4. “Sim gonna sim” is a popular expression in the league. Write about teams that have been graced by the sim gods and had amazing performances despite statistical odds, and/or about teams that were considered favorites but may have dealt with some bad sim luck that hampered their efforts. How much of an impact did it have on their season(s)? (Tier 1, ~830 words)
Boy this is a big topic this season. I think most will agree with me when I say that this has been the wackiest and most topsy-turvy sim season in recent history. Teams that should be doing great can’t get any traction while teams that have hardly any TPE and use bad strats are making playoff runs. Let’s start with talking about last year’s championship winner, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A team full of aging and regressing free agent signings, yet they continue to dominate. Their quarterback (probably a dermot alt) is decades into regression yet still seems to perform better than QBs at their peak TPE. I’ve done a lot of testing and it’s clear to me that this is a bug but nothing has been done about it. Heck, I’m not sure if Tampa will ever have to draft another QB as it seems theirs doest just fine with -897 TPE at the moment.
Then there’s the Bronces. I swear they’re a DSFL team. If it weren’t for the 250 TPE cap on minor league players I bet they would lose to some DSFL teams. Yet here they are with 3 wins 4 losses. Sure it’s a losing record but that’s still more wins than the sim should allow. It’s like HO doesn’t even care about how hard players work for their TPE when they chose this sim. Speaking of the AFC west, what the hell is up with that Mahomes player? I swear all their user does is troll, impersonate, and steal HO twitter accounts yet they are having one of the best careers of all time! They spent one short season down then blew up the league. I swear there’s some hidden stat in the sim where it picks favorites. At least it led to one of my favorite media posts ever about whether or not Mahomes will regress. Like sure he’s good but regression is literally a rule so I don’t get the uproar about it. Anyway, not touching that topic.
On the other hand there’s a few sim screwed teams. Arizona for example. ‘But wait, they have 7 wins!’ Ya whatever. We all know they’ll be the regular season champions again then make an early playoff exit. For real, what do you have to do to get that bad of luck in the postseason? We should make extra sure the sim team isn’t doing anything funny for those past few weeks cause it sure seems like it. I guess it’s some sort of karma for when they had a single person playing like, 5 different positions at once a few seasons ago. Dude was so fast and could get all over the field in the blink of an eye so that others thought it must be two different people. Imagine what his career woulda been like if he just played by the rules instead of pretending to be multiple people at a time.
Then there’s some teams that just deserve to be sim screwed. Y’all hear about the stuff that goes down in that Washington LR? Definitely ‘conduct detrimental to the league’ stuff. If they didn’t pay HO so much money I’m sure something would have been done by now. But hey, if anyone has those DMs from the Washington GM that I hear are floating around, feel free to leek them. That’s some league drama I’m all here for. I bet that's a 30 page media, 20 page punishment thread ez. Heck maybe even some HO turnover. Way more fun than the Las Vegas Co-GM 10 page punishment thread. Sad!
While we’re complaining about the sim and being sim screwed, can we talk about this last balance change? Who decided we needed more penalties? Sure I guess you could argue it’s more realistic but does anyone think it’s more fun? If so, point them out so we can ban them from the league. Just a single GM that I know of but they have a history of making bad decisions so I don’t know why we let them have a say in balance changes. If you don’t know what I’m talking about by now it’s the insane number of taunting penalties we’re getting. We really increased the weighting on those all the way to 100. Heck, I think we should just turn them off. No one cares about the dot’s feelings, let's just watch some dot football and forget the rest.
Anyway, guess I’m at least thankful that I get to write 800 words campaigning about this trash football engine so I got that going for me. Hopefully someday we can switch to a better sim. Looks like next season’s is about the same as this season’s but with a dark mode feature. So like, games after 8pm? Woop Dee do. Call me when they make a version that lets you turn off injuries or fixes that Tom Brady bug. Then we can talk about switching.
Boy this is a big topic this season. I think most will agree with me when I say that this has been the wackiest and most topsy-turvy sim season in recent history. Teams that should be doing great can’t get any traction while teams that have hardly any TPE and use bad strats are making playoff runs. Let’s start with talking about last year’s championship winner, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A team full of aging and regressing free agent signings, yet they continue to dominate. Their quarterback (probably a dermot alt) is decades into regression yet still seems to perform better than QBs at their peak TPE. I’ve done a lot of testing and it’s clear to me that this is a bug but nothing has been done about it. Heck, I’m not sure if Tampa will ever have to draft another QB as it seems theirs doest just fine with -897 TPE at the moment.
Then there’s the Bronces. I swear they’re a DSFL team. If it weren’t for the 250 TPE cap on minor league players I bet they would lose to some DSFL teams. Yet here they are with 3 wins 4 losses. Sure it’s a losing record but that’s still more wins than the sim should allow. It’s like HO doesn’t even care about how hard players work for their TPE when they chose this sim. Speaking of the AFC west, what the hell is up with that Mahomes player? I swear all their user does is troll, impersonate, and steal HO twitter accounts yet they are having one of the best careers of all time! They spent one short season down then blew up the league. I swear there’s some hidden stat in the sim where it picks favorites. At least it led to one of my favorite media posts ever about whether or not Mahomes will regress. Like sure he’s good but regression is literally a rule so I don’t get the uproar about it. Anyway, not touching that topic.
On the other hand there’s a few sim screwed teams. Arizona for example. ‘But wait, they have 7 wins!’ Ya whatever. We all know they’ll be the regular season champions again then make an early playoff exit. For real, what do you have to do to get that bad of luck in the postseason? We should make extra sure the sim team isn’t doing anything funny for those past few weeks cause it sure seems like it. I guess it’s some sort of karma for when they had a single person playing like, 5 different positions at once a few seasons ago. Dude was so fast and could get all over the field in the blink of an eye so that others thought it must be two different people. Imagine what his career woulda been like if he just played by the rules instead of pretending to be multiple people at a time.
Then there’s some teams that just deserve to be sim screwed. Y’all hear about the stuff that goes down in that Washington LR? Definitely ‘conduct detrimental to the league’ stuff. If they didn’t pay HO so much money I’m sure something would have been done by now. But hey, if anyone has those DMs from the Washington GM that I hear are floating around, feel free to leek them. That’s some league drama I’m all here for. I bet that's a 30 page media, 20 page punishment thread ez. Heck maybe even some HO turnover. Way more fun than the Las Vegas Co-GM 10 page punishment thread. Sad!
While we’re complaining about the sim and being sim screwed, can we talk about this last balance change? Who decided we needed more penalties? Sure I guess you could argue it’s more realistic but does anyone think it’s more fun? If so, point them out so we can ban them from the league. Just a single GM that I know of but they have a history of making bad decisions so I don’t know why we let them have a say in balance changes. If you don’t know what I’m talking about by now it’s the insane number of taunting penalties we’re getting. We really increased the weighting on those all the way to 100. Heck, I think we should just turn them off. No one cares about the dot’s feelings, let's just watch some dot football and forget the rest.
Anyway, guess I’m at least thankful that I get to write 800 words campaigning about this trash football engine so I got that going for me. Hopefully someday we can switch to a better sim. Looks like next season’s is about the same as this season’s but with a dark mode feature. So like, games after 8pm? Woop Dee do. Call me when they make a version that lets you turn off injuries or fixes that Tom Brady bug. Then we can talk about switching.
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