excellent linebackers, defensive captain LaCarpetron Dukemarriot and pass-rushing specialist Brooks Bane, coming off a 12-sack campaign in Season 29. The front seven also featured quarterbacks’ nightmare and future 1st overall ISFL draft pick Morpheus Czargyros at defensive end, and a massive run-stuffing nose tackle in ILove HotSalads. In the backfield, the Grey Ducks could boast one of the league’s best cornerback pairings in Owen Reed and Amy Wong, who doubled as a dangerous kick returner. With this fearsome defense and their juggernaut offense, the Grey Ducks had won 11 straight games dating back to the previous season, and their average margin of victory in the first six weeks of Season 30 was 14 points. A perfect season was a very real possibility, some thought a near-certainty.
Entering the Norfolkdome as heavy home underdogs, as much as +19.5 at some sportsbooks, were the 0-6 Norfolk Seawolves. Their closest game of the season to that point had been an 8-point loss to Bondi Beach in Week 1, and they had a total point differential of -120 through six games. They were a team experiencing growing pains, with rookie quarterback Malcolm Savage throwing to three rookie wide receivers, French Fries, Malcador the Hero, and recent waiver signing Johnny Patey. The offense did have a pair of reliable veteran running backs, Jeremy Crouse and Matthew Holford, but with Norfolk often down multiple scores, game script frequently kept them from having the kind of impact they were truly capable of. Savage was protected by the league’s best left tackle, Clifford Wilson, but the rest of the offensive line, all robots, left Savage scrambling frequently.
The defense had veteran leadership from linebacker Sigo Hendricks, defensive end Stewart Hellraiser, and cornerback Hououin Kyouma. However, the defensive captain was second overall pick Sconnie McHits, who despite being a rookie had immediately established himself as a vocal team leader and one of the league’s best middle linebackers. In fact, the defense was possibly even more reliant on rookies than the offense, with first-year players at every level. Besides McHits, the defense featured Nep Neppy at defensive tackle, Nathan Claflin at linebacker, and Lucas Arnold and Spike Daniels at the two safety spots. Despite having one of the league’s best cornerbacks in Hououin Kyouma, a true shutdown corner and dangerous interception threat, the defensive backfield was the team’s obvious weakness. Neither Arnold nor Daniels had looked impressive at safety, and Norfolk only had robots available to line up at the corner spots across from Kyouma. If the Seawolves’ surprising front seven managed to slow down or even contain the rushing threat from John Huntsman, the vulnerable backfield was still ripe for Kazimir Oles Jr. and Minnesota’s receivers to pick apart.
Several Norfolk players engaged in a good-humored war of words with the Grey Ducks official Twitter account on the day of the contest, cheerfully embracing the role of fearless underdogs and potential spoilers. But although the young, hungry Seawolves clearly would not be intimidated, no one truly expected the game to be close. Some commentators even speculated that Minnesota might set a new league record for points scored or margin of victory. For their part, Norfolk’s players simply vowed to play four quarters of their best football and never give up. “Any given sim day.”
On this sim day, Minnesota’s first successful play of the game was a 63-yard pass from Oles Jr. to Sharpei Jr. that put Minnesota in the Norfolk red zone less than a minute into the game. Events seemed to be unfolding as most had expected. But then Oles put a pass behind Sharpei on 1st and 10, and Mason Malone, surprisingly, dropped a sure touchdown on 2nd and 10. On 3rd and 10, Norfolk’s Sigo Hendricks would not be denied, smashing through the Minnesota offensive line and hammering Oles for an 11-yard loss, knocking the ball loose, although Oles quickly fell on his own fumble. After the early big play, the Grey Ducks were forced to settle for a field goal. The home crowd roared; by holding off that initial drive, the Seawolves had already exceeded expectations.
Unfortunately, a great defensive play by the Grey Ducks’ Amy Wong and two consecutive dropped passes kept Norfolk from crossing the 50 on their first drive of the game. But on Minnesota’s next drive, the Seawolves’ defense came through again, stuffing a Huntsman run and pressuring Oles into an off-target throw. On 3rd down Sconnie McHits made a spectacular play in pass coverage, forcing the Grey Ducks to punt on 4th and 9. Fielding the punt at their own 25, the Seawolves proceeded to stun the Grey Ducks, television viewers, and many of their own fans with a 6-play, 75-yard touchdown drive that included an 8-yard scramble and slide for a first down by Malcolm Savage, followed by a 48-yard catch and run by Malcador the Hero. At the end of the 1st quarter, it was Seawolves 7, Grey Ducks 3. No one anticipated that Norfolk would hold the lead in this game for any significant length of time. No one had expected Kazimir Oles Jr. to start the game 1-for-7, or for Minnesota’s receivers to catch Drop Fever. A strange feeling started to come over the home crowd in Norfolk. “Any given sim day.”
The second quarter opened with Minnesota facing 3rd and 3 at the Norfolk 7, looking certain to take back the lead. But incredibly, receiver Malone dropped his second scoring catch of the game, and Minnesota was again forced to settle for a short field goal, making the score Minnesota 6, Norfolk 7. A 6-yard run by Jeremy Crouse to open to drive was followed by a baffling sequence of three consecutive penalties. Minnesota defenders were flagged for a late hit and a facemask on consecutive plays, moving Norfolk from their own 17 to Minnesota’s 37 before left tackle Clifford Wilson’s unsportsmanlike conduct penalty moved the Seawolves back to the Ducks’ 43 for 2nd and 16. An 11-yard pass to Johnny Patey followed by an overthrown incompletion on 3rd down brought out kicker Ty Knotts for a 49-yard field goal attempt, which he sent straight down the middle: Norfolk 10, Minnesota 6. The lead was holding. “Any given sim day.”
However, the ensuing Grey Ducks drive and the rest of the first half played out much more in line with pre-game expectations. Amy Wong nearly broke free on the kickoff return, and with two crisp passes Minnesota was into Seawolves territory. On 2nd and 1 from the Norfolk 47, John Huntsman did his thing, weaving around defenders and bulldozing through attempted tackles for a 47-yard score. The kick was good and Minnesota let 13-10. The Seawolves were spotted 15 yards on the ensuing drive after the normally disciplined Grey Ducks defense was flagged for another personal foul, but an off-target throw by Savage and a drop by French Fries left them facing 3rd and 10. Then, disaster: cornerback Owen Reed masterfully read the quarterback’s eyes and ripped the ball away as Fries made a catch and turned upfield. Minnesota seized on the turnover with a 5-play, 49-yard drive capped by a 22-yard Mason Malone touchdown catch. The Minnesota team everyone had been expecting to see had finally made an appearance. They led 20-10.
The rest of the second quarter was mostly uneventful. Following a Seawolves 3-and-out, the battling Norfolk defense forced Minnesota into a 57-yard field goal attempt, which clanged off the crossbar and back into the field: no good! The team’s traded 3-and-outs before heading to the locker room with the score Minnesota 20, Norfolk 10. It had been a sloppy first half from the Grey Ducks, but they certainly seemed to be ironing out the issues. Television commentators praised Norfolk’s tenacity, but predicted that Minnesota would iron out the uncharacteristic sloppiness on defense and pull away in the second half.
Norfolk received the ball to open the third quarter, and got a yardage assist from yet another Minnesota personal foul, illegal hands to the face committed by DT Joseph Charles Raymond. Norfolk managed another first down, but consecutive pass breakups by the Grey Ducks secondary forced a field goal attempt, and the score became 20-13 Minnesota. The Grey Ducks answered in rapid, businesslike fashion. Vincent Sharpei Jr. nearly broke free on the kickoff return, and Oles torched the Seawolves secondary with passes of 20 and 49 yards, before Huntsman punched in from a yard out: 27-13 Minnesota. Little did anyone know, at the time, things were about to get… strange.
Norfolk started on their own 18, but simply walked to the 28, courtesy of consecutive Minnesota penalties, again: this time offsides followed by too many men on the field, as the Grey Ducks apparently suffered a mishap in their defensive signal-calling and then botched a substitution. On the very next play, Malcolm Savage connected with French Fries, who blew past Minnesota’s secondary on a stunning 67-yard catch-and-run down to the Minnesota 4, where the cornerback Reed made a touchdown-saving tackle. After two attempts by Holford were stuffed, Jeremy Crouse successfully punched in from a yard out and it was 27-20. After another good kickoff return, Kazimir Oles attempted three consecutive passes to Rodka Raskolnikov, all of which were covered masterfully by Norfolk’s star cornerback Hououin Kyouma, forcing a surprising 3-and-out for the Grey Ducks. Levy Tate however unleashed an absolutely perfect punt, pinning the Seawolves hard against their own endzone.
Viewers probably expected a quick Minnesota stop, and indeed, Savage was lucky not to have his risky pass on the first play from the 1 intercepted. Consecutive 5-yard runs by Crouse and Savage himself got just enough for a Norfolk first down, and a short slant to Fries gave the Seawolves some breathing room, but then a false start by Fries pushed them back to their own 13. Surely the Grey Ducks’ defense would clamp down now? But no. Norfolk methodically pushed 14 more yards forward to their own 27, and then unleashed Jeremy Crouse on a play-action pass out of the backfield for 44 yards. They caught the defense off-guard by going no-huddle, and Crouse slipped through a small gap for 22 more yards down to the Minnesota 6! The Norfolk home crowd was as loud as they had been all game long. They were starting to believe. “Any given sim day.” The flustered Grey Ducks defense was flagged for roughing the passer, yet another personal foul, and Norfolk wasted no time taking advantage of the automatic 1st down, and Matthew Holford punched in from the 1. The kick was good, and the game was tied at 27!
The second half was not at all going as expected. This next Grey Ducks drive would be critical. Starting at their own 18, Minnesota marched methodically down the field, as the Seawolves defensive line simply couldn’t contain the superstar running back Huntsman. The Grey Ducks mixed in successful play-action passes for chunk yardage as well. Norfolk’s defense put up a brave fight, but they were plainly outmatched. And then it happened. The flukiest moment in what had already been a very fluky sim, the play that would enter Norfolk lore as “the McSix.” Kazimir Oles Jr. tried to find John Huntsman out of the backfield. Norfolk’s rookie captain, Sconnie McHits, came screaming across the formation, snatched the pass almost out of Huntsman’s grasp, and ran like hell: 89 yards to the house. It was the longest interception return for a touchdown in DSFL history, and Norfolk led 34-27 with less than 10 minutes to play.
The game was by no means over. Norfolk’s lead was only one score, and they had proven unable to slow down Minnesota to that point before. But the fans believed. The players believed. And frankly, it seemed like even the Grey Ducks believed. The Seawolves never trailed again. On the ensuing drive they locked down, forcing the 3-and-out. An angry Minnesota defense then forced a Seawolves punt with a 3rd-down sack by Morpheus Czargyros. On Minnesota’s ensuing drive, the suddenly stout Norfolk D-line stuffed Huntsman for no gain, before a critical penalty on the left tackle Madison Beer turned 2nd and 10 into 3rd and 12. Then the receiver Raskolnikov dropped the 3rd down pass. Oles targeted him again on 4th down, but a heads-up play by Kyouma stopped him after a 9-yard gain. Thanks to the penalty, it wasn’t enough, and Norfolk took over on downs at Minnesota’s own 17-yard line with 3 minutes to play. Crouse and Holford traded runs until Crouse finally punched it in to give Norfolk a 41-27 lead just before the two-minute warning.
The Grey Ducks were plainly demoralized. They received the kickoff and proceeded to go backwards. Illegal motion penalty. Incompletion. Drop. False start on, of all players, John Huntsman. And then a desperate Oles throw straight into the teeth of the Seawolves defense was deflected and picked off by linebacker Sigo Hendricks, who game up just a yard short of the second Seawolves defensive touchdown of the game. The offensive line opened up a hole and Jeremy Crouse ran it in again from three yards out. Seawolves 48, Grey Ducks 27, with just 90 seconds left to play. For those 90 seconds, Norfolk’s defense did just enough. They gave up another big play, a 62-yard pass that gave Minnesota first and goal from the 7, but there they dug in. Pass broken up. Pass broken up. Stopped short. Oles found Vincent Sharpei Jr. from 3 yards out on 4th down, but at that point there were 7 seconds remaining. Minnesota attempted the onside kick anyway, but down two touchdowns with less than 10 seconds to play, it was hopeless. Hououin Kyouma fell on the onside kick as time expired, and the fans nearly blew the roof off the Norfolkdome.
Minnesota never lost again, and practically strolled to their second consecutive Ultimini. That included taking their revenge on Norfolk in Week 14, a 48-24 beatdown that really wasn’t even that close, but the perfect season was not to be. For their part, Norfolk managed to win two more games late in the year, but ultimately finished firmly last in the conference and secured the 2nd overall pick in the upcoming draft. But for one special night, Norfolk, Minnesota, and the entire DSFL saw an example of just what can happen on any given sim day.
One of the more remarkable incidents of “sim gonna sim” in recent memory came to us in Week 7 of Season 30 in the DSFL. As cheering Norfolk Seawolves and groaning Minnesota Grey Ducks fans have already guessed, I am of course referring to Norfolk 48, Minnesota 34. The game instantly entered Norfolk legend, and will forever stand as a shining example of that principle beloved by plucky underdogs everywhere: “Any given sim day.”
The Season 30 Minnesota Grey Ducks were the defending Ultimini champions and heavy favorites to repeat. Circumstances aligned to give Minnesota a team stacked with talent, loaded up on veteran DSFL stars who in most years would’ve already been called up by ISFL clubs. The roster reads like the DSFL record book, and indeed the Grey Ducks would write some new entries in it in Season 30. The team was led by running back John Huntsman, unquestionably the greatest RB in DSFL history, whose career records of 909 rushing attempts, 3819 yards, and 36 rushing touchdowns may well never be broken. He also holds the season record for rushing TDs with 17 and has the second-most single-season rushing yards with 1470. Under center was Kazimir Oles Jr., who would finish his DSFL career that season second in career passing TDs, third in career yards, and holding the record for season completion percentage. He is also the only QB in DSFL history to post consecutive seasons with a passer rating of 99 or better. Helping Oles set all those passing records was a trio of outstanding wide receivers: Mason Malone, Vincent Sharpei Jr., and Rodka Raskolnikov. Sharpei Jr. in particular is notable for holding career and season records for receiving TDs, and both he and Malone are near the top of the list for career catches and yards. The lightly used third receiver, Raskolnikov, could’ve been a number 1 receiver on perhaps any other DSFL team.
It was the offense that drew the most attention, but the defense was very quietly just as formidable. A speedy, swarming unit, they would finish the season with the most team tackles and the second-most team sacks. At the heart of the defense were two excellent linebackers, defensive captain LaCarpetron Dukemarriot and pass-rushing specialist Brooks Bane, coming off a 12-sack campaign in Season 29. The front seven also featured quarterbacks’ nightmare and future 1st overall ISFL draft pick Morpheus Czargyros at defensive end, and a massive run-stuffing nose tackle in ILove HotSalads. In the backfield, the Grey Ducks could boast one of the league’s best cornerback pairings in Owen Reed and Amy Wong, who doubled as a dangerous kick returner. With this fearsome defense and their juggernaut offense, the Grey Ducks had won 11 straight games dating back to the previous season, and their average margin of victory in the first six weeks of Season 30 was 14 points. A perfect season was a very real possibility, some thought a near-certainty.
Entering the Norfolkdome as heavy home underdogs, as much as +19.5 at some sportsbooks, were the 0-6 Norfolk Seawolves. Their closest game of the season to that point had been an 8-point loss to Bondi Beach in Week 1, and they had a total point differential of -120 through six games. They were a team experiencing growing pains, with rookie quarterback Malcolm Savage throwing to three rookie wide receivers, French Fries, Malcador the Hero, and recent waiver signing Johnny Patey. The offense did have a pair of reliable veteran running backs, Jeremy Crouse and Matthew Holford, but with Norfolk often down multiple scores, game script frequently kept them from having the kind of impact they were truly capable of. Savage was protected by the league’s best left tackle, Clifford Wilson, but the rest of the offensive line, all robots, left Savage scrambling frequently.
The defense had veteran leadership from linebacker Sigo Hendricks, defensive end Stewart Hellraiser, and cornerback Hououin Kyouma. However, the defensive captain was second overall pick Sconnie McHits, who despite being a rookie had immediately established himself as a vocal team leader and one of the league’s best middle linebackers. In fact, the defense was possibly even more reliant on rookies than the offense, with first-year players at every level. Besides McHits, the defense featured Nep Neppy at defensive tackle, Nathan Claflin at linebacker, and Lucas Arnold and Spike Daniels at the two safety spots. Despite having one of the league’s best cornerbacks in Hououin Kyouma, a true shutdown corner and dangerous interception threat, the defensive backfield was the team’s obvious weakness. Neither Arnold nor Daniels had looked impressive at safety, and Norfolk only had robots available to line up at the corner spots across from Kyouma. If the Seawolves’ surprising front seven managed to slow down or even contain the rushing threat from John Huntsman, the vulnerable backfield was still ripe for Kazimir Oles Jr. and Minnesota’s receivers to pick apart.
Several Norfolk players engaged in a good-humored war of words with the Grey Ducks official Twitter account on the day of the contest, cheerfully embracing the role of fearless underdogs and potential spoilers. But although the young, hungry Seawolves clearly would not be intimidated, no one truly expected the game to be close. Some commentators even speculated that Minnesota might set a new league record for points scored or margin of victory. For their part, Norfolk’s players simply vowed to play four quarters of their best football and never give up. “Any given sim day.”
On this sim day, Minnesota’s first successful play of the game was a 63-yard pass from Oles Jr. to Sharpei Jr. that put Minnesota in the Norfolk red zone less than a minute into the game. Events seemed to be unfolding as most had expected. But then Oles put a pass behind Sharpei on 1st and 10, and Mason Malone, surprisingly, dropped a sure touchdown on 2nd and 10. On 3rd and 10, Norfolk’s Sigo Hendricks would not be denied, smashing through the Minnesota offensive line and hammering Oles for an 11-yard loss, knocking the ball loose, although Oles quickly fell on his own fumble. After the early big play, the Grey Ducks were forced to settle for a field goal. The home crowd roared; by holding off that initial drive, the Seawolves had already exceeded expectations.
Unfortunately, a great defensive play by the Grey Ducks’ Amy Wong and two consecutive dropped passes kept Norfolk from crossing the 50 on their first drive of the game. But on Minnesota’s next drive, the Seawolves’ defense came through again, stuffing a Huntsman run and pressuring Oles into an off-target throw. On 3rd down Sconnie McHits made a spectacular play in pass coverage, forcing the Grey Ducks to punt on 4th and 9. Fielding the punt at their own 25, the Seawolves proceeded to stun the Grey Ducks, television viewers, and many of their own fans with a 6-play, 75-yard touchdown drive that included an 8-yard scramble and slide for a first down by Malcolm Savage, followed by a 48-yard catch and run by Malcador the Hero. At the end of the 1st quarter, it was Seawolves 7, Grey Ducks 3. No one anticipated that Norfolk would hold the lead in this game for any significant length of time. No one had expected Kazimir Oles Jr. to start the game 1-for-7, or for Minnesota’s receivers to catch Drop Fever. A strange feeling started to come over the home crowd in Norfolk. “Any given sim day.”
The second quarter opened with Minnesota facing 3rd and 3 at the Norfolk 7, looking certain to take back the lead. But incredibly, receiver Malone dropped his second scoring catch of the game, and Minnesota was again forced to settle for a short field goal, making the score Minnesota 6, Norfolk 7. A 6-yard run by Jeremy Crouse to open to drive was followed by a baffling sequence of three consecutive penalties. Minnesota defenders were flagged for a late hit and a facemask on consecutive plays, moving Norfolk from their own 17 to Minnesota’s 37 before left tackle Clifford Wilson’s unsportsmanlike conduct penalty moved the Seawolves back to the Ducks’ 43 for 2nd and 16. An 11-yard pass to Johnny Patey followed by an overthrown incompletion on 3rd down brought out kicker Ty Knotts for a 49-yard field goal attempt, which he sent straight down the middle: Norfolk 10, Minnesota 6. The lead was holding. “Any given sim day.”
However, the ensuing Grey Ducks drive and the rest of the first half played out much more in line with pre-game expectations. Amy Wong nearly broke free on the kickoff return, and with two crisp passes Minnesota was into Seawolves territory. On 2nd and 1 from the Norfolk 47, John Huntsman did his thing, weaving around defenders and bulldozing through attempted tackles for a 47-yard score. The kick was good and Minnesota let 13-10. The Seawolves were spotted 15 yards on the ensuing drive after the normally disciplined Grey Ducks defense was flagged for another personal foul, but an off-target throw by Savage and a drop by French Fries left them facing 3rd and 10. Then, disaster: cornerback Owen Reed masterfully read the quarterback’s eyes and ripped the ball away as Fries made a catch and turned upfield. Minnesota seized on the turnover with a 5-play, 49-yard drive capped by a 22-yard Mason Malone touchdown catch. The Minnesota team everyone had been expecting to see had finally made an appearance. They led 20-10.
The rest of the second quarter was mostly uneventful. Following a Seawolves 3-and-out, the battling Norfolk defense forced Minnesota into a 57-yard field goal attempt, which clanged off the crossbar and back into the field: no good! The team’s traded 3-and-outs before heading to the locker room with the score Minnesota 20, Norfolk 10. It had been a sloppy first half from the Grey Ducks, but they certainly seemed to be ironing out the issues. Television commentators praised Norfolk’s tenacity, but predicted that Minnesota would iron out the uncharacteristic sloppiness on defense and pull away in the second half.
Norfolk received the ball to open the third quarter, and got a yardage assist from yet another Minnesota personal foul, illegal hands to the face committed by DT Joseph Charles Raymond. Norfolk managed another first down, but consecutive pass breakups by the Grey Ducks secondary forced a field goal attempt, and the score became 20-13 Minnesota. The Grey Ducks answered in rapid, businesslike fashion. Vincent Sharpei Jr. nearly broke free on the kickoff return, and Oles torched the Seawolves secondary with passes of 20 and 49 yards, before Huntsman punched in from a yard out: 27-13 Minnesota. Little did anyone know, at the time, things were about to get… strange.
Norfolk started on their own 18, but simply walked to the 28, courtesy of consecutive Minnesota penalties, again: this time offsides followed by too many men on the field, as the Grey Ducks apparently suffered a mishap in their defensive signal-calling and then botched a substitution. On the very next play, Malcolm Savage connected with French Fries, who blew past Minnesota’s secondary on a stunning 67-yard catch-and-run down to the Minnesota 4, where the cornerback Reed made a touchdown-saving tackle. After two attempts by Holford were stuffed, Jeremy Crouse successfully punched in from a yard out and it was 27-20. After another good kickoff return, Kazimir Oles attempted three consecutive passes to Rodka Raskolnikov, all of which were covered masterfully by Norfolk’s star cornerback Hououin Kyouma, forcing a surprising 3-and-out for the Grey Ducks. Levy Tate however unleashed an absolutely perfect punt, pinning the Seawolves hard against their own endzone.
Viewers probably expected a quick Minnesota stop, and indeed, Savage was lucky not to have his risky pass on the first play from the 1 intercepted. Consecutive 5-yard runs by Crouse and Savage himself got just enough for a Norfolk first down, and a short slant to Fries gave the Seawolves some breathing room, but then a false start by Fries pushed them back to their own 13. Surely the Grey Ducks’ defense would clamp down now? But no. Norfolk methodically pushed 14 more yards forward to their own 27, and then unleashed Jeremy Crouse on a play-action pass out of the backfield for 44 yards. They caught the defense off-guard by going no-huddle, and Crouse slipped through a small gap for 22 more yards down to the Minnesota 6! The Norfolk home crowd was as loud as they had been all game long. They were starting to believe. “Any given sim day.” The flustered Grey Ducks defense was flagged for roughing the passer, yet another personal foul, and Norfolk wasted no time taking advantage of the automatic 1st down, and Matthew Holford punched in from the 1. The kick was good, and the game was tied at 27!
The second half was not at all going as expected. This next Grey Ducks drive would be critical. Starting at their own 18, Minnesota marched methodically down the field, as the Seawolves defensive line simply couldn’t contain the superstar running back Huntsman. The Grey Ducks mixed in successful play-action passes for chunk yardage as well. Norfolk’s defense put up a brave fight, but they were plainly outmatched. And then it happened. The flukiest moment in what had already been a very fluky sim, the play that would enter Norfolk lore as “the McSix.” Kazimir Oles Jr. tried to find John Huntsman out of the backfield. Norfolk’s rookie captain, Sconnie McHits, came screaming across the formation, snatched the pass almost out of Huntsman’s grasp, and ran like hell: 89 yards to the house. It was the longest interception return for a touchdown in DSFL history, and Norfolk led 34-27 with less than 10 minutes to play.
The game was by no means over. Norfolk’s lead was only one score, and they had proven unable to slow down Minnesota to that point before. But the fans believed. The players believed. And frankly, it seemed like even the Grey Ducks believed. The Seawolves never trailed again. On the ensuing drive they locked down, forcing the 3-and-out. An angry Minnesota defense then forced a Seawolves punt with a 3rd-down sack by Morpheus Czargyros. On Minnesota’s ensuing drive, the suddenly stout Norfolk D-line stuffed Huntsman for no gain, before a critical penalty on the left tackle Madison Beer turned 2nd and 10 into 3rd and 12. Then the receiver Raskolnikov dropped the 3rd down pass. Oles targeted him again on 4th down, but a heads-up play by Kyouma stopped him after a 9-yard gain. Thanks to the penalty, it wasn’t enough, and Norfolk took over on downs at Minnesota’s own 17-yard line with 3 minutes to play. Crouse and Holford traded runs until Crouse finally punched it in to give Norfolk a 41-27 lead just before the two-minute warning.
The Grey Ducks were plainly demoralized. They received the kickoff and proceeded to go backwards. Illegal motion penalty. Incompletion. Drop. False start on, of all players, John Huntsman. And then a desperate Oles throw straight into the teeth of the Seawolves defense was deflected and picked off by linebacker Sigo Hendricks, who game up just a yard short of the second Seawolves defensive touchdown of the game. The offensive line opened up a hole and Jeremy Crouse ran it in again from three yards out. Seawolves 48, Grey Ducks 27, with just 90 seconds left to play. For those 90 seconds, Norfolk’s defense did just enough. They gave up another big play, a 62-yard pass that gave Minnesota first and goal from the 7, but there they dug in. Pass broken up. Pass broken up. Stopped short. Oles found Vincent Sharpei Jr. from 3 yards out on 4th down, but at that point there were 7 seconds remaining. Minnesota attempted the onside kick anyway, but down two touchdowns with less than 10 seconds to play, it was hopeless. Hououin Kyouma fell on the onside kick as time expired, and the fans nearly blew the roof off the Norfolkdome.
Minnesota never lost again, and practically strolled to their second consecutive Ultimini. That included taking their revenge on Norfolk in Week 14, a 48-24 beatdown that really wasn’t even that close, but the perfect season was not to be. For their part, Norfolk managed to win two more games late in the year, but ultimately finished firmly last in the conference and secured the 2nd overall pick in the upcoming draft. But for one special night, Norfolk, Minnesota, and the entire DSFL saw an example of just what can happen on any given sim day.
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